A/N: Oh, God, this was such a fail. On many levels. Work sucked up my life this break.
1. I wanted to have it out on Christmas. (Almost three weeks late).
2. Then I wanted to have it out on New Years (Almost two weeks late).
3. Then I wanted it to be Lily-Teddy centric (it's pretty much anything but. Sorry!!!)
4. Then I wanted to have lots and lots of kissing. (Again, I'm sorry!)
This was a success…in that I basically just want to write about this dragon-chasing Lily and flush-out Teddy's character in a novel-length fic. Really. But I have no time, even on break, and I go back to school in three days.
Anyway, thank you everyone for your responses on the first half, and I hope that this does not disappoint too too badly!!! Lots of family drama herein, I think I may have packed it too full. It is not all resolved in the end, but it doesn't need to be.
Disclaimer: Not mine, really. But I wish it was.
2: Fire
Harry and Ginny had invited the whole family for Christmas for the last ten years, but for some reason Ginny felt more anxious about this Christmas than she had for any of the past ones. Maybe it was that the house was an absolute mess, because she had been cooking nonstop for the last five days and Lily had just come home, bringing with her a trunk full of expensive clothes that she seemed to think looked best spread across the entire house. Maybe it was because an unbelievable amount of snow still covered the lawn and the house and the walkway, and she didn't think that her house could hold everyone if they couldn't overflow into the yard, even though George and Percy's families wouldn't be coming. Maybe it was because Harry had been watching Lily with a sad look on his face, as if he finally realized that their little girl was growing up.
But Ginny suspected that her unexpected, unusual anxiety attack had something to do with significant others. Al and James had informed her that they would be bringing their girlfriends home – girls who the boys had never mentioned before. Hugo had Flooed over to beg Ginny and Harry to let him bring his girlfriend, and apparently Dominique had found some bloke while travelling abroad in Germany. But it wasn't this sudden influx of unknowns that terrified Ginny.
Victoire and Rose had also asked that they be allowed to bring their boyfriends. Ginny had thought that Victoire still wanted Teddy, and was just trying to make him jealous, until she found that she had invited Lorcan Scamander, who had to be at least four years younger than she. And Rose, oh, Rose. Ginny hated herself for thinking it, but she was almost positive that Rose and Scorpius Malfoy had recently gotten together. But Rose hadn't said anything, and Lily hadn't stormed around in any unusual way, so Ginny couldn't be positive. Unfortunately, her feelings were usually right.
Of course, she had said yes to all these requests, and was now worrying how Lily and Teddy would react to seeing their exes happily ensconced in new relationships. She considered warning her daughter, but after all, she wasn't positive that Rose was dating Scorpius, and Lily came down Christmas morning positively overflowing with sunshine, even though it was barely seven.
"Happy Christmas Mum, Dad," Lily whirled into the kitchen and dropped a kiss on her father's head as she passed him on her way to the stove.
"Happy Christmas, Lil." Ginny replied, handing her daughter a plate of eggs and hoping that the girl had the sense to eat it all, while Harry stared up in surprise from the Prophet. He hadn't seen Lily this cheerful before noon in several years.
"What's got you all excited today?" Harry asked, moving his mug of coffee so she could sit down.
"It's Christmas. Who isn't excited on Christmas?" Lily beamed from behind her own coffee, and Ginny bit her lip, praying that this mood wouldn't smash after the others arrived.
Harry smiled at her, "It's good to have you home, Lily. We miss you when you're at school, and when you're with Charlie."
"And I've missed you." She gulped her coffee, trying not to think about being woken up by a bugle at four in the morning and about tossing live animals to hungrier, bigger animals before the sun broke the chilled horizon, about coffee laced with rum and candy canes dipped in liquid red hots and a long day spent tending to ferocious, lovable beasts.
She swallowed her sorrow along with her coffee, focusing on the recent memory of a pair of brown eyes and a wide smile, a smile that would be falling through their fireplace eventually. "Do you need help with anything?"
Ginny grinned, "I'd love some."
"And that's why you always liked me better than the boys." Lily stood and Vanished her mostly uneaten breakfast, then followed her mother to the stove.
Harry groaned, "Let's not get into that. Remember, the boys are coming home today."
