Hello, people! I have a confession, I'm not trying to create some literary work of art. I'm just having fun, and I hope you have fun reading it, too. I watched Durarara! when it first aired, and I just got the Aniplex DVD's this August, so I've just got DRRR! on the brain and wanted to try writing a story for it. I feel kind of guilty, because there are sooooo many Shizuo and Izaya fics already, but hopefully this one will be a little unique and worth reading just for funzies. It's kind of some strange twist on Beauty and the Beast, I guess. Enjoy!

-letters

Shizuo sighed deeply, as he stood smoking outside an upscale department store in Shinjuku, his arms heavily laden with shopping bags from the numerous stops they had already made. This really wasn't the way he had wanted to spend his Sunday, but Hisa had insisted she was almost ready to go home...about twenty times over the past five hours. He glanced at his watch. It was almost 17:00. He'd have to get home within the hour to get ready for work. Maneuvering around all the bags, he pulled his cell phone from his back jean pocket and dialed her number.

"Shizuo!" her voice sounded light and airy, and he could hear the enormous clamor of women gaggling in the background. "You would not believe the sale they are having, today! You really should come in; you know I've been meaning to get you a new suit for when we have dinner with the wedding party!"

"It'll have to wait," he twisted his cigarette butt until the lit end fell to the ground and he smothered it with his shoe. "I have to work in two hours, remember?"

"Oh, no! You should have told me!" she half whined into the receiver. Shizuo wrinkled up his nose a little indignantly. He was pretty sure he'd mentioned it a few times. He could feel a familiar sense of annoyance rising, but quickly stomped it down. "Well, my love, just take the bags back to your place. I'll pick them up in the morning, kay-kay?"

"Sure thing. I'll see you tomorrow then," he forced himself to sound cheerful.

"And don't forget about your appointment at 10:00!" Hisa chirped.

"What?" he tried to stop his voice from dropping to a growl. It came dangerously close anyhow.

"Shizuo!" her voice suddenly took on a very chastising tone. "You know you have an appointment with Dr. Shinra every Monday morning. You can't get better unless you keep up with the therapy! And don't you dare miss it again!" That last bit came out in a hiss.

"I know, I know," Shizuo ground out. "I'll be there. I promise."

"Good! See you then, my love! Ta-ta~!" She hung up without waiting for his goodbye. Shizuo sighed heavily again and closed the phone to begin his walk back to the train station. That's when his stomach growled.

'Guess I really didn't have a decent lunch...' he thought. He glanced about and saw a small sushi bar where there wasn't too much of a line. Deciding he didn't want to deal with drunks at the bar all night on an empty stomach after a day of 'shopping', Shizuo made a beeline toward the tiny shop. Emerging moments later with plastic container full of a wide assortment of sushi, he resumed his walk home, popping a couple of pieces in his mouth ever so often. The delicious, fresh flavors soothed his irritable mood with every chew. It wasn't that he wasn't happy about marrying Hisa. In fact, he was quite sure he was looking forward to it. The sooner all this wedding nonsense she was completely obsessed with was over, the better. In fact, if he'd of known just how troublesome the whole affair would be, he probably would have never gotten engaged to begin with. But what's done is done, and Shizuo was a man of his word. Once he proposed and her parents begrudgingly gave their consent, there was no going back. He found comfort in his honor and consistency rather than his immediate happiness. If you work hard and always try to do the right thing, then surely your life will be a success. That's what he'd been taught and that's what he tried to live by. True, there were occasional slip ups, his most recent one being throwing a man out of a window at the bar. Tch! It was his fault! The rat bastard was drunk off his ass and wouldn't leave this poor girl alone. Noble though his intentions might have been, the fact that the window had glass still landed him in anger management classes by court order. Shizuo smothered the anger with another piece of fish wrapped around rice and another long sigh. It was then that he noticed a pair of bright, ruby colored eyes staring at him from behind a dumpster in a dark and narrow alley.

"What the f-," Shizuo startled, dropping a piece of ootoro from his hand. Damn! What a waste! That had to be the most expensive piece of his meal! But before he could bemoan his loss, a small, black creature scurried from behind the metal box and quickly snatched the piece of fish in it's mouth before running back into hiding. Shizuo stared, dumbfounded, as he barely caught a glimpse of a white tipped, furry tail. He looked to the same place, and saw the two shining, red eyes looking directly at him again. Slowly, a smile began to spread across his face.

"Hi, there..." he said gently, slowly bending his knees until he was low to the ground. "So, you like fish, huh?" The eyes merely blinked at him in response. He slowly tossed another piece of fish towards the creature. To his delight, a little black fox quickly darted from behind the dumpster and snatched up the offering. "Well, I'll be damned! A black fox? I didn't even know there were foxes around here!" Shizuo chuckled and threw another piece of fish. The little fox stepped out into the light again, taking it's time, now that it realized Shizuo wasn't a threat, as it ate. It looked up at Shizuo and gave a short bark. "Want some more?" Shizuo reached into the container. There was another short burst of a bark from the fox, as it padded within inches of him, dancing excitedly at the prospect. Shizuo laughed a little louder than he meant to. "It's almost like you can understand me!" he chuckled. This little fluff ball was certainly lifting his spirits. He tossed the last piece of fish and stood up, still grinning. "Well, see ya, Foxy." He resumed his walk to the train station and glanced over his shoulder. The fox was nowhere in sight. Shizuo let out a little sigh, not realizing he'd been holding his breath, before almost tripping over the very thing he'd been looking back to see.

The little fox sat directly in front of him, staring up at him with shining, red eyes. "What? You want to come with me?" Shizuo asked in disbelief. "Seriously? You know, most people and animals are pretty scared of me." He stooped back to the ground, and the fox barked and jumped in place. Shizuo just smiled and held out his hand. "Well, you do look kinda scruffy and like you could use some regular food...and definitely a bath. What do you say, Foxy? I could use a good pal right now." The fox took a hesitant step toward his fingers, and Shizuo gently began scratching behind the fox's ears. It let out a high pitched humming sound that was almost a purr. He felt a small surge of triumph as the fox leaned into his touch and even allowed him to pet his back. "Alright, it's settled, then! Come on!" He tapped his thigh with one of his hands and the fox climbed into his arms. "Let's get you home." The fox only made another high pitched trill in response. Shizuo gave it's ears another quick scratch before dumping the fox somewhat unceremoniously into one of the larger shopping bags. The fox gave a confused yip. "Sorry, Foxy. Don't think they allow your kind on trains." The fox let out an anxious low humming sound. "Just try to stay quiet," Shizuo whispered as they entered the train station. "I live in Ikebukuro. We'll be home in no time." Once again, as if the fox could understand him, it curled up silently in the clothes bag and didn't make a peep the entire ride home.

Shizuo opened the door to his small apartment and quickly set all of the bags in the living room on the couch. The little black fox seemed to have fallen asleep on their journey and tumbled out of the bag quite groggy and disoriented. Quickly regaining it's composure, the fox began smoothing out its ruffled fur and eyed Shizuo, who had gone to the fridge, somewhat expectantly. Shizuo took out a bottle of milk and began draining it slowly, without pause. After all, that little fox had eaten most of his dinner. The fox began to bark loudly and quickly jumped off the couch.

