Review time.

A werewolf in Middle Earth. Makes sense, to say the least. Still, I'd never expect a werewolf to fight Saruman. Not saying that's a bad thing.

The pride of the messenger for riding so far in such a short time to the panic of seeing the full moon is written well. I'm not sure how the messenger never noticed the moon growing every night, but I'm not a werewolf, so I can't judge. The transformation itself is a small sampling of the actual transformation and focuses more on the messenger's mind changing than a wolf growing out of a man. It certainly kept my attention and encouraged me to read on.

Saruman is true to his character. First Gandolf escapes, and now there's a werewolf knocking on his front door? I wouldn't want to be him. The panic that Saruman has seemed unlike him at first, until I realized that Saruman knew he could become a werewolf as well. The fear seemed justified then.

The battle between the White Wizard and the werewolf is impressive. Pacing is spot on, I can follow the actions of each participant, and the fight itself seemed plausible. The aftermath of the battle, however, really caught my attention. You'd think every wizard would have a book filled with cures for deadly or viral diseases (such as lycanthropy), but evil was never really into instruction books and similar manuscripts. The calmness, along with the underlying panic, again captured Saruman as I remember him.

SPAG was impeccable, as I noticed no errors. There were no major or minor issues I had with the story.

I really enjoyed this story. It is well executed, plausible, and overall I enjoyed it. I wish you best of luck to whatever you have in store for the future.

I like how this starts out like a mystery. The audience doesn’t know what’s troubling the rider; the only hints are seeing the moon late at night, and thinking he should have left at night. Obviously he’s worried about some creature getting to his horse, but it’s not clear exactly what is going one or how he knows that something is coming.

/ I felt myself become an abomination./ And then it becomes clear that the narrator is the werewolf.

/ "Speak, you twit!" snapped Saruman, his frustration at losing Gandalf bleeding into his tone/ Really says a lot about Saruman that he lets his anger at losing Gandalf show in his speech to his minions. At least he’s somewhat aware of it, and doesn’t just let his anger out by killing them. I suppose his self-awareness could also be seen as he’s very conscious of his image though.

/ storming past so that his underling couldn't see the fear in his eyes./ Interesting that a Wizard would be afraid of a Werewolf. There’s always the chance he could get bitten though.

/ would suspend the animal long enough for him to get the right metal to finish it./ Looks like Saruman wasn’t thinking clearly if he entered the fight without bringing silver first. Guess it really isn’t his day. Especially when he gets bitten. I really liked reading the descriptive part about the fight with the werewolf.

/ Leave him there, but put him in shade so that he'll revert back to human instead of waking up and going on another rampage."/ Well, that’s good the werewolf didn’t die. Saruman did seem to be almost drawn to it when he was fighting it, marveling over its power when he should have been thinking of fighting strategy. Wonder if he almost subconsciously wanted to get bitten.

/Today there is another werewolf in Middle-Earth, one that roams Fangorn every full moon and terrorizes Isengard. Its pelt is snowy white, bespeckled with black, and its eyes are as dark and glossy as fresh obsidian from the livid volcanoes of Mordor./ Ooh, excellent ending line. Also makes me wonder if Saruman really did want to become a werewolf, since he clearly knew several ways to cure the situation.

Thanks for posting this excellent fic!

Hiya! Congrats on the nomination for best horror! And how chilling this story was! I was practically at the edge of my seat!

I just want to start off on staying what a fascinating idea to introduce werewolves. I never thought someone would do a story like this in LOTR! Very creative. Plus I really like how you started using a first POV by creating the werewolf then moved onto third to get someone else’s narration and perception on the attack.

[Fog step slowed to a walk, his sides heaving under my legs.] I love the concrete detail here and even throughout your story. Plus the additional abstract word here and there really creates the chilling tone all horror stories should have.

[I felt myself become an abomination] I can see the character has accepted himself for who he is. Great depth in the subtext and characterization.

[Hunt. Crush. Kill.] Love the poetic and one worded sentence. It really builds the tension in the scene. Plus it creates power especially throughout the action piece in the next few paragraphs!

[Today there is another werewolf in Middle-Earth…] What a great twist at the end. Makes have a OMG moment and wonder what will happen next!

Great piece and thank you for sharing!

Cheers,
-Sapphire

Hi there and congratulations on your story being nominated for best Horror in the Reviewers Choice Awards over at the Reviews Lounge, Too forum!

I'm not fandom blind at all when it comes to moat anything in the LOTR. That said, I never would have attempted to introduce werewolf lore into the story. This is a really imaginative idea and one that works considering how it's LOTR and magic and myth are a huge part of the stories (talking trees anyone?)

I love how here: ((I should have departed at night a month ago, gotten a good look at the moon before I accepted this foolhardy trophy quest!)) that you forecast something being up. I didn't connect the wolf prints at first and deduce that you were introducing a werewolf in the plot until I read on. Nice use of ambiguity. This keeps the reader guessing about what is happening, makes them want to continue reading even though the truth is that you have given them just enough of the necessary information to have figured out the answer before you reveal it.

