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This one, I'm afraid, I'm sort of fandom-blind . . . I saw the remake movie. From it, I at least know the terms, so I'm hoping my not having read the book won't matter for this short piece.

So, just as a random thought, I am completely creeped out by the first two paragraphs when placed next to each other. In a good way. I want to keep reading to find out how these two things - charity, especially that in the form of help for [animals who need care. Attention. Love.], and the use of the "her" pronoun which isn't usually used on animals in fiction, and the [gasp as the light leaves her eyes] which is a very definite human thing (the gasp, I mean) relate to each other. It's like the story is presenting night and day to me and is waiting for me to find the connection in either dawn or twilight.

I do think it a little strange that "Save the Trees" was included, since trees aren't animals like whales or tigers. Especially since the same paragraph goes on to present the argument about predators and prey, and one further down answers with "cuteness." Are trees cute? Do they play a part in [domestic evolution, of the extinction of species with particularly beautiful coats]? (Ah, that's really nitpicky, sorry. I'm trying.)

Oh, gosh, but then we move on from "beautiful coats" to how [The shining blond hair only gets in the way as they try to get at the neck, the shoulders.] *cringes* It's so factual, so brutal, so primal, and it's a human girl we're talking about as if she's . . . well, as if she's a whale to whatever it is that's eating her. (The story doesn't say, so I'm not, either.)

[After all, how do we really measure intelligence?] Who is the "we" here? Up until now, the narrative has been objective. I think that's the word I want.

Oh, but I do like how the POV becomes clear in the last bit of italics, that it's one of the feeding things that takes over the narrative in a more direct manner. Somehow, this device has made me hope that he survives. (ACK!) What a neat twisting of perspective this piece is!

~ Anne

Hi, found this story in the TRLt archive.

In H.G. Wells's Time Machine, the Morlocks are powerful, ugly, and despised, while the Eloi are weak, beautiful, and relatable. Kudos for presenting the Morlock point of view, as well as deconstructing the idea that the Morlocks are ugly by some absolute standard (which isn't really textual, but implied in your "cover art:" which leads to an interesting question of how one's cover art affects interpretation of the text.)

Like your Oz story, Cross of Gold, this one also delves into the social questions which Wells addressed in canon, including the troubled class and economic issues of miners and other working people evolving into cannibals who predated on the descendants of the effete upper classes.

Some of the narration was ambiguous; perhaps intentionally so? I was pretty confident that the italicized portions described the Morlock point of view.

I wasn't so sure about the "main" narration, though. At first I thought it showed the point of view of the Time Traveler, but if that was the case, I couldn't imagine the Time Traveler remaining so calm or objective if he actually witnessed the Morlocks in action.

The meditative, thoughtful tone of the main narration worked better for me as a voice-over, like Ben Kingsley narrating a nature show, while viewers watched the Morlock bring down his Eloi prey.

The final line undercuts that interpretation, of course, because we see that the Morlock does have a sentient inner life; that is, he prays.

Again, like Cross of Gold, this was a fascinating and in my view successful attempt to draw out and make plain the social-issue subtext in the canon. I also admire your minimalism in making this story work with very slim wordage.

Hi hi EE! This is sure an interesting concept and story you have here. It really tells us what society has come to in the last hundred years with pushing away disgusting species such as spiders and destroying the planet and trying to become "green" and like the story said, "save the...". However, as much as I love the environment and sustainability, I am fandom-blind.

[Her neck cracks on the first try, allowing an almost painless death.] -Dark line right here, it gives the sense of hopelessness and cruelty. I have no idea what has happened to her, but I am to assume it's nature or some natural cause that has landed her in death.

[The faint scent of the fields above still clings to her skin.]- Good use of sensory detail here. It tells us the place of the setting of the story where the death was.

[Are we playing God, deciding which species to save and which to abhor?] - This is a very good question, but all species have a role in the food chain. If one species, like the mosquito was to suddenly disappear then the bats would have nothing. Something so tiny might not look so significant, but it will really have a big impact on the eco-system they live in.

[They pick slim strains out of their teeth, irritated.] - I feel as though, since you do seem to be 'showing' the story through the italics, you could've shown 'irritated' through a 'showing' style. It would give the readers a better perspective of the emotion.

I really don't know what POV this story is in. I was a bit confused in that area. It could be first, using a stream of consciousness style through the narrator, but it could also be in third, using omniscient, or it could be in second with your use of "we" a few times in the story. In that case, if it was third, I did find narration a bit 'tell-y'.

However, you rose an interesting topic and this kind of stuff is what geographers and environmentalist love to debate about. It's very well-written and flows very smoothly. Great job, EE!

Cheers,
-Sapphire

First off, I love the idea behind this story - I always wondered how the Morlocks thought about themselves, given their clear intelligence, and justified their behavior to themselves. It seems here that their primary justification for their hunting of the Eloi is that they are merely acting out their role in nature: "the predators and the prey are equally important..." The italicized lines are a nice contrast, juxtaposing the Morlocks' logical, reasoned arguments with the consumption of one of the Eloi, the very act that they are justifying. You do a great job with how the Eloi flesh tastes to the Morlocks: "...chewy in its fuzziness".

