beautiful story. keep them coming.

Cute story. I loved Polish accents ;) In my humble opinion, you could have described a few things hmm... more thoroughly, like, for example what the snake ring meant, or a few more words about the battle. All in all, I did enjoy your fic, so thank you very much for the lovely reading piece!

For a first fanfic and English being your second language, I gave this story a lot of leeway. Overall, the idea and plot were there, but the execution was a little disappointing. Yes, there were grammatical errors, but I'm talking more about the writing in general. Like this paragraph in chapter 8:

"Severus was looking at Hermione from the time the box was finally delivered and was really pleased with her reaction. He slightly nodded his head in her direction. He saw that she blushed so he ended their eye contact. Unfortunately Minerva McGonagall caught a glimpse of their exchange and was now looking furious. He decided that it's time to run away from her as fast as possible. Unluckily she caught him just outside of the Great Hall."

It was very wordy and choppy. Writers are supposed to show the reader, not just tell. A better piece way of "showing" would be more like:

Severus looked on with satisfaction as the box arrived and Hermione's face lit up with glee. As she glanced shyly in his direction and blushed, he gave a slight nod and returned to his food, hoping no one else noticed. Unfortunately, Minerva McGonagall did catch a glimpse of their exchange. Her furious expression told him it was time to escape as fast as possible, but his luck ran out as she caught him just outside of the Great Hall."

I used a lot of the same words that you did, but there is action and reaction rather than just observations about what the characters are doing in the scene. Try to refrain from using "was" as an adverb (Ex: Use "He watched" instead of "He was watching"). Also, you might try to keep from adding "that" into a phrase (Ex: "He saw her blush" is stronger than "He saw that she blushed"). I know the English language is one of the most difficult languages to navigate, so hopefully this will give you a little more insight to make your writing stronger.

Overall, the story was cute and the ideas were good. Even the interactions between characters were interesting and the dialogue was captivating. There was good character development and interesting conflict to resolve, so kuddos for that. Good job and keep writing!

Good story I really enjoyed reading it.

Cool!

Still a sweet story.

The whole story is fantastic! I love that it was short, but not too short and that it also had a plot :)
Your writing style is really good!
Sassyluv xxx

dont do it sevvie! nooooooooo

They have come a long way, and now they have the rest of there lives before fhem. I'm glad that you where able to give severus a big and happy family.

Did you not say that in her family only girls can be born

Very cute story. I'm glad you finished it. I was not the best HG/SS story I have read, but I loved the original plot and creativity that you put into this. Nicely done. :0)

interesting

This story was quite simply lovely, well written and a pleasure to read. No effort was required to empathise with the characters and to hope they got their happy ending and that shows what a brilliant writer you are. This really brightened my day, thank you x

thank you, Ive waited a long time for this story, and Ive loved every moment of it, a great effort, and you should be pleased, with it.

Good story and good ending! Xoxo