Awww I feel so bad for panchito in this chapter. And I started tearing up when he danny boy but it was an awe moment with Panchito and Daisy.

No! Donald can't die! How could Harris do that?!

I absolutely love how you've written this like a noir novel, from describing characters and places with straight hard facts, (no beating around the bush, prostitutes, not ladies of the night,) down to the narrative interlaced with dark tones.

[... a man in his seventies, who had nothing better to do than to buy groceries for his niece, who came every Sunday. Today was Thursday.] I'd personally put a semi-colon in place of the comma after 'niece,' to help with the flow. You have a lot of commas in this sentence. Also I feel the longer pause helps drive the fact that it's a very strange occurrence, but that's just me!

You do such a wonderful job of portraying Harris, I hated him on his introductory sentence. *Laughs* Sign of a good writer, you show more than you tell. Having Donald describe Harris to your readers was rather clever, by having him state his own observations. I really love what you've written here, it's so refreshingly dark for a Disney based story that I can't resist its appeal to my more adult side. Such a contrast to my memories of growing up with these characters.

[The rain made soft conversation with the tin roof of the place...] Loved this line. Just saying. :)

[The rain beat steadily on the roof of his truck, brutally attacking it.] I see what you were trying to do here, but 'steadily' is the wrong word. Describing that the rain is steadily beating down, then to describe that it's brutally attacking his truck doesn't sit right. To brutally attack something, I imagine it to be furious, hard, fast. You may wish to revise this.

[On the eightieth strike of the bell, Harris punched Donald in the groin.] and ["So why did you punch this guy in the face?" Hernandez asked.] Bit contradictory here, I realise that most of us assume that the general punches were thrown as the fight happened but the only glimpse we get is the sentence at the start. Just struck odd to me, perhaps mention the punch thrown to Donald's face for Hernandez to comment on.

Overall, keep going with this. Great work here, and a really enjoyable read. :)

Wow, these chapters were beautiful! I await more of this story!

Why? Why do you make me cry?

"Jose" was better than "Panchito." I liked the different perspective thing but you may want to shorten dialogue that has already been said. Instead use sentences like "He told me about (insert thing here), I personally thought that..." or something along the line of that to prevent the readers from simply skipping over it.

Keep up the good work

Doland, no! I don't like ! I await more!