Their perspective is appropriately alien, and I like how they also seem to have surviving memories of their history as humans. Their attitude toward the Eloi is ultimately very human, too - they see them as a product, not things to get attached to or sentimental around. The Morlock narrator's note that "cute" animals like housecats can be ultimately destructive and "ugly" animals like reptiles are essential to the environment, and their suffering and dying is every bit as real as the more "cute" animals. The difference is in who gets sympathy from humans, not which is ultimately better.

It's interesting to see who I assume is the Time Traveler himself appear at the closing lines. His description as a "strange monster" was an intriguing choice, since that's exactly how he sees them at the same time in his own narrative. The parallel between the two, each side shocked and horrified by the other, is a striking image. It makes the Morlocks' later pursuit of him more understandable from their point of view, since from their perspective he's a terrifying monster who barged into their home and blinded them without provocation while "preparing to attack".

Great work - I really enjoyed this story, and you did an excellent job expanding on the Morlocks.

Hey there! Just a brief disclaimer that I'm going into this one pretty much completely fandom blind as it's been a very long time since I've read this book. :)

Woah, right off the bat, the two voices with the conflicting narratives just hits you in the face and leaves you breathless. I love the contrast between the calm, thoughtful, formal contemplation and then the Italicized violence. It's quick and effective, and leaves you wondering what in the world just happened with two narratives that are seemingly unconnected, and yet obviously intertwined. I love how this works as a hook. Very beautiful, stylistically, as you can handle both styles very well. Definitely draws me in and makes me want more straight off.

It's definitely extremely thought provoking to see these two intertwining ideas. There's a lot of truth in what you say about cuteness being a huge factor for what makes us care and not care about various causes. It's a difficult truth to swallow, particularly when you're seeing a very misunderstood culture in the background. I could totally see this as a short film, just seeing contrasting views of what we should be caring about and why. And it's scary to think about it. But that is exactly what you're forcing us to do, and you're doing it so well.

I don't have to know anything about the Morlocks to understand what you're talking about here and where you're coming from. It's all vivid, concrete imagery and haunting eyes looking up at us and daring us to concentrate on all of it. And leaving us with the idea of playing God... chilling.

This is the kind of concept that transcends fandom; you've really done a fantastic job showing this. I really enjoyed this one, and it's one I'll be thinking about for quite a while. Very well done and good luck on future projects!

Cheers, dearie!

Hi! For starters, I'm fandom blind, but I don't think it'll hinder my understanding of this fic.

This is thought-provoking. I like how you address why something like 'Save the -' groups exist here, along with animal shelters, vet, etc. It's true: cuteness. Appearance is the reason why we keep a pet/build shelters for the animals. As a person who has sugar gliders, this makes me think. Sugar gliders are cute, which is the reason why I keep them (although they are spoiled brats who know nothing other than eating). However, other animals (especially insects) like ants don't have such cuteness, which is why I don't care about them (although they help fending off termite).

The italicized parts make me feel for the ugly ones (I'm assuming that they are about the ugly Morlocks). Nobody cares for them because they're ugly, and even when they are in danger and are going to die, nobody cares.

Also, I find that the usage of 'we' to address the audience works very well because the topic is general truth. The fluency of the writing makes it even more effective. At this, I'm thinking that this fic itself is like an oration to the readers about why we keep and ignore certain animals.

I enjoyed this fic. Great work!

Hi, again!

Well, it's been a bit since I've read the Time Machine, but I remember it pretty clearly. And yes to Blobfish! What interesting little critters. haha

The juxtaposition here is interesting. What you've given us is a story of the Morlocks eating an Eloi and from what I can assume at the end is the traveler coming upon them to take back his machine. Of course, this isn't all there is to it, you've woven this throughout an essay-esque inquiry into why humans feel the need to protect one species and yet abhor another.

You are comparing the Eloi to the pets that have been bred to be docile, they're cute, harmless, and the Morlocks to the creatures like spiders, and amphibians, and asking why should humans have judgment over what is worth protecting; why should humans decide what is desirable and what is abhorrent? And it is a very pertinent and difficult question to answer.

I like the small insight you give into the Morlock's mind; the confusion he experiences upon seeing the traveler. For the Morlock to view the human as a monster is interesting as well and makes the point that all things are relative. Something that is deemed ugly by humans is not to itself ugly, it merely exists and does what it needs to survive.

I really enjoyed this, and it gave me something to think about. Once again great work!

Hi EE! Sorry to say that I'm pretty canon-blind but I shall certainly do my best for ya!

I really like this opening hook of [there are very few] because it is so true. It is a normal human emotion to want to be needed and to feel satisfaction from giving to a need. And it is true that one of the easiest ways to do this in this day and age is to donate to charities that help animals.

[Her neck cracks] and suddenly I am quite worried now as to what is happening.

