Dragon Age: A Bard's Love

Chapter O12

Deep in Thought

"Getting any better?" Garrden asked sitting in a chair holding an unnecessarily full glass of wine and shaking the glass in a way for the wine to whirl around in. Leliana looked over to Cogdale who was still lying on the orlesian settle with his eyes closed. He said not a word and only shook his head. "My vision is still injured." He sighed and crossed his arms. Garrden shrugged and took a sip from the wine. The elf may act unruly but his upbringing in nobility did give him etiquette. "The storm is still raging outside." One of Silas' friends said entering the room. Silas nodded his head and offered the man a seat.

"No thanks Silas, I don't want to make this moment awkward in anyway." He said returning to wherever he was previously. "Who is that?" Leliana asked. "That is Duvlin but we call him Duv for short. I met up with him after leaving the Templars." Silas said taking in a breath of burning firewood. "He was just like me, cept for the part that he was literally kicked out of the Templars." Silas chuckled.

"Plenty of stories with that bloody man." Leliana turned around on the book settle she sat upon. Ehmric was once again being a lone dwarf as he stood by the fireplace. The structure must've reminded him of home.

"So may I ask Warden…" Silas tried to say before Cogdale raised his hand and silenced him. "Don't call me that. I left the Wardens right after I shoved the dull blade into the Archdemon's thick skull." Cogdale grunted rubbing his nose bridge.

"Apologies." Silas nodded and continued with his question. "Speaking of the Archdemon, what was the battle of Denerim like?" Silas threw his arm over the back of his settle. Slowly getting up Cogdale opened his eyes. Leliana knew he couldn't see anything as they did not focus on anything and randomly shook around.

"What would you like to hear? The Glorified version or the realist version?" Cogdale queried but genuinely and not sarcastically. "Of course the real version, from your eyes… umm I mean your perspective." Silas choked.

"Well then…" Cogdale began talking but Leliana zoned it out, she didn't want to relive that day. Seeing all the death and destruction. The moment she saw Cogdale get a sword shoved through him. Watching him become lifeless along with the Archdemon. Her eyes wandered to the windows high above. She saw glimmers of lightning outside but the fireplaces inside the room muted the thunder that followed. She looked over to hallways that Helena was wandering around in and saw they must've been for some of art gallery of some sort. Full of paintings and sculptures made out of various things such as marble or straps of leather collectively tied around each other forming the shape of a horse.

After talking with Silas and her friends for several hours in the living quarters; a room surrounded by an unneeded 4 fireplaces and the scent of candles and perfume just waiting to cause someone to faint. Leliana was starting to get heavy eyed. "Wow… I haven't been just naturally tired in weeks." She smiled rubbing her eyes. "Your room is just down the eastern hall and take a right, it will be the third room at the end of the hallway." Silas said lifting his chalice in the direction of the eastern wing. "Leliana I'll need your help to guide me there. Being blind isn't all that it's been made out to be." Cogdale chuckled.

Leliana smirked and reached for Cogdale's hand to lift him off the furniture. "Actually Cogdale." Silas interrupted. "You'll be in one of the galleries. Helena will be with you to help you heal faster along with some herbal alchemists that reside here from time to time." Silas said with a jolt.

"Oh… Cogdale what do you think?" Leliana whispered in his ear. "I think he may have a point, this way I have some help in the morning." Cogdale said scratching his head unknowingly. "I could help you Cogdale." Leliana said touching his face softly. "I know you could but after the fiasco of Lydes with the black eyes and broken nose." Cogdale trailed off into embarrassed mumbling. Leliana was a bit angry when he brought up the accident that Helena and her caused him.

"Fine have it your way, Warden." Leliana stomped off breathing heavily from letting her anger roll down like a snowball getting bigger and bigger. "If he wants dirty, stupid, unprofessional and curious hands rubbing all over him for the night and morning then that's just fine!" she hissed marching down the wrong hallway and twisting around to head back for the eastern wing for her bedroom which was appropriately labeled the Solar, Old Orlesian terminology for an expensive bedroom.

