valerie.a.r.k
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 11-06-15, id: 7270127, Profile Updated: 09-23-17
Author has written 6 stories for Harry Potter.

hey, I'm Valerie.

AND I LOVE READING

(and watching movies of course)

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile.

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm BLACK so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a ditz.

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I don't believe in God so I MUST be evil and should be ashamed.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store or a petrol station.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...

I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob

I WEAR SOME BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF FRIENDS WHO ARE GIRLS, so I MUST be a player.

I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN, so I MUST be lazy.

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.

I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction

I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude.

I'm STRAIGHT EDGE, so I must be violent

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm a SKATER so I MUST do weed and steal stuff.

I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks.

I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self-control.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie Hollister

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.

I'm PAN, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have small nuts.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I don't like the SUN, so I MUST be an albino.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I couldn't hurt a fly So I MUST be a pussy.

I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.

I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.

I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.

I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.

I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse.

I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist.

I’m a CROSS DRESSER, so I must be homosexual.

I draw ANIME, so I MUST be a freak.

I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep.

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.

I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.

I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and be A MURDERER!

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future

I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE.

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.

I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.

I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan.

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.

I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.

I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.

I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.

I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid

I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos.

I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.

I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.

I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be a Lesbian.

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.

I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.

I write Fanfics, so I MUST be a freak!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

In Which Not So First Introductions Are Made by warrior of the nile reviews
Alternatively: How To Introduce Your Boyfriend To Your Parents When You Are Already Sure They Hate Him. It is time for Draco to tell his parents that he is dating Harry. Neither are feeling terribly optimistic about it. Now ft breaking the news to Ron (Harry is equally as optimistic about this as well) and the wedding.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,576 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 256 - Follows: 75 - Updated: 3/5/2017 - Published: 10/15/2016 - [Harry P., Draco M.] [Lucius M., Narcissa M.] - Complete
A Test in Time by FanOfTheWrittenArt reviews
Magnus has never messed up a portal..except for that one time. What happens when Magnus accidentally sends his friends from the London institute, to the New York Institute two-hundred years in the future. It's a good thing Magnus has friends at that institute too Will they be able to help in times that are a little more than troubling? What happened to Clary? Set after CoHF and CP2
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 7 - Words: 18,678 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 115 - Updated: 9/24/2016 - Published: 1/20/2016 - Clary F., Jace W., Tessa G., B. Zachariah
The lost scene by sebastian ebner reviews
You felt the connection, which goes beyond friendship, between Albus and Scorpius too? You think they belong together? And you just don't get why Scorpius asked Rose out, although he is in love with Albus? Here is an explanation.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,016 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 7 - Published: 8/24/2016 - Albus S. P., Scorpius M., Rose W. - Complete
Angel's Treasure by MsAlexisCriss reviews
Alec and Magnus's paths cross when they have to join forces to rescue Jace. What do a pirate and the son of an aristocrat have in common? Everything. Navigating mysterious waters, uncovering ancient secrets, and chasing maddened pirates, Magnus and Alec will discover that every storm can be weather if you just have the right person by your side.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 88,838 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 126 - Follows: 75 - Updated: 8/12/2016 - Published: 6/3/2016 - Alec L., Magnus B. - Complete
Tell Them by isaacswolfsbane reviews
Almost a year after starting his relationship with Scorpius, Albus still hasn't told his parents that he's gay, so Scorpius decides it's time to convince him to come out.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,242 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 18 - Published: 6/9/2016 - [Albus S. P., Scorpius M.] Ginny W., Lily Luna P. - Complete
Just a Touch-Up by FlamingAshes reviews
Clary had always liked her hair. Curly strands of fire were what she wore best. But a bit of alcohol could loosen anyone's opinion. One-shot.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,434 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 10 - Published: 5/22/2016 - Alec L., Clary F., Jace W., Magnus B. - Complete
Last Christmas I Gave You My Heart by Juliet's Shadow reviews
When Annie came home from college after an unremarkable semester, she didn't expect to meet Finnick Odair. She couldn't imagine the way being with him that Christmas Season would change her life forever. Modern Day. One chapter published a day until Christmas! Happy Holidays everyone!
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 9 - Words: 12,915 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 12/21/2015 - Published: 12/14/2015 - [Annie C., Finnick O.] Gale H., Peeta M.
The Blindfold by ArtemisFAYZ012 reviews
Malec two-shot. Two chapter story of Malec cuteness. Alec loses a fight to Jace and must suffer Jaces wrath by wearing a blindfold for 24 hours. Which my sound silly but those 24 hours and the day that followed changed the course of Alecs life... All for the better of course.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,619 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 140 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 8/21/2015 - Published: 8/20/2015 - [Alec L., Magnus B.] - Complete
Wingless Angel by NadiaInklover reviews
Magnus Bane's life has been far from easy...thing after thing had left him broken and defeated with no hope of something better coming...except certain Angel's videos who once saved his life and continues to encourage him of moving forward...so, when Magnus's Angel moves closer to him...will Magnus meet his savior and thank him for what he's done? Malec. Human AU.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 50 - Words: 99,843 - Reviews: 781 - Favs: 363 - Follows: 320 - Updated: 6/21/2015 - Published: 5/4/2014 - Alec L., Magnus B. - Complete
Across the Universe Book 1: Pieces of Destiny by AngelDesaray reviews
Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Padme did not expect to find themselves in an entirely new Galaxy. All they knew was they saw something strange in a reflection. Now they're being told their lives are a movie and they're on some planet called Earth. Will they be able to get back to their own Galaxy? And will Aria, the girl helping them, be able to find a new life with them?
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 19 - Words: 73,920 - Reviews: 387 - Favs: 450 - Follows: 268 - Updated: 5/27/2015 - Published: 11/21/2014 - Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan K., Padmé Amidala, OC - Complete
Signs and Soulmarks by Someone aka Me reviews
Alec has never spoken a word. He can't. In a world where soulmates are connected by Soulmarks that show the first words the other will say to them, he wonders what this means for his soulmate. Malec.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,874 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 347 - Follows: 80 - Published: 3/31/2015 - [Alec L., Magnus B.] - Complete
Prestigious by NadiaInklover reviews
Magnus Bane, fashion designer and owner of the most wanted fashion magazine is looking for a new photographer. Alec Lightwood, internet sensation for his photography blog is looking to take his work to another level. What happens when both worlds collide? can they make it work and reach what they want? All Human.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 45 - Words: 99,915 - Reviews: 719 - Favs: 649 - Follows: 530 - Updated: 5/2/2014 - Published: 6/26/2013 - Alec L., Magnus B. - Complete
Suffer in Silence by ForeverYoung362 reviews
Genesis Howard is a 17-year-old girl from District 7 with a tough life. When she's reaped for the 71st Hunger Games with her 14-year-old brother Jaka, she's willing to die to allow him to go home. But will she be able to protect her younger brother from the arena, or will they both perish? And what of the handsome Jared from District 2? My first fanfic!
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Family - Chapters: 24 - Words: 64,979 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 2/2/2014 - Published: 8/27/2013 - Other tributes, OC - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

