"Annie! Annie, look at me!" Britta finally grabbed Annie's attention and sighed gratefully. "God, that you long enough! Okay, so I know this is weird, but you just have to trust me. It involves this witch and a gingerbread house and IT WAS VEGAN, OKAY? Do you know how hard it is to find vegan gingerbread? It's really hard, Annie. And it's not my fault I was hungry! Nobody goes camping without Mary Jane, right?" Britta saw Annie shake her head and she took a deep breath, centering herself, before getting back on topic. "Sorry, sorry, where was I? Oh. Yeah, so just trust me. Okay?" Annie continued to stare and Britta, impatient, waddled toward her.

"Ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod... There's a penguin. In the hallway. There's a penguin. In the hallway. Ohgodohgod. You are not hallucinating because of an overdose of Adderall, Annie. You haven't taken any Adderall so how can you be overdosing on it? Logically speaking, you can't. Deep breaths, Annie. Think rationally. You can do it... C'mon. You can do it." Britta managed to get close enough to hear the low mutters and she frowned. She had just talked to Annie! Was she not listening? She tried again, deciding to go with gentle but firm.

"Annie? Listen to me. It's Brit-ta. Britta. You know? Your friend? From the study group? You're obviously panicking because the situation is stressful and reminds you of past trauma. But it's okay, I'm a mental health professional!" She kept her tone reassuring and positive. Annie backed away.

"Okay, Annie, the penguin is approaching. And are you trying to quack?" Annie leaned down and scrutinized the penguin for a moment before shaking herself and rearing back once more. "No. No. Annie, no. Just walk away. There is no penguin. The penguin is not there." Britta stopped short at Annie's first question, frozen in shock, coming to the realization that she wasn't speaking in any language that could be understood by humans. Annie's mumbles brought her back to the present. Tuned in again and nettled by the denials, Britta's expression soured and she crossed her flippers angrily.

"Britta?" Annie's astonishment rang through clearly. Her eyes were wide as she stared down at the penguin whose joy at being recognized was palpable. She waddled forward and Annie suddenly found her legs surrounded by soft feathers and flippers. "Aww, Britta!" She wiggled down and cuddled Britta-the-Penguin for a moment. "Wait, what?" Annie pulled back with an eyebrow raised. Britta shrugged, a weight easing off her shoulders. It wasn't like she knew how to explain this without words. "Right. Right, because you can't talk. Hmm. I have to go to class. Oh no!" Annie's gasp startled Britta. "You have to go to class!"

Britta rolled her eyes. Annie wouldn't ditch school when her friend was, without explanation, suddenly a penguin and, to top it all off, now she was more worried about said friend being unable to go to class?

"We can make this work. We need to find somewhere you'll be safe, first. I'll find someone to cover your class. I'll come get you at 3... Oh, you don't have a watch. Can you read? It's okay, I'll leave you my stopwatch. It has a clock function!" Annie held it out proudly. Britta shrugged again. Annie was weird. "I know the perfect place you can stay! Our closet!" At this point, Britta was beginning to feel pretty lackadaisical about the whole thing. Between dealing with being a penguin and finally getting Annie to recognize her, she was more than happy to follow Annie around. She hadn't been aware that the two of them shared a closet but she wasn't about to complain. They arrived in less than a minute and Britta craned her neck, peeking around Annie's legs, but nothing clicked.

"Stay here. Nobody besides Jeff and me ever uses this closet and I have class with him next so you'll be safe. Do you need anything? Water? I don't think I can get krill or any fish on campus... I'm pretty sure the fish in the cafeteria fish and chips are just misshapen chicken nuggets but I'll see what I can do after class. Would subway sell me plain tuna, you think?" Annie glanced at her watch. "Shoot, I have to run. Oh, Britta." She leaned down and cuddled Britta to her chest once more before taking off.

Britta distantly acknowledged that Annie's boobs probably deserved having a monkey named after them – they were pretty comforting. She was still stuck, however, on the idea that 'our closet' had meant Jeff and Annie's closet, not a closet that she and Annie shared. Not because she was jealous! But what exactly had Jeff and Annie been doing in said closet to make it special to them? Or to make it special to Annie, at least? Slumping on to her bottom, Britta rested her chin in her upturned flipper and pondered.

