Note: This chapter made me change this rating to M. Be forewarned. I decided Bella's POV.

I waited for hours for Edward to come home, but I waited in vain. I heard as Alice skipped into his room, sounding elated, but I heard the huff of air as she picked up his guitar. She knocked on the wall.

"Bella? You there?" Alice asked, sounding a little nervous.

"Hey Alice, what's up?" I said, trying to think of an excuse fast enough.

"Have you heard Edward in here today? He's not at home, at least, that's what I think." She commented, sounding totally unsure and hopeful that I had heard him.
"Yeah, he said that he would be back late and to tell you if you guys asked. He skipped out of here pretty fast so he wanted to make sure you guys knew." I said, breathing out the lie like I always do.

She sighed. "Can you just make sure he gets home tonight? If he doesn't, can you call me?" I agreed and she told me her phone number as I scrawled it on a piece of paper. I could only hope that Edward would come back tonight. He'd sounded pretty upset and I had no clue what to do about it. To me, he was an absolute asshole, but underneath that, I could see there was a lot of hurt . I sighed as I lay on my bed, relaxing as I slowly closed my eyes. Slowly but surely, I fell straight asleep.

I heard the phone call as I slowly opened my eyes. I checked the caller ID and recognized it as Edward's number. Alice had given it to me "just in case". I didn't know what she meant by that, but I suppose I did now. I picked it up quickly.

"Edward, where the fuck are you?" I shrieked as I answered the phone. He just chuckled.

"Calm down Bella. I'm out in the middle of the desert. Can you come pick me up?" He said, still chuckling.

"How the hell am I supposed to find you? I don't know where the fuck you are, or how the fuck to get there. Anything else you can tell me, genius?" I said, sarcasm dripping into my voice.

He just laughed. "Go down route 17 for about, oh, I don't know, an hour. You'll find me. My car just ran out of gas. Can you call a tow truck as well. I don't want to leave my wife down here in the middle of nowhere. No clue who comes by here. They could steal her!" Edward said, sounding half way joking, and also very serious. I just rolled my eyes and hung up.

Sure enough, I rode one hour outside Phoenix down Route 17 and I found a car with it's headlights on that I immediately recognized as Edward's. I smiled in relief, not only that I found him, but that I wasn't stuck with creepy tow truck man following behind me. I was terrified that I would get stuck without gas in the middle of the desert with no one but the creepy tow truck driver to help me. I shuddered. I was a little confused when I didn't see Edward in the car and instantly became worried, but it instantly disapated as his head popped up from the other side of the car.

I rolled down the window, slightly angry, slightly relived. "What the fuck do you think you're doing? I may not be your best friend, but you don't have the right to scare me! I told your parents that you had told me that you were coming back late, so I want an explanation." I yelled, and Edward just gave me his crooked smile and attempted to climb in my car. I wasn't having that.

"Apologize!" I screamed, getting angrier by the second. He wasn't taking me seriously at all and I was furious about it. He sighed.

"I'm sorry, Bella, for worrying you. I just had some things I needed to work out." Edward looked like a kicked puppy out in the rain and my heart instantly melted. I could feel my face soften as I unlocked the doors. I suddenly remembered his sobbing only a few hours previous and I wanted to cry. I noticed how…naked he was. Edward must've been freezing in the desert at this time of the night, and suddenly, I wanted to scream again.

"What the hell is wrong with you? I heard when you were upset earlier but what the hell made you run off, especially into the desert? You could've got killed!" I shrieked again. I needed to touch him, just to make sure he was okay, so I settled with a light slap to the head. He felt cold, but otherwise fine. I breathed in relief. I noticed Edward starting to squirm.

"Did you hear me…you know?" He asked, and my heart broke a little more. Edward was obviously uncomfortable and started fingering his wrists. I noticed two old scars that were obviously very deep when they were cut. Did he try to kill himself?

I sighed. It wouldn't be feasible to lie in this situation. "Yes Edward, I heard you breakdown. I just kind of wanted to know why. Was it me?" I was praying the answer was no. I couldn't take it if I made the ever strong Edward cry. I looked into his eyes and saw pain and anxiety.

"Can you pull over so we can talk?" He asked. I breathed in deeply, preparing for the worst. I placed my eyes on the road. It was like my own support system, and I was honestly preparing for something much different than what came out of his mouth.

"You see Bella, there's this girl with dark brown hair that runs down her back. She's gorgeous and smart and funny.. She's petite, with small hands, and she's short. She's one of those girls that some people overlook, but I think she's gorgeous. She's clumsy as fuck." I felt my heart skip a beat. Was he talking about me? My heart instantly melted. I couldn't think of anyone else with this description. I thought about Edward and I realized why he was so annoying to me. Did he love me? "…and she reminds me exactly of you. I think I may still be in love with her." I could've screamed. My entire life I'd been waiting for someone, anyone, to love me, and here he was. What was his real personality like, when he wasn't trying to impress me?

I instantly thought of Jacob and the last time I saw him. It was the worst night of my life.

"Bella, I love you. Will you please just do this for me?" Jacob asked. I shook my head. He grabbed my hands, pulling me close.