A (not so starry) night reviews
Remus's first night at Hogwarts
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 564 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/23/2017 - Sirius B., Remus L., James P., Peter P.
Alone reviews
What happens directly after Sirius is kicked out. Angst. Mild cursing.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 546 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/5/2017 - Sirius B., Regulus B., Orion B., Walburga B. - Complete
love is a struggle reviews
Rose Weasley arrives at Hogwarts for her first year together with her best friend/cousin Albus Severus Potter. On the train she meets a very mysterious pale boy, who turns out to be Scorpius Malfoy the son of Draco Malfoy... I have abandoned this story, but it's up for adoption
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 10,049 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 11/2/2016 - Published: 1/26/2016 - Albus S. P., Scorpius M., Rose W., Lily Luna P.
Changes reviews
It's about Teddy Lupin, it's a one-shot, that's all you need to know about it.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 354 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 11/2/2016
Remedy reviews
After Ted Lupin's parents die in a shooting he's willing to do everything it takes to find the murderer and have his revenge. So when a group of mutants approaches him, saying they know the person responsible for his parents' murder, he doesn't need to think twice before joining them. Mutant AU rated T because I'm careful.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,973 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 10/18/2016 - Published: 9/21/2016 - Teddy L., Victoire W.
Teddy Lupin- one shot
I'm really sorry for not updating love is a struggle for so long, I have a writing block at the moment. I hope you enjoy this little one-shot and review if you want more
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 259 - Published: 2/11/2016 - George W., Teddy L. - Complete