July Nights

Summary: Before misery and death, there was laughing and adventures. Before distance and betrayal, there was friendship and trust. Before there was Saix and Axel, there was Isa and Lea.
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. If I did, I would've jumped Roxas.
Pairings: No real pairing. If you squint, you can pretend there's some Saix/Axel, Roxas/Axel.

I remember.

You think I've forgotten all about it. When we were so close, it was inconceivable that anything could break us apart. Most people thought we were wrong for one another. You were reckless, stubborn and always picking fights. I was more reserved; I stood on the sidelines and watched. But you and I, we were really meant to be together. Like two halves of the whole. I needed you like the moon needs the sun.

It's funny to think that you believe I changed. Wasn't being on top always our goal? Together, we'd conquer the world? I always scoffed when you spouted off like that. Just you being you usual idiotic self. But every day your determination produced another miracle, I was more willing to believe that we really were meant to do something extraordinary in this world we were born into. For you, I would put my life on the line to fulfill your dreams. Your dreams became my dreams like your life became mine. We would get to the top of the world or die trying.

That's what we did in the end, too. We died for that dream, you and I. Or at least, Lea and Isa died. Like always, you bit off more than we could chew. Then again, how were you supposed to know it was the end of the world? When darkness fell upon us, I watched you get put out first. You were always running ahead of me. Your light was extinguished so easily, so quickly, like a candle by a strong wind. I don't think you ever understood what that moment did to me afterwards. I didn't have the will to fight after watching the darkness swallow the person closest to my heart. In that one moment before I went too, I missed you more than anyone could miss another person. Dying was a relief.

Rebirth was a gift. I almost didn't believe it when I woke up again with you at my side shaking me awake. We were different, and there was no point in saying otherwise. Stronger, faster, but on the inside, hollow. Nothing mattered to me the same way it was supposed to. Eating, breathing, sleeping, it stopped being so vital. For a time, we were aimless. We didn't know what we were supposed to be doing anymore with the second chance we were given. It was Xemnas that reminded us of the dream. Or at lest gave us means of achieving it. With renewed vigor, we started all over again. Trying to get on top of not just the world, but of all worlds. Once Xemnas was out of the way, our dream could be reached with Organization XIII and Kingdom Hearts. How can you blame me for changing when it was you who changed? When it was you who stopped dreaming our dream?

Most of the others think it started when you first met Roxas. I know better. I remember Ventus. In a way, that might have been the beginning. Where the cracks in our friendship originated from. Though you met only once, you cared for him more than you could explain or understand. Whatever the incarnation, Ventus, Roxas, Xion, Sora, you were always drawn in. Even I could understand the draw, the power one being held to change the shape of people's hearts. It was seductive, beautiful, and you couldn't fight it if you tried. But I wished you could've remembered me. That you could've saved room in your heart for the both of us. Every day you spent with Roxas was another step I was being pushed and shut out. You saved all of that room for him, but in the end there was none left for me.

How is it that you never understood that everything I did, I did for you? You think I enjoyed being subservient to Xemnas? You think I liked being in the same room as Xigbar and treat him civilly when I really wanted to throttle him to death? I did what I had to insure that our coup would be successful. When it was time for us to take our place at the head of Organization XIII, we could reclaim our hearts and fully appreciate our goals finally coming to fruition. Even when you turned away from me, I wanted to prove that it could be accomplished. You'd be the one watching me as I brought everything full circle.

Amazing how even though we're nobodies, beings that cannot feel anything, I felt everything concerning you. I felt your existence as clear as day. The only things that ever felt true were things that had to do with you. Did you know I felt it the minute you died again? It wasn't even a surprise when I was later informed by a dusk that you died protecting Sora. If there was one thing you were good at, it was always being unpredictable. But this would be the last loop you'd throw me for.

Under the moon, I stepped out onto the platform feeling all the rage and pain tenfold. This hollow shell of an existence was only worth it as long as you were there too. I knew the minute the boy stepped foot in The World That Never Was that our time was up. There was bittersweet joy in this knowledge. I'd once more follow you in death, and if the boy did his job right, the Organization would burn in hell where it belonged. For a while, I dreamed a little for myself. My own dream, a dream that there was another afterlife for the both of us. One where there was another you and I, born to be side by side, fates entertwined once more. Maybe I'd be lucky enough to go there once this was all over. Ventus would be bound to show up again, but this time, I'd accept that he was a part of your heart. This time, I'd make sure you'd acknowledge I belong there just as much.

Isa and Saix.

Different name, same fate.

Staring up at the Kingdom Hearts, I knew I was ready.

End...

Or just another beginning.

AN: I have no idea where this came from. I don't like either of these characters, I just felt like writing about it. That's all. Song listened to during writing process: I'm a Slave 4 U.