"How could I forget?" Lily glanced at the flickering fireplace, willing it to turn green, although she knew that he wouldn't arrive before noon. She followed her mother's Christmas morning instructions, helping with the roast and the cleaning, clearing the path with a determined wave of her wand and striving to avoid thoughts of dragons and Teddy.
Lily stood at the stove, adding a stick of butter to the pot of mashed potatoes, when Al and his girlfriend tumbled through the fireplace. She turned and smiled at Beatrice, whom she had met once before, and her brother, who looked fairly hung-over.
"Happy Christmas!" Lily glanced out the window and saw that both her parents were in the yard. "There's hang-over potion in my bedside table upstairs, Al."
"You," Al covered a yawn with a soot-smeared hand, "Are my favorite sister ever."
Lily laughed as Al headed upstairs and Bea glanced nervously around at the messy kitchen. "Your parents won't hate me, will they?"
"Oh, Bea, my parents are pretty much incapable of hating anyone." Lily tried to make her voice reassuring, "Believe me, they'll love you. They'd love anyone who can make Al smile the way you do."
"How many girls have you had to say that to, over the years?"
Bea released a nervous, self-deprecating laugh, and Lily shrugged, "So far, just you. But I'm sure I'll be repeating for James's girlfriend – Aida, isn't it? And I haven't even met her yet. But I actually mean it for you."
Al bounded down the stairs then, looking refreshed. "Thank Merlin for you and your potions, Lils."
"Yes, yes, it's all I'm good for. Go introduce Bea to Mum and Dad, now Al, and leave me alone."
Al chuckled, "Will do. Come on, darling, can't you tell we're bothering Lilykins?" As they passed through the front door, sending a wave of chilling air across Lily's green sweater-ed back, she heard Bea murmur, "Are you certain she's in Slytherin, Al? She seems much too nice."
Al laughed and called over his shoulder, "You hear that, Lil, you're not living up to your snakey expectations."
Lily scowled at the mashed potatoes, but kept her voice even as she replied "You can't trust my niceness, remember? Slytherins are inherently evil, each and every one of us."
"Oh, Lily, you kidder," Al took Bea's hand and led her outside, to meet the vanquisher of Voldemort and the brilliant flier of the Holyhead Harpies and Lily forced the scowl from her lips.
James arrived minutes later, clutching a bottle of champagne in one hand and the hand of a too skinny blonde in the other. The girl smiled shyly at Lily, who took the proffered bottle and smiled back.
"Aida, Lily. Lily, Aida." James shook soot from his dragon skin jacket and tossed it over the back of one of the kitchen chairs as Lily shook Aida's hand and took her soft velvet pea coat.
"I think I remember you from Hogwarts," Aida narrowed gray eyes at Lily, "You're in Slytherin, right?"
Why was everyone so obsessed with that today? "Yeah. You were Ravenclaw?"
She grinned, "Mmm, but Jamsie keeps telling me I should have been in Gryffindor."
Lily bit back an involuntary gag at the pet name. "Good thing it's James saying it – from anyone else it would be an insult."
"Hey!" James glared at his sister, "If you're going to be all hissy and elitist, we'll just leave and tell Mum that it's your fault."
Lily rolled her eyes, "Yeah, I'm sure you'll pass up free food just to avoid me. Mum and Dad are out in the garden with Al and Bea, if you want to introduce Aida to them."
"Sure." He took Aida's hand again, but he turned just as he was about to lead her from the room. "Are you all right, Lil? I was just kidding, you know."
"I know. I'm fine."
James shook his head, "You really don't seem – " The fire burst into green again, and this time Lily smiled genuinely at the man who fell out of it.
"Ted!" James got to his side first, grabbing his almost-brother into a one armed hug. "Happy Christmas, mate."
"You too." Teddy brushed messy brown hair from his eyes and shook a shower of green tinted soot to the ground. "Hey Lil."
"Hey Teddy." Lily stood on tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek, as she had done since she was two, and waved a hand at Aida. "This is James's girlfriend Aida. Aida, this is our dad's godson, Teddy."
"Nice to meet you." Aida held out a hand and shook Teddy's, eyeing him in a way that Lily did not like, both for her sake and James's.
Al and Bea broke through the door then, both laughing brightly. Al caught sight of Teddy and let out a woop. "And now the party can really start. Ted, this is my girlfriend Bea. Bea, this is Teddy."