What is great about here: ((Even from this far away he could hear its infuriated roars and see the hulking furred creature, silhouetted in the moonlight as it ripped the oncoming bipedal figures to shreds.)) is that you continue the ambiguous nature of the beasts description. At this point I am imagining that this could be anything at all. Werewolf is the last thing that I think about the monster being. That the beast is easily demolishing Saruman's army also goes to showcase the raw power that it possesses. It emphasizes the threat

I also have to say that I love the way you highlight the mentality of the beast here: (...the eyes that knew nothing but three words. Hunt. Crush. Kill.). It emphasizes the instability of the animals mind, the focus upon one thing and and one trying: death.

This: ((Today there is another werewolf in Middle-Earth, one that roams Fangorn every full moon and terrorizes Isengard. Its pelt is snowy white, bespeckled with black, and its eyes are as dark and glossy as fresh obsidian from the livid volcanoes of Mordor.)) is an absolutely fantastic way to twist things. I completely did not expect that this is what you were going to do when everything was said and done. Being that this was Saruman, I anticipated that he'd figure out a way to prevent another werewolf from rising. Very lovely images close this piece out and keep the horror/suspense rolling even with the ending.

Just a suggestion:

((As my vision fogged with red, the last conscious image before my eyes his galloping flanks.))-forgot a "was" after (eyes).

(("Rally the Uruk-Hai." ordered Saruman flatly))-because this is dialogue, you should have a comma instead of the period after (Uruk-Hai).

In all this was a really great piece!

I like the structure/styling of this piece. Opening through the first-person POV of a messenger, who then changes, thus the story changes along with him. The messenger himself is quite interesting, even with our exposure to his thoughts remaining somewhat brief. He considers himself ‘unlearned’ and yet he’s able and willing to speak through metaphors and almost poetic means. [the stars likened themselves unto the shrapnel of a diamond's explosion on a velvety blue canvas. Beautiful to anyone's eyes, even my unlearned ones.] In a few brief moments, we get a clear idea the type of person he is, which provides a sharp contrast to what he will eventually become.

The descriptions of his journey were generally clean, without being too overly mundane. Once the transformation began, I felt ending of this scene was particularly powerful. The shift itself hadn’t yet had a truly physical manifestation aside from adrenaline and nausea, but the mental changes occurring are immediately palpable.

With the scene change to follow Saruman, we seem to leave the messenger’s point of view, but the prose retains an emotional styling. There’s a subjectivity to the narration, and we get a peek into Saruman’s state of mind without him being the narrator.

[The blood in wizard and orc alike ran cold at the next note. A pure, powerful howl, long and clear and primal.] An excellent example of powerful prose. Without dialogue, you were able to tell the reader exactly what was happening, without the need of overly expository descriptions. It suits the style of the story and is very well-written.

There were some lines in the story I felt suffered from some repetition that detracted from the otherwise clean and powerful descriptions. [My gray's gasps came in visible puffs, frosty gray] Here, the use of the word ‘gray’ twice in close proximity. [that something important is to be told if an orc would come all the way up here to tell him something] Here, the use of the ‘something’ twice. In fact, everything after ‘all the way up here’ seems to be a repetition of what came before it.

The descriptions of the wolf’s rampage were well-executed. They possessed a nice blend of vague motions along with straight depictions of its actions. When we finally get closer to the wolf, the readers are afforded a clear picture of the beast. It’s described through both plain and artistic means, giving enough details to form an image, and giving more to keep it an entertaining read.

[Hunt. Crush. Kill.] More powerful prose, delivered with brevity. The following battle between the wolf and Saruman was handled well. The actions are clearly described. The pacing is nice. The descriptions retain the stylings of the rest of the piece. Things don’t become bogged down in the fight, instead, the fight simply builds upon what came before it.

And things certainly didn’t end how I expected them to. An excellent read throughout. Fine work.

What a fascinating idea...werewolves in Middle Earth! I like that you have not told us who the shapeshifter is, just that he is apparently Man and a rider for Denethor.

I love how you have Saruman keeping a hair trigger grasp on his temper after Gandalf escaped and that how you say his blood ran cold at the first howl. Also appreciate how you have him hurry out the door so the orc won't see his fear. Very in character for him.

LOVED the battle scene between Saruman and the wolf...tho I had to LOL a bit at the fact that one of the Uruk-Hai saved his butt in the end w a lucky arrow. I can tell that while Saruman is grateful, he's annoyed too. Very realistic abt whether or not taking a tooth from the wolf would affect the Man.

And ooh I wasn't expecting Saruman to be affected since he wasn't bitten in the traditional sense. Nice twist at the end there!

Alright, very nice. Seriously, this was awesome. The idea alone was great, but how you wrote it, kind of a mix of Tolkien and not, really brought it to life.

