Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any of its characters; I don't own anything except my blog on Tumblr.

Some content may be triggering.

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Rachel's POV

Here I am once again, dragging the blade across my wrist. I've been doing this for a couple months now. No one has noticed because no one cares, they all hate me.

I don't really know how I got here. I was destined for Broadway. I ignored the insults and the slushies that were constantly thrown at me. I thought one day I will be out of this hick town and they'll all regret there're cruelties towards me. I put on my show face and refused to let anyone see me cry.

But then the mask started to crack.

I fell apart with every insult and singing no longer helped me cope with things, so I found a new way to cope.

Cutting

I thought I could control it, but soon my life began to revolve around the next time I could cut, and I realized that I couldn't.

I push the blade deeper into my arm and soon have six bleeding gashes. The blood starts flowing down my arm, but it's not strong enough to give me the high that I crave.

I think about my dads. They started going on really long business trips when I was thirteen and one day they just didn't come back. I got a text from them saying that they had filled a bank account for me and would put more money in it every few weeks. The house was paid off they said that they were sorry but they just didn't want a kid anymore. I never replied. Now I'm sixteen and have gotten used to coming home every day to a cold, empty house.

13 cuts

Then I found Shelby and thought, maybe I can have a family again. But she didn't want me and replaced me with Quinn's baby.

18 cuts

The blood is dripping onto the floor now, still not enough.

The glee club was supposed to be my family, but they constantly put me down and told me how much better they would be without me. Mr. Schue never did anything to stop them. He didn't care either. I stopped showing up about a month ago. No one noticed.

21 cuts

My arm is covered in blood and I just got deeper.

The voices in my head urge me on, reminding me of everything I am.

Fat

Ugly

Worthless

Stupid

A loser

Talentless

The world would be better off without me.

24 cuts

It feels good, seeing the blood. I can't explain it but when you see the blood it just feels like everything that's wrong goes away and all you focus on is the blood.

I feel like I'm on cloud nine, but when I look in the mirror all I see is a broken girl with sad eyes that have no sparkle in them.

I lost my will to live.

27 cuts

I smile and switch to my other arm, going deeper than ever before.

The blood splatters on the white tile floor. Like rose petals on snow.

35 cuts

Soon it becomes a small puddle and I begin to sing softly to myself. The lullaby no one ever sang me.

Hush little baby, you're almost dead

You don't have a pulse and your pillow is red

I switch to my stomach

44 cuts

Your family hates you; your friends let you bleed

Sleep tight with a knife, cause' that's all you need

Tears roll down my face and my voice breaks as I realize that this is the end.

49 cuts

I continue to sing.

Rockabye baby, broken and scarred

You didn't know life would be this hard

Tremors begin to rock through me, my vision becomes blurry around the edge and I can no longer feel my hands and feet.

Time to end the pain you hid so well

54 cuts

And now you'll come back baby

62 cuts

Back to hell

I drift off with the last note whispering through the air.