Warning: VERY mature content - slash & language (if you're not a fan of slash or Snarry, turn back now!)

Chapter 9

Harry sat on the far side of the lake, stretched out on his robe. His eyes were closed and he was enjoying the heat and the breeze of the early summer air. He started when he heard the voice behind him; he hadn't heard anyone approach.

"Well?" prodded Snape.

Harry's eyes opened and he twisted his neck back to stare up into Snape's glittering black eyes.

"How did they go?" Snape continued impatiently.

"Fine, I think," Harry told him. "I'm pretty sure I aced the written portions of everything and most of the practicals went all right. My Potion turned out a bit more royal blue than cobalt, but I think I've at least passed."

Snape nodded.

"When will they send the scores?" Harry asked him.

"Around the same time they sent OWL scores. Late July, most likely."

"When will you find out how we did?" Harry finally turned his whole body to face Snape so he didn't get a crick in his neck.

"Not until sometime in late August. They have to deal with appeals and don't publicly post the results until that process has ended," Snape explained.

"Hmm," Harry mused, looking down at the grass and plucking a nearby blade. "Do you think I could come and tell you what I got as soon as I hear?"

"Of course, Harry. I would like that very much. You are always welcome here." Snape smiled warmly, if a little sadly.

"Will you be here over the summer? Is this where you stay?"

"I live here, Harry. Yes, I will be here. You can Apparate to Hogsmeade and walk up or you are welcome to Floo directly into my quarters. Simply fire-call first to make sure I am available."

"What about Spinner's End?" Harry asked him suddenly. "Why don't you live there?"

"Spinner's End? My parents' cottage? I sold that when I became a professor here. I have no desire to go back there. I prefer Hogwarts."

Harry nodded in agreement. "I can understand that." He looked back up at Snape. "Thank you, sir, for everything these past few months. I – I'm not sure I'd have come out of it all right if you hadn't been there for me. I know I've been a bit of a berk to put up with – and I know what I did was far beyond stupid, but I can't find it in me to be sorry that I did it. And I appreciate you not trying to force me to go back and undo it. So thanks, for being there for me."

Snape's face registered an emotion that Harry couldn't quite make out. "I have always been here for you, Harry, and I shall continue to be as long as you need me or want me to be."

Harry felt an odd rush of emotion at hearing that, and once again felt insanely grateful that his impulsive decision had worked out so seemingly well. Snape turned his head to look back at the castle.

"We should go," he said, turning back to face Harry. "The feast will be starting soon, and I'm sure you want to spend as much time with your friends as you can this last evening."

Harry nodded as he pushed himself to his feet and picked up his robe, shaking off the grass and dirt. He and Snape walked up to the castle in silence, which wasn't as awkward as Harry thought it would have been before, when Snape had hated him. Right before they walked through the entrance doors, Snape paused and put his hand on Harry's shoulder. Harry stopped and turned to look at Snape, who gave his shoulder a light squeeze before giving him a half smile and dropping the hand. Harry returned the smile a little hesitantly, but with genuine feeling.

"Well?" Harry's mother eyed him expectantly. "How are they?"

Harry grinned over the parchment. "Got all four – O's in everything except Transfiguration – got an E on that."

James clapped Harry on the shoulder. "Well done, son. Now you've got some work to do, only a few weeks before things will start to fill up."

Harry nodded. With everything that had gone on, he hadn't given much thought to what he would do after his exams. He thought about being an Auror, not sure if that's what he'd wanted to do in this timeline.

"Can I go tell Sna…Professor Snape my scores?" Harry asked his parents.

Lily furrowed her brow in confusion. "Severus? Of course. I'm sure he'd like that. You can fire-call him to see if he's in his quarters."

Harry refrained from shaking his head in disbelief. He still had trouble believing that his father wasn't a mortal enemy of Snape's and his parents weren't tying him down and preventing him from going to see the man. Harry almost snorted – he couldn't even believe that he wanted to go see the man.

"Professor?" Harry called into the fire. He heard someone shuffling over to the fireplace.

"Harry?" Snape's head came into view. "I assume this is about your NEWT scores?"

Harry nodded. "Are you busy? I mean, I'd like to show them to you."

Snape smiled. "And you're not sure if I want to have you near me. Got it. Yes, Harry, come through. I have anxiously been awaiting news of your scores."

With that, Snape stepped away from the fire to make room for Harry to enter properly. Harry turned back to his parents, who were having a conversation at the breakfast table. "I'll go see him now, if that's all right," he asked gingerly.

James nodded.

"I'll be back soon. I won't – I mean, I won't be long," Harry stammered.