Teddy laughed, "Ginny must be going crazy with all the couples here this year."
"Oh, you don't even know." Lily tossed some pepper into one of the pots simmering on the stove. Everyone always asked her why the hell she didn't just cast spells to cook for her, but she thought that cooking – like potions – worked best if you actually spent the time and the effort to do it properly. And no one ever denied that she was the best cook in the family, and her food definitely rivaled the Hogwarts' house elves'.
"What do you mean?" Teddy asked, running a hand through his hair.
"Apparently," Al's voice dropped lower, laughter rustling beneath its surface, "You and Lily are the only two coming alone."
"Well," Lily tossed a balled up dish towel at her brother, "That's not entirely true. But it is almost true. We're the only lonely ones in the family, Ted."
"I wouldn't say I'm exactly lonely." Teddy replied, "So Ginny is stressed?"
"Mmmhmm," James reached around Lily and snatched a fresh sticky bun from the plate on the counter, "Especially because Victoire is coming with Lorcan Scamander."
"She is?" Both Lily's and Teddy's voices were laced with surprise.
"Yeah, and she's worried that Teddy'll be hurt. But you won't, right Ted?"
"I was the one who broke up with Victoire. What about you, Lily? Gonna regret not giving Lorcan a chance?"
"What?" Albus whipped around from feeding Bea a bite of the sticky bun that he had snatched from James, "You and Lorcan? When'd that happen? And why does Teddy know about it?"
Lily glared at Teddy, who shrugged in response, not looking nearly apologetic enough. "Me and Lorcan were never anything, Teddy's just causing trouble."
Teddy laughed, "Sure, sure, now you say that. Now that you know you can't have him."
"Oh, please. If I'd wanted Lorcan, Victoire would never have had a chance."
"Ohhh, Lily's some type of sex-fiend now?" James laughed, "Somehow, I can't imagine that."
"I'm a Slytherin, Jamesy. We're irresistible." She tossed her hair over her shoulder as the fire flamed green once more and Bill's family fell through, Louis and his girlfriend followed closely by Dom and a skinny bloke, all ahead of Victoire, who gripped Lorcan's hand the minute they stepped into the kitchen.
"Hello, everyone," Bill grinned broadly around the room and Fleur sniffed her hellos, as the cousins exchanged awkward hugs and generic "Happy Christmas"es.
The family drifted toward the living room, all save Lorcan, Victoire, Teddy and Lily. Al shot Lily a look when he left, instructing her to get the hell out before awkwardness saturated the situation, but she ignored him, concentrating on her cooking.
"Hey, Teddy." Victoire began, but Teddy broke in by pulling her into a light hug.
"Happy Christmas, Vic," he released her and extended a hand to Lorcan. "It's good to see you again."
"You too, Lupin." The men shook hands and Lorcan tapped Lily on the shoulder, "Hey, Fire Breath, no hug for me?"
Lily spun around and gave him a one armed hug, "How've you been, Lor? I haven't seen you in a while."
Lorcan ran a hand tattooed with a moving green serpent through his messy blonde hair, "Yeah, well, I'm not supposed to return to Hogwarts for a few years, you know. But I've been well, thank you."
"And you, Vic?" Lily turned to see Victoire watching her with narrowed eyes.
"You've been away from home every Christmas for the last six years, Lily. Why are you here?"
"Don't you want me here?" Lily pulled a fake pout.
"I want to know why you're not with Charlie, cleaning up dragon dung."
Teddy and Lorcan stilled, looking between Victoire and Lily suspiciously. Laughter from the living room drifted through the heated, tense air of the kitchen, and Lily tried to remember the last time she had seen Victoire. Oh.
"Look, Vic…I wasn't thinking."
"No? It seemed like you were thinking quite a lot, actually."
"What are you two going on about?" Teddy glanced at a grimacing Lorcan, whose face became more disgruntled under the man's scrutiny.
"Lily told me something rather interesting the last time I saw her. Or maybe more upsetting than interesting." Victoire grinned, snake-like, and Lily wondered once again why she hadn't been sorted into Slytherin.
"It's not a big deal, Victoire. That was over two years ago."
