Since it's been two years since you touched this, I doubt you will, but please come back and update it someday. A beginning this intriguing deserves at least a middle, if not, God forbid, an end.

Very awesome! I hope to see more nalu in the future.. !

Okay, finally. Fvck it. FVCK it.

You, are such a fvcking great writer *standing ovation* Srsly, all of these poorly-written fanfics here are pissing me off then bam! My cousin recommended this one. The introduction is so freaking good. You can publish your own book! Bravo! Kudos to you, Sir.

I have nothing to say. I fvcking salute you. I love you already. Fvck this.

Please update soon has a wonderful plot and I love that Natsu is OOC not very many that do this

I wonder if the journal that Lucy has is Belcross'. Also, the history part from the second chapter gave me some Final Fantasy VII and VIII vibes.

Anyway, I can definitely say that this is interesting. I wonder why does Jellal seem to know more about Natsu than most.

I really hope you can update this soon, it seems to be a great plot!

This is fabulously written! I love the descriptiveness of it amd the all around idea. Can't wait for more!

Oh... yeah I can see the resemblance between this and canon, except for the part in which the other characters actually did something more than just watching. *chuckles* Sorry, it was awesome anyway.

Again and again, I say it, you are unbeaten when it comes to delving into the thoughts of the characters, and now, I can say that it's not just the characters you fancy but those who were almost not of your concern. In 3 chapters alone you managed to get Lucy's character down, both mannerisms and personality and flesh it out perfectly. Yep, I can feel the same annoyance I have when I watch her in canon so that means you did an excellent job. *nods*

Jellal... well, it looks like Jellal alright. Gray too... going all tsundere for a friend/rival. And Erza... yep, strict and following the rules. *thumbs up* Then Natsu... oh boy, Natsu is just the one I was looking forward to the most when I started reading. Hell, he might be the only reason I read this story, aside Jellal... and of course, aside seeing it is a story written by you. *shrugs* Going back to the topic; he's the boss, that much can be said.

Now, let's see if he's a real boss after what will happen in the following chapter.
Saludos.

So the openings are starting to connect into the story a bit; sweet. Now I wonder whether you're going to place new characters directly into the current timeline. Either way, I like where dis is goin'.

Now, I have to give you props for sticking to the original story line where you had Erza and Gray tag along and lead into the battle with the scythe guy (Erigor, I'm assuming?). Personally, I'd describe him more with facial features than clothing because that's naturally how you tell one person from another, but in this case, as long as we're relying on memory and the fact that their outfits don't change that often, his clothing did pin point his features. Back to what I was saying, you've managed to stick to that original path while still making it your own and that's gotta deserve some credit.

The real battle hasn't even started yet, but you still gave a nice visual combat scene. And on top of that, I'm glad that you didn't drag out anything before the important battle begins (Even well-written fights can get tedious to read when they're lined up one after another).

I must admit, I can feel this story pulling me back into liking the NaLu ship... Keep it up!

Nice, please continue!

5words
Natsu beat him to death

This story is amazing and Natsu you described him like a god

*nods* Yes, the chapter was good. *nods* Yes, it was interesting. Nice to see you can explain the characters' POVs this nicely, I barely see it these days with all the world going on a pairing spree. *sighs* I guess that'll be cut short in this story too when the romantic aspect begins to appear more often. Let's take comfort in the fact that you're awesome and will find a way to keep it great despite that... or maybe work a way around it? Or make it look like canon without the need to change anything? Hmmmm... intriguing.

Arite, funniest part? I think it was imagining Lucy being taken down by Erza without the red-head having to break a sweat. *chuckles* You can always count on Lucy to be weak.

Then... the story... not the story in general, I mean that backstory for this AU you created... it is kind of interesting, I wish more details were shown, but I guess we will have to wait for that, ain't that right?

Incendi Square... *chuckles* Where did I hear that before?
Saludos.

Alright, let's does dis! From top to bottom!

From the beginning; that poetic intro probably left people wonder whether this was a poem or a story. Captivating yes and I yearned to read further. Damn, for a moment, Shakespeare flashed through my mind with his world-famous words, Kudos to you for achieving a somewhat similar feeling to others.

Moving on, the middle parts; introductions were in good in place as that what the world looks like. Interesting history behind what happened to Earth Land. Well, aside from that, all other things were introductions between who's who and what's the relation between who and who etc... *nods* I can see relation-ties established between certain people, good. *nods*

Going to the part which actually matters most; The confrontation between Lucy and Bora; I can clearly see canon-elements processed in it, which actually is kinda... hmmm... okay. This could've gone a bit more... original... and I know you could've come with something more thrilling, more enchanting... more Mattish. *nods* but this is merely the intro chapter so nit-picking about it will be undeserved(You asked for criticism and lately I'm acting a bitch, hence why I'm not often around) Next is Natsu's interference with what could've happen(whether rape or enslavement, I can interpret the hidden meaning Bora's action however I want) and the subsequent escape of Lucy. The pinkette saves the day! Good work! *claps* This is the beginning of a development.

Lastly, the class-scene where Natsu makes his debut as the rebellious person he is. Hmmm, he acts kinda like a cynic and apathetic person, not even in the least interest in responsibilities and such. It's like a mixture of IC and OOC, seeing as Natsu is more rebellious in a friendly way. Though, I can see him like this if he had some bad experiences in the past. Perhaps he has... or a tough upbringing, we'll see soon enough.

Alright, let's summarize: decent character-development, good plot with foreboding elements concerning Natsu's past and Lucy's growing intrigue and more. Overall, it's rock-solid and could go very far, even reaching the top of all if you dedicate yourself to this seriously. *nods* Let's see where it ends! We follow your stories for a reason!

Now, it's time for me to go, I'll review the second chapter as soon as possible, which is probably by the night, sorry.

Laterz!

Okay, this was addicting - Seriously. I can't exactly put it into words, but there was something about the chapter that just roped you in and held you by the gonads. You just had to read on the same way Lucy can't resist trailing Natsu. There's just something alluring about the story the same way there's something alluring about Natsu - To Lucy, at least. Reaaally didn't want that coming out the wrong way, y'know?

Anyway, if I had to rate this chapter, I'd give it a solid 10/10.

Bullshit relayed, kthxbai.