Is it odd that when re-reading this chapter's vision-scene in 2020, I imagine Ancalagon's head as looking like Ghidorah's in 'Godzilla: King of the Monsters'? X)

Fabulous! I love the uses of the speech from Elizabeth the golden age!

this is like the bestttt !
keep up the good work!
onward on the next story!

Interesting development, I'll go read the sequel of this one too !

I love this series! Thank you for bring this cover of I See Fire tomy attention, in return I’d like to bring another cover of this song to yours, look up I See Fire by Celtic woman. Their music style suits the song to a t.

I've enjoyed how you've slowly built him a partner worthy of him. I've enjoyed the way you created a likeable rogue and eventually an antihero in Smaug.

I'm ready for book three now. Got several friends I'm going to have to recommend this trilogy to.

Starting from the mother's mad rant about men, you begin to suffer from too much exposition getting between the lines if dialog so that when you finally read the next line of dialog you feel lost as to wat they are talking about.

That's not something I noticed before so I'm guessing it's from not doing enough polishing of the text of the chapter. I think you know better, based on the book of yours I just read before this one. But just in case you're at a loss as to how to fix it, take another look at the first longer paragraph after the mother begins her rant. First sentence is a line of dialog. Then there's three or four sentences of exposition. you could easily move the first sentence to the end of the paragraph, and restructure the new first sentence. Now the next two lines of dialog are right next to each other and there's no confusion as to what they're talking about. It's a good idea to keep lines of dialog close to each other. I make it a point not to let any more than two sentences to separate any two lines of dialog in my own writing to avoid this.

I found the argument between your two main characters funny and heartbreaking by turns-in other words, your writing was very effective. Maximum Angst is what you need for a good romantic adventure, and Maximum Angst certainly is exactly what you're giving them. All the various characters and their interrelations are coming together wonderfully. Looking forward to all the villains getting their respective come-uppances, the one-heads to learn their lessons, the REAL crisis to reveal itself and everything to start turning toward the home stretch-which I presume will be in book three.

Wonderful work, well done!

I don't need to tell you how wonderful all this continues to be, do I? But as is my picky and critical temperament, I only show up when there is some fault to speak of... I don't much like that about myself...

I see a little confusion regarding some very basic grammar-maybe this is because our language has changed so much in the last few decades, become so much more slovenly and less precise than when I was learning it? You must be the judge, at any rate.

When you write from the stance of past tense being your current reality, as most novelists do, referencing things that happened even FURTHER back in the past calls for *past perfect* tense-or 'had been' instead of simply 'was'. I swear past perfect tense seems to be entirely passing away! And honestly? I blame sites like this, which encourage young people to write before they get a solid hold on basic grammar rules and without a resident educator to point out the errors so you don't all copy each other and start thinking 'shutter' is what you do when you're cold and scared. (You don't; you shudder. Shutter's only a noun and goes on the outside of your windows and get closed at night if you live in France and want our home owners; insurance to pay up when those pesky burglars break in.

Maybe the world has just collectively got tired of rules and precise meanings of things and no longer bothers itself with such things? But honestly, in a world where people fall to the floor outside in the grass and onto the ground when they fall out of bed at night in their own bedrooms, I must confess I no longer know.

I do know something that does seem to have passed away and I wish to campaign for bringing it back is subjunctive voice. When we wish for something that does not currently exist we used to say 'if only I WERE richer, I would do something about that' instead of 'was' or 'had been' (past and past perfect.) I'm crap at explaining grammar rules, but I was taught in one of those schools where religious types in fancy habits did the teaching and I've still got the knuckle scars to prove it, so I had to backwards learn why I expressed myself this way when everyone else around me was saying 'if I was.' Turns out I *was* right, but now I'm apparently merely stilted and old fashioned. And conflicted. So I throw this out for you, who is surely going to be a published author one day if you are not already (and if not, why the hell not?!) for what it is worth.

With thousands of complimentary reviews telling you how great your stories are, I know you don't need me to tell you, but you are, you know. And it's always lovely to hear, innit?

This an insanely good story you've got going here. I see tons of writing talent and hardly any problems at all to complain of in your style, editing, etc. it is all really very polished and professional-a real treat from a site known for hosting everything from talented, budding writers to drivelly, embarrassing, adolescent fantasies with cack-handed attempts at erotica-and emphasis on that last, mostly. But your efforts are truly a breath of fresh air.

I know this has been written a while ago-three years on from my writing this-but I ope you'll still be around to receive this. As I hit this chapter, I for the first time found something I had a little bit of difficuty with, and I thought, just in case you were unaware of it, that I'd mention it.

I am partially blind in one eye now and so am sensitive to the density of text and sometimes have difficulty tracking across a page if paragraphs get unusually dense. Starting with the third paragraph in this chapter I started to encounter some problems tracking across the page as I read along because of the blocky density of the paragraphs.