"Oh, you want some too, huh?" Shizuo laughed as he opened the cabinet to fetch a bowl. He could hear the clicking of the fox's toenails on the laminate flooring. Shizuo looked down to see those reddish eyes beaming at him again, and he smiled warmly, setting the bowl full of milk down. He watched for a moment, as the fox lapped hungrily at the dish, before heading towards his small bathroom to clean up and change. Hisa had often complained of the size. It was a good thing her parents were giving them a condo as a wedding gift, otherwise he'd probably go deaf from her wailing. He shook his head at the utter nonsense of it all, and began to wash his face. He felt, rather than saw, those shining eyes watching him again. He reached blindly for a hand towel and dried his face.

"Oh yes, a bath. Don't worry, I didn't forget," he told the little fox. He heard another excited bark. After he could see, Shizuo reached down and pulled the drain stop and then twisted the nozzle to a low heat setting before pulling it out. Water began to rush into the bathtub, and the fox began spinning in circles, barking. He picked the furry creature up and gently set him down in the rising water. The fox immediately flipped on its back, kicking it's legs and twisting it's body back and forth in the water, quickly clouding it with the dirt from it's fur. Shizuo whistled as he let the dirty water out and began to refill the tub.

"God damn, you're filthy! Sorry I don't really have any dog shampoo or anything. Maybe what I use will work?..." He grabbed his bottle of generic shampoo from the collection of containers in the corner of the tub, most of them belonging to Hisa from when she stayed over, and flipped open the cap. "What do you think?" He extended the bottle out to the curious, wet, black nose. The fox sniffed and shook it's head with a displeased grunt. Shizuo capped it and put it to the side. "Ok, no go. Guess that's just too manly for ya." It almost sounded like the fox snorted, but Shizuo knew that was just his imagination. "How about this one?" He held out some of Hisa's cucumber mint, abomination under the fox's nose, and received an approving yip. "Oh, yeah...You're definitely a chick," Shizuo muttered. He thought the stuff smelled awful, personally. After rolling up his sleeves, he squeezed a generous amount of the thickly scented shampoo into his hands and began to work it into a lather all over the little fox's body. The fox hummed happily throughout the process, until Shizuo quickly swept it under the running faucet. It made an indignant bark.

"Sorry for the quick rinse. I gotta get going." He lifted the fox out of the tub and set him on the bath mat to shake himself dry. Seeing the little thing with its fur all wet and matted together, Shizuo could tell just how small and skinny the creature really was. It couldn't have weighed more than a few kilograms. In fact, with it's tail completely flat, it looked more like some drowned rat and not really a fox at all! Shizuo couldn't stop himself from laughing at the sight. The fox put it's ears back and glowered at him with it's crimson eyes before trying to smooth down it's fur. "You look ridiculous, but don't worry, you'll dry off soon enough," Shizuo chuckled. He left the bathroom and quickly changed into his bar tending uniform, straightening his bow tie in the mirror. He could see the fox watching him curiously from the doorway of the bathroom in the reflection. Once dressed, Shizuo left his room and clicked on the t.v., setting the channel to some nature show, (He guessed that's maybe what foxes liked), and threw the remote on the couch. The fox came padding out his room and followed him into to the kitchen, where Shizuo put a dish of water on the floor. Then, it followed him to the front door, and sat watching him as he put his shoes on. After he was finished, Shizuo stood up and turned around to give the fox a little bow.

"See you later, Foxy. Try not to destroy my apartment. I'll be back in a few hours."

"Bark!"

"That's a good girl."

"Rrrrrr..." The fox gave a low growl and scampered over to the couch, curling it's body into a little ball facing the screen. Shizuo blinked at the hasty retreat and smiled.

'I'll be damned...I got a fox from Shinjuku in my apartment...Who would have ever thought?'

The sheer novelty of it tickled him, and he walked to work feeling a good deal lighter than he had in a very long time.

Shizuo whistled, as he polished the last of the glasses behind the counter. It was almost 2:00, and the bar would be closing in another hour. He wondered how his furry friend was fairing on it's own inside the apartment and grinned to himself. He hadn't told anyone about the fox. Not that Shizuo had many people he could tell. It wasn't that he was antisocial, per say. It was more that most people were far too afraid of provoking his legendary temper to ever carry on a conversation with him at length, and that made it difficult to make friends. It wasn't his fault people were so irritating. Dishonest and flaky, always making excuses, always taking the easy way out, he couldn't help but become angry listening to their ramblings, sometimes. The fact that his younger brother, Kasuka ,happened to be one of Japan's most popular rising stars was probably the only reason he was able to have this job. He'd been fired from all his previous ones and was bound and determined not to mess this one up. Although he felt justified every time he had let his emotions and fists run wild, he felt immense guilt from the embarrassment he surely caused his brother. And now he had his fiancée to consider. Hisa's parents were very respectable people; her father being a doctor and her mother a board member of several well known charities. He had to be even more conscious of his actions, lest they decide to rescind their approval. Once again, he was fairly certain it was only because of his brother that the family even considered him at all. That and for whatever reason, ever since he'd met Hisa at the premier of one of his brother's movies, she seemed to be everywhere. She was a very determined girl, and once she'd decided that Shizuo Heiwajima was the man for her, there wasn't really anyone who could talk her out of it, though he was sure her parents had tried.

Shizuo glanced up when he heard the bell over the door and several familiar voices drawing near.

"Shizuo! Been a while!" The man's voice was friendly as he took his black cap off and tossed it on the bar counter while taking a seat.

"Kyohei," Shizuo gave him a nod. "What can I get ya?"

"Saki! HOT!" Erica piped up from her side conversation with Walker as they sat on the bar stools. Togusa yawned, pulling the stool out next to Kyohei.

"Saki sounds good," he let his head flop into his folded arms on the counter.

"Long night?" Shizuo asked, as he placed four small Saki glasses in front of them.

"Things have been a little hectic, lately," Kyohei rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he spoke. "It's chaotic between the gangs right now. There's a lot of suspicion and violence flying back and forth."

"It's because there's no more information," Togusa's voice was muffled against his shirt sleeves. "That lunatic went and disappeared." Kyohei nodded in agreement.

"I kind of always thought that guy caused more trouble than anything, but now that he's gone, things are really screwy around here. Wonder if this is all some sort of plot he's hatched up..."

"Who are you talking about?" Shizuo asked, placing the warm bottle of Saki on the counter top after he'd poured their glasses full.

"Izaya Orihara," Kyohei took the glass, swirling the liquid around before he downed it in one gulp.

"Never heard of him," Shizuo gave his bar towel a snap before fluidly tucking it in behind his belt.

"Waaah, Shizuo! That was sooo cool!" Erika gushed, her eyes sparkling. Walker was right there with her on cloud nine, as always.

"It was the complete lack of interest combined with such a sharp, exact gesture!" Walker explained, clapping his hands together joyfully. Shizuo's eyebrow twitched. "He's just like that vampire hunter guy! You know, the one with the sword and-"

"The one by Hideyu-"

"No! It was that lady-"

"Alright, otakus, take it easy," Kyohei warned with a smile before directing his attention back to Shizuo. "Nah, I'm sure you never would have had a reason to deal with Izaya. That guy only dealt with the underworld, real nasty stuff. I heard he even had dealings with the Yakuza."