"But I'm guessing you haven't really changed all that much. After all, you're Lily Luna Potter – you get everything you want through bribery and blackmail."
"That's enough, Victoire," Teddy took a few steps forward, so he stood slightly in front of Lily, "It's Christmas, let it be."
"It's because it's Christmas, Teddy. Lily told me, when I caught her at the Hog's Head during one of her drunken escapades a few years back, that she hated these 'bloody awful family things' and that she'd rather clean up dragon shit than spend time with us." Lorcan shifted uneasily, and Teddy glanced at Lily, who shut her eyes against his surely accusing gaze. "Honestly, is that really the opinion of someone you trust? Or want around on Christmas?"
"Merlin, Victoire, I was young and stupid, in love with dragons and sick of being the youngest. I was drunk and sloppy and I know that I should never have told you that but I did, and I thought that you knew that I didn't really mean it." She shoved her hand through her hair, "Or that I don't mean it anymore, anyway."
"You do realize how fucking lucky we all are, right? That we have a family who cares about us and will support us no matter what?" Lily examined her fingernails rather than meet Victoire's bitter gaze. The girl's best friend from Hogwarts had been abandoned by her pureblood parents early on for being sorted into Ravenclaw, and Lily knew that Victoire's friendship with Enna had forever improved her opinion of their own family.
"I know." Lily's voice was heavy with anger, suppressed passion and a hint of exhaustion.
"Look, Lily, I don't want anyone hurt because of you."
She shut her eyes and stepped away from Victoire, her hand drifting toward the length of willow in her pocket without thinking. Just as she was about to grip its smooth handle, the fire roared to life once more.
At first Teddy thought that Lily had performed an unintentional bit of wandless magic in her anger with Victoire, but the jets of flame glowed green and two figures fell from the fireplace.
Lily's eyes flew open and Victoire whirled around as Charlie tugged his dragonskin gloves from burn-scarred fingersr and the man beside him straightened a ratty Muggle tee-shirt emblazoned with "The Doors". This man ran a hand self-consciously through black hair, blinked tired blue eyes and bit his pale lip as he met Lily's irate gaze.
"Happy Christmas!" Charlie said to the room at large, moving to embrace Victoire. Teddy glanced at Lily with a question in his eyes, but she still examined Charlie's accompaniment critically.
Her voice, when it came, retained a cooler anger than she had directed at Vic. But this anger, Teddy knew, was infinitely more dangerous than her typical fire. "What are you doing here?"
"Lily," Charlie turned from Victoire, "Red's parents are spending the holidays in Morocco, his sister and brother are both with their in-laws, and I felt bad leaving him with just the dragons for company, so I invited him here."
"His parents?"Lily turned her glare from Red to Charlie.
"Yes, Lily," Charlie's calm voice revealed very little panic, but Lily could tell, from the way his eyes were flicking from her to Teddy and then to Victoire and Lorcan, that he was nervous. Probably scared shitless, actually. She could so easily blow open his secret. So easily complicate his life, like he had hers.
But secrets, Lily had learned long ago, are most useful when they're kept hidden.
"Oh, you're speaking to them again? Well, that's good. Go on, everyone's in the living room." Charlie and Red both nodded their thanks to her, and Lorcan and Teddy trailed them into the other room. Lily attempted to ignore Victoire's still angry gaze on her back as she turned back to the stove, but she couldn't help but ask, "Vic, can you just forgive me for being an idiot fifteen-year-old the last time you saw me?"
"You still prefer the dragons." It wasn't a question, but Victoire's voice no longer resonated with years of unaired anger.
"I always will." Lily rubbed her face with cold hands, "But I love the family, and I'm happy to be here." A little fake-honesty never hurt anyone.
Victoire sighed, "Honestly, Lily, it wasn't so much the whole family thing that pissed me off."
Lily turned around in surprise. She had never known Victoire to even half-lie before. "What were you talking about, then?"
Victoire glanced over her shoulder at the entrance to the living room, then grabbed her cousin's cold hand, "Come outside for a moment."
Once they stood surrounded by piles of snow Victoire spoke again. "I know you probably don't remember much of what you said that time in the Hog's Head."
"Try nothing," Lily muttered.
"All right, it was a while ago, and you were drunk. I know that I shouldn't blame you. But I do."
