Harry and his Brainy Girls

By: Sheltie

I don't own Harry Potter at all

A/N: this was one I had fun with. This doesn't follow any kind of canon, which I'm pretty sure you can tell.

Chapter 203: Pansy Parkinson & Tracey Davis

"Honestly you two" Tracey Davis tsked.

"We're in one piece Tracey. That has to count for something" Pansy said with a grin on her sweaty, grimy face.

"She's right Trace, we're here with all our body parts intact, and in the right places too" Harry said in total agreement looking just as messy as Pansy.

Tracey gave Harry and Pansy a glare as she treated them. She was the on-call healer and when she saw the duo. She just sighed wearily and wondered why it was always her that these two came to. She did ask them before and their response was; 'because you're our favorite healer Trace. Why would we go to any other?'

Now Harry and Pansy were aurors and usually worked together since they were a very good team. Harry was the power and Pansy was the speed. They had the best record and always finished their paperwork on time or early, which the latter was an amazing feat in itself given all the red tape that was in government. They were the poster team for the DMLE and the head of the department absorbed all the praise since she, Tonks-Lupin, was the one who recruited them.

Harry and Pansy were a part of an operation to take out some wizards that were making some trouble. There was rumor that their leader was a supposed rising dark lord or some nonsense. The auror team was sent to snuff them out before they gained a good foothold. What ensued was a fight that was just a few steps below from what had been experienced since the second war with Voldemort. In the end the aurors completed their mission. They almost caught the leader, but they slipped through their clutches, but they caught several of his high ranking lieutenants and a lot of their war chest. Right now they're being interrogated and then would be put on trial.

Harry and Pansy were hurt, but not too badly. Though they were ordered to see a healer before they could go home for the night. Thus them now being with Tracey getting all fixed up.

Tracey sighed as she continued to heal Pansy and Harry of their injuries noticing they weren't at all serious compared to what she sometimes had to deal with when it came to these two. Sometimes she had to force one of them or both of them to St. Mungo's for treatment since what she had on hand wasn't enough. They'd mumble, grumble and whine, but in the end went. They acted just like children being told to go to bed.

"Right, you two are fine, but please don't do anything strenuous" Tracey said.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Geez Trace, you need to loosen up" Pansy said.

"Pans is right, Trace. You're so serious all the time. That's not good for your health" Harry said nodding his head.

"And why should I take your advice since I'm the healer here, not you?" Tracey asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Because we know best" Pansy said confidently.

Tracey let out a snort at that.

"You need to let loose Trace. Say, I know, lets go out drinking" Harry suggested.

"I'm in" Pansy said shooting her hand up like she was in school.

"You two, no drinking tonight" Tracey said firmly.

"Again, you're such a downer Trace. No wonder you haven't gotten laid in months" Pansy said.

Tracey's jaw dropped.

"How-how, who told you?" she hissed.

"Oh Story did, she's such a chatter bug you know" Pansy said casually.

Tracey growled and knew she'd be having a 'nice' chat with the younger Greengrass sister when next she saw her.

"You need to get laid Trace. Say no more, I know just who" Harry said grinning.

"No, no way Potter, Parkinson. There will be no hooking up of any kind. I can get my own date. I don't need any help whatsoever" Tracey said firmly.

"You just know how to take all the fun out of life you know that Trace" Pansy pouted.

"You and Harry give me enough headaches to deal with" Tracey said.

"You might see them as headaches Trace, but Pans and I see them as a way to get you to lighten up and live life" Harry said.

Pansy nodded her head enthusiastically.

Tracey could feel a major headache coming, and believe it or not these kinds usually happen when she was dealing with this duo. For some reason they just knew how to push her buttons. Pansy especially since they did room together during their time at Hogwarts since they were both Slytherins. Tracey was curious though as to how Harry and Pansy became friends since Harry was Gryffindor and Slytherins and Gryffindors don't get along at all usually.

"Come on Trace, we're wasting time" Pansy said.

"Huh, what, what time?" Tracey asked confused.

"Bar time, we gotta get our drink on. Let's go!" Pansy said punching the air.

Tracey was about to tell Pansy she shouldn't be drinking, but never got the chance as Pansy dragged her out to the apparation point where Harry was waiting.

/Scene Break/

Tracey couldn't believe it. She was at a bar with Harry and Pansy. The two were living it up while Tracey was keeping an eye on them. She didn't want all of her hard work healing them be undone by their tomfoolery.

I can't believe they were able to drag me here, I thought I was more alert than this she thought glumly.

"Cheer up Trace, here bottoms up" Pansy said as she shoved a drink into Tracey's hand.

"What am I drinking?" Tracey asked as she eyed the liquid.

"Some good stuff" Pansy answered.

"Yes, but what?" Tracey asked.

"Just drink it Trace, it ain't going to kill you that's for sure" Pansy said.

"Yeah, we usually wait for the little deaths later at night" Harry said with a grinning.

