Must say I am enjoying it so far. My favorite was introduction part 2 but I like the story as a whole. :) I'm reading it as you post so I'm caught up fully and awaiting more.

There are so many chapters of this thing that I feel like I've been reading forever, but I'm only half way through. Man, I hope my own story ends up this long...

My favorite part of the story was Intro 2. The rest of the story just doesn't seem as polished so far. It seems disjointed and broken. Also, the chapters are really small, which adds to the disjointedness feeling.

I'm afraid I don't have time to read through the whole story as far as it is posted in one go, so I hope you don't mind if I just give my impressions as I go along.

I enjoyed the last four paragraphs in “Intro 1”.

I definitely liked “Intro 2”. The fight was interesting and seemed plausible. I particularly liked how Dan escaped the full nelson. The description of Dan using his mind-reading ability was very powerful. Marcus' reaction to seeing the third eye and Dan's feelings about him finding out was nicely done too.

Good story and writing style so far. Like the character and loved the interaction between him and the secretary.