"For what?" Lily blinked against the sunlight and tried to meet Victoire's gaze, but the girl was staring past her, into the living room window.
"Teddy. I loved him, you know. I still do. I mean, I do love Lorcan, too, more than I thought I could ever love anyone, after Teddy. But I would never have let Teddy ditch me if you hadn't told me…told me what you did, that day."
Lily felt unfamiliar guilt building up in her stomach, and she clenched her arm across it in an effort to quell the feeling. "Oh, Merlin, what did I say?"
"You told the truth." Victoire laughed in self-deprecation, "And I hate you for it. You told me that I was fooling myself, that he didn't love me. That he wanted to, maybe, but that he didn't. That if I just stopped lying to myself, if I opened my fucking eyes, I'd see that he didn't really want me. And I tried to ignore what you said, but you forced my eyes open. And I did see."
"Oh." Lily closed her eyes, "I'm sorry."
"But what I want to know, is how could you tell?'
Lily hesitated. "The Sorting Hat told me that it would have put me in Gryffindor, like I begged it to, if it hadn't been for one thing."
"So?"
"I know things from watching people. I can tell when someone's in love, so I can tell when someone's out of love. I can tell when someone's lying as easily as most people can tell someone's blonde or brown-haired. So I saw you and I saw Teddy and I saw the way you interacted and I knew. I'm sorry that I told you that, though. I don't usually share what I know." Unless I get something out of it, Lily reflected. Which she had, she supposed, after a few years.
"I still don't forgive you. I know I should probably thank you, I should probably be over it. But, Merlin, Lily, you've never been in love, you can't know, but it's hell. All of it, the love itself, the sex, the breakup."
Lily sighed. "I don't know what to say, Victoire."
Victoire didn't respond. She walked past Lily to the house, and Lily heard her call a happy greeting to Ron and Hermione when she entered. Lily didn't follow her inside. Instead, she walked slowly around to the back of the house, her stockinged feet sinking stupidly into the frigid snow, her fingers freezing purple in the cool sunlight.
She shoved open the creaky door to the shed and reached for the smooth wood of her Blastbolt, the broom that her father had gotten her for her seventeenth birthday. She glanced at the even straws of the tail and missed her old broom, a Firebolt Classic with a dragon-fire singed tail and a near char-black handle after a few run-ins with a mama dragon gone wild.
"Lily?"
She had expected Teddy, or maybe Charlie, but not Red.
"What do you want?"
"Charlie sent me out here to see if you're all right." Lie.
"You came out here to make sure I won't tell everyone who you are." Truth.
"And to make sure you're all right."
"I don't want to fuck up my family." Lily dropped the broom against the wall and directed a heating Charm at her soaked and chilled feet. It almost worked.
"So you won't tell them."
"Not until I'm sure they can handle it." Red's eyes widened in fear, and Lily laughed. "But don't worry, they won't ever be able to. My grandma Molly believes that her purpose in life is to pull the family together. And you and Charlie prove that she's failed. I wouldn't do that to her."
"So you do care about something other than dragons," Red spoke softly, softly enough that he clearly hadn't intended for Lily to hear.
"Obviously," she hissed, her hands balling into fists.
"Lily." Red hesitated. "About your letter…I sent Athena back, has she arrived yet?"
"No."
"Well, when she does…" He dropped off at the look on Lily's face. "Fine, I'll tell you now. The answer is still no, Lily. You need a real life, one where you're not running from your family and your friends like Da-Charlie and I did. Didn't one of your professors offer to get you an internship with Healers somewhere?"
"Yes, but I don't want that, Red. This isn't about running like it was for Charlie. This is about dragons, get it?"
The crunching of snow announced Teddy's arrival moments before his head peeked into the shed. "Hey, guys, Ginny's put dinner on the table."
"Thanks, Teddy." Red sighed in relief and left the shed. Teddy stepped inside.
"Are you okay?"
Lily glanced up at him and shook her head, "Merlin, no."
"What's wrong?"
"Red's here. And he still won't listen to reason and let me come back to Romania. And Vic was crazy back there, and her craziness wasn't out of place. And you're here, but we can't ever let anyone know, so I can't even really be with you and – "
Teddy stopped her rant by pressing one finger against her lips. "Listen to me, Lily. Charlie and Red are not your only opportunity to work with dragons. There are other ranches, other places you can go."
