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Chapter 1

Every day is a struggle to maintain control.

This little town has no idea the demon it houses.

I doubt they'd smile and wave if they knew…knew what I really am.

I saw the battle on TV, the one on Alcatraz. Seems to me, the Brotherhood was close to winning this time. I know Xavier is dead, I felt it in my mind when she broke him into a billion tiny pieces. I wonder if she knows…cares who else got hurt when he disappeared.

I've spent most of my life keeping Charles Xavier out of my head. He noticed me once, when I first evolved. I must have screamed so loud in my mind. I could feel him reaching out to me, trying to make it better, to take my fear but his presence only made it worse. I'll never forget the searing fire that raged across my neurons when he touched my mind.

Never again. In that moment, my…mutation, gift whatever responded in what I now think of as fight or flight and locked him out, permanently. I can could feel his presence from time to time, like a cat pawing at the door asking to be let in. There were even time when I wished I could. The idea of being connected to another person was a curious if not terrifying notion and I know knew he meant me no harm.

But, it doesn't matter now. Xavier is dead. Phoenix is dead (for now because you know…phoenix, so…yeah). The X-Men are scattered, no viable leader with Cyclopes gone, as well. I suppose the only consolation is that Magneto was "cured" and won't be Brotherhooding around anytime soon. Jack-ass.

Both of them really. Xavier and Magneto, two sides of the same coin…both on a mission in different directions, only to wrap around the world and continually run into each other. I'm glad I didn't get caught up in that whole mess. Well, at least I think I am. Because you know what really sucks? Watching those mutant kids on TV look around like their last bastion of hope has just been chucked out with the morning trash. They got used to it, you see. Comfortable. They were in the mansion, being taught about stupid, impossible shit like community and unity and all the other 'ity's' those liars through around when they want something done their way.

Xavier set them up. Plain and simple. He taught them to trust each other and look what happened! One of their own, fights against them. Pyro: another asshole. Seriously who tries to make their hair look like fire? I know it's cool to wear your team colors, but really? That shit dye-job did nothing for his swag. Yuck.

So now, here I am. On the other side of the country, watching all of this morbid bull shit go on through this blown open connection to all mutants on the planet. Thank you Captain Wheelchair. My head is throbbing, I can't focus on anything because of this torrent of…data…yeah, that's what it feels like. I'm like an overloaded server about ready to crash. Crashing sounds like a really great idea at this point. I'm exhausted, I want to sleep, I want to stop seeing this, hearing this, because it's making me feel horrible things, things like empathy that I just don't have the time for.

The last thing I want to do is get caught up in this shitstorm after spending the past 15 years avoiding it. I've done well, finished grad school (Clinical Psych…cake for a telepath but I didn't even use my mutation. I did it the old-school way), and moved back home to fail at finding a job and start panicking about my student loans.

See? NORMAL!

I don't want to be a superhero.

I don't want to wear a Lycra body suit.

Bitch please…

My ass does not look good in that. I've got cellulite, birthing hips and love-handles. I'm a REAL woman, not a freak-show comic book character with giant ta-ta's, a coke-can waist and sprinter's thighs. (But, if that shit had been part of my mutation, I would have gladly reconsidered the superhero bit. Just to have an excuse to walk my fine-ass everywhere in my "uniform.")

The worst part about this is…now that Phoenix is gone (for now, see note above), I might be the only other Class: 5 mutant in the game. And the only thing I've got going for me is that Xavier apparently never squealed on me, or he never realized. I seriously doubt the later. Xavier is was many things, but stupid…not one of them.

So, now what?

I've got a six-figure student loan coming to an area near me in March, barely any job prospects (I opted out of getting licensed. I don't want to be a therapist, I just want to study the human/mutant…human mind. Shit. There's that Brotherhood bull shit. We are all human, some of us have…variations, adaptations, mutations…whatever, but we are all human. We think the same; eat the same, fuck the same…well maybe not for Kinetics…interesting. A thought/fantasy for another time.

I need to make some money. Start paying my own way. I don't want to live with my parents for the rest of my life. One, that's just weird. Two, they…uh…don't know I'm a mutant.

Yeah.

Kept that little nugget to myself. Don't really know how I pulled it off. After my mental freak-out with Xavier, it hasn't been a matter of "controlling" my mutation. I actually ended up having difficulty getting anything to work at all. It's as if I went from full volume to mute in one fell swoop. Now, I have to purposely turn up the volume and focus on keeping it there or everything reverts back to default…default = boring/normal/invisible.

It also means SAFE.

Sleep, that's all I want. I just want to sleep. For the first time in my life, I can't control my mutation. The volume is up…and the worst part is that it's getting louder. I don't really know how much more I can take, but I do know this: If I lose it…really lose it, there might not be anything left of this sleepy little coastal town. And, in the aftermath, it'll be pretty obvious who caused all the destruction, because I'll probably be the only one left.

Just let me SLEEP!