[...does it matter to us?] You know, that's an interesting question. Why DO we strive to save these different animals if they're needed to keep the ecosystem going? Huh. Now you got me thinking about it. And also, you really have me thinking about [human sympathy is often driven] coupled along with [the cute ones may be the ones that need protection the least]. It's those 'ugly' animals, those ones that live in shadows that may need someone to advocate for them the most. It's like with humans. We advocate for babies and children all the time and of course they need protection and care, but what of their opposite: the elderly? Who will advocate and speak up for them when the time is needed? Wow. Deeeeeeep stuff here EE, with all these connections you're making.

Not really sure what happened at the end, but I really like how it all ends like with a flash of light - as though blinding out what is there. I'm impressed with how in such a small amounts of words, you caused me to think and reason so much. I haven't had a story do this to me in a long time, so take that as my way of saying you did a fantastic job here :)

Thank you for writing this, EE! I'll see you later!

Just a small disclaimer that I'm fandom blind, but that didn't impede my understanding. Also, I love the story cover and the explanation of that in your summary. It was extremely fitting for this story.

I honestly adore the food for thought you've given in this. I don't know the premise of the book and if these themes are brought out, but you've made some very powerful statements in this. Not only that, you really need to wonder if it's true. is cuteness a factor in compulsion to want to help an animal in need? Possibly, considering some of the ugliest and nefarious-looking animals have already gone extinct.

And the ugly ones need protection too, as you point out, whereas the cute ones are doing just fine and need little protection. Not only that, the way an animal looks doesn't necessarily mean it's not dangerous. I've seen many a 'cute' animal killing a human on the news over and over again. Sometimes, it's the ugly ones that are the least dangerous.

Your statements coupled with the death and carnage of what I assume to be the Morlocks mentioned in your summary was a really eye-opening scenario. The ethics you bring into play is quite a powerful message, and you've used a great many arguments used by animal rights activists for years.

At the very end, I'm going to assume it's another Morlock attacking? I hope I got that right; and if so, how very ironic that the hunter becomes the hunted. However, since one wants to root for the Morlocks here, it feels like justice has been done.

This was quite a powerful and thought-provoking piece. Well done! :)

One little thing:

species?After-The site seems to have eaten your space: species? After

Hi! Just as an FYI, I'm canon blind, but I'll do my best :)

Loved the Blobfish (I recognised it from elsewhere on the 'net.) I think though that the information you've given about it and the "wow, that was dark" would be best as an A/N, though I really appreciated the warning given in the summary.

The clinical prose interspersed with the raw sensory details in italics is a really good technique, though it comes with the unfortunate result that the opener is the dry, clinical part, not the wonder "her neck cracks..." I felt that would make a better opener, though you'd lose the back-and-forth you've set up.

"Cuteness" - I'm wondering if you've seen the same skits I have on this. "I'm a cow!" "GET IN THE TRUCK." It's true, though. We save dolphins and chimps and koalas and so on because they look good.

Mind you, I still think the blobfish is adorable.

The non-italicised sections become increasingly anvilicious to me, which creates an odd information overload of making the same point twice - once using rhetoric (non-italics) and one using emotive writing (italics.) I felt that the former could be pulled back slightly and let the latter do the job, but that's a personal preference.

Thanks for writing x

. for Request a Review . . Fandom-blind .
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It's an interesting concept you've got here- I like that your summary gives the reader an important question, and I like how it relates a lot to social stuff in real life- to the way we tend to judge personality and such a lot on what we see. The way you really 'speak' to the reader here works very well, because virtually everyone feels sympathy when they see the poor, dying, fluffy animals on advertisements; everyone wants to try and give to charity, but then the less beautiful of species are sometimes overlooked. I'm assuming the Morlocks are the ones present in the italicised sections. I love that there's small parts of the Morlocks spread in between the story, as if they're the ones that often get left out, overpowered by the apparent innocence of the Eloi. The italics give it a sort of 'quieter' tone as you read, as if they are sort of 'left out', forgotten and despised. The word choices you use in their sections work very well- the 'crack' of the neck, the picking of strands out of their teeth, the 'sweet' first bite. You make them look animalistic, cruel, with no moral compass- and that's exactly how everyone else sees them. Sort of like unreliable narration- you can only base your opinion of them on what you see, but we don't bear in mind what these individuals are really like.

The way you relate the creatures/races to the treatment of real-world animals makes it more effective and dramatic, I think, since we've got something we can relate to, and so it sets up an accurate comparison. ' And- but of course, they're cute'- I found this line powerful. Whilst the narrator speaks of the potential dangers of commonly-loved animals, they are cut off by the typical defence in that they're 'cute'. I found the reference to 'playing God' powerful, as in the terms of cloning and such it's seen as a negative and very controversial thing, and so the comparison to the 'cuteness' outlook with a controversial topic adds a dramatic tone, even more so since it is kind of like playing God. Great work!
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Critique/suggestions:
. [Only minor]
( Her neck cracks...shining blond) If still referring to the female victim, 'blond', when referring to women, has an 'e' on the end : )
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I was impressed by this. You did well to make the reader think about their stance on the subject, about whether we should ignore creatures that aren't beautiful, but are still in danger. I like that you portrayed the Morlocks as vile and horrid, as that is the only side of them most people see, and so that's the only side the reader sees here as well, although there's more to them than meets the eye. Nice idea for a fic, and I enjoyed reading it. Keep up the good work. :)