Pansy laughed at this as it took Tracey a few moments to figure out what Harry was saying and when she got it her cheeks went pink.

"So which guy should we hook Trace up with?" Pansy asked as she eyed the bar scene.

"I don't need you to find a guy for me, Pans. I'm capable of doing that on my own" Tracey said.

Pansy seemed to be ignoring Tracey and irked her.

"Oh, what about that guy?" Harry suggested as he pointed to a guy chatting with his buddies.

"MMm, nay, I think he's too young. In fact I don't think he's supposed to be here. Kid looks to be just out of diapers" Pansy said, "look at his baby face."

"Huh, you're right. Best do my job since we can't have minors indulging in alcohol" Harry said.

Pansy nodded.

Harry left to card the kid.

As that was happening Pansy was still keeping her eyes peeled.

"Oh Trace, check out the guy over there. I think he's your type" Pansy said.

"How do you know my type Parkinson?" Tracey asked.

"Duh, we've roomed together for years. I think I know what kind of guys turn your crank" Pansy said, "I know you're not into girls since I've seen your face when we played Truth or Dare and you saw two girls kiss."

"We were thirteen" Tracey said.

"Yeah, yeah" Pansy said.

Harry returned.

"Well you were right. The kid was underage. I hauled him out" Harry said.

"Great, now back to finding Trace a man to bang for the night" Pansy said.

"Right" Harry said.

"Wait, what, no, there will be nothing of the sort going on" Tracey said adamantly.

"Come on Trace, you need this" Pansy said.

"No, no way" Tracey said stubbornly.

She was ignored as Harry and Pansy were looking for a guy for her.

"Nah, not him. He looks too moody and I'm talking Mad-Eye" Pansy said.

"Okay, how about that guy, Trace got no problem with color since she briefly date Blaise?" Harry asked.

"Sure, but I think he swings the other way" Pansy said.

"Then why the heck is he doing here, there's a gay bar a few blocks away?" Harry asked.

Pansy shrugged.

"Hmm, we've got a tricky one here, but we'll find someone" Harry said.

"Yes, yes we will. And if we don't then we can take her back and have our wicked way with her" Pansy said as she wiggled her eyebrows.

Tracey was in the middle of her drink as Pansy said this and choked.

"What?" she sputtered.

"What, it's a last resort thing. As aurors we should always have a back up plan" Pansy said.

"Or a back up for our back up" Harry chipped in.

"Or for you a back up for a back up for a back up" Pansy said with a smirk.

"Oy, no need to insult me Pans. One might wonder if you want in my bed tonight" Harry said.

"I sleep there most of the time so it makes no difference" Pansy said.

"Wait, you two are a couple?" Tracey asked.

"No" Harry and Pansy said. "We're fuck buddies."

"What?" Tracey asked.

"Merlin Trace, get with times. Fuck buddies. Two people who use one another to get the their jollies off. No commitment, no relationship of any kind" Pansy said.

"I know what fuck buddies are Pans. I'm just surprised that you two are" Tracey said.

"We are, we're not ready for anything serious, but we got needs" Harry said.

"Exactly, I trust Harry with my life so why not trust him in bed. I know he won't bang and tell" Pansy said.

"Your language has gotten so much more crass since you became an auror" Tracey commented.

"And you've become such a nun since you've become a healer" Pansy shot back.

"I have not" Tracey rebutted.

Harry calmed them down and they got to drinking. Tracey drank a bit more than she would've, but she was in a mood thanks to Pansy. She was drunk and she was leaning on Harry heavily.

"You smell good Potter, really good. I wanna eat you up" Tracey said with slurred speech.

"She's drunk" Pansy commented.

"Yeah, I can see that. Plus she's trying to take off my pants" Harry said.

"What, really?" Pansy asked then peeked her head under the table and whistled, "she is." She then popped her head back up. "Why aren't ya stopping her?"

"Been trying then gave up" Harry answered.

"You're such a guy" Pansy said rolling her eyes.

"And you like what makes me a guy" Harry said with a smirk.

"I will admit you're adequately equipped" Pansy said plainly.

"Really that's not what you say when I'm giving it to you" Harry said.

"Temporary insanity" Pansy said in a tongue in cheek manner.

"So Tracey's excuse is HUI?" Harry asked.

"'HUI'?" Pansy asked.

"Horny under the influence" Harry said.

"Ah, yes I believe so" Pansy said, "didn't think she was that kind of girl though."

"So, wanna get out of here before Trace decides to really puts on a show?" Harry asked.

"Sure, just make sure you've concealed all weapons before getting up. Wouldn't want to arrest you pulling a lethal weapon in public" Pansy said.

Harry with the help of Pansy who distracted Tracey got situated. They paid their tab then left with a drunk and very amorous Tracey back to Harry's place to see how frisky a drunk Tracey Davis could be.

End

A/N: right, I had an ending for this one, but changed it to what you've read. I think it fits better than what I had. Thanks for reading and please review.