Now I wouldn't mention this if it weren't something that even people with 20/20 sight also have problems with. It's just much worse if you have issues with your eyesight. But there are several really dense paragraphs with a lot of exposition in them that I fought not to just give up on and skip-and I *really* didn't want to skip or miss any of this! So Maybe, in whatever you are writing these days you might have a care for those of us who's eyes are a bit wonky and please break up those dense paragraphs a little more, I'd be really grateful.

Other than that many praises and just keep doing what you do so well!

Gosh dang that pisses me off. Why is Kathryn ALWAYS freaking bleeding? Or always in pain? Or always crying!? And why is magic always tearing her apart? Cant she be, like imune to it already? Let's take Fenkil for instance. That dude can take a hit and keep on coming! Why cant she be like him? The guy gets beaten up how many times in this chapter? And then he just disappears willy nilly to fight another day when Kathryn and Smaug are both dying...again. Gosh. It's dumb. I hate reading chapter after chapter after chapter of how Kathryn keeps getting taken advantage of. And on the rare chapter that she DOES stand up for herself, she ends up "fainting from too much magic".Am I wrong? Seriously! Always L.P.. Even when she stood up to Smaug and saved the elf (forgot how to spell his name) she ended up passing out from using too much magic to be a dragon. Freaking annoying! Stop fainting! Stop bleeding!
Besides that, I love this story very much. Carry on! _

Not Freyja! Noooooo! XO While its better than him sleeping with the girl, its so horrific! Kathryn BETTER leave him. She needs to find Gandolf and Elrond. And she needs to sever the magical tie with Smaug so she can grow old with the elf _ It doesnt matter if you love a monster or not. You have to let them go, otherwise you become a monster for simply being with one

Oops. I pushed "send" before finishing what i was writing. Anyways, what I was saying was:

level 1: Its biologically impossible for a human to mate with a dragon (and im going to be very blunt here) their pênis is too big. (I mean duh).

Level 2: Why would she want to put herself and her DAUGHTER at risk for being eaten? I mean, this is SMAUG we're taking about. This isnt Spyro the dragon. He's not even remotely friendly. In fact, I felt nauseus from the last book when he squished a woman to a pulp in his hand and burned another alive JUST because they werent Kathryn.

Level 3: What made her even THINK that he would be willing to TRY? I mean, yeah its a nice jewel she would offer him, but wouldnt he have been (oh I dont know) offended by her audacity? More likely kill her and take the jewel anyways. He hadnt tried to mate with Kathryn (except for that one dream incident) and he was in love with her! So why would she think he'd be willing to get laid with some little 14 year old nobody?

Level 4: Why would she want her daughter to mate with a cruel and murderous monster? I mean, I like the Smaug and Kathryn thing. But thats because he's a better dragon with her around. But this Andreya doesnt know that. She only knows rumors. So shes willing to ruin her daughters life for power. Bad momma.

Level 5: There must have been a VERY LOGICAL reason Andreya even thought is was possible with all the levels I mentioned above. (If theres not a good explanation, Im going to be livid). Because if she just woke up one day thinking that she was going to go wake up a sleeping dragon, offer her daughter's virginity, and that Smaug wouldnt at her... Im suprised she's lived this long on Middle Earth instead of dying because of her stupidity. Its about as logical as going up to a Belrog and trying to get a kid out of him...do you see where Im going with this? (But, to be fair, if she was looking for power, a belrog is more powerful than a dragon according to canon.)

Anyways! I am looking forward to the story and I hope Im not disapointed! Also, I hope that something happens to Andreya and she dies so I dont have to arrive at a scene as creepy as what she suggested _.

Hey there! I loved your story Heart of Fire! Im confused though because you said that the next book would be "heart of the inferno" but this one is called "heart of ashes" (I thinkheart of the inferno sounds way cooler lol)

Im so excited to read this! But Im going to be honest, I dont like Andreya and it doesnt make sense that she wanted Smaug to "impregnante her daughter" -_- I mean...really? That doesnt make sense on sooooo many levels!
1 level- how can a dragon mate with a human? Its biologically impossible since (

Again with the making me cry! I have now finished the second, on to the third! I know it is incomplete, however I'm super excited to read it. I love that Kathryn has a dragon form! I'm also hoping to see more of it, of them together in both forms, flying, dozing in the sun, hunting food, etc.

I am officially tired of her running away. seriously! she is so wishy washy! sometimes she excepts the fact he is a DRAGON that kills and says she loves him but the second they can actually be together she steps on his heart and rejects him! I sorta hate her. She expects him to act like a human male only when it suites her. She is super manipulative! He literally escaped death and crossed countries to get to her and then also brought he back from the brink of oblivion. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT GIRL? I am almost ready to stop reading this fanfic. getting frustrated