"Hmph. Sounds like a real scumbag," Shizuo muttered, taking out a cigarette and lighting it. He wasn't really supposed to smoke in front of customers behind the bar, but Kyohei and his friends were the only ones there, and he'd known Kadota since high school.

"Oh yes," Kyohei affirmed. "Indeed. But...I don't know...it's kind of not the same without him. I mean, sure he was terrible, but he definitely brought a lot of character to the city. I know nobody really liked him, but...you know, it's just weird!"

"I'm sure the police will find him, soon," Shizuo offered, noticing right away that his friend was really more distressed than he was letting on. To his surprise, Kyohei laughed loudly.

"Oh, I doubt it! I don't think they'd want anything to do with that guy or what he was mixed up in."

"Maybe that serial killer got him!" Walker whispered to Erika quite loudly. Shizuo's ears perked up.

"Serial killer?" He breathed out a steady stream of smoke. "What's this about?"

"You don't know, Shizuo?" Erika sounded surprised. "It's been all over the news!"

Togusa lifted his head with a yawn. "Oh yeah, some nutjob's been running around shooting people execution style, no mercy. Ka-POW!" He brought his fingers up to the side of his head in the shape of a gun, pulling the 'trigger'. Shizuo scowled.

"A gun? Tch! What a coward! What kind of gun?"

"Looks to be some sort of magnum pistol, .44 mm," Kyohei said as he poured himself another glass.

"No way..." Shizuo took another drag off his cigarette. He could see someone running rampant with a shot gun, maybe, but such a lethal small arm? "How'd he get one of those in Japan, anyway?"

"No idea...Izaya would have known..."

"Buuut he's probably dead in a dumpster somewhere!" Erika sing-songed. Shizuo shrugged.

"That's what you get for being complete scum and dealing with the Yakuza," he affirmed.

The gang soon finished the bottle and waved their goodbyes as they left. Shizuo locked the door behind them, turning off the neon "Open" sign and quickly began counting out his drawer. Izaya Orihara... Shizuo knew there were all sorts in this strange, bustling city, but this guy had sounded like a real piece of work.

'It's probably a good thing I never met him,' he thought as he locked the door on his way out. 'I probably would have punched his lights out.' But this serial killer, now that was bad business. It occupied most of his thoughts on the way home. As he kicked his shoes off inside the front door of his apartment, he was surprised to hear the voice of a news anchorman emanating from the glowing screen on the t.v.. That was odd...he could have swore he left it on the nature channel. The little, black fox had dragged some of Hisa's new clothes out of one of the bags and made a nest of sorts. Since it was September, the nights had begun to get a bit chilly. The fox was curled up in the middle of the small pile, fast asleep, a tiny paw still resting on the remote.

'Well, I'll be damned...'

Shizuo guessed the little thing had inadvertently changed channels while it moved about on the couch. He sat down next to the fox and gently pet it's head as he read the headlines scrolling across the screen. Like Kyohei and his gang had said, most of it pertained to this serial killer. Apparently, whoever it was had a penchant for killing people that were a little eccentric themselves. One victim had been a college drop out that hadn't left his small apartment in over a year. Another had been a woman who had had plastic surgery 23 times. And yet another was an infamous gang member who had apparently been part of an execution committee for the Yakuza before he himself was offed. Shizuo leaned his head back on the couch, letting his hand rest on the fox's back. Seemed like the victims weren't anybody this world would miss too much, but still...killing was wrong. He vaguely wondered if he'd be seeing Izaya Orihara's name on the list in the next couple of days. He yawned, suddenly realizing how tired he was. The fox stretched it's legs with a funny grunting sound, before curling into an even tighter ball than before. Shizuo smiled and lifted his new pet onto his lap. The fox woke with all the movement and lifted it's head to stare at Shizuo with half lidded, sleepy eyes.

"Hey, Foxy," he muttered, as he resumed petting it's head. "What do you think about this serial killer, hm?" The fox glanced at the t.v. for a moment and gave an exaggerated yawn, showing every white, pointed tooth, before curling back up to sleep. Shizuo chuckled. "Yeah, me too." And together, they drifted off into a deep slumber.

Shizuo awoke with a start, nearly sending the fox, which was still on his lap, tumbling to the floor. "Oh shit!" he muttered, quickly glancing at his watch. 09:45. "OH SHIT!" The fox quickly scampered out of his way as Shizuo practically sprinted into his bathroom. "I'm late, I'm late, I'm late, GOD DAMMIT, I'M LATE!" he roared, quickly running a brush through his hair and squeezing way too much toothpaste on his toothbrush. In his manic state, he almost thought he heard the sound of laughter drifting in from the living room. Shizuo shook his head and quickly rinsed out his mouth. He'd just have to wear his work clothes from the night before. Hopefully Dr. Shinra would understand. He raced to the front door and reached for his shoes.

"Hey! Neanderthal!" Shizuo froze when the slightly annoyed, mocking voice reached his ears. He slowly looked over his shoulder to see the fox standing in the center of the living room, using it's back foot to scratch behind an ear. "How about breakfast before you dash out to do whatever inconsequential, monotonous human things you have to do?"

Oh god...he was so wound up from being late that he was hallucinating. Shizuo used the wall for support as he slowly got to his feet and continued to stare at the fox with wide eyes. It just blinked at him, and tilted it's head to the side. Shizuo shook his head with a laugh.

"Okay...I need to calm down," he told himself. He looked at the fox again. "Let's get you some breakfast."

Shizuo quickly scanned his fridge and took out a bottle of milk and some egg rolls from takeout a couple of days ago. After the fox was happily lapping away at the milk, he dashed out the door. Dr. Shinra was just about to leave his office when Shizuo came sprinting up.

"I...am so...sorry I'm late," he wheezed, completely out of breath. Dr. Shinra smiled and pushed the door back open.

"Shizuo! I knew you wouldn't disappoint me! After all, that's part of your problem!"

"Wh-...what?"

"Ha ha! You need to stop smoking so much! Come in, come in! I had a BREAKTHROUGH last night about your case!" Shizuo nervously complied and sat on the leather cushioned sofa across from the doctor, who was a little too excited for his liking. "Okay! Here is your problem! You're too concerned about what other people think!"

"Excuse me?" Shizuo was pretty sure this quack doctor had finally lost it.

"Hear me out, hear me out!" Shinra pleaded, holding up his hands. "Okay, it's like this. You think your brother is perfect, and you've got...issues..., right?"

"Yeah," Shizuo nodded. Sounded right so far.

"And I mean really BIG issues!" Shinra threw up his hands almost gleefully. "Like, chucking people through glass windows, not being able to hold down a steady job-"

"I get it!" Shizuo growled. "Just get on with it!"

"Well, don't you see? It's a cycle with you! You can't accept your faults, so you try to stuff them down, but that only makes them surface more violently. And then you feel guilt, and let the people around you control your life, but this only produces more frustration, which leads to you losing your temper again."

