So beautiful. I liked it.

I enjoyed reading your story. I think you wrote Marla's reaction and voice very well. And I like the bit of cannon you added onto the authors note. I mean if you're not really listening for the 'my eyes are open' you don't really hear it. I also like how you described the explosion of flames from the building across the street. All in all I really enjoyed this story. Keep up the good work.

Okay I have not seen Fight Club so I'm fandom blind. But this reads like a nice little original story so I enjoyed it regardless :)

it is interesting to find out that this is a woman's POV. She seems almost detached at the beginning, only caring about being manhandled until she sees her friend's bloody body. I wonder what made the goons suddenly let go of her and take off...you don't say which is also intriguing. I like the imagery of the moonlight slowly coming out to reveal Jack's body. Her inner monologue over their past relationship is also extremely intriguing: the guy was obviously an ass, and yet she appreciated that he took the time to care about her.

The last line tying into that is kinda sad...wondering if she'd be worthwhile to anyone else since he had once cared about her.

Nice work! Thanks for trying out my challenge :)