*I do not own The Hobbit - book or movie. I am only playing with the characters :)

Chapter 1

For some, life changing situations happen in a grand way. The stars align in such a way that no one is under any other impression that this person was meant for greatness. Maybe they were meant to be a grand ruler. To rule over a vast kingdom with wisdom and benevolence. To be loved by one and all. Or perhaps a mighty warrior who could take down an entire army with a handful of brave and faithful men. Who would no doubt win the hand of a fair lady and slay all of her dragons.

Their adventures seem to begin from the cradle.

Sonnets and ballads are sung about such ones and their greatness. For there was never any doubt that fate was leading them towards that end. They are the stuff of legend.

But such was not the tale of one brave soul.

There was no grand revelation of destiny for poor Bilbo Baggins who found herself thrown into the middle of a story not her own thanks to the meddling ways of a wizard.

No, although she was not aware of it Miss Baggins' adventure began when she was just sitting down to her supper and there came a knock at the door…

Dwalin was no expert on Hobbits. In fact, he could count on one hand the number of times he had seen one before stepping foot into the Shire (apparently Hobbit folk weren't great travellers). But he had seen enough to know that despite their beardless state there was a clear difference between the males and females of the Hobbit people.

So when the round, port-hole perfect green door opened he was surprised by the clearly female figure wrapped from shoulders to furry feet in a patchwork robe tied firmly at the waist.

After all whoever heard of a lady-burglar?

Actually, whoever heard of a Hobbit-burglar? He certainly hadn't before Gandalf had brought it up.

Dwalin had always thought that Hobbits appeared slight and almost child-like no matter the gender when compared to the more robust and broad frames of his own people. But the figure at the door was definitely female he was sure of it.

Dwalin was struck dumb by this sudden change in events, not knowing how to proceed. How was he supposed to guess that…that…

Giant blue eyes looked up at him from under long lashes and freckles were dusted across the bridge of her nose and cheeks. A long braid of hair – slightly darker than corn – fell over one shoulder to stop just short of her small waist.

Absolutely female!

Gandalf – he knew the wizard wasn't trustworthy, he had told Thorin to be wary of him but had he listened? – had made no mention of the burglar being a woman so Dwalin and the rest of the company had assumed he was a…well….he.

The lass stood staring at him, her eyes wide in her fair face – aye, she was a bonnie little thing even if she didn't have a beard– and he quickly recovered himself, bowing deeply at the waist.

"Dwalin, at your service ma'am,"

He had never been a good judge of the age of peoples who weren't dwarves and experience had taught his to err on the side of caution when addressing others.

The Hobbit blushed and tightened the sash of her robe before a hand went to the edge of the door the other went across her middle to latch onto the fabric of her robe. Dwain knew a defensive move when he saw one and everything in him baulked at the idea that he was making her uncomfortable. A woman should never be made to feel so in her own home.

"Um…Bilbo Baggins at yours," she attempted a little curtsy but only managed a little bob without taking her hands from their places.

Any little bit of hope that the lass was the burglar's wife or daughter fizzled out before it even had the chance to take root.

Dwalin cursed inwardly at the damned wizard for not imparting this little gem of much needed information.

From the look of confusion and nervousness on Miss Baggin's face the poor lass had no idea what he – a rather imposing figure of a dwarf even if he did say so himself – was doing at her door well after sunset. If he had known he would have held off till the morning. Or more as likely never have stepped foot in the Shire in search of Bag-end to begin with as Thorin would never have permitted it.

The poor things knuckles were beginning to go white where she was grasping the door and he could tell from the way she was eyeing up the door and him that she was wondering if she could close the door fast enough before he could make a move to stop her.

He dredged up his long unused manners and set about trying to set the lass at ease.

"My apologies for the lateness of the hour but I was sent by Gandalf,"

He saw the tension leave her shoulders slightly but she frowned at the mention of the wizard.

"Gandalf?" she queried breathing deeply.

"Yes ma'am, He said we were to come along as soon as we could," he nodded his head and tried not to fidget.

She paled.

"We?" she choked.

How was he supposed to tell her about the others when she had clearly been expecting no company to begin with?

"The rest of the company," he answered weakly, wondering if he should divulge the number in the company. He decided against it. The lass looked ready to bolt as it was. Not that he blamed her.

Can she see my axes?

Of course she can.