"I do not let people control my life!" Shizuo objected.

"Oh really? Tell me more about Hisa, then. You never talk about her."

"What?"

"Your fiancée! Tell me how much you love her! How much you love doing activities with her! When was the last time you both had sex and who initiated it?"

"H-HEY!" Shizuo ground his teeth, blushing furiously. "That's personal!"

"I wonder...or maybe you just don't have that much to say about her. Maybe she's just another thing in your life you're going along with because you think that will make the people around you happy."

"That's utterly ridiculous!"

"'Oh, look at Shizuo! He finally settled down and got married! He's a respectable adult!~'" Shinra mocked, clasping his hands dramatically next to his face. Shizuo was about to blow a fuse. He didn't know how the hell this guy got to be the residing physician over anger cases. Seemed like one of his patients would have killed him by now. As it was, Shizuo felt his fist unconsciously drawing back. He noticed when he saw all of the color drain from Shinra's face as he reached his hands up to shield himself. "Oh, god, Shizuo! Don't kill me! There's a method behind the madness, I swear!"

Shizuo gave a long sigh and let his hand drop. He didn't know why he found these sessions so draining. "It's...It's not true," he said again, but there was no conviction behind his words.

"Mmm, just give it some thought, will you?" Shinra had returned to his normal, upbeat self almost instantly and began scribbling furiously on a clipboard. "And you were early today, just so you know." Shizuo gave him a small smile of appreciation. "So, anything new in your life?"

"I got a new pet, yesterday."

"Oh, wonderful! Pets are very therapeutic!" Shinra nodded his approval. "Anything else you'd like to tell me?"

"Not really."

"Ok, then. I think you've taken up enough of the government's time today, and I have another patient in a few minutes, so you are released."

Shizuo gave him another nod and rose from his seat. He had a feeling that Dr. Shinra was unconventional to say the least, and he probably broke more than a few rules, but he was a good person who really did try to help people. And as busy as he always was, so busy that he couldn't ever reschedule appointments, he must have had a lot of people to help. As he reached the office door, a thought occurred to him.

"Doctor...?"

"Yes, Shizuo?" He glanced up adjusting his glasses with a wide smile.

"Have you ever heard of someone called 'Izaya Orihara'?"

Shinra burst out laughing. "Yes, indeed. I hear about him all the time! In fact, I'll warrant he's the reason at least 25% of my patients are in anger management! Why do you ask?"

"Someone said he was missing."

"Missing?" Shinra frowned. "Hmm...that's too bad. I hope none of my patients finally snuffed him out like they were always threatening."

"What did he do that pissed so many people off? Wasn't he just an informant?"

"Mmm, yes, but Izaya was a special breed. You could say that he liked to play with people, and he could be a little cruel. I'm not surprised if he's finally met his end."

"Thanks, doc." Shizuo put on his sunglasses and gave a wave as he left. He couldn't help but think about Shinra's 'breakthrough' on his way home. Did he care too much about what other people thought? Shizuo knew he wanted his brother's approval, but beyond that, he hadn't really paid attention. This made him feel even lower for some reason, as he slowly unlocked his front door. Quite a sight greeted him as he twisted the door knob and opened it.

"Shizuo! Thank god you're here! What the hell is this thing?" Hisa practically screamed. She and the fox were in a stand off of sorts with the fur ball holding one of her new sweaters hostage, as Hisa jabbed at it with a broom. It's growled, gnashing it's teeth into the sweater and batted the broom away with it's paw.

"Put the god-damn broom down, woman!" Shizuo yelled, quickly yanking it out of her hands and tossing it aside. "You're scaring her!"

"Heiwajima Shizuo!" Uh-oh...she was using his formal name... "Why the hell is this thing in your house? And why is it destroying my clothes?"

"It's, well...I found her on the way home last night," Shizuo scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "She was just so cute, that I took her home, I guess. I'm sorry about your clothes. I'll pay for them."

"As if! You probably don't even have that much in your bank account, Shizuo!" she huffed, folding her arms. "And I want this ugly thing gone by tonight! Do you hear me? I'm not joking!"

The 'thing' in question ran behind Shizuo's leg, and barked menacingly. Shizuo picked the fox up and was surprised as it seemed to actually cling to his shoulder, almost desperately. He patted it on the back, smoothing down the hairs that were bristling with rage. He could feel it trembling from all of the excitement.

"No..."

"What?"

"I said NO!" Shizuo yelled. The fox whipped it's head around and barked in affirmation.

"Shizuo..." Hisa's eyes grew wide before narrowing into angry slits. "You're so stupid!" she spat. "Here, I'll make it simple so even a dummy like you can understand! It's either me, or that disgusting creature!" Shizuo didn't even try to conceal his anger. His right fist shot out to his side, punching a clean hole through the wall, but he said nothing. Hisa seemed unfazed by his display. She calmly collected her purse and undamaged clothing and brushed past him. "Remember, I said GONE! And I mean it!" She left, slamming the door behind her. As soon as she left, Shizuo's shoulders slumped in defeat, as he slowly lowered the fox to the ground. The fox looked at him quizzically, as Shizuo bent down and pet it, sadly.

"I'm sorry, Foxy," he began.

"Oh, no, no, no! Don't tell me you're going to actually listen to that absolute bitch of a woman!" Shizuo froze, turning white as a sheet at the sound of the sneer reaching his ears. "You really are a dumb neanderthal! If someone talked to me like that, they'd be getting acquainted with two cinder blocks at the bottom of Tokyo Bay!"

Shizuo was wide eyed with terror, and he licked his lips as he stared at the fox, now scratching under it's chin with a back paw. "Are you...are you really talking?" The question barely came out above a strangled whisper.

"Yes, you silly human, you. And for the record, I am decidedly male. I just don't like shampoo that smells like five day old corpse! You're girlfriend's a vile woman, but I admire her choice of hair care products."

"How is this...possible?..." Shizuo wondered out loud, falling backwards in shock.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm an all powerful fox demon, silly Shizu-chan!"

"Shizu-chan?..."

"So you'd better do as I say! Otherwise, there could be...dire...consequences." The fox took a step towards Shizuo, and he almost broke the front door trying to desperately back away from the menacing thing. "So, get me some more ootoro! Chop chop!"

Shizuo quickly scrambled over to the phone and dialed the number to his local sushi place, but paused right before he hit the talk button. He glanced back down at the tiny creature. "Wait a second...You're a demon? Really?"

"Quite! Now, less talkie, more fetchy sushi!"

Shizuo hung up the phone and folded his arms. "Prove it."

"Oh, Shizu-chan. Surely you know that asking a god or demon to prove that they are so is taboo and is really asking for it! Would you tempt me so? Are you really that stupid?"

"Yeah, I guess I really am," Shizuo had had about all he could handle in the belittling department that day. He certainly wasn't going to take flack from some pathetic, half starved fox he'd rescued.

"Fine...then ask me anything, and I shall tell you the correct answer."

"Okay...where did I go this morning?"

"You went to see Shinra, a contracted government psychiatrist, for your anger management therapy."

"How...how did you know?"

"Because I know all, silly human! Now, ootoru?"