"You're of age, Harry, no need to abide by any sort of curfew," James let one corner of his mouth draw up into a smile. He exchanged a glance with Lily who seemed to become very interested in her eggs.

"Right. I mean, all right. Thanks." Harry turned back to the fireplace and stepped in to Floo to Snape's quarters.

"Hmmm," Snape drawled as Harry stumbled out of the fireplace. "I would have thought that being a singularly gifted Seeker would have graced you with better coordination."

Harry flushed. "Sorry, sir."

"For goodness' sake, Harry, I was teasing you. And please, don't call me 'sir' anymore, or 'professor'. I have missed you calling me Severus for the better half of this year."

Harry wasn't sure if he'd truly annoyed Snape now or what was going on. He decided to play it safe. "I'm sorry, erm, Severus," Harry stumbled over the name, feeling oddly disrespectful as it came out.

Snape shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Sit down," he waved at the couch. "Is that them?" he pointed at the parchment in Harry's hand. Harry nodded. "May I see them? Or would you prefer to simply tell me?"

Harry handed over the sheet and watched as Snape's – Severus' eyes roved over the scores. He found himself hoping Sna – Severus would be pleased with his achievements. The longer Sn – Severus took looking at the scores, though, the more Harry's stomach twisted in doubt. Maybe S – Severus would be unhappy that he hadn't managed all O's. His stomach plummeted with the thought of seeing disappointment in Severus' eyes. Would he regret helping Harry? Would things go back to the way they were before Harry had changed everything? Harry didn't think he could endure that – it had been so nice – wonderful, even, to have a relationship with Severus that hadn't consisted of loathing and hate. Why was he taking so long? What was he staring at? Why was…"

"Harry?" Severus snapped Harry out of his tumultuous thoughts. His hand rested on Harry's knee, which was absently bouncing. "Harry, what's wrong?" Harry snapped his eyes down to Severus' hand and back up to his eyes. "You sound like you're hyperventilating." Harry's eyes flicked down to the parchment and then back up to Severus expectantly. "Oh," Severus smiled and took his hand away from Harry's leg. "I apologize – well done, Harry. These are excellent. I am so very pleased for you." Severus handed the sheet back to Harry. "I am especially happy to see such a quality Potions score. It seems our extra work was not wasted."

"Thank you, Severus," Harry only stumbled a little over the name this time. "I'd have failed for sure if it hadn't been for you – and Hermione." Harry snorted. "She probably got ten NEWTs – I'm sure I'll have an owl from her waiting when I get home."

Severus chuckled. "I don't doubt it." There was a silence. "Would you like tea?"

"Sure, I mean, please," Harry agreed. Severus stood and made his way into the kitchen, coming out a few moments later with the tea tray. He poured them both a cup and they sipped in silence before Harry couldn't stand it anymore. "What did I want to do?" he blurted out. "I mean, before, I wanted to be an Auror – is that what I want to do now? Did I ever talk with you about it?"

Severus concentrated. "A bit. More with Sirius, I think. I never heard you mention being an Auror, but that doesn't mean you don't want to be one. Are you thinking of applying? Your scores would certainly qualify you."

"Maybe – what did I talk with you about? What did I tell you?" Harry pressed.

Severus shifted on the couch. "You once mentioned teaching. You also seemed intrigued with the idea of apprenticeship. And you never said no to someone proposing Quidditch."

"Teaching?" Harry was surprised. "Teaching what?"

"Mmm, you always enjoyed Defense," Severus paused. "And Potions."

Harry's mental jaw dropped. "What about apprenticeships? Who did I seem interested in?"

Severus stared at him unblinking until Harry felt a blush creep up his cheeks and he looked away. "Me," Severus stated flatly.

Harry's stomach started fluttering as if his breakfast had suddenly started up a marching band. "I – I seemed," Harry stammered, "in-interested in y-you?"

It was Severus' turn to look away, answering Harry softly. "For quite a while, now. Perhaps since the end of your fifth year. You began asking me about it then. I'm not sure if that's when the…idea…first occurred to you or if it had before then, but…" Severus trailed off.

Harry forced himself to look back at Severus. "Do you know I'm gay?" he finally choked out.

Severus continued to stare at the fireplace. "Yes."

"Did I tell you or did you find out some other way?"

"You told me." Severus' gaze remained fixed on some intriguing point on the mantle.

"When?" Harry's voice dropped to a whisper.

"The end of your fifth year," Severus answered, equally as low.

There was a pause that seemed to last an eon while Harry stared at Severus and Severus stared at the bricks across the room.