"Come on, Bella, you know you want it. I can feel how much you want me." He said as he grabbed me closer. He palmed my breasts as he started to pull off my top.

"Jacob, stop!" I screamed as I scratched at him, but he grabbed both of my hands and squeezed them hard, locking them above my head with one hand. He ripped my shirt off and pawed at my bra. Jacob started kissing my neck and made his way down until he reached my nipples. He started licking them and I kept screaming.

"Quiet bitch!" He commanded as he palmed me under my skirt. I screamed louder.

"Jacob, NO!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. He didn't listen as he started to pull down my skirt. I kicked and screamed to no avail. He started touching me all over my body as I broke down crying. Jacob put his hands down my panties and started stroking all over me. I cried as he pounded two fingers inside of me. Jacob pulled his fingers out and I knew where this was going. I kicked him right in between his legs and he doubled over in pain. I ran downstairs to the kitchen as he lay there, panting. I grabbed the longest, sharpest knife I could, and I grabbed the phone, calling the my dad's office's number. They answered almost immediately. I told them exactly where I was and that he was sexually assaulting me, and then I saw Jacob.

He looked murderous at me as I got very angry. I told the people on the phone what was happening as he moved towards me. As soon as he got close to me, I stabbed him with the knife, not daring to care. Jacob doubled over again, clutching his shoulder where the knife was still lodged. I took a leap of faith, and ran, phone still in hand. By the time I got out to the road, the police were already there. I broke down sobbing on my knees onto the gravel. I felt a blanket be covered over me as my dad's coworkers carried me to the police car and I realized that I was almost naked. I cried the entire way to my dad's house, where my mom was waiting. I had never felt more exposed and embarrassed, but I grabbed my mom close, happy to be alive.

Jacob knew he had no case against the stabbing, so he immediately dropped the charges that he had first thrown against me, but I pressed charges against him for the sexual assault. It still hadn't gone to court when I moved, and I was going to have to go back to testify against him. I was terrified.

It had taken me a lot of thinking to realize that Jake never cared about me in any way, he just wanted me for my body. I realized that he never loved me like he said, and no one had ever loved me for me. All of the time he was lying and no one ever wanted me for me, and that broke my heart over and over again.

Now, I just couldn't believe that Edward loved me. Edward kept talking.

"Her name…her name is beautiful. Literally." He said. I nearly choked. He had to be talking about me. How could he not be? Could I fall in love with this devilishly handsome man? I couldn't understand how he saw through me enough to fall in love with me, but I was ready to give him a chance. I thought about the entire time that I had been with him. He was really sweet when he didn't feel threatened.

"Her name is Taylor and she was my girlfriend. She hurt me so badly, and I think I still love her." I sighed as I immediately started crying. I should've known. No one ever loves me, and I could feel my heart breaking again. Edward wouldn't like me. Of course not. Jacob's words the last time he saw me rang clear in my head.

"Bella! No one will ever want you but me! You're damaged goods and no man will want you. They'll see right through you and who wants a petty little bitch who can't please her man? I already found a new woman anyway whose name is Leah on the res. At least she can do something right!" Jacob screamed as I got in the car to go to the airport. I ended up not getting a restraining order because we lived in different states and it would've been useless with us so far away from each other.

I felt the few tears roll down my face as Edward looks so concerned at me. I couldn't let him, or anyone else really, hurt me this badly. I wiped my eyes and put on a smile for him.

"Bella? Bella, are you okay?" He asked and I just nodded. I felt myself shut down as I closed my eyes.

"I'm just really sad that you were so badly hurt. I would never want that for you. Is there anything I can do?" I asked, my voice sounding nothing like myself. I knew he couldn't continue with this story without me crying.

"Just take me home. We can talk about this another time." Edward smiled at me lightly and I turned the car back on. I just wanted to make it home before I broke down again. I didn't look at him the entire time that I drove, knowing that if I looked at him, I would immediately break down again. I got to the house, practically bursting at the seams as I shut off the car. I ran out as quickly as possible and I ran upstairs. I knew my parents were asleep and I had given them a warning before I left so they knew I was coming home late.

I ran to my room and collapsed on the bed. I starting sobbing very suddenly and I nuzzled my face into the bed, knowing Edward would be up soon, but I couldn't stop each cry out of my mouth as I practically screamed into my pillow.

"No. One. Will. Ever. Love. Me. Not my dad, not Jacob, no one. And I deserve it." I felt dirty, tricked, and very used as I scratched at my arms and legs, remembering the feeling of his hands all over me. I never wanted him to love me, but I wish that everything had turned out differently. "I'll never be good enough. Never been good enough. I try and I try but I' m never good enough and I don't know why."

I slowly cried myself to sleep.

A/N: I was going to make it both points of view, but this chapter capped off at about 2250 words, and it took me a long ass time to do, so this is it for right now. This was an emotional chapter, so let's go with 7 reviews.

As for all of you who start following me, my stories, and subscribing to them but never reviewing, remember I get emails saying you're looking at my stories, so I'd really appreciate the reviews, considering how hard I work at this to make this story good. Thanks!

-Kassie