Profile Updated: April 2, 2011.

Asking me to be your Editor/Beta/Whatever-You-Call-It-Now means all of the following:

I will not coddle you.

I will not bend over backwards to make you like me.

I will not praise your story and tell you how much people will love it.

I will not tolerate whining and complaining.

I will not hesitate to tell you why your story sucks.

I will not read your draft if it looks like you didn't edit it yourself first.

And above all, I will not accept anything less than formality and respect from you.

I WILL read your story unbiased.

I WILL tell you what, if anything, is good about it.

I WILL offer suggestions to make it possibly better.

I WILL help you beat your story with a stick and iron out the discrepancies.

I am a very nice person, but I am not a very nice editor.

I can restrain myself from drinking more than seven litres of Minute Maid a week.

I love Minute Maid too much.

Minute Maid Pure Squeeze is best. Much better than her Concentrate sibling.

1. No cross-overs.

2. No excessive or graphic gore.

3. No R/NC-17 rating.

4. No satire.

5. No Mary Sues. (*Otherwise he/she better be a pretty damned good one.)

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