"Really? You're a penguin? Really?" Britta was startled out of her reverie by a strident voice that sounded painfully like Cordelia Chase. And, okay, yeah, that was Cordelia Chase. Because this day needed to be even more cracktastic. Sure. "Ugh, you would be a penguin." Not knowing what else to do, Britta shrugged. Again. "Ugh. Whatever. Here's the deal, blondie. You eat some of my house? You get cursed. I'm queen bee, or if we're sticking with the theme here, Queen C. You don't mess with the queen."

"So I'm cursed. Great. You showed up just to tell me that? Big, powerful witch and this is what you use your abilities for? You could be doing so much good! Instead you're cursing people and showing up to rub their faces in it?" Britta took a deep breath, preparing to let loose, feeling rather brave with the knowledge that she couldn't be understood. When the witch drew her fingers together in the 'mouths closed' gesture Jeff had already perfected, she squeaked in surprise.

"First off, why are you mouthing off to the one who cursed you? Second, are you quacking? What kind of penguin are you anyway? Ugh. You're the worst. And you know what? Quit making accusations! I'm a great witch, I'm a nice witch, okay? You ate my house! I am a strong, independent woman who exercises agency in the direction and use of my powers, alright?" She tossed her hair and pinned Britta with a glare. "Finally, I showed up to help you out. Unless you want to keep yelling at me." Britta had lowered her eyes to the ground and raised her flippers protectively sometime after the second point. She had eaten her house. Britta heaved a sigh and eyed the witch from below a flipper and nodded slowly.

"Good. The thing is? You got nailed with a pre-set curse. So there's not a whole lot I can do. In order to break the curse, you've got to do something. A job. The task you've got to complete is the task you've got to complete, no Door #2, unfortunately. But at least I can tell you what it is. You run into anyone yet?" Britta nodded cautiously. "Okay, so, the first person you met? You have to help them find their true love. If it's any consolation? No matter how long it takes, you'll be the same age when you de-penguinify!" Cordelia finished with a sunny smile in place as Britta felt her heart sink. Find Annie's true love? How the hell was she going to do that?

"Cheer up! This could be fun! And you don't actually have to make them fall in love... Trust me, that'll happen whether they want it to or not. You just have to make sure he or she finds them. You're like Cupid. If he'd been a thieving penguin." She threw Britta a fake smile. Britta rolled her eyes again.

"Look, I think you got your point across – I was a jerk. Now I'm a penguin. I suck. Got it. You're saying I have to find my friend Annie's true love? As if true love even exists! It's just a concept invented by corporations and the patriarchy to sell an impossible dream to women so that we aspire to marriage and motherhood and don't shake the power structure that keeps-" Cordelia advanced toward her threateningly. "I don't even know where to start! Well, I guess I could start with Troy but..." Britta trailed off, uneasy, but unable to pinpoint why. She shook it off. "Okay, well, I guess I have to figure that out. Can I just ask, why a penguin?" Cordelia snorted.

"It wasn't me who made you into a penguin. That was all you. Look, think of it as... Your spirit animal or something. Something in the universe connected the dots and said, 'if you were an animal, you'd be a penguin.'" She studied Britta for a moment. "You want the reasons why?" Britta nodded. Cordelia sighed. "Fine." She yanked a feather, none too gently, from Britta's tummy and stared at it, as if reading the answer. "Oh, c'mon, give me a break! Ugh." She huffed and then made eye contact, exasperated. "Penguins are social creatures, they tend to congregate together, and they look out for one another. They're monogamous but totally cool with switching it up each breeding season and they're A-OK with same-sex couples. They're egalitarian in childrearing and... The universe apparently identifies all of those same qualities in you."

"Oh." Britta's chest puffed out. "Oh."

"Don't let it go to your head. You still waddle. And you'll keep doing it until you find your friend's true love. Good luck with that." Cordelia made to turn, as if she was leaving, when Britta huffed out a hurried 'wait!'