Shizuo swallowed harshly and turned back to the phone. It was then that he noticed he had a message. On impulse, he hit the play button, and the sound of Hisa's voice filled the small apartment, scolding him in advance if he'd dared to sleep through his appointment again. He hit the delete button with bit of a dramatic flourish. "Nice try, flea bag! I've got another question for you!"

The fox let out a whiny sigh, and shook his now shiny fur coat. "Fine...what?"

"Tell me what happened to Izaya Orihara."

To his surprise, the fox seemed to startle, and narrowed his red eyes while baring his teeth. "Where did you hear about him?" he growled. Wow, it seemed to Shizuo that everyone knew Izaya Orihara except him.

"One of my friends is missing him," Shizuo shrugged. "You said you know everything. I thought I'd take the opportunity to do him a favor and find out."

"Well he's dead!" the fox snarled. "Sorry to disappoint you!"

"I'm not disappointed in the least," Shizuo's voice was completely neutral, as he dialed the sushi number again. "The guy sounded like a dick that ruined people's lives, and I'm sure the world is a better place without him...Oh, hello! Take out, please!"

"Ha! You're wrong! Izaya Orihara loved humans! They were his greatest joy!"

"Sounded to me like he just liked to fuck with them," Shizuo said dryly. "Oh! Yes, I'm still here! Sorry! Need an order of ootoru! 20 minutes? Thanks!" The fox gave a flick of his tail and looked to the side, laying his ears flat against his head as Shizuo hung up the phone. "So, you see, Foxy, it's good that he's gone. And another thing...I don't think you're a demon. I don't know what you are, but there's no way a supernatural being would be as pathetic looking as you were when I found you." The small flinch the fox gave was not lost on him.

"You're a little more perceptive than I initially thought...But still, I am a talking fox. Isn't that at least novel enough to warrant not kicking me back out on the streets?"

Shizuo could hear the smallest hint of desperation in his voice, and felt something in his chest give. "Well, you were kind of a flea bag to intimidate me, but of course I won't kick you out," he said. "You're just going to have to work with me on keeping it a secret from Hisa. Now, come on. Let's go get your fatty tuna and you can tell me more about what the hell you are."

With a yip, the fox dove into his open arms and crawled onto his shoulder laying itself flat against Shizuo's neck like some sort of fur wrap. Together, they walked the streets of Ikebukuro. Shizuo could feel, rather than hear, the fox humming happily as it curled around his neck. Oddly enough, they really didn't attract too many stares. It kind of just looked like Shizuo had a strange fanshion sense.

"So, who are you? Really?"

The fox ceased it's humming and Shizuo could feel it's body tighten around his neck. "I'm just a fox, nothing more, nothing less."

"But foxes can't talk," Shizuo reasoned. "And they certainly don't live in the city."

"Well, I suppose there's a first time for everything!~"

"You're not going to tell me?"

"I can't see how it would benefit me for you to know."

"That just means you did something wrong."

"...Why did your girlfriend call you stupid, again?"

A silly grin flashed across Shizuo's face before he could stop it. He knew the fox wasn't trying to compliment him, but it was the closest thing anyone had ever given him to one concerning his intelligence. He quickly lit a cigarette to hide behind. The fox sneezed at the smoke. "She's not my girlfriend. She's my fiancée."

"Oh, dear lords, you poor man."

"She's not that bad..."

"Really? Well, she's never tried to shove a broom stick up your ass. Or wait...Has she?"

Shizuo reached up and gave the fox a sound swat on the head and the creature squeaked. "You're an ill-mannered little grunt, aren't you?"

"On the contrary, dear Shizu-chan! I have excellent manners when I care to use them! Look!" The fox looped it's tail under Shizuo's nose. "I've given you a distinguished mustache! Let's be respectable gentlemen, together!" Shizuo pulled the tail back under his chin as the fox snickered, amused by it's own antics.

"My name is Shizuo. Not 'Shizu-chan'. Get it right, Foxy!"

"And my name is not 'Foxy'!"

"Well, you never told me your name, and I have to call you something."

"Can it be something that doesn't sound like a nursery rhyme?"

"No Foxy Loxy, then?"

"Nyet!"

"Hmmm..." Shizuo thought for a moment. "How about 'Izaya', then?"

"What?"

"Well, like you said, the guy's dead and not using it anymore. And besides, I don't know...It seems to suit you. What's the matter? You don't like the name?"

"It's an exquisite name!" the fox sniffed. "I'm just not sure if I am worthy."

Shizuo shook his head. He was beginning to seriously suspect he knew the fox's true identity, but what harm was there in playing along? Obviously the fox didn't want to talk about it, though Shizuo was terribly curious how a man could have been transformed into an animal. Oh well, all in good time.

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind, or even if he would, who cares? Izaya it is."

"Izaya it is..." the fox echoed, and Shizuo could swear there was a smile behind his voice. A couple of minutes later, the fox was humming happily again.

"SHIZUO!" a thick Russian accent greeted him as they walked towards the entrance of Russian Sushi. "Here to eat sushi? Sushi good! Good for furry friend, too!"

"Hey, Simon," Shizuo greeted, surprised that the large man was able to see the fox was alive right away, and not some sort of fashion statement. He ground out his cigarette and put the butt in his pouch. "Me and the fleabag got an order to go."

"AH! Go on, then! I'm sure is ready! Enjoy, enjoy, and come back soon!" He smiled widely, but as soon as Shizuo passed, the fox gazed back at the black Russian, who was now staring at him with an unreadable expression on his face. After a few seconds, Simon smiled again, and winked, before returning to frightening poor tourists and passers, by on the street by threatening them with coupons. Izaya blinked, and moved to Shizuo's other shoulder, wrapping his tail tightly around his neck to balance himself.

"Are you trying to choke me to death, flea bag?" Shizuo grumbled, loosening his tail's grip with an index finger as one would a tie. "What's up with you?" Izaya didn't answer, as Shizuo paid for the order and left. After a few minutes of silence, and a decisive lack of humming, Shizuo knew there was something wrong. "Hey, what's your deal? You're getting your ootoro; you should be damn happy! This shit's expensive!"

"Ah, how generous of you, Shizzu-chan! I can only hope that the pleasure of my company compensates you for your monetary loss."

"Tch!"

"Oh, by the by, why don't you have a computer in your house, Shizu-chan? I thought every modern, Japanese home had at least a desktop." Shizuo snorted.

"I don't need that crap! People need to get off the internet and open a damn book!"

"Ah, a simple man with simple pleasures? Sounds about right." Shizuo didn't like the way it sounded like a sneer, but before he could think of a response, an obnoxious voice sounded behind them.

"Hey, blondie! What kind of get up is that? What are you, a bartender?" There was a wave of giggles and guffaws. Shizuo glanced over his shoulder at the gang of unruly teenagers, all sporting yellow pieces of clothing, and pushed his glasses higher on his nose.

"Yes," he said simply, and began to walk away.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" the same voice yelled. He must have been the leader of sorts. "I wanna have a chat with you! You're Shizuo Heiwajima, right? They say you've got quite a temper! And that you're the strongest man in Ikebukuro! But I don't believe it!" he scoffed, brandishing a bat and giving it a swing. The other two took out a pipe and club with a smirk. "You don't look so tough to me! And what's up with your hair? You can see that shit a mile away!" The others laughed, beating their respective weapons into their palms.

