You could switch the P.o.v or switch it a and then do and outsiders view(IFK if your still working on about my spelling.)

DAVExJOHN FOR LIFE! Sersously though, you need to continue this fanfic. I sqweeled so much while reading this that I think I broke my voice box. Please continue.

Sweet Cronkri. If II don't have diabetes by the end, II will be V-ERY disappointed in you. 88u88

Okay, unless you were trying to make a pun on 'genesis', it should be carcinoGeneticist, not Genesist.

short, messy, blonde hit. II think you mean 'hair'.

wow!such a great story!i really hope you end up updating...

This is so cute! Please continue it soon!

-_- Just finished reading and may I joys say, please update another chapter. This is beautiful

Wow Great story,
I can't believe you kept your word and made this story.
Anyay it's a great story and I can't wait for the next update!
bye
:3

you should end it with two chapters- one from both their pov

Just gonna take a sec to say that I really like this! It's cool how you're doing this in 2nd person like the comic, but it also flows SUPER smoothly (which is hella hard to do). All in all, props! It's also really super adorable. :D

:D

All I can say is... KAWWAI So Sugoi! 3

Hehe cute babies! I can't wait for their date :)

Oh man, I guess I'm a total sucker for stories like this. It's so well-written, I'm jealous of your ability to construct such a Narrative! I'll definitely be following this in future, and even though you only updated less than half a day ago I want to see what happens next!