Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious

"Okay," Tori said, "Have you seen Jade"

"Yeah she's right- no she isn't," Beck mumbled, "Well I'm sure she probably just went to the bathroom or something"
Beck saw that Jade dropped her diary. He didn't even know that Jade kept a diary.

"She dropped this," Tori said

Beck put it in his bag intending to give it back to Jade but first he wanted to see what was in there. Jade had been acting moddy lately... well even for Jade.
((hours later))
Beck decided he would read the diary backwards and turned to the last article.

Finally some relief. He's been bugging me all month about what's wrong what's wrong what's wrong. Now he's ignoring me. I'm in Vega's room writing this. PS I borrowed her new MP3 player- Jade

"Well this doesn't tell me very much," Beck thought to himself and turned the page backwards.

I'm thinking about killing myself- Jade

That sent a chill down Beck's spine. He immediately called Jade. He had to hear her voice. It was a huge relief to him when she picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey Jade," Beck said, "I just am calling to tell you I love you. Do me a favor. Come over to the RV. We have to talk and by talk I mean like have a conversation."

"I know what talk means," Jade said, "I'll come over as soon as my parents fall asleep."

"Why do you have to wait," Beck asked not loving the idea of her waiting.

"Cause I got 'grounded' for not pulling a B+ or better on my science test. I needed a B+ to pass science. What the monkeys does science have to do with life anyway?"

"I don't know," Beck said even though he did know, "I love you"

"Love you too," Jade said and hung up. Beck turned back a page.

When Beck got mad at me today it hurt so bad but worst of all because he was so cold afterwards. Can't he see I'm going through a really tough time? Doesn't he care anymore? He's the only person I can trust so why would he get mad at me? It doesn't make sense? I feel like there is no more joy in my life. There hasn't been for a few weeks now... about a month- Jade
Beck sent a text message to Jade saying he was sorry he got mad at her. She sent one back saying whatever. He said I really am sorry and she said whatever... it's cool I guess."
He turned the page.

Everything in me says kill myself. my life is useless. It's full of ick and all that so I'm better off just killing myself. Who would miss me? My mom and Beck are the only ones who love me. Ava has been dead for 3 years today. I miss her so much it's not even funny. she was the only one who understood me. She was my twin. She was my best friend and then she had the nerve to die. How dare she die? How dare she? Didn't she know how much I needed her? Doesn't she know how much I love her? Doesn't she understand? I want my sister back!-Jade PS on a positive note VEGA got in trouble today. That was so cool.
The doorbell rang and it was Jade. Beck was so relieved that she was alright well alive anyway.
((20 minutes later))

"YOU READ MY DIARY," she exclaimed annoyed.

"And I'm glad I did," Beck said,"Jade why didn't you tell me what you were going through"

"I don't know," Jade said, "I was upset. I was hurting... still am and I really didn't want to deal with it. Maybe I should get mad at you for reading my diary"

"No because I did that because I was worried about you. Why would you want to kill yourself?"

"I don't know what else to do! I don't know how else to stop the hurt Beck. It gets worse with each passing day."

"Jade had I known-"

"I know," she said, "I don't want to kill myself but I don't want to hurt anymore"
He walked over to her carefully and wrapped his arms around her. She didn't react. She had no energy to react.

"You're not alone," he told her, "We're going to get through this together"

"I'm not strong enough," she said, "The things that have been happening keep replaying in my mind... especially the last part which is always the worst. I feel like I'm drowning in my own tears."

"Hold on to me," he said, "I can swim"