Shizuo glanced upwards at his unruly locks before casually taking out another cigarette. "I hate violence," he stated. "You say you're stronger, let's just leave it at that." He turned again to leave, with Izaya peeking his head over his shoulder.

"Oh, come on! We need to teach these plebs a lesson! You can't just walk away!"

"Yes, I can," Shizuo growled. "I don't need more shit on my record!"

"Ah! They're just some punks! No one's going to report it!"

"Just shut up, already!"

"Ah, look! He's talking to his little cat thing! Didn't know you were crazy, too!" the boy called after him. "Is your little brother as much of a chicken shit, loony as you are?" Izaya chuckled evilly when he saw Shizuo take the cigarette out of his mouth, unconsciously snapping it in half.

"Oh, yes! It's party time!"

"Don't talk about my brother, asshole," Shizuo growled from somewhere deep in his chest, turning to face the gang head on.

"Why? Cause he's a bigger pussy than you are?" Amidst all their laughter, they didn't even see the street trashcan flying towards them, effectively silencing the one holding the club by crashing into him. He hit the ground, out cold. The other two turned to stare at Shizuo with huge eyes.

"Too late!" Izaya cried, gleefully. "Party, party, party, party!" he chanted as he leapt off Shizuo's heaving shoulders and shot like lightening up the boy holding the pipe's pants leg.

"What the fuck!" he screamed, desperately trying to shake the unknown creature off of him. "Get this thing off me! OW!" Izaya bit him from somewhere inside his jacket, and without thinking clearly, the frantic teen began beating himself all over with the pipe, trying to hit whatever thing was assaulting him. As Izaya was causing one to beat himself to death, Shizuo had advanced on the leader, snatching the bat out of his hand as it swung at him, snapping it in two.

"Wrong answer," he growled, but there was a sadistic smile on his face as he punched the kid across the lower jaw so hard, he was airborne for a good five seconds before landing in a heap against a shop doorway. He turned to see the other still futilely batting away at himself, each swing being weaker than the last. Izaya emerged from his coat and dashed to the top of his head, bearing his sharp teeth in a smirk at Shizuo.

"See? Isn't this fun?" he asked with a loud bark of a laugh. The teen made one last attempt to hit the creature that had been tormenting him, but only succeeded in smashing his own forehead with the pipe. Izaya hopped lightly off of him as he crumpled to the ground. The sound of sirens in the distance reached their ears. "Run away, run away!~" Izaya practically sang, racing back up to Shizuo's shoulders. Shizuo stared in the direction of the sound, wide eyed. What had he just done? "What are you waiting for, neanderthal? Hurry, hurry! They'll catch us!"

With a bitter curse, Shizuo began to run, snatching up the bag of sushi from the ground on his way out. Great! Not only did he commit a crime, he was now fleeing from the scene! "God dammit!" he cursed again, picking up speed.

"Wheeee~" Izaya gripped the sides of Shizuo's head with his forepaws, as he steadied himself on his shoulders with his hind legs, thoroughly enjoying the ride. "Oh, today is a good day!"

"Shut up!" Shizuo practically screamed. "There's nothing good about it! I did it AGAIN!"

"Did what?"

"I lost my temper! I hurt people!"

"Yeah? So what? They wanted to hurt you. Why does it matter?"

"I'm supposed to be able to control my emotions! If they find out that I-"

"No one will know! You worry too much~"

Shizuo grit his teeth at the foolish fox and just kept running. He felt a huge wave of relief as his apartment building came into sight. Once inside, Shizuo locked every lock, and breathing heavily, slowly sank to the floor. Izaya hopped joyfully into the kitchen, drinking some of the water out of his dish. "Mmmm, beating up stupid thugs makes me thirsty," he hummed. He pranced over to where Shizuo was sprawled, still panting against the door, and picked up the bag of takeout with his teeth. When Shizuo made no effort to move, Izaya slowly lowered the bag back down, and gazed at him, tilting his head to the side. "You look so guilty, Shizu-chan! You should never feel guilty for having a good bit of fun! It's called 'life'!"

Shizuo glared at him, before slowly rising to his feet. "You don't understand," he tried to explain. "I got a lot at stake. I can't just do whatever I want whenever I feel like it!"

"Why not~" Izaya smoothed out his tail with one of his front paws.

"Because! It's irresponsible! And foolish! And you'll never get anywhere in life if you can't control yourself!"

Izaya's red eyes rolled dramatically. "Stop blowing this out of proportion, Shizu-chan! It was just a good, old fashioned, clean fight. When you think about it, they outnumbered us by one, and I only weigh about 2 kilos. It's not our fault they sucked at life so much! You knooooow I'm right, so go on! Tell me I'm right!"

"I suppose..." Shizuo muttered, eyeing the fox suspiciously. It occurred to him that Izaya was going to be a little more of a handful than he originally thought.

"Mmmm, yes, I am always right. And I was very impressed with your strength, might I had. I, too, had only ever heard rumors. Now, sushi! I can't open this plastic container!"

Shizuo sighed, as he popped the lid for him and Izaya hungrily snapped up a piece. "You know, I thought you were cute when I first saw you...Now I'm not so sure..."

"Oh, please! I'm simply adorable! Enjoy it while you can. As soon as I figure some things out, I'll no longer grace you with my luminous presence."

Shizuo snorted at Izaya's constant overwhelming confidence, and grabbed a piece of sushi for himself before the fox devoured it all. "Oh really," he prompted.

"Indeed."

"And what things might those be? Turning back into a human, possibly?" Shizuo smiled slyly as the fox stopped chewing and glanced at him. "Oh, come on, it's obvious you used to be human. What happened anyway? Stick your nose somewhere it didn't belong?"

Izaya's ears went flat for a moment, before he flashed a pointed, chesire smile. "I have a vested interest in all humans and their affairs, therefore my nose belongs everywhere."

"I'll bet some people don't share that sentiment," Shizuo smirked before a large yawn overtook him. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I didn't get much sleep last night." He kicked off his shoes and headed to the bedroom, plopping down face first into his pillow. After a few seconds, he decided it probably wasn't best to sleep in dirty clothes, and lazily kicked his pants off while he unbuttoned his shirt. Once he was down to his boxers, he let out a heavy sigh, and flung his arms out, completely comfortable. At least, until he felt something softly land by his feet. He could feel the slight steps as the fox made it's way near his face. Cracking one eye open, Shizuo found himself looking directly into Izaya's large, ruby colored eyes, which were wide open, and staring directly into his.

"Oh, don't mind me. I'm just here to observe your sleeping habits, Shizu-chan."

"Argh!" Shizuo grunted, flipping away from the face that was a little too close for his comfort. "Can't you go watch t.v. or something? I'm tired, and I have to work in a few hours!"

"Ugh, there's nothing to watch on the news. All people care about is that stupid serial killer. I think that might actually be his title, 'The Stupid Serial Killer'. Killing people you think aren't worthy of life...how cliché!"

