I own nothing, if I did...you would know.

The last few glimpses that they managed to get of Thessia plagued her mind as her armor clattered loudly to the floor of her cabin. Shepard had been wounded, thankful for the dark color of her armor, human blood wasn't easily detected. Liara had excused herself as soon as they were off the shuttle, her usual inquisitive and wondering eyes void of all emotion as she stepped into the elevator. Jane knew that look, it was the same one on ever human's face that had survived the take over of Earth.

With a final tug of her shoulder gauntlet she cried out, throwing it with a biotics laced lob at the hull of the ship where it fell with a loud clatter. The usual pristine white of her tank top darkened and sticky with blood. Her nose scrunched as she tried in vain to rotate her shoulder, only earning a cry from her lips. Whatever was lodged in there, whatever rounds Leng had been using...they did their trick.

How could she go down to the medbay though? Just stroll down and get treatment for this. A flesh wound compared to what was happening to the rest of her species. Processed into grey matter, fed into those monsters; mercilessly. What gave her the right to anything but that? She was human afterall, she was Earthborn, she wasn't anything special.

'A hero'. Many would tell her, and she's bite her tongue in an effort not to laugh in their face. A 'hero' wouldn't have gotten their ship blown up and gotten themselves killed. A 'hero' wouldn't have sided with an enemy who's ideas painted Humans as the superior race, a bunch of xenophobic maniacs on a quest for dominance. A 'hero' wouldn't have wiped out 300,000 Batarians and then reasoned with herself that what she did was right, what she did was warranted. Those weren't the acts of a hero...no matter how many nights she'd stayed up trying to convince herself otherwise.

The telltale of the elevator stopping at her floor had the redhead staring at her door.

"Commander."

"Yes, EDI?"

"Lieutenant Commander Williams is requesting an audience with you. Shall I allow her access?"

"No."

"Very we-"

"Skipper! I hear you in there. Just let me in." The pressing voice of the brunette came through the door and Jane's brow raised just slightly. Leave it to Ash to try and press an order.

Scanning the room for a moment, Shepard's eyes caught her N7 hoodie. Trying to put it on proved an impossible task as she nearly sobbed in pain as her shoulder moved.

"Lock. Disengage." She mumbled miserably, sitting on the edge of her bed with her elbow resting against her knee. Her left arm tucked closely to her body, an automatic gesture to protect her injury. As soon as Ashley was in the room, her eyes fell into a look of...enlightenment almost.

"I knew it." She said softly, shaking her head as her arms crossed over her chest.

"Knew what?" Shepard spat back, eyes narrowing a bit. She really did hate the smug air that now filled the room. She preferred her self pity more.

Williams crossed the room, grabbing the chair by the coffee table to sit directly across from Shepard. "I knew you were injured. Smelled the blood the second my helmet came off."

Shepard made a face, blinking a few times as she stared at the woman in front of her. "That..is a level of disgusting and or creepy that I can't even begin to comprehend." Sighing softly she licked her lips and continued to eye the former Chief in front of her. "So you came up here to gloat? Another time, Williams."

This earned a laugh from Ashley, causing Shepard's brow to furrow in confusion for a moment. "Not this time, Skip. I came down to make sure you get to the med bay and get that shoulder checked out. Leaving it like that for too long could lead to some...messy stuff. I've seen pictures." The brunette's head shook from side to side a few times, as if to erase the images that surfaced at the mention of the injury. "Anyways, come on. Up you go, Chakwas is expecting you."

"No." Shepard growled out in a tone that had the seated woman standing and stepping back a little bit.

"Pardon for the insubordination, but why the hell not?" Ashley growled back, a similar, albeit less menacing tone.

Shepard stood at this, a little too fast for her own liking as the momentum shifted her shoulder painfully. "Because Williams, I don't deserve it." Her words dripped acid, a tone that would have a lesser person walking out of the room with their tail between their legs. It was probably a good thing Ashley was a Marine then, wasn't it?

"You don't deserve it? I..what?" The words were almost ridiculous to the other woman, trying to understand this current thought process had her head almost hurting.

"Did a stutter? You heard me. Now leave me alone. That's an order." Shepard's eyes swirled the usual gray with a hint of red that still hadn't gone away from Cerberus' implants.

Ashley didn't back down once again, keeping her ground as she lifted her head. "You may be the CO of this ship, but you don't outrank me anymore, Shepard. So respectfully ma'am? I'll be disobeying that order." This earned another growl out of Shepard as she continued her heavy gaze.

Dark eyes met angry ones as the two stared at one another until Ashley's hand came up to rest against Jane's cheek. The sudden touch had Shepard jumping a bit, her jaw tightening.

"What did you mean when you said you didn't deserve it?" Ashley asked, her previous tone completely gone as she studied the face of the woman in front of her. This earned a sigh and a slow shake of her head, the brunette keeping a steady hand on the redhead.

"I deserve some kind of pain after everything I've done. I deserve something. Worlds are being lost. Planets! And what the hell am I doing? Playing bureaucratic puppet in meetings and summits. Billions are dead, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it." Her words dropped to a whisper as her eyes lowered the heat and died down to their regular color. "This all seems like one of those nightmares that seem to go on forever. I don't feel anymore. Not when it comes to these...sick decisions. Sacrifice a couple hundred thousand here for a couple million there. Send good men and women to their death for a slim opening that might lead us somewhere that can be helpful. It's Torfan all over again."