I loved your description of the sky, before the messenger turned into the beast. 'the shrapnel of a diamond's explosion on a velvety blue canvas'. It really paints a picture, and it easily makes me think of the sky.

I really liked your description of the battle scene. You didn't overdo it, and it showed me exactly what I needed to see to get an idea of what was happening. My only complaint here is that magic in Middle-earth isn't usually reliant on spells. I don't think he'd need to think of a spell to teleport himself. Although, I did like the use of High Elf as way of incantation.

The only other thing I found wrong with the story was transition from scene to scene. You jumped from the messenger transforming straight to Saruman, and then from Saruman in his tower to telling us that there is a new werewolf. Try adding a linebreak between the scenes to slow the pace. Other than that, I loved it.

Great job!

This is a great little one-shot! Your story does a great job of capturing the style of Tolkien's original, and I enjoyed reading about Saruman as a main character. The idea of the werewolf is an interesting one, and I definitely didn't see the end coming.

“"Rally the Uruk-Hai." ordered Saruman flatly.” This period should be a comma, I think.

Anyway, I loved all the detailed description that you put in this, and the fight scene was very vivid and well-done. Great work!

The scene was beautifully set in the first paragraph (particularly with that line about the narrator's pony's breath). The little details worked well. Saruman came across perfectly: half defecting warlord tiring of his underlings and half mysterious old man.

There were some odd mixes of dialect ("Be I walking... literally all day," "really on a roll," "his new duties as a double-agent," etc.) and some minor grammatical issues ("the last conscious image I saw were").

The terror aroused by the wolf added to the tempo of the story, and the description of the wolf itself was wonderfully detailed ("knew nothing but three words: crush, kill, destroy").

Hi Kinners :) Welcome to the Archives! I wanted to be the first (after darkin, of course) to read and review this lovely addition. My Lord of the Rings canon knowledge mmmyyyy prreeecccciiiooouuusss...which means zilch :) Anyways. ONWARD!

Oh, this opening description of the surroundings is so simple, yet carries such beauty. I especially love the [shrapnel of a diamond's explosion] line; golden stuff right there.

[Feeling the blood pulsing in my temples] - this short paragraph here really stuck out to me because there are a lot of commas all throughout and it seems a little excessive. Maybe something to think about if you ever come back around?

[elderly specimen] - as out of place as I thought this sounded at first, I really grew to like it after a few reads :)

Gosh, this description of the werewolf was so vivid and spot on, especially [pupils dilated] (though I have to say, that casts kind of a scary picture in my head; wide pupils can be something creepy). I also kind of felt some fear myself with this dramatic reveal. If I had a werewolf just coming at me looking like that, I would be freaking out too!

[the beast...the monster] - YMMV, but these two epithets together was a bit of an overkill for me; I would say maybe replace 'the monster' with a simple 'it'?

[corpse] - another YMMV case and you are more than welcome to ignore this, but to me, 'corpse' means that the person/animal in question is dead. Since from what I understand in the narrative, the werewolf isn't dead, why call the body a 'corpse'?

[very bone ached...open veins protested] - OUCH.

Gotta say, I wasn't expecting this ending, but man, I like it! Great way to end this work, dear writer!

Just a quick note on your summary: I really think that it could stand to be spruced up. Not to say that it's bad...but to me, it's not exactly attention-grabbing, either. Think of your summary space as an advertising space for your story. It tells people why they should stop and give your story a peek. The part about this one shot being your favorite work could go in an author's note in the story itself, actually. This work deserves a great pimp and promote in that summary space; just a thought :)

Thank you for sharing this work with us. It was lovely!

Just a disclaimer that I'm fandom blind. I've read a few other LoTR fics, but I've never read the books/seen the films.

With that said, however, I had no trouble understanding this story. You do an excellent job of pulling the reader into the story. Your writing reminds me very much of other LoTR stories I've read, so I daresay that you have mastered the Tolkien technique (even though I've not read these particular books by him). You had some breathtaking descriptions in this, especially in the latter half of the story.

I must admit I've not encountered Saruman very often in the stories I've read; I believe I've only read him in passing. However, I really enjoyed seeing him as more of a main character. I've no idea if werewolves are a canon creature in Tolkien, but seeing as elves and orcs and other monsters were written, it's certainly not out of the question. So even if this isn't quite canon, I'd say you definitely set up a plausible story that I could very well see in Tolkien.

I think one of my favorite lines was this: The blood in wizard and orc alike ran cold at the next note.

It's so simple, yet it clearly conveys several emotions, especially with the primal roar in the next line. It obviously lets us know something is going to happen...something scary, yet amazing.

The battle was so awesomely written. I'm not even sure I can pick out my favorite line...but it was just really well done. I just can't believe no one has even reviewed this because it's so well done! I am totally honored to have been able to read and review this story. And I absolutely loved the twist at the end. That was so good. I wouldn't change a thing about this story. My only regret is that it isn't longer! I really enjoyed this; a well-deserved favorite from me. Well done! :D