Following Silas' directions she snaked her way around the hallways. Servants still loyal to Marjolaine but who didn't know any better about this unknown guests exited dark rooms and headed for the kitchen to drop off their cleaning supplies.

Walking inside the crimson satin red room that would be her accommodations for the coming future she looked around a bit while her eyes became heavier and heavier like an anchor of a ship or boat. Almost all but 2 candles weren't lit. But even the light from them made her wince. She shuffled over to her bed and touched it. Velvet touched by the purest of silks. She tossed off her clothing so she could allow her body rest for once. The inns and taverns they had stayed at over the past few years had beds but they were never beds someone could rest and gain their stamina back on.

"Finally some real rest." Leliana sighed collapsing head first into one of the many expensive beds the Chateau harbored. Almost everything about the bed was soft. She almost thought she was still falling when she was being swallowed by the large blankets. She tried her best to calm her over active mind so she could actually fall asleep. But her thoughts got the best of her, as she lay in her room for nearly half an hour still awake.

She wondered how long they could actually stay under their enemy's nose before things got dirty. Then her mind randomly brought up the fact that Cogdale and her had failed yet again to get her pregnant. She frowned at the ceiling wondering why it was so difficult. She understood the taint of the darkspawn lowered the chances significantly but she never realized to this extent. But a thought popped into her mind that made her stomach become ill.

"What if it's me?" she sighed to herself. She looked at her hands for a brief moment wondering why all the events in the past had all happened to her. What role she was to play in the world, and why The Maker had it that way.

She slowly felt her stomach and prayed to The Maker for life to happen. Her isolation with herself was ended when someone opened the door to her room. She was too tired to look up to see who it was. The person sat down next to her on the bed and collapsed him or herself. Leliana reached with her hand to see if she could identify this person without having to open her eyes and look. But the clothing on the person wasn't someone she remembered. But from the firm body, could tell that it was a man lying next to her.

"Cogdale? Change your mind?" Leliana whispered. No answer came to her. She had to force her eyes open to see who had decided to barge in the room on her. It was Silas; Leliana quickly got up from the bed and slid away from him. "Silas?" She said with confusion. Silas still didn't say anything and only sat up. Silas looked intently at Leliana as several more seconds passed as he continued to stare at her quietly.

"You could've knocked first you know" she said covering her chest up. Luckily it was dark enough in the room that no one could notice she had gone to bed topless. He cleared his throat, stood up, bowed and left the room. She didn't stand for that and swiftly threw on a silky top that she found in the wardrobe and went after him.

"EXCUSE ME." Leliana shouted at Silas. He turned around and looked at her with comforting eyes. "Yes?" he asked. "What right do you have? That it makes it okay for you to come into my quarters while I'm asleep and lay next to me?!" She wanted to know. He smiled and held his hand out. In his grasp were several folded pieces of paper. Leliana knew what they were and took a step back. "Oh… my." She blushed and Silas' smile grew. "Oh… Silas." She felt so ashamed and hid her face in her hands. "Silas, you know I'm with Cogdale… right?" She asked to see if he got the picture. His smile disappeared quickly after she asked. "Oh, I didn't realize." His face saddened from what she could guess was the realization.

"I'm so sorry Silas." She walked towards him slightly to see if she could talk to him about their supposed relationship they had. "We'll… talk about it later Leliana." Silas said quickly running off. She sighed realizing that she forgot about their lover letters they had when she was in the Lothering chantry.

She slowly turned to walk back to her room. "Great another problem for my thoughts." She sighed. She was still naïve and flirtatious when she decided to send letters to Silas as he tried to hide with the chantry as well with becoming a templar. But over the months with the letters the templars learned of their relationship and kicked him out from the training. She didn't mind the flirting with him, she was still young. But, she had led her friend astray with the letters and completely ignored them once she was bored with them.

