[Thanks for your hard work!]

You're welcome! I'm glad to be of help!

[Don't be too reckless. The boss will take it out on us.]

It's not like I can help it, it is part of my job. But I'll keep your words in mind.

[Thanks to you I'll be able to take out my girlfriend this weekend for our anniversary!]

Wow! That's great! Anniversary celebrations... hmmm... I wonder if I should prepare one. Wait, does that mean our anniversary date is the day he raped me?

[You're still a brat, but a cool one.]

Basta—! Oh! Hehe! I'll let you off this time.

[Please don't run anymore when we try to catch you. The boss adds 5 miles to our running regimen every time you escape.]

I knew those guys worked out... but Asami sure is merciless. 5 miles!? I wonder how much has been added already.

[Don't die. Hell will break loose. I'm serious.]

I don't want to die too, you know. And what do you mean by hell will break loose?

[Congratulations!]

Something odd got mixed in. Oh! Congratulations on making it out alive perhaps?

[Thanks for helping us out! But I'm still convinced that you did it for the boss.]

Okay, maybe a little. But you'll have to kill me first before you can make me admit that.

[Please try to keep your voice down when you're having sex with the boss.]

It's not like I can help it! You should blame it on Asami, not me.

[Take care of the boss. He's been really exhausted lately.]

It's not like I'm not already doing it. But I'll be extra caring the next few days.

[You do realize that most of the boss' mood swings depends on your every move right?]

Errr... I never noticed. I thought it was the other way around. Really? Is that how it is?

[Keep the boss happy and everybody will be safe.]

Making him happy comes at the price of my precious ass, you know. I think he likes the food I make, does that make him happy?

[You're a good guy.]

D'awww. Thanks!

[I heard you two tied the knot. You must really like the boss.]

Wait. What? This person must have put the wrong paper in the wrong envelope.

[Don't go jumping into the road again, especially when I'm driving.]

Okay, but how am I supposed to know if you're the one driving?

[I drove the boss to a jewelry shop recently. Do you know why? I thought he mail-ordered everything.]

You're seriously asking the wrong person. But that is suspicious.

[Don't cause any more trouble for the boss.]

I'll keep that in mind.

[Are you two planning to get married outside the country? Should we start calling you Ane-san?]

What the hell is? NO and NO!

[Never let your guard down, especially when the boss or any of us isn't with you.]

I never let my guard down, especially when your boss is with me.

[Don't upset the boss.]

Okay! Okay! I get it already!

[You take beautiful pictures, but don't take any more that will hinder the boss' business.]

Thanks but I can't promise you that. I'm not really sure what the scope of Asami's business is so I don't really know what's off-limits.

[You're too loud.]

He means in general right? Asami! You dummy! This is all your fault. I can't believe this!

[The boss wants you but I think he also needs you.]

I'm glad someone supports me. I wonder if I'm close to getting a hold of Asami's heart yet.

['Till death do us part.' I can't believe you really said that to him. Now you really can't escape.]

I said what? To who? Something is definitely off here. Did someone get married?

[Stop kicking when I carry you.]

Of course I'll kick! I can walk on my own! No one should have to carry me.

[You're a fast runner!]

I was part of the soccer team once. Before I became a delinquent, that is.

[Please no more kidnappings. The boss was really upset when the Hong Kong incident happened.]

Don't worry. I've already learned my lesson with that one.

[The boss is really scary. How do you survive every day?]

I bet you guys see the darker side of Asami a lot more than I do. I should be the one asking you that.

[Be there for the boss in good times and in bad times.]

I'm here now, aren't I? I even tried to help with those pictures.

[Don't drink alcohol when you can't handle it.]

I'm an adult already! You're saying the exact same things as Asami!

[Be loyal to the boss.]

It's not like I have a choice. My mind's already full of him even when I don't want it to be.

[I heard you and the boss got married secretly. Congratulations!]

We did not! No wonder the other messages sounded weird. Damn rumors!

[Answer the boss' call on the third ring. He gets really agitated when you don't answer until the fifth ring.]

It's not like I can bring my phone while taking a bath. Asami's the one with the wrong timing. Hang on, maybe I can use this to my advantage. *evil grin* Let's see who gets pissed off more when you try to mock me again.

[Be sure to tell the boss wherever you are going.]

Do I really look like a kid to everybody? It really doesn't matter whether I tell him or not because he always seems to know where I am.

[How's the married life? Are you planning to adopt?]

Oh god, here's another one. Hmmm... I see... Asami will eventually need an heir right? That could be an option. Oh no! Please stop this. I might get carried away.

[The boss really cares for you. I don't understand why you're always yelling and rebelling against him.]

Here's another member of the Asami fan club. Do you not seriously see what he does to me?

[I'm the one who informed the barkeeper to always serve you juice or cola. The boss told me to do so.]

Oh now, you're confessing.

[I heard the vacation after Hong Kong was the honeymoon. I didn't believe it at first, but you moved in afterwards. So I guess it's true. You two did get married.]

Did I just have to make it worse? *facepalm*

[I heard the boss is investing in male pregnancy research... Just kidding.]

Oh you better be. I should clarify this with Asami... but then he'll think I'm interested. Then what am I supposed to do? These people are driving me crazy!

[You should try to match the boss' suits. It doesn't look right when you stand next to him in torn jeans.]

You are an Asami fan club member. I'm sure of it. And my clothes are fine!

[I used to be in the Photography club back in college. You have great talent Takaba-san.]

Now this is interesting. I want to find out who this is. Maybe we can talk about cameras while waiting for Asami to finish his meeting or something.

[Marriage isn't easy. I know because I was married once. Welcome to the circle.]

And we're back to the wedding rumors. I am not part of any damn circle!

[Wishing you the joy and happiness that you both deserve, make sure you kiss every night before going to bed.]

He even wrote it in cursive. This is really getting out of hand. And just so you know, I really wish a kiss was enough for Asami, but we really just end up doing it almost every night.

[This is the only time I can probably say it so, Congratulations to the bride and groom on their happy union.]

Please don't tell me the bride you're referring to is me...

[Congratulations! Asami Akihito-san!]

This must be karma. Never again will I refer to myself as Asami's housewife. Never!

And finally the last paper at the very bottom of the envelope.

[I'm probably one of the few men that have served the boss the longest. Whether you married him or not, even though I know you didn't. Please stay by the boss' side. Whatever happens in the future have faith in him. He treasures you greatly and that's all you really need to know.]

And here I thought they were all idiots. Seriously, why did the last paper have to be so touching?

To whoever wrote this paper, you don't have to worry guard-san. I'm already in too deep in this relationship with Asami; it's going to take more than one Hell to break us apart.