Lily bit lightly on the tip of his finger before pulling away. "You're right. I know you're right. But Romania is my home, you know? And I just want to go back there."
"I know." Teddy reached out and tugged gently on her hair, "And you'll get back there, someday. But don't worry about it now. Enjoy Christmas with the family, and try not to let your cousins upset you too much." He hesitated, "What was that thing with Victoire about?"
"What do you think?" Teddy shrugged.
"How you kind of deserted your family at Christmas?"
"Not so much."
He groaned, "Not me?"
"Always, apparently." Lily almost stopped her lips from twisting, "I didn't know she still had feelings for you."
Teddy closed his eyes for a moment and shifted uncomfortably, "I didn't either, until a few months ago. She Flooed me, drunk, one evening. This must have been just before she got with Lorcan, but she said she still loved me, and begged me to take her back. I didn't, clearly. And she moved on."
"Physically."
"Hopefully in other ways, too. But why'd she drag you into that?"
Lily grimaced. "The last time we met – that time in Hogsmeade – I apparently told her that you didn't love her."
"You what? Lily!"
"I know, I know. I'm sorry! I was drunk. Which is definitely no excuse, but I was."
"Lily!" Teddy groaned. "How did you even know that? I barely even knew."
"I know. But I knew you, Ted. I could tell." Lily's mouth would not stop moving, "And I also knew that I wanted you then. My drunk self is kind of a bitch."
Instead of walking out on her, as he could have done, Teddy burst out laughing and pulled Lily into a hug. "Oh, Merlin, you made it impossible for us to tell everyone about us."
"At least until Victoire and Lorcan get married."
"At least." He kissed the top of her head before pushing her away lightly. "But we should probably get in. Everyone'll be wondering where we are."
"Yeah, we should." Lily reached for Teddy's rough, stubbly chin and pulled his willing lips down to hers. They met in a brief kiss before the sound of the door to the house slamming pushed them to opposite sides of the shed.
"Shit." Teddy rubbed the back of his head, where he had banged it against one of the low rafters and Lily bit back laughter.
"Hey, Lily? Oh, you're here, thank Merlin." Curly haired Rose stepped into the shed, shaking snow from her boots and leading a very tentative looking Scorpius Malfoy by one leather gloved hand. "Hey Ted, would you mind?" Rose punctuated her question with a nod toward the door, "Ginny still needs a little help getting everyone settled at the table."
Lily nodded slightly at a hesitating Teddy. She'd be fine – she had, at least, been expecting this conversation.
But she didn't want to make them feel too comfortable, so she returned to her broom and picked it up, examining the smooth handle and wondering if its claim to be dragonfire proof was actually valid, half listening to Rose's babbling in the background.
"Look, Lily, I know that we should have told you sooner, but Scorpius and I, we're kind of dating, and by that I mean that we're really dating and we think it's serious and we'd really appreciate it if you'd understand. And we're really sorry if we hurt you at all and we hope you're okay with this even though we know that – "
"Merlin, it's fine, Rose. Stop worrying. Honestly." Lily put her broom down after deciding that one good flame from her favorite Vipertooth would light it up like a firecracker and turned to face her still-nervous looking cousin.
"We're – what?"
"It. Is. Fine. You and Scorpius can do whatever you want. I've always known that you two would end up together. It was obvious, even when I was with Scor. I'm just sorry that it took me so long to realize that I didn't want to change that."
"So, wait?" Scorpius stepped forward, brushing invisible dust from his fitted green shirt, "You're over me?"
"Well over. Sorry if that offends you."
"We were stressed about nothing? You're serious?"
"I'm serious. Come on, let's go eat."
"What the hell, Lily! I thought you were never going to speak to me again." Rose prattled on as they walked to the house, but Scorpius remained silent until they reached the door.
"Wait, Lily, can I talk to you for a minute."
"Merlin, I just want to eat." But she nodded, anyway, and let Scorpius lead her away from the house. Rose, surprisingly, didn't even try to follow.
Scorpius rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously, "You know I'm rubbish at this sort of thing, but I just wanted to let you know, I'm so sorry for the way I acted. For the reason I gave for breaking it off with you, and for how we ended it."
