This was a really good fic I loved it and now I think I really need to watch fight club because damn this story was good keep writing your good at it

Liking it so far. But if theres one thing thats really bugging me, its the 160 proof vodka... that *IS* fucking antiseptic. Hell, I think you need a permit or something to even buy that stuff in stores.

Minor gripe, yes, but its really the only one I have.

This is unnecessarily rough. The entire reason Yang went to the underground fight club was so she could release her pent up stress and acquire a good quality sleep, so when she went all blazing and angry on Blake it did not make one lick of sense at all. Blake's former life easily would've trumped the so-called 'darkness' Yang's having right now, and while I can understand that she wants to keep her friends away from this life it's really nothing to get worried about.

I also do not comprehend how 'telling the truth' equates 'threaten the shit out of Blake without actually telling the truth'.

That was...disturbing. I really recommend putting a warning in the summary that it's based on Fight Club, and therefore rather dark, cause I skipped over the note in the beginning and got a rather nasty surprise when it turned out to be so morbid when I was expecting something lighthearted and humorous.

The first paragraph is missing a lot of commas, please go back over that and fix it, as the first paragraph, sentence really, is critical in keeping an audience. If they see multiple problems like I did, most are likely to just flat out leave or skim over the whole thing.

The physician was a complete ass, berating someone clearly suffering and with an already short fuse and frayed nerves, for his own displayed incompetence. I get that he's bitter about his disfigurement, but it makes it a LOT more difficult to sympathize with the guy when he's focusing it on someone so undeserving of it. And it's not even like he was forced into the life of a Hunter after all (Or maybe he was, but judging from the show so far there haven't been any 'conscription's' into the Hunter career) Whatever the case he's a jackass that I'd hate to have to deal with for any significant period of time. Not to mention that last part has me questioning whether he's some sort of sexual offender or not.

Also you could really use a line break between Yang lying in bed and visiting the physician.

And why did Yang go to Ren? There was nothing in the story that lead up to it, it just suddenly happened for no clear reason?

Now, don't take all of this to my saying it's a terrible fic, cause for the most part it's decently written. It just really isn't my kind of fic (Or at the very least not unless I'm in a mood for it).