"I'm sorry you don't find it entertaining," Shizuo mumbled. He startled when he felt a set of cold paws land on his side and begin trailing down his body. They stopped on his hip, where Izaya chose to take a seat.

"It intrigues me that the rest of the country finds it so fascinating. Humans are so wonderfully hypocritical. No one would admit it, but they find things like murder and tragedy immensely entertaining."

"I'm sure it's just that we all want to stay alive, and it's in our interest to be up to date things that would have it otherwise."

"No, my dear Shizu-chan, that is just YOU. The rest of the world gets off on other people's pain and suffering."

"What interests you, then?" Shizuo asked with another yawn. To his amusement, Izaya mirrored it with a yawn of his own, and lazily tumbled on the bed in front of him, sliding up along his stomach until he'd reached his chest and could lay his head on Shizuo's arm.

"Pets?" Shizuo rolled his eyes, and began petting the now stretched out fox the entire length of his body. Izaya hummed quietly, and closed his eyes. "I would be interested in the moments before the person's death. The look on their face, what they thought about , what they said. But you never hear about those things in the news. That's why you have to be there, in person, when it all goes down."

"Are you saying you've watched people die?"

"Oh, yes...A few times...Now THAT is interesting."

"That's sick!" Shizuo growled, suddenly pushing Izaya off the bed, sending him to the ground with a plop.

"Shizu-chan! That's so mean! It wasn't like I had anything to do with it! Well,...not most of the time, anyway! And besides, what's the difference between watching it as it happens and watching the aftermath?" Izaya placed his front paws on the bed, resting his chin between them.

"Well, you could have done something about it!" Shizuo seethed. "You could have tried to prevent it!"

"I try not to interfere in other people's lives...physically," Izaya grinned at the last part. Shizuo just shook his head.

"You really are a demon. But you're also a pathetic, little pipsqueak, so I'm not going to pound your face in for being such a fleabag!"

Iaya pulled himself back onto the bed and resumed his spot next to Shizuo's chest. "Eh, I've been called worse."

It felt like only minutes had gone by when the sound of the front door opening and closing startled Shizuo and Izaya awake. They both shared a mutual feeling of terror as they stared wide eyed at one another.

"Hisa!"

"The ogress!"

"SHIZUOOOO!~ Where are you, my love?"

"I'll be out in a second!" Shzuo yelled, springing from the bed and quickly locking the door. It wasn't a moment too soon, as the knob immediately began jiggling as Hisa tried to open the door from the other side.

"Oh, what's this? Like I haven't seen you naked before! Open the door, Shizuo!"

Shizuo quickly slipped into a clean pair of his black dress slacks and nodded toward the closet. "Gym bag, far corner," he whispered. Izaya quickly scampered into the closet as Shizuo opened the door. Hisa was tapping her foot with he arms folded, but was immediately all smiles. Dressed in a green sweater dress with a belt and her hair swept up and high boots, she looked every bit like the college girl she was as she threw herself into Shizuo's arms.

"Shizuo! Darling! I'm sorry I was so horrible this morning!" She snuggled against his bare chest, and he patted her, awkwardly. "That thing was just so hideous! Thank you for getting rid of it!"

"Ummm, it's fine. H-how was school?"

"Ugh!" she pushed off of him and walked in to sit down on his bed. "Horrid! My literature professor is the devil, I swear! He actually threw a book at a student today! And he wouldn't move our test date even though he KNOWS we have two other tests that day!"

"Oh, uh, sorry to hear that."

"Are you getting ready to go to work, already?" she asked, staring at his half done attire.

"Um, yeah! They needed someone to come in early. Yoshi got sick, or something like that," he felt bad lying, but he desperately wanted to get Izaya as far away from Hisa as possible. He didn't even want to think of what would happen if she knew he was still there. Hisa smiled at him, coyly, as he took an undershirt out of his dresser and slipped it on.

"Surely they can do without you for a few more minutes," she giggled, reaching out to loop a finger through one of his belt loops and pulling him towards her.

"I don't know, they sounded like they really needed help," Shizuo tried, as she pulled him down on top of her.

"Nonsense! I won't take up too much of your time, I promise~" she smiled evilly as she pressed her lips against his. Shizou glanced nervously about the room, trying to gently disengage, but Hisa had a firm arm around the back of his neck. He almost yelped when she snaked her other hand down and undid the button of his pants.

"Hisa, now's really not a good tIME!" his voice shot up a few octaves when she found what she was looking for. Shizuo was sure that he heard the sound of gagging coming from the closet and mentally begged the fox to keep quiet.

"Oh come on, Shizuo!" Hisa giggled, rubbing against him a bit more vigorously. Shizuo had to bite back a moan as he grabbed her wandering hand.

"Later," he promised. "But I really have to go now. I'm sorry, Hisa."

"Fine!" she huffed, folding her arms and looking away. "I'll just hang out and do homework until you get home."

Relief washed over Shizuo when she released her death grip and he quickly finished dressing. Grabbing the slightly heavier gym bag, he gave Hisa a peck on the lips and darted out the door. "That was close..." He muttered, slinging the bag over his shoulder.

"Might you unzip the bag a bit? It's a little stuffy in here." Izaya gasped dramatically as Shizuo complied, and poking his head through the tiny opening. "Honestly, why do you put up with her?"

"She's my fiancée!"

"She's horrible. But I suppose if one was thinking with their dick and not their brain..."

"Hey!" Shizuo blushed. "That's about enough out of you."

"Still, she's not THAT good looking. You could do much better, Shizu-chan! MUCH better! You're an absolute stud! Why did you pick HER of all people?"

"I said enough!" With that, Shizuo poked his head back into the bag and drew the zipper shut, choosing to ignore the fact that the fox was complimenting his looks. He ignored Izaya's pleas and fake apologies, as he lit a cigarette and maintained a stony silence the rest of the way to the bar. Once inside the unusually crowded place, Shizuo quickly made his way to the back and dumped the duffel bag on the hard floor.

"You callous, son of a bitch!" Izaya hissed. "Could you please open the bag, now? Before I suffocate? I will haunt you, you know."

"Nobody will care that you're here," Shizuo said shortly, as he quickly unzipped the bag. "Just stay out of sight and stay out of trouble!"

"What if I have to use the little girl's room?" Izaya smirked as he climbed out. Shizuo rolled his eyes and thought for a moment.

"Uh...alley way, out back?"

"Ugh! Really? No employee bathroom?"

"Nah, sorry, we only have the one stall in the front of the house," Shizuo scratched the back of his head, feeling a little guilty.

"What kind of bottom dwelling, watering hole is this?" Izaya muttered.

"Look, I'll just prop the back window open for you. You can come and go as you please. How's that?"

"Fine~" the fox sighed and followed Shizuo to the back counter where a tiny window faced the opposite brick wall. Shizuo quickly slid it open, and Izaya nimbly leapt on the sill. "I'm sure I won't be the first to pee on the side of your not so fine establishment~EEP!"

Shizuo shoved him off the ledge before he could finish his mockery. "Just remember what I said, flea bag!"

"Brute..." Shizuo heard the fox mutter as it's tiny footsteps quickly faded in the distance.

