Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns Vampire Academy.

Preface

They always say that love is blind. But why don't they say that love is death? That one suited my life better. For many reasons.

They also always say that love is in the eye of the beholder. That one suited my life perfectly. After all, I was the only one who could really see my lover.

Things weren't always like this. Backwards, I mean. For example, my favourite shadow-kissed effect used to be the bond I share with my best friend, Lissa. Who would have known that that would be demoted for the side effect that used to be the worst, the one that had caused me the most pain? I sure hadn't.

You will lose what you value most. Ha- we had both been right at first, and then I had been wrong. I was in fact what he valued most. He valued me over his own life, his own soul. That was proven when he lost some of his senses; senses that were valuable in his relationship with me. His relationships with everybody and anybody, really. But he wouldn't need them with everybody actually. I was the only one alive in this new life of his.

I could never fully image my life as a fairy tale, with the grand ending that was always, "And they both lived happily ever after." Now I knew why. I had always thought the most important part of that saying was the "happily ever after" part. But I found out early in my life that "they both lived" was the key part.

Or when they say, "Till death do us part." The "us" was the most important word. The saying wasn't "Till death do me part." Lovers are a package-deal. But, ever since that day, I preferred more, "forever and always." That one made more sense to me. Love doesn't fade as soon as the other one dies. Never.

These little things that I was thinking of for the first time, I hadn't thought about them… before now. This new Dimitri had me thinking outside the box at hidden meanings to everything.

Love takes place in many forms. Some people letter write, while others are with each other all the time. Whether or not they are actually physically near each other or emotionally.

Every love is unique and special in its own way. My love story didn't fall short in that. Believe me. Mine is one of a kind.

Some love stories are perfect and magical, and some are mediocre and normal. Some end with death.

And some begin with it. In the end, a part of me died too.

This is my lifelong love story.

Chapter 1

He had been turned.

That's what I knew. The love of my life had been turned into an evil creature of the night. He now lurked in the shadows and stayed hidden from the day.

In that moment, my mother didn't say it aloud. She just put the dots close enough together for me to connect them on my own. I was rather thankful for this. Having it said out loud made everything that much more real. I couldn't afford that. I would break down in front of everybody if I heard the words. The truth.

But he hadn't been found back in the caves. That was what they said. In other words, that could only mean one thing: he was no longer the Dimitri I fell in love with.

"I'm so sorry, Rose." That was all that was left for my mother to say to me. All the comfort in the world wouldn't help my case. He was gone.

You will lose what you value most. Ugh. We had both been wrong. It hadn't been me; it had been his very own soul.

After holding the unstoppable tears inside my lonely, broken heart for a few minutes more, I didn't care who was watching or what they thought; I just let the tears spill over. My mother tried to comfort me further by giving me an awkward sort of hug.

Lissa rushed to my side as well. "Rose, it's going to be okay. I promise." I could tell she was saying this to herself just as much as to me.

I couldn't think. My head was spinning all over the place. A million thoughts crashed my mind at the same time. All I wanted to think about doing was cuddling up in my room. Alone.

And I left.

Nobody bothered following me. They all knew that I didn't want to be around anybody. I needed time to be by myself, in the darkness and comfort of my own room.

Back in my room, I cried all night. Memories of my many moments with Dimitri flashed before my eyes. The pain hurt so much.

Dimitri would have been here for me in an instant had he still been… a dhampir. He would have held me in his precious arms and told me in that soft Russian voice of his, "Everything will be all right, Roza."

But he wasn't here. And he never would be. Not ever again.

Why life was so cruel and unfair, I had no idea. Just when things were finally working out for Dimitri and I, this had to happen.

Never again would I love. Alive or undead, or even dead, my heart would belong to him forever. As long as his very last breath that he'd taken lingered on this Earth, my soul remained his.

-xxx-

I woke up in a start with a crazy thought placed in my mind. Russia. I was going to Russia. Where else would he have been?

We'd made a promise. I remembered it so vividly now. As we rode in that van, on our way to the mall, Dimitri and I had made an unspoken promise to each other. I had to follow through on that. I had to save him from this horrible state he was in. He would have done the same for me.