"Did we – I mean, did I ever – did we ever," Harry stuttered, blushing furiously.

"No!" Severus finally looked back at Harry. "No, of course not. Of course not."

Harry exhaled in relief. He thought he saw Severus' face fall a fraction. "I wasn't before, you know. I was in love with Ginny. I didn't know – Hermione told me. It was odd, at first. Still odd, I suppose. She said I wasn't with – with anyone. I don't remember being with anyone."

There was another awkward pause as they stared at each other, Harry's heart beating like a racehorse.

"Do you live here with anyone?" Harry finally found the courage to ask.

"No," Severus answered. "I am not currently in a relationship at all. I have not been for quite some time."

"Oh," Harry said lamely.

Severus began speaking again very tentatively. "I had hoped, perhaps one day, when you came of age, that we might, that you might – I hoped I had read you correctly. And then you took that fall and I learned what you thought of me – of before. I knew that…I knew then that you would no longer – that we would never. I know how you feel about me, Harry. I know I'm still that man who hated you. I understand." He smiled thinly. "I cannot pretend it does not disappoint me, though."

"But you're not," Harry protested, trying to make sense of his world that suddenly seemed to have tipped upside down. "You're not him anymore. Not to me, I – I do want…I'm not sure when I realized it, but…all your help this year, and – when you would do little things like smile at me, or squeeze my shoulder I – I just, I felt it. I didn't realize what it was until now, but…I have the good memories, too. I have them, too. I remember, too. I do want it. I do," he tried desperately to say something that would bring the light back into Severus' eyes.

Severus turned to set down his tea on the end table next to the couch and Harry did the same. When they both turned around, Severus had an appraising look in his eyes – a hesitant look. He slid himself over so he was closer to Harry, so he didn't have to reach. He looked at Harry with such intensity that Harry was unable to look away. He saw Severus' fingers out of the corner of his eye reaching up to make contact with his cheek. He felt the fingertips ghost along his jaw line and his skin burned like it had been set on fire – a deep, lovely fire. He stopped breathing. Severus held Harry's gaze ferociously as he brought one finger under Harry's chin and tilted his head up slightly. Severus' eyes were searching Harry's – what for, Harry didn't know – but he apparently found it because in the next instant Severus brought his lips to Harry's and they touched with the slightest pressure.

Harry felt like a switch had been flipped. He hadn't 'felt' gay before. His mind was registering that Hermione told him he was – he even remembered telling her himself. But he hadn't felt gay. Until now. Now he knew without a doubt that this was right. That this was who he was. That he had always wanted this – wanted Severus. He sighed with a smile and leaned into Severus' lips.

Harry's movement brought a groan to the back of Severus' throat and he brought his other hand up to cup the back of Harry's neck, pressing their mouths even closer together. Severus gently slipped his tongue across Harry's lips, which parted at his touch, and suddenly their tongues came together like they had minds of their own. Harry's whole body was on fire. He didn't know when it had happened, but his hands were wrapped around Severus, practically clawing at him.

"Want," Harry panted when he broke away for air. "You – I – please…" he was unable to put together a coherent thought.

Severus trailed kisses until he reached Harry's ear. "Are you sure?" he whispered.

"Oh gods, yes," Harry moaned. "Please…"

Severus moved back, standing and pulling Harry with him. Once they were off the couch, they resumed their exploration of each other more fully – hands roaming, mouths nipping, sucking sensitive skin. Harry threw his head back to give Severus more space to work with and he felt himself go weak in the knees when Severus bit gently on a particularly sensitive place on his neck.

"I believe we should move this escapade," Severus growled. "For safety reasons. I'll not have you passing out on me."

Harry nodded his head.

"Come," Severus directed, fully aware of the double entendre he'd just issued. He dragged Harry to his bedroom and pushed him against the bed, fingers deftly moving to take off shirts, pants, and any other offending clothing. As they both lost items, hands and bodies came together to discover new textures: nipples, coarse hair, muscles. Harry was assaulted with sensory overload. In the back of his mind, he was sure Severus had done this before, but to Harry it was all new – and so overwhelming. In such a good way.

"Please," Harry finally begged again.

So swiftly he felt like he was falling over, Severus maneuvered them both horizontally onto the bed, pinning Harry beneath him. He could feel Severus' prick pressing into his hip and he was painfully aware of his own arousal against Severus' thigh. His gasps and moans were swallowed by Severus' mouth as their lips crushed against each other. They both ground their bodies together and Harry finally had to push Severus away with as much force as he could muster.