"I have two more questions! Please!" Cordelia rolled her eyes.

"Fine. Shoot."

"How will I know when I've found her true love? When I've succeeded?"

"You'll know. And you'll turn back when she figures it out. Second question, go, quick."

"Um... Why Cordelia Chase?" The witch grinned.

"Why not? She was hot, she was badass, and she fits in around these parts a lot better than my natural form. I'm not covered in warts or anything. But I kind of sparkle under these artificial lights. It's ridiculous. Anything else, dear?" Britta shook her head, flippers crossed behind her back. "Then I'm off. Take care, behave, and if you get high in the woods again, bring your own damned snacks, got it?" She pointed a finger accusingly at Britta, then sniffed dramatically and left the closet. Britta glanced at Annie's stop watch surprised to realize it was just past 3. She began reviewing what she knew about Annie's love life as she waited for her to come back.

Annie entered the closet cautiously, checking the hall surreptitiously before slipping inside. She aww'ed silently as she watched Britta with her head resting on a bent flipper, making a strikingly cute silhouette of Rodin's The Thinker pose. She quietly slid her phone out of her pocket and took a picture (or three!) and smiled.

"Britta?" Her voice was quiet but Britta jumped before waddling over for a hug. Unable to help herself, Annie cuddled her stroking the smooth back before drawing away. "Okay, so let's sort this out. We need a way to communicate. Clearly, talking isn't going to work. Maybe we can work out some kind of drawing system?" Britta managed to convey her disbelief, apparently, because Annie rushed to explain. "You have flippers, you could probably use paint... Without opposable thumbs, I'm not sure how else to do visuals."

Her comments were apologetic and Britta felt bad for seemingly putting all the responsibility on Annie and then reacting negatively. She nodded in what she hoped was an encouraging manner and Annie smiled.

"Great! Here, I grabbed some supplies. Let's try this out!" She pulled out a large roll of paper and a paint palate along with multiple bottles. Britta stared, entirely taken aback at Annie's neurotically over-preparedness before, once more, shrugging and waddling closer. Annie organized the materials, poured out some paints, and stepped back. Britta took a deep breath, shook her body out and then dipped a flipper into the brown paint and began.

Annie sat patiently while Britta painted and painted and then painted some more. Laying out stretch of paper after stretch of paper, it took a full twenty-odd minutes before she finished painting it all out for her. Britta waddled back and observed her work. She was no artist but she had done her share of graffiti and she thought her work held up well here. She took another deep breath and threw a flipper out in a gesture meant to urge Annie forward. She gazed at Britta without understanding for a moment before jumping up excitedly. Annie hurried forward and looked down.

"Um. Britta. Did you... Eat a gingerbread house?" Britta bounced with unadulterated joy and Annie's eyes widened incredulously. "Okay. Sure. Because that makes sense." She glanced at the next picture and closed her eyes briefly before reopening them and nodding. "And then the witch visited you. After you were a penguin." Britta nodded again. "And explained that she had..." Annie's head tilted to the side. "Hexed you?" Britta hugged her leg forgetting that her flippers were covered in paint. Annie looked down at her leg, now a lovely rainbow hue, sighed, and moved to the next picture.

"Okay, so you've been hexed. And to break the hex?" She looked down for confirmation, "You have to... Is that me?" Again, Britta nodded. "You have to find my love?" Britta was, quite literally, quivering with excitement. Annie had figured it out so fast and maybe psychology was her calling but clearly, she was also a budding artist! "Britta, how are we going to do that?" The little penguin deflating was a visible thing.

"Well... We'll just have to figure this out! One guy at a time." Annie side-eyed her. "One at time, right? " Britta raised her flipper threateningly. Annie shrunk back and raised her hands in an attempt at placating her. "Oh, c'mon, you referred to yourself as a motherflipping carnie-banging werewolf, Britta! How should I know what you would expect me to do in the pursuit of your humanity?" Only somewhat mollified, Britta waddled over to a corner and slumped down, her feet sticking out beyond the desk.