I couldn't think about what I was going to do. I didn't know how I was going to go through with this. Seriously, how could I really have destroyed whatever was left of the man of my dreams?

But as I packed my bag, I grew more determined. I was really going through with this. I didn't give my brain the chance to think this over rationally for fear of changing my mind. I couldn't do that. Not to me and especially not to Dimitri. He needed me to do this. For him. For us.

As my hands grabbed the things I would need most on my trip, I realized that, not only would I be leaving the Academy and all my training behind, but I would in addition be leaving Lissa behind. My best friend. I didn't want to do this to her. I knew she would be extremely upset with me. But I knew I had to do what felt right to me. It was time for me to live my own life and do what I wanted to do. I couldn't follow her around everywhere. That was the simple path, a path my life would never lead me on whatever the situation. I was starting to comprehend this more and more each and every day.

I decided to give my mind a break from Lissa. I'd given her my moment of guilt. I couldn't continue to dwell on that. Instead, I thought of Adrian.

Adrian. A good friend to me. Even though he was sometimes annoying, he meant more to me than I lead on. He would do anything for me. I just hoped he would do the next biggest favour on my list of requirements.

I left my bag inside my room as I went off to find Adrian. I still had many more things to do before my leave of absence.

As I reached Adrian's door, I knocked. I shook slightly as I waited, nervous. Approximately thirty seconds later, he answered. I could tell he was pretty depressed, which wasn't a good sign considering his usual charismatic self.

"Little dhampir," he answered. "What brings you to this neck of the woods?"

"Can I come in, Adrian?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Of course. Anywhere I'm allowed, you're allowed," he replied enthusiastically, as expected. He seemed in better spirits now. Now that I was here. Not to sound egotistical.

He gestured for me to come in, and I made my way over to the couch in front of the TV. He sat himself beside me.

He stared me down, which sort of intimidated me. I wasn't used to feeling that. It must have been the mood I was in; I wasn't used to feeling small, until now.

I gazed back at him, wondering what he was waiting for. Then, I understood. He was waiting for a reply to his initial question, the one he'd asked me before I had asked to enter. I decided to tell him honestly. "Adrian, I need your help. You see, I'm sort of leaving the Academy." I had no other way to put it.

This caught him off guard. "What do you mean you're sort of leaving the Academy? How is that possible? You're either leaving or you're not," he retorted, agitated. I hated making Adrian upset. He was usually all cheerful and what not, and I felt really bad when this kind of behaviour escaped him.

I didn't let on to that though. I didn't show how much I cared that he was angry. "You know what I mean." That was it. That was all that would come out of my mouth that was usually so full of words. I was always so great at expressing myself. Except now.

"No, I don't know what you mean," he shot back with even more fury.

"Look Adrian," I pleaded desperately with him. "I am going away. And I need money to help me survive." I prayed he would understand if I put it like that.

"Why are you even leaving in the first place? And why would I give you money anyways?"

"First of all, I'm leaving because I have to. I can't stay here anymore. I need a break. I need to get away from everything." A small lie. "As for moneywise, I know you have it. I feel bad for asking, but please, Adrian, just this one favour for me." I smiled my famous Rose Hathaway smile and cuddled up to him. This was a new low for me. I knew that. But I had no other choice. I had to free Dimitri. And if this was the only way…

"Fine!" he surrendered, pretending to be annoyed. "Do you know how difficult it is to stay mad with you? I'm so crazy, but okay, you can have the money. And yes, you can leave me. For a little while. Ugh."

I smiled a true, genuine smile. I was really happy. I couldn't stand him being angry with me. I didn't want our last conversation to end like that.

"Thank you, Adrian! You have no idea how much this means to me!" I gave him a big hug and felt him hug me back.

"You're welcome, Little dhampir. Anything for you." He patted my arm. "Don't I always come through for you?" he smirked.

I swapped his arm playfully. A smile rested on my face.

Moreover, he went to make phone calls. I heard him speaking rapidly into his cell phone. Once he hung up, he explained everything to me. He told me at what bank I would receive his money. In addition, he handed me a lot of cash that he already had on him.

