AN: I have had the hiccups ALL DAY! So I decided to turn my suffering into...tada! A one shot! My very first speech-only one shot, so let me know what you think.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
Hiccup
…
Hiccup
…
Hiccup.
…
Hiccup
"Potter!"
"How did you know it was me? I was only hiccupping! And I can't help it, they won't go away."
"Because anything that annoying couldn't possibly be coming from any other life form than you, James Potter."
"Ok, I know you think I'm annoying, Evans, but that doesn't make any sense. Everyone gets the hiccups."
…
Hiccup.
"Bloody Hell! Hold your breath or something. Or better yet, go away."
"I've already tried that. I can't get rid of these Bloody hiccups."
"And I can't get rid of you. I'm never going to finish this essay with you breathing down my neck."
"Slughorn loves you, anyway. He'd probably give you an O even if you didn't turn the thing in."
"So what's your excuse for not doing the essay, then?"
"Easy, he hates me, and he'd probably give me a T even if I turned it in."
"He gives you failing grades because even when you turn your work in it's not done properly."
"Sorry that I'm not a perfect student. Anyway, will you help me get rid of these hiccups or not?"
"How am I supposed to help?"
"You're smart; I thought you might know a spell or something."
"No, but my dad used to have us eat something sour to get rid of the hiccups. Try that."
"Something sour? I've never heard of doing that for hiccups."
"Well it always worked for me."
"Fine, I'll try it."
…
"I knew that wouldn't work."
"On the positive side, that ridiculous face you're making is making me laugh."
"Great, Evans. Glad to know I humor you."
"Try holding your breath again, maybe that will help."
…
Hiccup
"Ok, then…try drinking some ice water."
...
Hiccup
"I'm never going to stop hiccupping! It's hopeless."
"Stop acting so dramatic."
…
…
…
…
"See? They've stopped."
Hiccup
"Oh."
"Will you go out on a date with me, Evans?"
"What does that have to do with this situation?"
"I don't know. I ask every day. I figured, why not now?"
"Well the answer is once again no. Although if you'd use my first name for once the answer might eventually change."
"Ok, then. Will you go on a date with me, Lily?"
"No."
"I thought you said the answer would change?"
"I said might and eventually. Key words."
"You got my hopes up."
Hiccup
"Sorry."
"Stop laughing at me."
Hiccup
"I can't help it. You look ridiculous, bouncing up and down every time you hiccup. It's quite entertaining."
"Glad to know my suffering amuses you."
"It does. Wait, where are you going?"
"To find Sirius. If I can't get rid of my hiccups I may as well go hang out with someone who won't laugh at me."
"And you think Sirius is that someone?"
"Ok, fine. I'll find Remus."
"Wait, wait. Ok, I won't laugh at you."
"So you don't want me to leave?"
"I didn't say that."
"But you implied it."
"No."
"Admit it, Evans. You like to be around me."
"James Potter, you annoy me to no end, why would I like to be around you."
"Because you think I'm funny, and attractive, and brave, and-."
"You forgot modest."
"You like me, Lily Evans. I know you do."
"…"
"You're silence says it all. Are you sure you want to turn down my offer for a date?"
"I'm sure."
"Fine, but I'll get you one day, Lily Evans."
"And my little dog too?"
"Huh?"
"Nevermind. It's a Muggle joke. Hey, you haven't hiccupped in a while."
"Hmm, you're right. So will you go on a date with me?"
"James, give it up."
"You know I won't."
"Unfortunately, I know."
"So will you go on a date with me?"
"Will it get you to shut up?"
"Maybe."
"Then yes."
"What? Seriously?"
"Yes, James. I will go on a date with you."
"Wow, I didn't think you'd agree."
"So you want me to change my answer?"
"No! I'll pick you up at noon tomorrow. We can go to Hogsmeade together."
"Ok."
"See you, Eva-…Lily."
"See you, James."
REVIEW! I crave feedback.
Fun Fact: My dad really did have us eat something sour when we had the hiccups. Lemon Juice, to be exact. He kept a bottle of it in the fridge just for that. It was awful xD But it worked. lol.