"Company?" the lass gulped. "Is this to do with the 'adventure' Gandalf mentioned?" he hardly managed an "aye, probably" before she continued "Because I told him no one around here would be interested in such a thing," she shivered, "I was quite clear that Bree would be the best place to look for people wanting to go adventuring, or further across the water, their a funny lot that way,"

The wee Hobbit was beginning to look very upset now but she seemed to pull herself together as one hand slowly dropped from the door and the other lowered from its protective post across her body.

She gave him a small smile. Weak, but a smile all the same and he couldn't believe for a minute that this was the burglar that Gandalf had spoken of.

"I am terribly sorry. This is very rude of me, "she stepped away from the doorway almost as though she was being dragged from it, "Please come in,"

The little thing was nervous of him, the tension still visibly thrumming through her body a testament to that and he made up his mind.

"No thank you ma'am,"

She straightened in surprise, her eyes wide.

"You go along in and I'll wait here for Gandalf and he can sort out this whole mess when he arrives,"

Silence fell between them for a moment as the Hobbit stared at him as though she was trying to figure out if he was being truthful and would actually stay outside.

She blinked and then lowered her gaze before looking at him sheepishly.

"Umm…thank you Mr Dwalin,"

"Just Dwalin," he smiled, dipping slightly at the waist again.

A smile flirted with the corner of her lips and a light danced in her eyes for the first time since she had opened the door. It didn't last long but

"Mr Dwalin," she stressed and he worried that he had offended her – perhaps it was improper for Hobbits to use the first name in such a way so soon after meeting? But the slight glow in her eyes and the smile set him at ease. "Can I…can I at least bring you a drink?" she asked him softly as he backed away from her door, trying to put as much space between them as he could while still at speaking distance.

"Thank you ma'am," he smiled as reassuringly as he knew how and tried to think of something none threatening to ask for.

"Just Bilbo, Mr Dwalin," the faint nervous smile made another appearance and his smile broadened against his will as she seemed to grow more at ease with him now she was reassured he would stay outside.

"Some…" none threatening Dwalin, don't ask for beer. "Tea would be fine, thank you…Miss Bilbo," her eyes twinkled a bit more and he felt ten feet tall.

"Tea it is then," she began to back away into the house and then she froze and began to worry a loose strand of cotton on her robe while glancing behind him left and right.

He quickly realised what the problem was.

"I'll make myself comfortable on one of the steps, don't you worry yourself over that," he rushed to reassure her.

"Are you certain, I can-"

"Yes I am certain,"

The lass continued to stand for a few more seconds, moving from one small furry foot to the other in indecision before she left him with a "I won't be long," and closed the door softly.

Dwalin sighed heavily and looked up at the star-filled sky as though it would provide him with some answers. Nothing was forthcoming.

He did know one thing though.

He was going to be having a long talk with the wizard when he arrived.

Bilbo shut her door and leaned against it, all the strength draining from her legs and turning her muscles to custard.

Were they axes that he had on his back?

There will never be a A/N this long again I am just including the prompt this one time :)

Hi everyone.

So I watched The Hobbit for the first time a few weeks ago (and have since also seen The Fellowship of the Ring - yes, it can be argued that I have been living under a rock ;)) and the fanfiction side of my brain went nuts. BUT I was going to behave and NOT write anything. And then I stumbled across the Hobbit Kink Meme on Live journal and MAY have had a nosey through the prompts and MAY have started to jot down some things to -

OKAY FINE! The fanfiction Goblins started to go crazy in my head and battered at my skull. What could I do? It was either write or death by fanfic Goblin - not a pretty sight.

I am posting this elsewhere too but I felt such a traitor not putting it up here too ;)

FULL PROMPT (I would give you the link but I can never write it so it will show) - I can just imagine Dwalin in some ways is a giant teddy bear, so when he ends up on the doorstep of a female Bilbo Baggins he is charmed by her skittishness. Cue Dwalin appointing himself as her protector during the journey.

At first it's hard because Thorin doesn't like her and Dwalin has to balance both his charges. Then the Azog incident happens and it's even worse! Thorin has now set his sights on the hobbit and on one hand he's Dwalins leader, and on the other if Thorin doesn't stop staring at the burglar then Dwalin's going to poke his eyes out.

Bonuses:
Dwalin brushes Bilbo's hair every night before they go to sleep

Fili and Kili create the game of who can wind up Dwalin most by flirting with the hobbit.

Balin smothering his laughter on the sidelines

I can't guarantee that I'll hit all the point (I will try though) but this is where the idea came from.

So endeth the uber long A/N.

Take care guys!