He didn't want me to leave, but I knew my time was up. Unwillingly, he walked me to his door. Before opening it though, he spoke, "Rose, will you give me a chance when you come back?"

"What are you talking about?" I had a feeling I already knew what he meant.

"Will you give me a fair shot? As your boyfriend?" I looked at his face. He was dead serious.

Once again, I had to lie. About ever going out with him and ever even coming back to the Academy. "Yes. I will," I said, trying my best to sound honest.

As a return to his beaming smile, I gave him a quick kiss on his cheek, looked at him for what I thought would be the last time, and then turned towards the door leaving him alone in his room.

-xxx-

They hadn't been happy about the mention of my departure. Kirova hadn't liked the news one bit. But it had had to be done. I had appeared purposely unemotional while handing in the paperwork of my withdrawal. That was all I could do to not cringe as she took the papers that would ruin my career away from me. I didn't want to think about it.

I couldn't stop thinking about Lissa, unlike what I'd promised myself. I was unable to build up the nerve to talk to her. Nonetheless, she didn't know that I was leaving. And I planned to keep it that way. For now. Until she found out some other way. Through my noticeable absence.

I walked across campus, all the way to the gates. After much arguing and frustration, the guards finally let me through.

As soon as I stepped through the wards that protected the Academy, I saw him. Mason. He was very faint, as if he could disappear at any second. And I realized that that was exactly it. It was time for him to go. It was long past forty days now. And he'd come to say goodbye.

"Goodbye, Mason," I said sadly, as I waved. "I'll miss you. But I'll see you soon."

He waved back with a smile on his face before disappearing into nothing. Thin air replaced the spot where he had previously been standing.

-xxx-

The plane was landing in Russia when I woke up. My first day in Russia ever was my eighteenth birthday. I had always expected my first time in Russia and my eighteenth birthday to go by differently. Not intertwine into the same day.

The plane ride had been long. Since I was out of the wards, I had to try with great effort to keep the walls that protected me from the ghosts up. Fatigue was taking over me though.

All passengers received the okay to get off the plane, and I walked off the plane, carrying my carry-on. Luckily, I hadn't brought any luggage, so I wouldn't have to wait long to retrieve anything like everyone else.

In spite of this, the airport was crowded and I knew it would take forever to get out. Ugh. I had forgotten how slow human airports could be. And believe me, I was not a patient person.

I exited the airport as soon as I could. I saw a bunch of people and taxis all over the place. Seeing the swarm of people made me even more exhausted. I felt like I was lacking in the sleep department and had a feeling that, by the end of this trip, I would more likely than not become sleep deprived. I didn't have any time to waste on sleep.

The sun was setting, which meant it was the end of the vampire night. Students at the Academy would be waking up soon, and Lissa would notice my disappearance. I dreaded that. I made myself a mental note to check on her through the bond later.

Thinking back to me, I didn't think I could carry on without a pause. I wasn't feeling much for socializing with taxi drivers and people who could direct me to the right places.

I glanced to the right and noticed a bench. It wasn't in a busy area of the exterior of the airport. There was only one man sitting, with two others standing beside him. They weren't talking. As I moved closer, I was able to describe them more. The two standing were dhampirs. The other one sitting was a Moroi. He was tall and slim. He was very tan and had black hair with dark eyes. His clothing was… whoa. I would have to think too much in order to describe him to the fullest. And my brain was fried. Let's just say he didn't look like your average Moroi.

I sat down, brave. I wouldn't let him intimidate me. Rose Hathaway never backs down.

To my astonishing surprise, he spoke to me, "Hello there."

Rose, you're not supposed to talk to strangers. Especially creepy ones, I reminded myself.

He continued, "I'm Abe Mazur. And you are?"

Get up and walk away, Rose. You owe him nothing. But I couldn't resist. I was curious about him.

So I answered, "I'm not supposed to give my name out to strangers, sir. Sorry." I said this in a fake, high-pitched, little girl's voice.

"Smart. Your mom taught you well," he mused.

"Sure she did," I muttered sarcastically, in a disbelieving tone.

"I wonder if my daughter has just as much as an attitude as you," he questioned to himself.