"I'm sorry, Britta. I'm not judging, I swear! But you're... Much more open about your sexual... Proclivities. And there's nothing wrong with that! But I'm not really prepared to do just anything yet. I mean, I will, for you, of course! But. You know. I just wanted to make sure. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. Or ruffled your feathers." Annie had lowered her voice substantially for the last part of her statement but Britta heard it. Her expression soured, for the second time that day, but she clambered to her feet and gently patted Annie's leg anyway. Sighing, she gestured toward the door with a flipper and Annie sighed in response, nodding. They shuffled out slowly, peering into the hallway, before heading into the great wide unknown.

They stood outside Study Room F, peeking in through the slated blinds. Noting that the room was still empty, Annie ushered Britta in ahead of her, making sure the door closed securely behind them. She moved around the room, closing the blinds as she went, before checking the hallway, and closing the other door as well. Moving back toward Britta, she reached into her backpack, and began pulling out paper and markers as Britta hovered impatiently at her knee. Done laying out her supplies, Annie reached down and lifted Britta into the chair beside her.

"So I was thinking, we'll make a list of all the guys at Greendale and go from there. We can play the odds, you know? I'll write their names, we can figure out how well we know them, compatibility... It'll help us keep track and narrow the list! And hopefully, it'll save us some time." She finished writing out Abed's name across a sheet of paper before turning to look at Britta. "What do you think?"

"That is a great idea, Annie. I'm impressed." Realizing Annie's friendly smile was quickly fading into a look of pained confusion, Britta huffed and bobbed her head enthusiastically, knowing Annie would understand the gesture better than the nonsensical quacking all of her words translated to. Britta got a pleased hum in return as Annie continued writing out names. Britta slumped into the chair, waiting for Annie to finish, feeling rather disconsolate. She was rather certain she was going to be a penguin until Annie died, at this rate. Who ever heard of meeting your soul mate or true love or whatever in community college? When you were 21? Really! Cordelia had set her up for failure. All because she'd been a little hungry during the camping trip... A throat being cleared got her attention and Britta shelved her unhappy thoughts to see Annie smiling at her again.

"Here are the guys I know the best at Greendale – we may as well start with them, right? Abed, Troy, Jeff, and... Pierce. Oh god, it's not Pierce, is it? What if it's Pierce?" Annie's breathing was getting heavier, her voice was rising in pitch, and her eyelashes fluttered madly. Britta pursed her lips and decided it was in their best interests to calm Annie down so she whapped her with a flipper. "Did I just get slapped by a penguin?" Britta nodded. "I probably deserved that." Annie inhaled deeply and nodded at Britta.

"Thanks. For... You know. Calming me down. It's not Pierce, though, right?" Her tone carried enough genuine fear that Britta considered it seriously for a moment. Yeah, she'd stay a penguin before she let Annie suffer that fate. She shook her head from side to side furiously and Annie exhaled gratefully. Leaning over, she hugged Britta with one arm before going back to the papers she had laid out. "So. Abed, Troy and Jeff. I really don't think it's Chang or the Dean, but... I included them too, just in case." A flipper raised to her chin, Britta looked at the names before her. With all due consideration given, she had to go with Troy. She pointed to his name, scrawled in orange, and nodded.

"Troy?" Annie's voice held doubt but she seemed on-board. "Okay. I'll talk to him... How are we going to know?" Annie watched as Britta tapped at her temple and then gestured at her own eyes. "You'll know. And you'll watch me?" Britta's bobbing penguin head was enough to dispel Annie's lingering uncertainty. She shrugged. "Alright. Where can you hide for now?" Scanning the room, Annie pointed at the cupboards lining one wall. "We can leave the door ajar, Troy won't notice..." Britta nodded resolutely. "Okay. Okay." Annie's nods weren't quite frantic but Britta wouldn't have described them as calm either. "Now we just have to get him here. I'll text him and, I guess, we'll see?" She looked at Britta apprehensively then took a deep breath, pulled out her phone and began typing.