Heymans Breda always looked for trouble after he finished his work. At times he found it at a bar, at a casino, or even at a chuck-e-cheese. Today, he didn't have to look too far. He walked into his office after forgetting his jacket. The room was vacant save for one young alchemist. He was at his desk totally absorbed in whatever it was he was reading. Breda closed the door with a loud click, and his head shot up and he slammed the book closed. He was tense like he'd just been caught by the police. The man paused for a moment, but smirked and continued to his desk. On his way, he had to pass the teen's desk and he caught a glimpse at the book he was reading. The cover said something like, 'Business ethics as it pertains to Alchemy.' But that isn't what caught his attention. He noticed that the pages of the book were an off-white signifying age and use, but right in the middle the pages were new. The top cover was at an angle, so he knew Ed was hiding something in there. He looked Ed in the eyes and the boy averted his gaze. While he did so, Breda slipped whatever it was from within the book. He slid it in his breast pocket without looking at it. By the time Ed turned his head around, Breda was sitting at his desk doing what looked like stealing pens and stamps.

Ed took no notice and opened his book to retrieve what he had hidden. He almost screamed when he found that it wasn't there. He quickly looked under his desk and around it. With doom filling his stomach, he slowly looked over at the man who was flipping through a small magazine. Ed's eyes widened when he recognized the title.

HOT MECHANICS! FIXING ALL YOUR PARTS!

"Interesting choice in literature, Boss."

"YOU GIVE THAT BACK!" he roared before he pounced. Breda avoided him by pushing his rolling chair with his feet. He was surprisingly good at maneuvering the furniture around the large office. Ed was at a full sprint trying to retrieve the smut. Breda's chair got snagged on the corner of the rug and he stopped. He held the book up at high as he could while sitting, but that was enough. Ed still couldn't reach it. Ed was now trying to climb on Breda's lap so he can snatch it back, when the door opened.

"Fullmetal, I hope you weren't planning on-" was as far as Mustang got before he noticed the scene before him. He saw two of his subordinates fighting on a rolling chair over what looked like pornography. He shrugged his shoulders.

"I'll come back later." He said before he closed the door. Once he was gone, the fight resumed. Breda managed to get the boy off of him and held him at a distance with his arm against his chest.

"Say Ed, isn't that girl back in Risembul an Automail Mechanic?"

"Shut up! C'mon, give it back!" He was almost ready to burst into tears of humiliation.

"Relax Ed. I'm not going to bust your balls over this…okay, maybe a little. But who am I to stop you from reading this crap? I did when I was your age!" Ed stopped flailing his arms and looked at the man skeptically.

"You?"

"Pfft! Hell yeah, these were my treasures! Imagination only did so much, you know? How did you get these?" Besides the fact that he looked ten or twelve, any reputable adult book store would card him. Ed dropped his shoulders and sighed.

"If I tell you, will you give it back?"

"Unless you stole it."

"No, I did not steal it! Al and I were at a convenience store and I slipped it into the pile of things we were getting. No one would think Al was under eighteen, and he didn't even notice that he bought porn. Wait, you're not gonna tell him are you?"

"I wasn't going to…but why would he care? I'm sure he has urges too."

"Well, he probably does…but he can't…you know…act on…them." Breda nodded sympathetically.

"Alright, here you go. But I wouldn't bring these in here again. Havoc and Mustang would probably never let you live it down."

Ed snatched it back and ran from the room.

The next day, after everyone else left the office, Breda dropped a cardboard box on Ed's desk. Ed looked up at the man, but he was already closing the door behind him. Ed took a peek in the box and all he saw was breasts. He quickly closed the flimsy lid and saw that Breda has drawn a pirate's treasure chest on the top. Once ensuring that no one else was in the room, Ed cautiously opened it again. Among all the rags, he saw a note in it.

Boss,

Use these wisely. You get caught with them, you don't know me. Don't worry, they're new and CLEAN.

-HB

AN: Sorry this was so short you guys. I'm off to College tomorrow and I wanted to give you fine people something since you've been waiting so patiently. I am currently working on the second chapter of "Part of the Team," since people were hoping for one. It makes sense to make it a multi-chapter story. So that's what I'm doing. Ta-ta for now.