I nearly began to speak irrationally without thinking. I had enough self-control now to do otherwise, though. It was just… I had always thought Moroi men didn't care about their children. Most didn't stay long nor make an effort to watch them grow up. And, this guy really did seem to care. I sort of pitied him.

"Your, uh, daughter?" I stumbled out.

He sighed. "Never mind. It doesn't matter. Anyways, Miss I'm-not-supposed-to-give-my-name-out-to-strangers, what brings you to Russia? You're obviously American."

"What brings you to the airport?" Ha-ha. For once, Deirdre's sessions served me well. Answering someone else's question with another question. And they say I never listen.

He chuckled. "Well, if you must know, my flight was delayed. They allowed me to wait outside. I'm quite down to Earth, you know. Usually I take private planes, but I decided today to go public. For personal reasons," he whispered at a notch lower than before.

"I can see that you're the type of person who carries a hidden agenda. Am I right?"

He smiled slyly. "Intuitive." He really was weird. And I liked it. "Now stop changing the subject. Why are you in Russia?" Or maybe not.

I contemplated on what to tell him. I never really was an open book to people about my personal problems. Then, I thought, why not? It couldn't hurt, right? I mean, back at the Academy they all thought I needed a counselor. This wasn't exactly the same. But letting my problems out on an unknown stranger could help, right?

Against my better judgment, I decided to update him briefly about the current events in my life. "You see, I lost the love of my life. He is now strigoi. I'm having trouble coping and I know I'll never love anyone ever again. Not after him."

He actually laughed at me. Now that infuriated me.

He chastised me, "You're just like every other teenager. Everyone thinks their first love is the only love they'll ever have. But I promise you, a pretty girl like you will find somebody else in no time. Of course, a part of you will always hold on to this dream guy of yours, but you will be happy with someone else."

Why did I think telling him about my love life would make me feel better? I had been right: counselors didn't help solve problems. I regretted speaking to him now. He didn't understand. He didn't know what true love meant. I couldn't believe that I'd actually pitied him before. Why had I even talked to him to begin with? He was useless. Probably in a bad gang too. I hoped this wouldn't affect my future. You know, go on my personal record.

He didn't deserve to hear anything else from me. So I got up off the bench and walked off, not saying a word. I wouldn't look back.

"It was nice meeting you!" he called out from behind me. Still, I refused to look back. "Your heart will heal. I guarantee it." I could almost hear the amusement in his voice.

Yeah, my life is one big joke, I wanted to yell back to him.

Since I didn't have a taxi nor did I intend on going back to get one, I decided on walking. Surely I would have found a nice hotel nearby.

As I walked, I glanced around Moscow. Dimitri had been right. It was beautiful. Lights flooded the streets. A multitude of people pranced around. It was so vibrant and lively. I wished I could have come here in better circumstances. I knew well enough that dreams didn't always come true though.

I stopped when I found a hotel that looked pleasurable enough. I checked in at the lobby where the guy at the counter gave me the card to my room. Room 935.

In the elevator, I made a layout in my head of my day's (or night, depending on how you look at it) plan. I decided to just drop my bag off quickly in my room, and then go explore the city. Really though, all I wanted to do was sleep. It might have been the start of the vampire daytime, but this mission had already messed up my sleep cycle.

As I made my way down the hall to room 935, I felt exhaustion even more than before. The barriers I worked so hard to keep up began to falter. All that crying and the flight had made me overtired.

When I made it to my room, I let my barriers fall slightly. I figured that wouldn't have been as bad as it would have been had I let them drop completely.

But I was not prepared for what stood before me in my hotel room. A translucent figure stood in the centre of the room, facing me.

And he was not Mason.

He was about a foot taller than me and had shoulder-length hair. I gasped as I took in his luminescent appearance.

Dimitri.

So, this is another idea that came to me. I realize that this chapter is awfully like the ending in Shadow Kiss, but this was crucial in order for me to set this story up to the place where I want the actual adventure to start. It is also jumpy because I didn't want to write so many chapters just about something you've already read. So, I decided to condense everything into one.

Now tell me, what do you think? Do you like it? Should I continue? Please let me know! Every review counts! =D