A/N: Tag to 9x05 Safe Harbor - so naturally spoilers for that episode.

This is slash, so if you don't like it, don't read it!

Disclaimer: Nothing's mine.

Misleading the Way

„Jeth?"

Tony looked up at his lover from where he was lying with his head on the other man's thighs. Jethro eyed him curiously as he had been sure that the younger man had already fallen asleep halfway into some black and white movie that he had insisted to watch.

"I think we have to do something to divert the probies."

"Divert them from what?"

"You know… from us. I think Ziva's ninja observation skills are slowly kicking in or something. I think she knows we're up to something."

"Yeah," Jethro answered slowly, realizing that the youngest member of their team had in fact been staring at them more often than usually. "What are you planning to do, then?"

"Dunno," Tony shrugged and sat up. "Maybe… why don't you call them over the weekend about nonsense to convey the message that you're bored and always working and stuff? That'll throw them off course for a little while."

"You think that'll work?"

"Well, it's worth a try, right?" Tony replied, leaning in and stole a kiss before he yawned widely. "And I'll go into work early on Monday and hide the stinky stuff you used to eat all the time before I came around and showed you what it tastes like to have an original DiNozzo-lasagna once in a while."

Jethro snorted and was about to retort that that 'stinky stuff' was actually tasting only half as bad as it smelled but Tony had already leaned into him and was pressing his lips against Jethro's and as he was hardly ever one to resist him, he kissed him back fiercely. Tony was right about thing, though, and it wasn't just the DiNozzo-lasagna but everything that Tony had brought into his home. He hadn't thought that a man, let alone DiNozzo, would be able to fill his lonely and stoic house and heart with so much joy and happiness. Consequently, he didn't exactly feel bad about not telling Ziva, McGee or Abby about them if it meant that he'd keep Tony and himself safe.

-x-x-x-x-

Tony smiled to himself as he exited the elevator early on Monday morning. His plan seemed to be working flawlessly, the whole office was smelly and he had to bite back a grin as he saw Ziva and McGee searching the trashcans for the source of the evil smell. He let them complain about the calls from Gibbs over the weekend and had to bite his tongue in order not to smile broadly at them, remembering the time when Jethro had called Tiny Tim when they had been about to take a shower together and Tony had bitten down on Jeth's sensitive skin where his neck met his shoulder, causing him to groan deep in his chest but had still managed to disguise it as a yawn.

"I mean don't get me wrong, I love my work," McGee's voice reached his ears again, drawing him back into the present. "I'm just not married to it, you know."

Tony slyly grinned at him, a thought suddenly popping into his head... Yeah, that would throw them off the course alright. Plus, it would really piss off Gibbs, too… So, perfect plan.

"Wait," he said. "I think I have a solution."

"A pet for Gibbs?" Ziva suggested reluctantly, the doubt clearly palpable in her voice. "A new hobby?"

Tony furrowed a brow before he shook his head. They were so innocent sometimes.

"A new woman!" he finally declared enthusiastically and was just about to elaborate when a voice from behind startled him.

"That is the last thing he needs."

Tony turned around now, a smile on his lips. Borin. Of course, she would say that because, well, she was one of the few people that actually knew about Gibbs and him. She had run into them on a quiet Sunday afternoon in the park, when the two of them had been lulled into a false sense of security and had held hands. Their secret was safe with her, though, so Tony's smile got bigger now, realizing that, if Borin was only half as cool as Tony thought she was, she would surely play along with him. She gave him a wink as he tilted his head ever so slightly as if to size her up and she nodded almost imperceptibly.

Oh, this was going to be good.

He let Gibbs play on with the charade as he grabbed the stinky smelly food from his drawer and actually took a bite of it, causing even Tony to wince internally. Seriously, how did the guy do that? But he wouldn't go astray with his plan. So he deliberately hung back until Borin and Jethro were out of earshot before he continued.

"A little playmate for Gibbs?" he said now, eyeing the two probies.

"What Borin and Gibbs?" Tim offered.

"No, not so sure," Ziva chimed in and Tony let her babble on about the two of them never working because he had succeeded – he had planted the thought into their minds and he was determined to let it thrive there, too.

A little later that day, as they were working the crime scene, Tony decided to take the ploy a little further.

"I think Gibbs and Borin would make a great couple. Just think of the fun they'd had together giving each other head slaps."

Ziva shook her head, grinning at him before she answered, apparently still not onboard the whole Bibbs-ship. "Well, head slaps are not very romantic, Tony."

"Well," Tony said, vaguely remembering the last one he's gotten early that morning when he had tried to kiss Gibbs in the elevator. "They can be – in the right context."

And they weren't only romantic but sexy as hell, too. But he wouldn't tell Ziva that, of course.

Apparently annoyed, Ziva tried to distract him now, saying something about the life boat but Tony wouldn't give in so easily this time because, well, this was actually fun. He asked Ducky, sure that he would want Gibbs to get laid, too, but the old ME apparently wasn't liking the idea of Borin and Gibbs together, either.

"So nobody's with me on Team Bibbs?"

"No," Borin once again crept up on him from behind.

"We can change the name," he said now, smirking at her and she winked again, clearly amused this time.

"No, you can change the subject, DiNozzo."

Damn. So, she wasn't really on board after all. And it could have been so much fun. But well, one more try perhaps?

"At least let him grill you a steak at his fireplace while watching black and white television. It's more charming than you'd think," he added for good measure, realizing that he had just told her their exact date from Friday night.

"I'll pass," Borin answered now, apparently almost desperately trying to get them to work on the case and Tony was willing to give in for the moment and focus again when she continued. "You know what? I do have a list of girlfriends that might make good candidates."

