Capetastrophe

By: Vampira Maxwell

Disclaimer: I do not own The Justice League or any of its characters. I am not making any profit or gain from this story whatsoever. And, I'm also extremely poor.

Beta'd by: XXXMystery

Bruce growled. This was the last fucking time they were having sex in Clark's Fortress. The. Last. Time. When he got undressed, he expected to be able to find his clothes again and put them back on when he needed to.

Certainly, he could understand a moment of confusion between two piles of clothes, no matter how differently colored they were. And if this were a business suit rather than his Batsuit that was in question at the moment, he might not be so annoyed. But, this was his Batsuit, dammit, and it wasn't just confusion. His cape and cowl were missing! Just fucking gone!

"Bruce, calm down. We'll find it, okay?" Clark said with a sigh, almost finished dressing as well.

"No, its not okay." Bruce growled angrily, unmasked but using his Bat Voice anyway.

"Hey..." Clark said, looking around, under his bed and anywhere else he could think of.

"...What?" Bruce wasn't going to ask, just to spite Clark, but his curiosity over Clark's odd behavior got the better of him. He turned to fully face his lover.

"My cape is missing, too..."

"I thought this place was secure." Bruce glared.

"It is! Nothing can be in here that I didn't allow in."

"Then...?"

"...Krypto!" Clark called, sternly, immediately leaving the room in an attempt to locate his pet, Bruce hot on his heels.

"That damn dog had better not have slobbered all over my cape!" Bruce warned.

"He's got mine, too, you know." Clark hmphed.

"I'd better not find any holes in it, either." Bruce continued.

Clark stopped and gasped in the doorway, taking up the entire door so Bruce could not see in. He'd also stopped short, causing Bruce to run into him. Which certainly did not amuse the Dark Knight one bit.

"What are you doing? Is he in there? What's he done to my cape? Neither of those ears had better be missing from the cowl!"

"Um...trust me Bruce...he didn't take them for chew toys..." Clark said with disbelief in his voice.

"Then why did he take them? Move, Clark!" he ordered in his best Bat tone. It was ignored.

"Um...well...first promise not to get anymore upset than you already are..." Clark's tone already belied the fact that he knew that was not likely to be a promise made or kept.

"Clark, I'm getting the ring..." Bruce said, making a show of unsnapping one of his utility belt compartments.

Before he could actually open it - it wasn't even the one with the kryptonite ring in it, it contained a batarang - Clark moved on the off chance that Bruce was serious.

Bruce forcefully stepped into the room, as if to intimidate the super dog...but then stopped in his tracks, his eyes wide with surprise. This...this was not anything he'd expected.

"How..." Bruce murmured, resisting the urge to point like a child.

"I...I don't know. I had no idea."

"Your dog is male."

"Yes, Bruce, I know."

"This isn't possible."

"Apparently, it is..."

"He looked normal..."

"Apparently...that's normal for a super dog?"

Bruce turned and glared, before looking back at Krypto.

The dog looked a little tired, but otherwise seemed happy as a litter of six puppies, some white, some spotted, one grey, struggled around on the nest of red and black close to the protection of Krypto's abdomen.

"He...had puppies...on my cape..." Bruce's eye twitched a bit.

"On my cape, too..." Clark reminded.

"He gave birth on my cape!"

"On-"

"If you say on your cape, too, one more time I'm really going to get the kryptonite!"

"Calm down, Bruce..."

"He has blood and fluid all over it! Its ruined!"

"...The puppies are at least kinda cute, though, right?"

"...You have got to get that dog fixed!"

"He didn't spontaneously make puppies on his own, Bruce, it took two dogs to do this." Clark said, his voice somewhat accusing.

"What are you implying?" Bruce's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Well...the little grey one kind of looks like Ace."