"Oh, honestly, Scor. It's fine, you don't need to feel bad."
"But I do. I mean, you were such a good friend…especially when everyone else in Slytherin turned their back on me, and I just dropped you, so easily."
"Scorpius, stop. I didn't want you either, by that time. I knew you were testing me, just like I was testing you, when you wanted to sleep with me. We used each other until we couldn't do it any longer, and I think that we're both better for it. I'm glad we ended, and I don't really care how, or why, we did."
"You really hated me, didn't you?"
"No." Lily laughed, "No, for a long time, I thought I loved you."
Scorpius blinked slowly, the most surprised look she had gotten out of him since she told him that she would not, under any circumstances, ever, fuck him. "You what?"
"I thought I loved you. But I was wrong. And you and Rose are good together, so stop looking like I just killed your dog, or something. Honestly, Malfoy, for a Slytherin you're blatantly transparent."
"You're the one who's spilling all sorts of secrets today."
"What do you mean?" Lily bit her lip. She had noticed that her mental filters did not appear to be working quite as well as usual, but she hadn't expected anyone else to notice.
"Oh, let me see. In the last ten minutes – the only ten minutes that I've spent with you all day – you've told me that: you knew that I loved Rose when I was with you; you knew that Rose loved me; you wanted to try and make me forget about Rose; you used me; and you thought you were in love with me. That's the entire underside of our relationship aired to the world. Are you feeling all right?"
He was right. Every conversation that day had involved the spilling, rather than the gathering, of secrets. "Bloody, bloody, Teddy."
"What's that about Teddy?" Scorpius's eyes narrowed, "You two aren't involved, are you?"
Lily was a practiced liar. She had lied to Scorpius, and he had believed her, more times than she could count. But she responded too quickly, this time. "No! Of course not. That's gross, he's like my brother."
"Lily!" Scorpius's voice caught as it worked its way up his throat, "Merlin, you're not really, are you? Because that's just…I mean, it's not like he's really your brother. But he's old. And your family…! What the hell were you thinking?"
Laughter built up and burst through Lily's mouth, her only response to Scor's infringement on her secrets, "Oh, Merlin, Scorpius, you fell for that so easily!" She wheezed through the laughs, enough of a disguise so her lies wouldn't seem as fake.
"Oh, thank God. I thought I was going to have to pose an intervention or something ridiculous like that."
"No, no. You're so gullible. Come on, let's go eat." She sighed a barely visible breath of relief and finally, finally led Scorpius into the warmth of her house.
All throughout dinner everyone in the family continuously eyed Lily and Teddy as if they were liable to break, or explode, or self-destruct in some humanly impossible way. This constant surveillance made it very difficult for them to touch, even though they sat beside each other (which made it especially easy for everyone else to watch them.)
When James's concerned eyes met Lily's for the fifth time, she did explode. Coolly. Calmly. With a Sonorus charm to her throat and a glare for each and every (too many!) member of her family. "I am fine. I'm good, actually. No problems, here. I am over Scorpius, no matter what all of you seem to believe. And I am very happy that he and Rose have finally gotten over themselves and gotten together. And while I can't speak for Teddy – "
Teddy interrupted, softly, "Actually, you can."
"He's over Victoire, as well, and he is happy that she and Lorcan are dating. And are here. So would all of you stop acting like we're both about to shatter?"
"Lily…" Harry began, and Ginny picked up, "We're just concerned."
"Do we really have to do this here?" James muttered, taking Aida's hand under the table.
"Yes," Lily said, her voice returned to normal, "Let's just get this over with. I know that you've all been dying to ask me questions since I got back from Hogwarts."
"Fine," Al jumped in, "Why'd you come home?"
Lily wanted to lie, she did. Her reaction to questions was to lie. But she felt as if she had been dosed with Veritaserum, as if something laced her veins that made it impossible to lie. "Charlie and Red wouldn't let me go back to Romania."
The entire table turned their eyes to the two men, who shifted uncomfortably. "Lily, we've been through this. I didn't want you deserting your family the way I did." Charlie's voice was almost steady.
"Why do you like it there so much?" Harry asked, ignoring Charlie.