Ashley used this moment to look down. Torfan. She'd read the reports, she'd heard the stories of the troops who came out alive. The way they described Shepard, the cold, ruthless biotic leading a siege that would've probably killed the entire team under any other command. A woman who put a pistol to the head of ever Batarian she could as she pulled the trigger with ease, a sick smile across her face towards the end.

That wasn't the Shepard that she knew, not all the time really. In the heat of a battle she caught glimpses. When a firefight got heavy and the Vanguard would charge in and dismantle enemies with her bare hands, Ash would hear a laugh filter through the comms. It chilled her to the bone most of the time but she'd gotten used to it. She knew Shepard was different when she was out of her armor. Sarcastic, humorous, adventurous and cunning. Things that made Shepard so...Shepard. Things Ashley had come to love.

"It isn't Torfan." She said suddenly, lifting Jane's face so they were looking at one another. "You listen to me because I'm saying all of this once. You've made some choices in the past that might seem questionable now..but in the moment they were what you believed were right. They were for the bigger picture, they were for the galaxy's betterment. You focus on those you've lost...but what if you focused on those you saved? Those parents who have another day with their child, the lovers who have another night to lay in one anothers arms. The worlds that have fallen aren't on your shoulders. They weren't under your watch. You have your mission, and you're carrying it out exactly as you should be. Their. Deaths. Aren't. On. You." She emphasized each word, staring at Shepard for a response.

It was quiet in the cabin, aside from the constant hum of the fish tank. The two shared the same breath for a moment before Jane broke off and turned sharply, allowing herself to cry out in exasperation. "Yes they are! Can't you see that?" A laugh escaped her lips, no humor behind it. "That's what being the 'Savior of the Galaxy' comes with! Those kids who lost their parents? In ten years, if we make it that far? They'll still be blaming me. Those partners mourning the loss of the most important person in their life will curse my name for not protecting what was sacred to them. It's on me whether I like it or not." She hit the bed hard with a defeated sigh, allowing her head to drop for a moment.

"Robert Green Ingersoll once sai-"

"I'm not in the fucking mood for a quote, Williams." Shepard spat.

"Too bad. Because you're gonna hear one. 'When the will defies fear, when duty throws the gauntlet down to fate, when honor scorns to compromise with death - that is heroism.' Do you understand that, Skipper?" Ashley stood in the same spot as before, her hands tucked behind her back.

"No, but I assume you'll tell me how this pertains to me though." She was used to this by now..it didn't mean she liked it anymore at this point.

"The things you've done, Shepard...they're that of legends. Stories that will be passed on from generation to generation. Things others would've cowered away from, you rush head on with a fire that made people follow you into a damn suicide mission! You've followed orders that others would abandon because you don't let a mission go unfinished. You-"

"I get the point." This earned her a glare and a slug to her good shoulder, which in turn earned a smirk from the redhead.

"Let me finish."

Giving an exaggerated signal to move along, Ashley nodded.

"You gave your life so that you could ensure the safety of your entire crew. You could've fought to get into that pod with Joker. You had your helmet on, he could've handled waiting that little extra time. But you wouldn't have any of that. A good Captain goes down with their ship, and you did so honorably. So don't sit here and tell me you deserve pain. You're a hero, Shepard. And you will be for eons to come. No matter what happens within the next few weeks or months." The brunette finished off her speech, taking the seat beside Shepard once more. Reaching between them she laced their fingers together and gave her hand a small squeeze. "So come on. Please? Come with me to the Medbay, get checked out and then I'll leave you alone. Marine's honor."

Jane's eyes moved from focusing on the ground in front of her to looking at their joined hands. Her thumb moved back and forth slowly, skimming the oddly soft skin of the soldier's hand in hers. She didn't speak at first, instead studying the linked hands, the difference between their skin tones, the sizes overall, how warm she felt right now from a simple handhold. For the first time since she'd been 'reinstated' back on Earth everything felt a little lighter. She didn't feel like she was alone in all of this for once, even though she constantly had a ship full of people behind her.

Shepard let out a slow breath, blinking a few times before nodding. "Fine. But on one condition." She said simply, earning a brow raise from the brunette.

"Continue..." Ashley said, staring at the CO inquisitively.

"After the getting checked out thing...don't leave me alone?" The lieutenant commander was a bit taken back by what she saw..or rather heard. Any traces of the woman who led the assault on Torfan, any glimpse she'd ever caught of the cold and calculating military mind, even the slightest hint of the Shepard that the rest of the universe knew...was gone. This wasn't Commander Shepard talking to her. This was Jane. A woman just like her.

"I think that can be arranged." She responded softly, standing and leading the Commander to the elevator.

I was thinking I might be able to stretch this out to a multi chapter but that depends on the reviews I get on it at the moment. I'll keep the story opened for two weeks or so, see what you guys say and if you like it, I'll keep going.

Also, excuse any errors you might find. I have no beta and most of my writing happens after sleepless nights.