She wanted to have an excuse for her behavior and actions but there really wasn't. She would have to apologize in the future while they stayed at Marjoram. She hoped Silas would understand or perhaps be already over and done with it. But this is a man who had as much hate for Marjolaine that Leliana had.

Enough anger that he alone stormed her secret Chateau out in the middle of nowhere. So that little hope quickly dissipated in the back of her mind. But for now she was too tired to really worry about Silas and his feelings for her. The talk they had earlier was very informative. She explained what she had done the past 2 years with Cogdale the "Hero of Ferelden" he seemed enamored by her recollection of the 5th Blight but it was more the fact that she was sitting right in front of him. She shivered thinking that he hadn't listened to her and just watched her.

Once she had returned to her room to try and sleep her fatigue had somehow disappeared. She decided perhaps a glass of wine would help her fall asleep and so she made her way to the kitchen, which was on the west wing. The room that they all had convened in was now dark the fires put out and empty except for Ehmric was laid on the settle that Cogdale was previously resting on. She took a candle that was still alight and tip toed her way into the west wing. More bedrooms were situated on this wing as she curiously looked in each room to see who was where.

The first room she looked into was Garrden. The elf wasn't asleep but instead was fiddling with a cloth in his hands at the end of his bed. Leliana knocked on the doorframe to get his attention. The elf swiftly hid the cloth underneath him. "Leliana? I thought you were asleep." He whispered. "And what are you wearing?" He gasped looking away.

"Oh come off it elf, we're friends." Leliana scolded him. "I thought I was tired but couldn't fall asleep so I thought to get a glass of wine or something in the kitchen to help me fall asleep." She looked back into the hallway for a brief moment to see if anyone was patrolling it.

"Seeing as you aren't asleep either, care to join me?" Garrden looked at Leliana for a second and then nodded and leaped off the end of the bed. "Why didn't you have a glass when he asked if you wanted one hours ago?" Garrden asked as they began their small adventure through the west wing.

"One word elf." Leliana paused. "Lydes." Garrden snorted and nodded understanding perfectly why. "I didn't want to have another incident." She said annoyed with herself. "Cogdale mentioning it just proved my assumptions right." She whispered looking around the corner down the next hallway. "Luckily the servants aren't awake." Garrden said. "They really wouldn't be a problem. They didn't do anything when Silas and his men took the Chateau." She continued. "They really shouldn't be frightened by us at this time of night."

Leliana glided passed several doors to what she thought was the kitchen and waved Garrden in. The elf wasn't as swift as her and had heavy feet when he tried to mimic her movement. Leliana shook her head and opened the door.

She had been mistaken; it was the gallery that Helena was Helena's make shift bedroom. Her curiosity peaked and slipped into the room. "Leliana! This isn't the kitchen!" Garrden whispered loudly. Leliana shushed him as she spotted Cogdale lying on settle similar to the bookshelf one she was sitting on earlier. But a body lay next to his. When she realized it was Helena her emotions ran wild but Garrden held her down right when she was about to stand up.

"No no no! You don't understand Leliana" Garrden whispered to Leliana. Some of his words not reaching her ears clearly. "She doesn't like sleeping ALONE." Garrden said. "I should know, she does it with me or Ehmric." Garrden whispered directly right into her ear. Leliana stopped her bloody rage and turned to leave. "That was to easy." Garrden whispered. The other herbalists were sleeping on the other side of the gallery room sitting up. Leliana gritted her teeth and forced herself to calm her nerves. Garrden wouldn't be lying in a situation like that. Or lie about sleeping with Helena unless he wanted all the hair on his to be burned off.

After a few more deep breaths most of her anger had subsided. The kitchen must be close as the smell of fermenting wine and strong scent of other food. "You think they even have milk at the ready in a kitchen, inside a fortress like chateau, out in the middle of no where?" Garrden asked Leliana as they passed multiple doors. "Knowing Marjolaine?" Leliana paused to look back at the elf. "She spares no expense for herself." Leliana rolled her eyes just thinking about what unnecessary objects and other things she had in this locale.