"I'm warm there." No one responded. No one could. They couldn't know what that meant. "I mean, it's fun. It's amazing – with the dragons, there's nothing like it in the world. That is all I want to do, and if Red and Charlie don't want me to move to Romania, I'll go to Egypt, or somewhere. Anywhere, as long as there're some Welsh Greens and Chinese Fireballs."
"Lily…" Ginny trailed off, again. "We all knew that you weren't going to stay around forever. But is it really so horrible here?"
"No, no. I love being home. I do. But I want to get on with my life, grow up, become someone. And I can only do that by moving away. And the only way I want to do that is by chasing dragons."
"And what about you and Teddy?" Scorpius's voice cut through the silence at the table like ice through steam, freezing everyone in their places as they slowly turned to look at Lily and Teddy.
"What about us?" Teddy asked, his voice almost steady. "Lily will still be like my little sister."
"And do you make it a habit to sleep with your sisters?" Scorpius asked.
"No. And I do not 'make it a habit' to sleep with Lily, either." Teddy's voice matched Scorpius's for coolness. "What are you thinking, Malfoy?"
"It makes sense, though." Victoire spoke up, her eyes filling with angry tears, "That's why you cared so much – that's why you knew, or thought you knew, Teddy didn't love me!"
"No, that's not it at all, Vic." Lily tried to step toward her cousin, but Victoire was already in the fire, turning away to some muttered location.
The rest of the room was silent, Rose glaring at Scorpius, who smirked self-righteously, and the others glaring at Lily and Teddy.
"Lily? Teddy? Will you come with me," Harry's voice was cool and offered no room for negotiation. They followed her father into the living room, knowing that the rest of the family could hear them easily enough, if they tried. And they would.
"There's an eleven year age difference between the two of you." Harry looked from his daughter to his godson. "And if this is true, then that will not be the issue. The issue will be that you did not come to me first, that you did not tell us first. That we had to find out from Rose's boyfriend."
"Harry," Teddy began, but Harry shook his head.
"No, Teddy. I want to hear from Lily, first. What happened?"
"What do you mean, what happened? I fell in love with Teddy the minute I saw him. Or I assume I did." Lily reached for Teddy's hand with her clammy one, and found comfort in him. "I know that when Scorpius and I broke up it was because I realized that whatever I had felt for him was nothing compared to what I felt for Teddy. I know that when I'm away from home, whenever I see something incredible, something amazing, like this one time when I managed to convince one of the dragons to let me ride him, and we flew up and up and up and I thought that I had never been so happy, ever, that the only person I wanted to tell was Teddy. Right then, at that moment, that was all I could think about. I also know that I didn't want to hurt anyone, and you know that I don't often admit that I have emotions, but this time, I mean it. We've only been together for a week, Dad, and we would have told you, I swear we would have."
Teddy squeezed her hand as he began to speak, "Harry, you know me. You practically raised me, which might make this more difficult for you, or it could make it easier. I don't know. But I've loved Lily since the first time she smiled at me. Of course, that changed over the years, and I won't pretend that I didn't think the age difference was strange. But I do love her, and I do know that I will do everything I possibly can to keep her from being hurt."
Harry nodded slowly. "This is not over. But seeing as it's Christmas we'll leave it, for now."
They returned to the still-silent family, and Lily kept Teddy's hand firmly in hers. Lorcan had left while they were talking with Harry, but everyone else was still there, and Lily could feel all of them watching her and Teddy suspiciously, but soon an almost-normal conversation began.
Charlie and Red cornered Lily and Teddy by the tree toward the end of the evening. "Lily, thank you," Red gave his cousin a one-armed hug. "And listen, we'd really appreciate it if you'd consider filling out a full application for the position open at the facility at the end of the year. We can't guarantee you the job but…" Red glanced around the room, "I have a feeling you're going to need to get out of here."
"Really?" Lily glanced from her uncle to her cousin, "What changed?"
"You love them, just like we do. And we know that you've been telling us that for years, but we've never really listened."
"Also," Red grinned, "None of us have ever gotten to ride a dragon. We'll need you for some new experiments."
Teddy's grip tightened around Lily's waist. "No worries, Ted." She grinned up at him, "I'll be perfectly safe."
"Always?" he asked.
"Always," she promised. And softer, "with you."
A/N: Please don't hate me.
And please review, if you liked, if you hated, if you think I've lost my mind.