Repent

Obligatory Disclaimer: I do not own ATLA. It belongs to Mike and Brian.


She watched him as he sat at the end of the dock, staring pensively out at the ocean, the sun slowly sinking below the horizon and setting the sky ablaze in dazzling shades of red and gold. She felt torn about whether or not she wanted to disturb him or approach him-after all, their history had been less than stellar, and she inwardly cringed as she remembered how she'd treated him.

It had been three days since they'd come back from facing down Yon Rah. After they'd returned, Katara had gone to one of the rooms in the Fire Lord's former summer home and slept for a night and a day, completely exhausted from her ordeal, both physically and emotionally. The "Gaang" did their best not to disturb her, understanding how badly she needed to rest.

As soon as Katara was in the privacy of her room, she collapsed and wept until she felt she had no tears in her, and had then fallen asleep. Upon waking, the pain was still there, but also, strangely, a sense of peace. She felt as if she'd been cleansed, and she was finally able to begin releasing the deep seated grief she had carried for so long, and it felt as if an old wound in her was starting to close and heal, and eventually over time, it would possibly fade into a scar.

And right now, she was looking at the boy who had given her what she'd so desperately needed, wanted all these years. Closure. Answers. Peace. Healing. The opportunity to exact revenge on the monster that had so savagely robbed her of her beloved mother.

And she felt gratitude towards him. Gathering her courage, she decided to approach him.

Sitting next to him on the dock, the Prince didn't seem to acknowledge her presence at first.

They sat in silence for a moment before she spoke. "Hey," she said softly.

He turned to look at her, seeming mildly surprised that she'd spoken to him.

"Hey," he responded in kind, golden eyes meeting her ocean blue ones. "How you holding up?"

"I'd be lying if I said that I was okay, but I'm getting there."

He nodded. "That's good."

There was another stretch of silence between them that wasn't quite awkward, but it couldn't be called comfortable either. The sun slipped behind the horizon, and the stars began making an appearance in diamond pinpricks.

Finally inhaling a deep breath, she spoke again. "Zuko, there's something I've been wanting to ask you."

At this, he turned to look at her, giving her his full attention. "What's that?"

"Why did you go with me to find my mother's killer? Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful that you did. More than you realize. You didn't have to do that for me, you know. But I just want to know why."

Looking away from her, Zuko didn't answer immediately, taking the time to formulate a reply. "I went with you because I thought that maybe it would be a way for me to atone for my sins. To convince you that I was sincere. That I had changed,. That I'm not the person I used to be. And also because I know what it's like to lose a mother." At this, a there was a brief flicker of pain across his features. Katara could tell, it was something that was deeply personal to him.

"Your mother. You mentioned her when we were under Ba Sing Se together. What happened to her?" she asked, hesitantly.

Zuko merely shook his head. "I'm not entirely sure. She just disappeared one night when I was ten. But I think it was because she had a hand in the death of my grandfather, Azulon. Originally, Uncle Iroh was supposed to be next in the line of succession, but his son, and my cousin, Lu Ten, died during the battle of Ba Sing Se. My father, being the opportunist that he is, said that since Uncle's bloodline had ended, that he should be the one to take the throne. This enraged Azulon, so in retribution, he wanted to force my father to kill me, because, in his own words, grandfather wanted him to experience the pain of losing a firstborn son."

Katara's hand flew to her mouth, her eyes wide with horror.

The Firebender continued. "So my mother intervened by murdering him. I don't know the specifics, but my best guess is that she poisoned his tea. The last time I saw her, she told me that everything she'd done was to protect me. I didn't understand at the time, but I do now. All the pieces fit. That was the night that she was banished. Although whether or not she's still alive, I don't know. But I wanted to help give you closure, and help you get your answers. I wanted to give you something that I may never have." There was a quiet sorrow to his tone.

At this, Katara felt her heart breaking for him-for this boy that had experienced so much suffering in his life. "Oh, Zuko..." she whispered. "So that's why."

Zuko's expression softened visibly. "Now you know. Are you satisfied?" His tone was surprisingly gentle, and held no anger or accusation.

Katara nodded. "I am. Although I'm sorry I made you bring all of that up."

He shook his head. "Don't be. You told me what happened to your mother, so I thought you deserved the whole story about what happened to mine."

Katara nodded, again. "Fair enough. I'm honored that you're willing to trust me with something so private, especially considering how I've treated you. I've been so awful to you." It was her turn to look away as shame filled her and fresh tears welled in her eyes. What would her mother think of her actions? Would Kya look on from the Spirit World and be disappointed in her? "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Zuko," she whispered. "Can you ever forgive me?"

The ex-Prince's demeanor gentled. This was a side of Katara he'd never expected to see-right now, she wasn't the feisty bender that he'd known as an adversary for so long-here before him was a young girl laid raw and vulnerable, full of remorse for her cruelty towards him-cruelty that he knew hadn't been entirely undeserved, given his grievous betrayal of her. Zuko was deeply moved by her tears. He never imagined that she would be the one asking him to grant her absolution.

"I forgive you, Katara." he said simply, and with complete sincerity.

She wiped at her eyes again, sniffling. "Thank you. That means so much to me to hear you say that."

"You're welcome. The real question is, if my mother is still out there, would she be able to forgive me if she knew all that I've done? What would she think if she knew that I wanted to capture the Avatar-the world's last great hope for peace, all in the name of my family's twisted idea of honor? Would she be ashamed of me? Would she be ashamed to call me her son?" At this, the young Firebender's tone was tinged with a mixture of bitterness and disgust at himself.

"I think she would forgive you." Katara's voice was very soft.

"What makes you say that?"

"Because you're her son. She loved you very much. I can tell. To tell you the truth, I think she'd be proud of you."

"You really think that?" he asked, piercing golden eyes seeming to glow in the darkness. The moon had risen during their conversation.

"I do, Zuko. I truly do. Want to know why?"

"Why?" He asked, voice barely above a whisper.

"Because I see the change in you. I see your penance. I see that you've risked everything to become a better man. I see that you've faced your inner demons, and you fought back. I see who you really are, Zuko. And I see who you can be. I believe in you."

The Prince was silent for a few moments. Then, finally, he spoke.

"The only person that's ever really believed in me was Uncle. He treated me like his own son. He guided me, mentored me, looked after me, only to have me turn on him."

There was a look of deep regret in his eyes. "If I could only find him, I would beg for his forgiveness."

"You'll see him again," Katara said reassuringly. "And he'll forgive you."

"What makes you so sure about that?"

"Because he'll see your penance-like I do. He'll see that you've changed. And he'll be proud of you."

"I hope you're right."

"I know I am. Zuko, I don't think he could ever hate you."

"Yeah. But I wouldn't blame him if he did," he said quietly. "I know I hate myself." The feeling of self-loathing certainly wasn't a new one to him.

"You need to start forgiving yourself. Understand that what you've done is in the past. You've repented. You've made things right with all of us, including me. And you'll be able to make things right with your Uncle." She reached up to touch his shoulder as he seemed to digest what she said.

Katara removed her hand and stood up. "It's getting late. I need to get dinner started."

Zuko stood up with her. "Do you need some help?" he asked suddenly.

Katara was taken aback by the offer and the earnestness of tone, but then smiled warmly at him. "I'd like that."

Zuko found himself smiling in return.

FIN


A/N: This really, really, REALLY isn't my best work. I wrote it for a ficswap on LJ a few months back, and well, I decided to go ahead and post it here. I know, it's not very good, but I wrote it in a crunch.