Meredith was driving home from the hospital listening to the radio singing along with the song, and when the song ended she started to think about her own small family, her husband Derek and the little girl she loved with all her heart Laura. She parked her car a few blocks away from her apartment, and as soon as she opened her door, a putrid smell filled her nose. She started to walk down the road swinging her handbag feeling excited that in a few minutes she would open the door and Laura would jump into her arms and hug her tightly. Then Derek would walk down the hallway and passionately kiss her, those thoughts filled her mind until she looked at the stars and saw smoke filling the night sky. Meredith felt fear clutch her heart, she ran to where her apartment was and saw it engulfed with flames, she dropped her handbag and her feet started to run to the flaming building on autopilot until Meredith was stopped by strong arms holding her around the waist.

"Mam you can't go in there," a fireman dragged her away from the building, "where are they where is my family," Meredith struggled in the iron grip of the fireman.

"We found your husband he's unconscious, but he'll be fine."

"Where is my daughter," Meredith turned around and looked at the fireman's sympathetic face.

"We couldn't find all the people in there, i'm sorry."

Meredith struggled and fought for all she worth she kicked the fireman hard with the heel of her shoe and ran into the burning edifice, she could feel flames licking at her heels and she was already sweating buckets and coughing but she didn't stop think about her own safety for an instant. Meredith kept running until she came to the door that led to her daughter's bedroom and could see nothing except smoke she kept low to the floor and called out, "Laura."

"Mommy," a little voice said.

Meredith heard the roar of the flames drown out the girl's voice, "honey stay where you are mommy's coming."

"Help me mommy," the voice whimpered.

Meredith bent her left knee and kicked out with her right foot knocking down the door, her eyes burned with the smoke then she saw the outline of her daughter sitting in a corner coughing. She watched as she squirmed and slowly crawled to Merdith. Meredith bent down in the doorway holding out her arms, then the roof gave way and collapsed.

Meredith sat up in bed and felt her face covered in sweat she gazed at the darkness of her room then started to cry. A minute later Derek sat up in bed turned on the bedside light and held Meredith in her arms for a long time until she stopped crying, "I still can't believe it, I can't believe she's gone" Meredith whispered.

"I know Meri I miss her too more than anything," Derek stroked her hair softly kissing her head "but we'll get through this things will get better."

"I don't think I will ever move on, sometimes I wake up and I see her smiling at me and asking me what we're going to do today, and then the next minute she is gone it's just so... painful."

"Those are memories Meredith they're nice but that's all they are, she's in heaven, she's in a better place."

Meredith's sobs stifled, and she held Derek back lying down in her bed until they both fell asleep.

A few hours later Meredith's alarm buzzed and she got up to get dressed and get ready for work. This was her life now the fire had happened two years ago and Meredith was now thirty five while Derek was thirty six, they had moved to Seattle in the last twenty months trying to leave all their memories behind them. They both worked in the same hospital but they rarely saw each other, Derek had recently attained the position chief of neurosurgery while Meredith was becoming known among her colleagues for her intense work ethic. Meredith had grown to depend on her job more then she depended on Derek to make it through each day, it allowed her to forget about her past and her personal life when she was busy concentrating on looking after patients it made her feel normal.

She drove to the hospital and when she walked through the doors Arizona came from behind her and put a coffee into her hand, "hey Meredith we've just brought in a patient he was reported by witnesses to have been in a motorcycle accident and we're checking over his injuries the x-ray scans should be back this..."

Meredith stopped walking and looked at her hands, "you had another nightmare last night" Arizona whispered.

"It's nothing Arizona."

"Meredith you're not seeing your therapist anymore I know that, but if these bad dreams keep happening."

"I'm alright i'm here to do my job, let's check on our patient."

Several hours later and Meredith made notes on her clipboard when Miranda came into the room, "here are those x ray scans you asked for from looking at these myself the man has suffered at least a ruptured spleen and three broken ribs."

"Thank you Miranda" Meredith said taking them with a forced smile, "his arm has been fractured in several places."

"What places are those," Arizona said coming over "the um this bone right here" Meredith's finger tapped the chart, "that bone has a name you know Meredith" Arizona glared at Miranda, "Miranda take it easy on her she's not feeling well."

"If you're sick Meredith you should be home."

"Its nightmares Miranda," Arizona snapped.

Miranda flinched at Arizona's tone then she sighed and her hand went on Meredith's shoulder, "please don't" Meredith whispered "I just want to work."

Meredith stayed for as long as she could until her colleagues all banded together and insisted that she should go home and rest. Meredith checked her phone and saw five missed calls by Derek.

She dialled Derek's number and heard Derek's breathing hard on the other end, "Derek its okay nothing has happened, i've just been working late, i'm on my way home."

"Meredith i'm just glad to hear your alright, i've made a beautiful dinner for you come home soon before it gets cold."

"I will it sounds wonderful see you then," Meredith closed her mobile and began the walk to her car. She slowly drove home listening to the radio feeling herself relaxing, then without a thought her foot slammed on the brake. She took a deep breath then her eyes blinked and she got out of her car and ran to the front she bended over and with one trembling hand turned over a small figure, "oh my god" Meredith whispered. It was a small girl still and silent her eyes were closed and Meredith couldn't hear any sounds from her. Meredith's hands desperately searched her neck and tiny wrists for a pulse and found it beating weakly in her hands, "its going to be okay" Meredith said to herself over and over as she ran to her car. "Ambulance urgently required Bluegum lane, small girl has been hit by a car." Meredith closed her phone and walked back to the little girl she saw nothing. Meredith looked around and couldn't see anything but downpour "where are you" Meredith called the sound of rain was all she could hear and then the arrival of an ambulance.