Will Schuester is horribly sick of Quinn Fabray and Rachel Berry and all the fighting that they've been doing as of late. He finally gave into the club's desire to do a song from RENT, but they've become divided over which song to use. Quinn leads the cheerleaders and the football players in the choice of "Seasons of Love," but Rachel, backed by the true glee clubbers (or misfits, depending on the perspective) insists that "Seasons of Love" is overrated and overplayed and that "I'll Cover You" would be a much better choice. Puck, Matt, and Mike all abstained from voting at first because they really, really didn't give a shit, but then they learned that "I'll Cover You" was a love song between a transvestite and a gay guy and decided that it was way too weird to be singing about that. Finn hasn't chosen yet and had instead focused his energy on relentlessly researching both songs as well as the overall musical in order to "make an informed decision", though everyone knows he just doesn't want to piss off either Rachel or Quinn with his song choice. He's the deciding vote and every day at practice, they hope when he says, "Hey guys, guess what!" it will be about his pick, but it's generally followed up by some obscure bit of trivia about the show. Will figures that this will all end soon because there's only so much obscure trivia Finn can possibly locate.

But today Finn comes in and they're all on the edge of their seats waiting for his choice or at least his random RENT fact of the day and he doesn't do either of those things. He simply sits in one of the desks in the corner, away from the congregation at the piano. Quinn and Rachel's glances both drift over to him as his words mean more to them than to the rest of the group. He gives no indication that he notices either one of them and broods with a mastery of the craft that has not been achieved since the days of Angel on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."

Will walks in and upon seeing Finn ostracized while Quinn and Rachel shoot daggers at each other, he knows that there has been no decision reached today. Tiredly, he forces them into another rehearsal of "Don't Stop Believing." As usual, Rachel and Quinn purposefully get in each other's ways and mess up the dance steps. They all complain about having to rehearse this song again and then Quinn and Rachel come to near physical blows over whose fault it is that they have to keep drilling this over and over. During their bitch fest, Will sneaks a hard glance at Finn, trying to catch his eye, but the quarterback has them both firmly planted on the ground, looking dejected. That's progress in Will's book. He hopes that he's crushing Finn's spirit enough so that he'll eventually man up and pick a damn song.

It's two days later, and he hasn't.

Frustrated, Will pays a visit to Emma's office in the wee hours before school starts in hopes of getting advice from the sometimes effective guidance counselor. He enters to find her meticulously wiping down a pencil with a handkerchief, Enya (or, at least, it sounds like Enya) playing soothingly in the background. Judging by the various assortment of office supplies laid across her desk, Emma's been cleaning these things for quite a while now.

Not wanting to boldly interrupt what seems like a ritual, Will settles on a nondescript cough, but he learns quickly that that's a bad idea because Emma immediately snatches a can of Lysol from the corner of her desk and sprays it voraciously around the tiny room. The smell of the noxious chemical is enough to make Will want to cough again, but he restrains himself for fear of the consequences.

Emma sees that it's Will, a realization that causes her to knock over her perfectly positioned name plate as she returns the Lysol to its place. Picking up the plate, she looks at Will closely, noticing that he has a hand covering his mouth as though to guard against the fumes. "Sorry, I'm sorry- it's an instinct reaction."

He laughs at the statement, and she relaxes. "It's OK," Will wheezes, pulling out a chair and plopping down in the very clean comfort of its plush. "How are you not dying from this stuff, anyway? You've sprayed enough of it in near to de-germ the entire school."

"I suppose I've built up a resistance. What do you need help with?" Emma returns to dusting off her pencils and Will encounters a challenge in keeping his eyes off her spindly hands moving up and down.

"I can't stop by just to say hi?" He puts on his most charming smile and cocks his head just so, a move that always works on Terri.

But Emma is not his wife and she's not fooled, but she does appear to be slightly amused. She doesn't respond, so Will turns off the charm and lets out a sigh. "Fine. You win. The thing is, the kids have been begging me to do a song from RENT for such a long time, which I have no problem with. But they can't agree and it's turned into a huge Rachel vs. Quinn knockdown, drag-out fight with Finn caught in the middle. They both want different songs, and Finn's the only one who hasn't voted. I don't think he will, honestly, because he doesn't want to hurt either girl's feelings."

