SCREAM.

...if i knew where you lived...

I thoughtthis was good, but the misinform8ion and inexplicable knowledge of everythin is makin me SICK.

f8ing. you... there are no words. not to mention that didn't happen yet, and jade threw john out a the way of prospit's fallin moon, him not wakin up until after that. i think that stuff like this is on the wiki. and just fyi, karkat's Land is Pulse and ) (aze.

you see the writing on the wall once you wake up on your planet, it has nothin to do with enterin the game. stupid. do your research, honestly! if not for small things like gamzee bein ooc or this, this would be the 8-EST!

dave's middle name is elizabeth.

okay, first, gamzee's kind a ooc(also how does he even know dave is flushed for karkat?). second, are they goin to play the game? third, i understand why you put karkat on kid prospit, but his dreamself should logically be in his n8ive world(or did you just put them ALL on the same planets/moons?).

wriggling day, not wriggler day.

aww.

ship power 16/20

this. is actually surprisinly good. it 8etter 8e finis) (ed t) (oug) (.

uhh... okay. i in general do not like ocs... just don't ship her with anyone. please.

IM GLAD THERE ARE SOME ACTUAL DAVEKAT FANS OUT THERE!

This is a great story, but the grammer needs some work.

In this chapter, you kept saying "next weekend" when you ment "now" or "this weekend". Also, you keep spelling "while" as "wail" when its supposed to be "while".

Anyway, other than that and a couple more things, this is so awesome! Please keep up the excellent work!

Also, I wouldn't mind beta-ing for this story, if you like.

omg i love this even tho u havent updated since september D:

ITS BEAUTIFUL