If you wonder why most fanfiction stories and the way yours did you try to be too creative and to step too far outside the original character too 00C to be believable future fanfiction writers want to learn how not to buy fanfiction just tune to these stories this had amazing potential to be a great story unfortunately he lost track was towards the end of it and this is the fate of most fanfiction writing on this site sadly enough please none of the individuals come on here do it because they want to buy a nice story they want to do it to self insert their own self fulfilling fantasies this is not what the site was meant to be for and the site has lost its purpose and intent for fanfiction writing and the rest of these writers of the rest of them a bad name and the intent behind the creator of this site

I agree with Ricardo somewhat about the genjutsu as the Kyuubi chakra should completely disperse the Genjutsu as the eye reflection technique should only work when he is prepared for it. Also, him being a sensor kinda makes Danzo capturing him stupid and nonsense so I would say except for the last few chapters with root I would give it a 9/10 but with root, it dropped to like 5-6/10 also shouldn't they suspect Danzo at this point already with his history, but other than that I do hope you continue.

I dont care what anyone thinks that bloodline is fucking awesome, I screamed when I realized what it was

It is a good story, I hope you continue soon, a greeting, see you bye!

I enjoyed the story up until he was captured by root I don’t hate it because of the angst or drama but because it made no sense whatsoever for naruto to be captured so easily. The very fact he is a sensor even more so that he can sense negative emotions means he should have seen them easily and he a and Haku would have easily fought away Danzo root. Danzo using shisui eye wouldn’t have worked since you made it clear I’m your story naruto can reflect genjustu. You honestly need to rewrite the last 4 chapters since you seem to have lost your logical side sorry.

Aww man. Such an amazing story and left on such a cliff hanger as well. I had a really fun time reading this and I really do hope that you pick it up again. Adding to favorites Ja Ne~~~

I don't get how he's mimicking Madara, but okay. Though I'm definitely loving the story so far. Good story and good comedy. The romance is cliché, but that's also what makes it funny. XD

Someone is gonna need to kill that old war hawk so he doesn't try to get his hands on the Ice Kekkei Genkai female... Grrr...
Other than that, this seems like it may be an interesting story. Though, I dislike how you made Zabuza seem even harder and as if he didn't actually care for Haku. Or, at least implied it anyway. But eh.

In my opinion, I really liked this story, up until Naruto was captured by Root. However, at the end of the day you are the author and you are free to do whatever you want with the story you created.

My problem, however, lies with how Naruto got captured in the first place by Danzo, considering all the abilities you’ve given him. There should be no possible way for Danzo to just influence him so easily. In my personal opinion, here’s what I think what should have happened.

As you stated Naruto’s Negative Emotions Sensing Ability is a passive ability meaning he always has it on. Meaning when he’s in a clearing with just him and Haku, he should have sensed the negative emotions coming from Danzo and potentially his Root. Once he’s aware of other people approaching the clearing he would have used his chakra sensing abilities to discern how many potential threats there would be. This would lead to him finding out about Danzo’s sharingan eye so he would instinctively use his Shōton to cover his eyes like what he did with Itachi. He could probably have Haku do the same thing with her Hyōton. Anyways, considering that this worked against Itachi’s Tsukuyomi then Kotoamatsukami wouldn’t have worked either since it also requires eye contact to use. Thus the genjutsu would fail and then all Naruto and Haku need to do is fight off Danzo and his Root agents or retreat back to the village.

There were also small things that bothered me like Orochimaru giving Naruto the cursed seal. Orochimaru is a genius so he should have found out that Kurama would just remove any unknown threats within his host i.e. Orochimaru’s soul. Even so, it was entirely pointless as a power up considering he can just go initial state without drawbacks and that’s just as powerful as the first part of the cursed seal.

Considering how long since you’ve updated this fic, I can assume you have no plans to continue doing so. Anyways, I just wanted to let you know what I thought. I seriously enjoyed reading this until the complete 180 where Naruto believes that he killed Haku and is captured by Root.

I think you need earth water and lightning for crystal release. Not wind. Crystal release is a mix of three elements. Not like the more common mixture of two elements. Hmm...

Yeah badass madara isfamous for everything he does

WHY the Danzo bullshit everyone fucking does it can we not have one Naruto fanfiction when Naruto meets a cute girl gets into a relationship, kills Akatsuki and wipes out orochimaru and Obito/Madara without Danzo deciding to get involved. I'm gonna be Frank here and say im a little dissapointed with this

This sucks

Was going great until you let donzo have Naruto and I lost all interest. But hey it's not like you are going to finish the story anyway.

I don't know why everyone seems to insist on using "sochi" or "socchi" for son instead of "musuko."
There's no source saying that "sochi" means son, and it breaks the flow from my reading for me because of the cringe.