Lena: Gomen gomen gomen gomeeeeen! I had writer's block plus a lot of homework from this crazy summer program I'm going to (that is seriously ruining my whole summer) and I couldn't write this at aaaaalll! GOMEN! ;_; I hope you like the chapter anyway, I'm sorry for the long wait.

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I had cried myself to sleep that night.

Ryouta's pained expression just wouldn't leave me be. It was like it was painted across my eyelids, haunting me. The time in that closet with my brother that I had tried so hard to forget was coming back in wisps and pieces through my dreams, and Ikuto's words were playing through my mind the whole time, resulting into me having second thoughts about Ryouta.

You should break up with him...There are better people out there...Ones who would treasure you...

I saw his face hovering above me, his lips moving as he spoke those few words, and, without giving me any time to understand the meaning behind them, his mouth pressing onto mine. And then came Ryouta, his gentle expression, and that soft kiss he had planted on my forehead before pulling me closer into a gentle one on the lips. Those two memories seemed to be combined into one, both of them switching and alternating in my dreams. My mind couldn't help but compare them and wish for the other when one was in progress, but it was never clear to me which one I truly wanted.

This hardship only entered my thoughts at night, though, in my dreams, when my mind brought the questions stuffed at the very back of it to life. It made me fear sleep, for this was not a problem when I was awake and telling myself I loved Ryouta was normal and easy to believe when I was conscious, but my sureness always faded once consciousness left me.

The feelings that rose when Ryouta had kissed me came back to haunt me every night, the feelings that told me the action was wrong, that I didn't want it even though a part of me told me I did. Yet it was strange for me not to love the man, as he was definitely one of the kindest and sweetest I had met.

Maybe I just didn't like kissing, maybe I just wasn't ready. My first kiss had only been taken a few days ago, and I had been agonizing over it as I had wanted to save my first for someone I really loved.

Had that action broken me?

I was feeling guilty. That was it. I was feeling guilty that I couldn't save my first kiss for Ryouta and the guilt was just too overwhelming. It was true. That time when he had kissed me, I remembered, Ikuto's kiss had popped into my mind immediately, and then the tears started coming.

Guilt. It was guilt. It just had to be.

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I looked down at my cellphone, hesitating to dial Ryouta's number. He was probably incredibly hurt by my actions that night, and I felt so bad that I wanted to apologize, yet I was worried about his reaction. I had been thinking about it all through my classes, hardly being able to focus on any.

Three days had passed since then, and I didn't know if I could risk waiting another.

My finger hovered over the seven on my phone, slightly shaking. As a few minutes ticked by on a nearby clock, I soon realized that it would be best to text him instead, worried that I wouldn't be able to speak once he picked up. If he picked up.

As I realized I had no idea what to say to him, my thumbs froze above the letters.

Did I want to apologize straight away, or pretend it never happened?

No, if Ryouta brought it up, I could explain, but if not, I'd try to avoid the topic. How could I explain something I didn't even know myself, anyway?

I started typing.

Hey Ryouta! I was just wondering if you were free this weekend, since I am and there's this new movie coming out that I sorta wanna watch.

There wasn't actually a movie that I wanted to see, but I could probably choose one out of the many that were playing in theatres these days. The whole point was to be with my boyfriend, anyways. I didn't care what we watched.

Quickly hitting send, I set the device beside me as I waited for a reply, letting out a sigh.

There was absolutely nothing from him for the rest of the day, and I tried not to be too worried. I had given up on checking my phone every five minutes, leaving it in my pocket and hoping that I'd forget about it.

As I was in the kitchen searching for any sweets or drinks I could possibly take upstairs to my room, I heard someone call my name.

"Hey, Amu? Can I talk to you for a second?"

I froze in my spot in front of the open fridge, recognizing the voice as my brother immediately. Why was he here? Why did he want to talk to me? I stood there for a while, debating on whether to say yes or run away to hide in my room. There was no way I wanted to see him now, but I couldn't really decline, could I?

Slowly closing the door, I took a deep breath before I replied.

"Y-Yeah, sure..." I had planned to speak loudly and casually with that huge gulp of air I took, yet my voice was weak.

I forced myself to turn around and face the man, walking towards a counter so I could lean against it. He didn't move.

"W-What did you want to talk about?" I asked, knowing that it probably had something to do with the incident at the restaurant. While waiting for his answer, I looked around the room, refusing to let my gaze land on him.

"I, um..."

My head automatically swivelled in his direction when I noticed the hesitancy in his tone and the gulp I heard. It seemed that he was nervous about it, and he awkwardly ran a hand through his navy locks.

"Look..." he continued. "I've wanted to tell you this for a while now, but I was just..." Another deep breath was taken. "Worried."

My eyes widened, a thought immediately coming into mind. There was only one thing someone like him could be so nervous about.

"You might not like it and you might not even believe me, but please just listen."

I stayed silent as I gaped at him, occupied with the thought in my head.

That wasn't possible. There was no way someone like Ikuto, my brother, would feel that way towards me of all people. Yet what else could it be? He said that he had been worried, but worried about what exactly? What else could he be so nervous about?

There was a dreadfully long silence after that and I tried hard not to mumble an excuse and leave. I knew that I wouldn't be able to handle the curiosity later on, though, so I forced myself to stay put.