Tony tilted his head, grinning at her, hoping that Ziva would misinterpret it as genuine interest and not as what it was. He was interested in it alright but in a whole different context. The way Borin had said girlfriends had made it pretty clear in Tony's mind and judging by the way she was still smirking at him, his suspicion might not have been so far off.

"They can't just be good," Tony replied causing Ziva to throw him a look that nearly made him laugh. Oh, this was so good indeed.

"Don't worry, they can be bad," Borin said now and Tony really had to bite his tongue now not say anything, not to laugh out loud at Ziva's confused look as she followed their conversation, her gaze turning from Borin to him as if she was watching a tennis match.

Tony was about to retort something but Jethro had appeared and remembering that the guy still had no clue what was going on in Tony's mind, or at least not the whole clue, he let the comment slide for the moment.

-x-x-x-x-

Later that day, Tony was still strangely elated as McGee and he were browsing through Borin's list of (ex-?) girlfriends. He had genuine fun at the moment and McGee was the perfect mouse in his game of cat and. He seemed to like the idea of playing matchmaker for their boss and Tony happily complied because, really, that would make them seem less suspicious. He had just said something about wanting to see bikini photos - just to hold up his playboy-image, of course - as Borin walked in again.

"How's operation G-Date going?"

And that had him laugh alright – on the inside at least. G-Date, genius. How come he hadn't come up with it? He started to complain about the not-normalness of her friends and once again, she played along, even as Gibbs walked in, talking about the case, causing Tony to make a mental note to send her flowers or something once this was over.

This was just so priceless.

-x-x-x-x-

They had continued to search for a perfect woman for Gibbs the next few hours and Tony was really satisfied that he hadn't slipped up once, had even managed to throw in his playboy personality once in a while, had 'bent over DiNozzo'd' for Borin, even throwing Vance off course – whatever course he might have been on. All in all, it was perfect. He still didn't know though, whether Jethro had already caught up on what he was doing but the looks that he had thrown him whenever they had had a couple of seconds for themselves were telling him that he was at least amused about what he had been doing all day.

The 'DiNozzo put your pants on' comment, though, nearly pushed him over the edge, remembering all the times when Gibbs had actually wanted to pull them off. He felt his cheeks flush and McGee's eyes on him for a moment but was sure that he had mistaken his red cheeks as embarrassment for sure.

-x-x-x-x-

Later that night, in the glory aftermath of yet another solved case, the team plus Borin was huddled around the plasma, looking at the 'perfect' woman for Gibbs. Tony had to admit that she was beautiful and would probably be a good fit for his lover, too. But well… the things you do to hide the truth, right?

"What's she's doing up there?" Gibbs gruff voice came from behind them and they turned around, staring at him for a moment before Tony dare-devil-ishly took the floor.

"Boss, we found the perfect woman for you and we would like you to ask her out."

Oh, Gibbs would get back at him for this later but Tony didn't care at the moment, he was having a field day with this.

"Who?" Gibbs retorted, catching his eye and gave him a small wink, so small in fact that Tony was almost sure that he had imagined it after all. "Dustyn? Nice lady."

Huh? Tony stared at him. Did he actually know her?

"Did you read that on the screen?" he asked now, desperately trying to repress the strange feeling of jealousy that was boiling up somewhere from the pit of his stomach.

"No," Gibbs replied, shaking his head. "I dated her."

"So, what was wrong with her, Boss?" McGee suddenly chimed in again, the disappointment clearly palpable in his voice and Tony felt the sudden splinter of guilt at the genuine concern from Tim's side. Shouldn't he have been playing him like that after all?

"Nothing, she's perfect," Gibbs interrupted his train of thought.

Wait, what?

How could a woman be perfect for Gibbs? No one could possibly connect with him like Tony did… right? They had fallen so easily into their relationship that Tony found it hard to believe that there might be someone else out there for the older guy that could fit the way they did, even if only to some extent. Well, minus Shannon that was but Tony had accepted and embraced that fact long ago. This was different anyway.

He stared at Gibbs a moment longer, the ping of jealously boiling right under the surface now. But then, Gibbs caught his eye for a moment and Tony couldn't help but smile then, as he realized that he hadn't been the only one who had been playing people today.

"Perfect…What happened?" Borin asked now and Tony was on the verge of hitting her because she effectively had broken the eye contact between Jethro and him – even if only for a moment.

"There's nothing more boring than perfect," Gibbs replied, laughing, turning pink in the face ever so slightly before he sent them all home.

-x-x-x-x-

"You're not mad, right?" Tony asked when Gibbs finally walked through the front door an hour later.

"Nah," Jethro just replied, flopping down on the couch next to him. "Though you could have told me, you know."

"I know," Tony said, placing a soft kiss on the other man's lips before he continued. "It kinda went out of hand. But it was fun."

"I could see that."

They sat in silence for a few moments with Jeth wrapping his arm around Tony's shoulders, just listening to their own combined breathing.

"So, you're saying, I'm not perfect?" Tony asked suddenly, remembering Gibbs' earlier statement, a playful pout on his face.

"Nobody is. And I don't want you to be perfect either. I just want you, the not-so-perfect and yet perfect-for-me Tony. Think you can manage that?"

"Absolutely."

"Good," Jethro said now before he hit him upside his head rather softly.

"What was that for then?" Tony replied sullenly, rubbing the spot where Gibbs' hand had just connected with his head.

"Nothing. Just you know… Head slaps can be romantic in the right context… or so I've heard."

A/N: Let me know what you think, please!