"Flea bag..." Shizuo shook his head and walked back to the front of the house.

"Yo! Shizuo! Why you here so early, man?" Yoshi, a slightly older man with a mustache, smiled brightly, giving Shizuo a slap on the shoulder in greeting. "Wait a second," his eyebrows furrowed. "I'm not fired, am I?"

"No," Shizuo grabbed a bar towel and looped it through the back of his pants. "And if anyone calls, you're sick, okay? Just let me help you out for a while. You can keep the tips." Yoshi blinked at him.

"Wow, you must really be desperate! Who you runnin' from?"

"Hisa..."

"Huh, I see. You two have a fight?"

"No, but we were going to have one if I didn't disappear really fast."

"Oh yeah, what's in the bag?" Yoshi slid a beer down the counter to an older gentlemen, who looked to be a construction worker, and wiped his hands on the towel on his waist.

"You'll see soon enough," Shizuo mumbled, as he left to restock the canned beers. He returned with a five boxes stacked high and set them down on the ground with a clank. It was far more than any normal person would have carried, but Shizuo never paid enough attention to think he was doing anything strange. Yoshi quirked and eyebrow at him and smiled, before glancing up at the t.v.. A well known, and much disliked politician was in town, waxing poetic about the current economic crisis, and his new plan of action that was sure to bring an end to the hardship.

"What a useless person," Yoshi said, darkly. "People like him are the reason Japan suffers so much." Shizuo glanced up at the screen over his shoulder. Kenichi Yamato...well, Shizuo didn't really follow politics too much, but the guy seemed pretty corrupt. There were rumors of funds missing from tax collections, non profit organizations, and all sorts of shady nonsense whenever he was involved.

"Hm, guess you'd better vote him out, then," Shizuo said, lightly, rising to put the empty boxes away.

"I think he should just die." Shizuo blinked at him. "We don't need people like him." All at once, the cold look in his eyes left and Yoshi smiled sweetly at Shizuo. "Which reminds me! How's your therapy going? You becoming a good citizen, yet?"

"...getting there?" Shizuo grinned a little nervously, quickly escaping to the back. Geez, his coworker could be a little creepy, sometimes. As he exited through the back door to make his way to the dumpster, he saw a familiar pair of red eyes moving toward him in the approaching darkness.

"Shizu-chan!~" Izaya sang, as he quickly climbed his way up Shizuo's pants and shirt to his shoulder.

"What are you? A damn parrot? You don't have to sit on my shoulder all the time, you know?"

"But I LIKE it up here! Shizu-chan is quite tall and I can see oh so far!"

Shizuo shook his head as he headed back inside.

"What the- Shizuo! What's on your shoulder?" Yoshi's eyes were large.

"Yoshi, this is Izaya. He's my new roommate."

"No kiddin'? What is he? A fox?" He walked closer to inspect Izaya, who merely looked him over once before completely ignoring him. "Weird...foxes are usually pretty wild. I'm surprised he's so comfortable around you. Why'd you name it, 'Izaya'? Don't you know who that guy is?"

"Was," Shizuo corrected. "That guy's dead."

"No kidding?" an unusually happy smile spread across Yoshi's face. "What happened to him?" Shizuo shrugged.

"Don't know. Heard the serial killer got him." Yoshi's face fell.

"Oh...I see. Well, he was NOT a good person." Shizuo chuckled.

"So I've heard. What'd he do to you?"

"Absolutely nothing! I would never associate with his kind!"

"Well," Shizuo took out a cigarette and lit it. "How do you know he was such a bad person, then?"

"Because, he brainwashed some highschooler into leaping to her death." Shizuo's eyebrows shot up.

"What?"

"And he helped a pharmaceutical company that experiments on people evade the police."

"You don't say..." Shizuo looked at Izaya out of the corner of his eyes. The fox didn't look nervous in the least. He seemed to be studying Yoshi, intently as he spoke.

"And he helped the Yakuza smuggle weapons into the country- and"

"Okay, hold it," Shizuo held up a hand. "How do you know all this is true? Aren't these just rumors?"

"Oh, come on, Shizuo! Everyone knows that 99.9% of the bad things that happen in Ikebukuro are Izaya Orihara's fault! If he truly is gone, than good riddance! Not you though, little guy," he gave Izaya's head a little pat. "You're cute and I hope you stay around a long time, even if you do have an unfortunate name." As soon as Yoshi left the back, Shizuo put out the cigarette and grabbed Izaya by the scruff, bringing him eye level.

"Hey! Easy now! What's got your panties in a bunch?" he half barked at the enraged bartender.

"What the hell, Izaya? How could you do those things?"

"I'm sorry, are you implying without any proof whatsoever that I was Izaya Orihara? The famous information broker?"

"Don't play games with me, fleabag!" Shizuo gave him a little shake. "I know it was you. There's no one else on this planet annoying enough! Now, cut the bull shit! Why'd you do those awful things?"

"Shizu-chan, this may be a little difficult for you to understand, but in my line of work, having people believe you're capable of great evils has it's advantages," Izaya smiled, slyly. "You can't believe everything you hear. You can only believe...oh about 75% of it."

"Did you really make a girl kill herself? Why would an information broker even bother with something like that?"

"Because I love humans! And I love to watch them! And, might I add, my dear Shizu-chan, I never 'make' anyone do anything. That girl wanted to die, and I was a mere impassive observer."

"You're a monster, is what you are!" Shizuo couldn't stop himself from shaking the fox silly. Izaya could feel his teeth rattle in his skull. "I should just put you out of your misery right here and now, damn fleabag!"

"Awe, but you'd never be able to live with yourself if you knew you'd killed another human being...even if he happened to be a fox at the moment." Izaya smirked as Shizuo's shoulders dropped. He let go, and the fox barely managed to land on his feet as he fell to the floor.

"You're disgusting!" Shizuo spat. "Get out of here! Scram!"

"Now, now, don't be like that, Shizu-chan!" Izaya still sounded anything but upset. "What if I were to tell you the serial killer's next victim? Would that just make everything peachy keen again?"

"And how do you know that? Did you plan that, too?" Shizuo sneered, turning his back to him.

"Merely observation, Shizu-chan. I could be completely wrong, but it's highly unlikely. Of course, there's no way to be sure until after the fact."

"Fine! Who is it?" Shizuo growled.

"Oh, no, no. That's not how this little game works-"

"WHAT GAME?"

"Izaya Orihara does not give out information for free. I want you to promise that no matter what nonsense people tell you, you won't kick me out, like you ORIGINALLY said you wouldn't."

Shizuo felt a little stab of guilt, but quickly smothered it. "Agreed! Now, tell me who it is!"

"Kenichi Yamato, the politician."

"And how do I stop that from happening?" To his irritation, Izaya laughed in a high, lilting voice. It would have been a rather pleasant sound if it weren't coming from a such a scummy fleabag.

"Oh, Shizzu-chan! So noble! I knew that would be your first thought, but there really isn't anything you can do about it...unless..."

"Unless what?" An almost evil smile spread across Izaya's face.

"Unless you want me to help you catch the serial killer."

A/N: Ah, well, that is what I have so far. ;) What do you think? :3