I suddenly felt something vibrate against my leg, and immediately realized that Ryouta had replied to my text. As I shifted from my position against the counter and tried to reach for the device in my pocket, I heard Ikuto speak.

"Look Amu," his words were slow, like he didn't know what to say. "I think...I think Ryouta's cheating on you."

It took a while for the words to process in my mind, and I found myself confirming them with him just in case.

"You think Ryouta's...cheating on me?"

That hadn't been what I was expecting, and I furrowed my brows, confused that he'd get so nervous just to tell me that. He didn't even need to tell me—I was already suspecting it. But, of course, there was no way I'd admit that to him out loud.

"To tell you the truth, I've seen him and that blonde girl at many of my concerts, and they looked really close. And you even saw them that day on your date. They completely ignored you, he completely ignored you." Ikuto took a step towards me, his gaze holding a look of worry, like he was worried I was going to start crying or something. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it, but I didn't want to hurt you. I also assumed you knew after that date," he said. "I guess you didn't."

I opened my mouth, ready to tell him that there was no way that it was happening and that Ryouta would never do that, but he continued before I could speak.

"That's what I meant in the…closet that day." The bluenette looked away.

Well I sure never wanted him to bring that up.

"You should break up with him, Amu. He's cheating on you, we both know that."

And what about what you did after you said that…? What was that kiss about? Why do you care? You never cared!

I had a whole bunch of thoughts running through my mind right then, and I wasn't sure which questions I could actually ask him and which ones I couldn't. Ikuto was acting so…strange, weird, and just…not himself. He seemed genuinely worried for me, and it seemed like he actually cared about my feelings. Not once had I ever seen this side of him before. I couldn't understand the reason behind it, which got me even more confused and unable to say anything.

"No he's not, Ikuto." Denying his words seemed to be the easiest thing to do, and I soon found the words I really didn't mean slipping out of my mouth. "You're wrong. Ryouta wouldn't cheat on me." I focused my gaze on the ground in front of him, staring at a random spot on the tile. "They're just friends."

My words were followed by a sigh from my brother as he backed away from me.

"Believe what you want. But it's true Amu, you're going to get hurt."

When I saw him turning around to leave, I heard myself telling him to stop. There was something else I needed to tell him, I remembered.

"You can also believe what you want, but don't act so rude towards him." I saw him watching me with that cold gaze again, and I gulped before continuing. "You were completely ignoring him when he was trying to be nice, what was with you? I know your girlfriend probably wanted to leave, but that was no reason for you to be so rude!"

"She's not my girlfriend," he stated.

I ignored him.

"At least try to be more polite to Ryouta. He didn't mean what he did that other day, he apologized so many times."

He stared at me with those blue eyes, and I could see the anger that he was trying to contain. I knew he was trying to tell me to stop talking, which made me want to say even more, but I had nothing left to tell him. So I stared back, trying my hardest not to cower at his gaze. His mouth had opened and closed a few times during that moment, like he was about to say something but then decided against it.

Just as I was thinking that now would be the right time to leave, I heard him speak.

"That doesn't change the fact that he did it. What if he does it again? How do you know he won't?" Ikuto asked. "So how the hell am I supposed to act calm and nice towards a man that made the girl I"—he paused, his eyes widening for a slight second—"my sister cry twice?"

"Twice?"

He only stared back at me, and I dismissed it despite my confusion.

There were other things on my mind.

Did he really care about me that much? Why had he never shown me this side of him before? Why?

"I'm going to my room," I told him, unable to think while he was in front of me, walking pass him and towards the stairs.

Ikuto called my name, and my pace slowed, but I didn't stop.

"Think about it Amu," he said, not raising his voice yet I could hear him just fine. "Is he really the right guy for you?"

Is he…the right guy? What?

Was Ryouta the right guy for me? Of course he was…right?

As I was walking up the next step, my foot hit the edge and I found myself losing my balance, falling backwards. I closed my eyes to brace myself for the contact between me and the floor but I never hit it.

"Hey! Careful!"

My back hit something soft and warm, and for a split second it felt like my brother was hugging me, the memory of that time at the party coming back into my mind. I was too shocked to move for a few seconds, but when I realized the kind of position we were in, I quickly jumped up, my cheeks heating.

"S-Sorry!" I squeaked, looking at my feet.

Refusing to look at him, I started going up the stairs again, only to start wobbling on the first step as my sense of balance wasn't working properly from my embarrassment. My brother put a hand on my waist and I jumped at the sudden action, the complete opposite of his intention, so he ended up using both hands to hold me steady.

And I was just standing there, like an idiot, with reddened cheeks, not knowing what to do.

I heard a deep chuckle from behind me.

"What's up with you today?"

"N-Nothing," I mumbled, my eyes still on my bare feet. "T-Thanks."

As I had been fully aware of the large, warm hands placed on my waist, I could practically feel the heat gradually reduce as he let go of me.

Slowly making my way up the stairs, I tried to calm my heated cheeks, trying to remember my conversation with Ikuto in the kitchen so I could have something else to think about.

Lena: Sooo, sorta short, but I wanted to get this posted ASAP so… Anyway, hope you liked it and please R&R! :D Thanks a bunch to those who are still with me despite my crappy updating skills... ^-^

Oh, and I'm gonna be working on Familiar Stranger and Through my Eyes now so you might not see this updated in a while…I'll come back to it I promise!