"Stop!" Harry breathed. Severus froze and pulled back, face laden with dejection. "No, I mean, I'm going to come if you don't stop – I – I want it to last a bit longer than this," Harry pulled a renewed Severus back in for another kiss. Before he knew it, Severus was trailing kisses down his chest, sucking his nipples and making him writhe in ecstasy. Severus ventured lower and lower until he was laving at Harry's groin and his inner thighs. Harry had the sheets fisted in his hands as if they had somehow displeased him and he arched sharply off the bed as Severus took him into his mouth.

"Fuck!" Harry screamed. His body was exploding. The feel of Severus' mouth – the wetness, the heat, the tongue – Harry thought he might actually die. He realized he was babbling incoherently and Severus began to suck in earnest. Harry screamed as he came, bright lights bursting behind his eyes as his body spasmed in release. Severus kept Harry in his mouth until the shudders subsided and then dragged himself back up to Harry for more kisses. Harry could feel Severus' need along his leg as he made his way toward the pillows.

"What about," Harry breathed between kisses, not fully recovered from his experience, "you? Do you want," he squirmed to try and reciprocate.

"No," Severus murmured into Harry's neck, keeping him in place. "Not that," and Harry felt Severus' fingers trail down as far as they would go. Harry's breathing sped up again, already starting to harden even though he'd just come. "Would you like to? Do you want me to? We don't have to," Severus whispered as he outlined Harry's ear with his tongue.

"Oh yes," Harry begged, moving to press harder against Severus' fingers. "Fuck, yes, please, oh gods, I want you inside me, Severus," Harry pleaded.

Severus summoned the lube and quickly coated his fingers. He went slowly so Harry wouldn't be quite as sore. Harry cried out as the first finger entered him – burning a bit before he was able to bear down and relax. Soon he was writhing against the finger and he let out a moan of discontent when it was withdrawn. He yelped when it came back with a friend, but was soon mumbling incoherencies as Severus scissored his fingers and stroked a spot of pleasure so strong Harry nearly passed out. After a third finger had satisfactorily stretched him, Harry demanded, "Now!"

Severus moved between Harry's legs and let Harry wrap himself around Severus. Harry was burning with anticipation as he felt Severus position himself at his entrance. Slowly, painfully, and gloriously, Severus entered Harry. It felt like he was on fire, but Harry bit his lip and rode out the pain. Finally, Severus had completely sheathed himself and Harry realized he was achingly hard again. Severus slowly began to move, drawing out of Harry and pushing back in. After a few strokes, Harry had had enough and he began to rock his hips in desperation. Severus took the hint and sped up his pace, bringing one hand up to stroke Harry in rhythm. He supported himself over Harry on his other arm and as they moved together, his hair brushed Harry's face. Harry heard Severus whispering endearments and words of pleasure as they pitched together and Harry felt his climax build and then he cried out Severus' name as he spurted all over the hand around him and his own belly. His muscles clenched and he felt Severus emptying into him as well. Severus shouted out Harry's name and then collapsed atop of his lover, sweaty from the exertion. He pulled out of Harry and rolled to the side to prevent crushing him.

"Holy Fuck," Harry said, running his hand through his damp hair.

"I'm not sure it was holy," Severus said dryly as his breathing slowed, "But it was most definitely a fuck."

They entwined their bodies and stroked each other gently in the silence – this time a comfortable one. Finally, Harry spoke.

"I keep waiting for it," he said into Severus' chest.

"For what?" Severus asked, kissing Harry's head softly.

"For me to find out something awful has happened and I have to go back and undo this."

"Mmm," Severus made a non-committal noise.

"I don't want to undo this. I've never been this happy."

"Perhaps," Severus mused, "have you thought about the possibility that nothing awful has happened?"

"What?" Harry pulled back to look at Severus.

"Did you ever think that maybe this was the way things ought to have been and that other life was some sort of cosmic blunder?"

Harry blinked, nonplussed.

"Perhaps your decision was more right than you know. Perhaps it was just some way of time getting back on track. A course-correction of sorts."

"You're brilliant, you know," Harry smiled.

"I do," Severus kissed his forehead. "That is one of the many reasons you love me, I'm sure."

"Pity I'm not nearly as much of a genius. You'll have to find some other reason to love me back."

"I think I might be able to manage that," Severus smiled wryly.

They held each other in silence for another amount of time.

"Thank you," Severus finally said, pulling Harry closer to him.

"For what?" Harry's voice was muffled.

"For saving me. I know you said I…died…before. Thank you for going back and saving me. I'm glad that you did."

"So am I, Severus," Harry wriggled closer to the warm body of his lover. "So am I."

::FINIS::