Leliana was a bit confused that Marjolaine would have the only kitchen of the Chateau be so secluded from all the important social areas of the establishment. Servants must have to run with their servings so that they don't lose taste or warmth.

"Leliana" Garrden said tapping her back. She turned around to see one of Silas' friends looking directly at the sneaking duo down the hall they had been crawling down. "Oi… what are you two doing sneaking around?"

"Oh… well." Leliana got off of her knees and walked towards the man. " I was thirsty but I didn't want to wake anyone up so I was trying to make the least amount of noise." She said feeling the guard's eyes study her.

Leliana cleared her throat to get the man's small attention again if not for only a brief moment. "Right, what is it you need?" He asked trying his best to look her straight in the face. "I was wondering if you had get us a glass of wine?" Leliana asked. The man looked around, most likely for a servant but there weren't any. "Well alright, but please go back to your rooms. Silas would have my head if he knew I let you wander free at night."

Leliana nodded and snatched Garrden's hand and rushed her and him to the location of where they were all talking a few hours before. She collapsed on one of the settles and sighed rubbing her head.

"You alright Leliana?" Garrden asked sitting next to her. "You already asked that Flowerbed." Leliana groaned.

"Actually… no I haven't." Garrden unquestionably stated. Leliana sighed and pull all of her hair off of her shoulders. "It's everything Garrden." Leliana answered. She looked up at the ceiling but only darkness was visible. "Cogdale and I have been locking swords for past several months." She continued. "I'm confused why I can't tell Cogdale. I'm even more frustrated I can explain this to you with such ease." Garrden scooted closer and placed his hand on her back but it wasn't anything questionable.

"What have you guys been fighting over?" Garrden asked. Leliana returned her sight to the western wing to Silas' friend bringing a bottle of wine; randomly picked by the looks of it. Both of them sat up and dusted themselves off.

"Here is a bottle of wine, enjoy." The Guard said tossing it into Leliana's hands. The wine was vintage 7th age orlesian from Montsimmard. She slapped the bottle to her lips and took in the alcohol. "Wo slow down or it will spill out your nose there Leliana." Garrden bit his lip, grabbing the bottle and tearing it from her grasp.

"You haven't answered my question Leliana." Garrden said putting the bottle on a small table next to where he was sitting. Leliana savored the taste of the wine for a few brief moments before returning to reality. "Like I said everything, It all really began with that mage Helena." Leliana sighed. "She is such a sincere soul, I see her as a true friend but whenever something about her comes up." Leliana took in a deep breath and closing her eyes to see if the wine was making her tired yet. "He jumps on her side, even when he should be with me, seeing as we're together."

"But it's not just that though." Leliana said. "If you haven't noticed during our travels, Cogdale and I have been trying so hard to actually have a child." She said touching her abdomen. "A baby?" Garrden gasped. "I thought you guys were just releasing off steam from fighting the blight for so long." Garrden thought out loud.

Leliana giggled only to lose her smile as quick as it appeared. "Were it so simple." Garrden jumped off the settle and sat on the table in front of Leliana.

"This is a genuine thought." Garrden said clearing his throat. "But why are you trying to have a child when you both since I met you had been glorifying going out on adventures and helping others?" Garrden asked. "Having a child would leave you at home; whatever that would be." He continued, "While Cogdale would have to go out an find a stable career to help you both. If by some chance you did get pregnant, it would essentially end your life adventure together forever."

Garrden finished stating his case to her. Leliana hadn't really thought about it that way and bit her lip. "But I didn't want to leave you in a bad mood so how's this?" Garrden asked loudly getting on top of the delicate table and started spinning and singing. Leliana tried her best to shut the obviously drunk elf up. But found herself laughing at him instead.

Leliana's eyes finally were becoming heavy again as she softly laid herself on the settle and closed her eyes. Her thoughts were stirred quickly into mindless mush by the wine.