Emma processes this information and places a polished ballpoint pen in line with her other writing implements. Then she looks up and stares Will straight in the eye, unconsciously leaning forward across her desk. "I think that you should punish all three of them- none of them are handling this in a very mature manner. You pick the song, and pick one that Quinn and Rachel will both hate. Also make sure that it doesn't give Finn a very big part so he knows that he can't just stay neutral."

"That's actually really good advice, Emma. Thanks." Will's vaguely surprised by the subtle brilliance of this idea; he never actually thinks of Emma as a guidance counselor, but more like someone whose had so many problems that she must be able to offer the kids some help.

He gets up and goes before Emma has a chance to really notice. Will's pretty much out the door by the time she manages an awkwardly stiff wave and muttered, "Goodbye," and he has no idea she's said anything. Thanks to Emma, he now has the perfect song to punish the kids with.

"Take Me or Leave Me." The black words glare up at Rachel on her newest piece of sheet music. Scanning quickly through it, she recognizes her part to be Joanne's which is all fine and good, but who will be Maureen? No one else has said anything yet as they scan over their packets, absorbing the song. Rachel supposes that most of them don't even know what this song is in the context of the show. Personally, it's always been one of Rachel's favorites, as she's always been able to relate to Joanne.

Puck is staring at his sheet music, totally confused. "This isn't one of the songs we voted on, Mr. Schu."

Will looks up from the piano where he's busy making last minute annotations to the pianist's copy. "I know. You guys couldn't decide on a song, so I picked one for you."

Grunting, Puck rushes through his pages as quickly as possible and then makes the blanket statement, "This is about as boring as watching Hummel here do his nails." He jerks his head in Kurt's direction, but Kurt doesn't care because he's already figured out what's going on.

"Not for Maureen and Joanne it's not," Will points out, just waiting for the fireworks to explode.

He doesn't have to wait too long.

"Maureen and Joanne?" Quinn screeches, her voice raising to a shrill decibel on the last word. "As in, I have to sing this with another girl!" Frenetically, Quinn waves her music around with much jarring arm motion and Puck decides that he likes this song a little better now.

Will nods his head. "Yep. You and Rachel are fighting so often that it's wasting energy in our rehearsals, and I figured that this would be a constructive outlet for that anger. It's not a love song, Quinn; it's a break-up song."

Rachel groans, too, tempted to slam her music onto the piano and storm out of the room. But she knows better and she'll be mature about it- until they have to sing the actual song, that is. She's looking forward to this, to be honest. It has never been so easy to smack down Quinn Fabray than it is right now. Rachel will be able to sing her heart out at the object of her severe hatred; yes, it will be a fun song indeed.

Quinn is in a severe state of shock and everyone else is just highly amused by the situation, other than Finn who looks positively terrified, and the piano player, who never shows any emotion anyway.

So Will starts up the practice and tries to ignore the nagging part of his brain that suggests he's about to create a monster.

Rachel stands behind the backs of Matt and Mike, their hulking forms blocking her path just as the dance states. Mr. Schu gives a quick count-off and it's time to go. Just like the glee club's leader told her to, Rachel snatches Matt and Mike's shirts and pushes past them in the most vicious manner, moving onto knocking shoulders and pulling sweaters and just being generally physically abusive to the other boys. Her procession culminates in a push of Artie in his chair to the other side, where Tina catches him and Quinn emerges from behind the wall of girls just like Rachel does with the boys. The sounds of the song's instrumental beginning, now sung by their choir-mates, fill their ears as they fill each other's eyes, the only things in their fields of vision.

The fourth measure rolls around and Quinn takes a deep breath in her lungs, preparing to sing. As soon as her first note rings out with a passion, she and Rachel being to circle each other on the risers, slowly counted steps leading them in their dance. Quinn reaches the line everybody stares at me, the cue for the boys and the girls to inch closer to her in adoration before she gives them both the hand and walks back towards Rachel with a couple of swings of her hips. She places her hand on Rachel's shoulder, adding just a little bit of devilish flirtation. Quinn's not sure where it comes from, but she does know that Rachel takes the tiniest hint of a breath when she slides her hand down her arm and then removes it to perform the next move.

She belts out so be kind, and don't waste my time while backing away from Rachel who follows her angrily as if drawn in by a magical spell. Rachel makes a quick grasp for Quinn's hand, but the blonde removes it too fast and jumps down the risers as per Mr. Schu's choreography. Quinn launches into a spirited chorus, spurred on by Rachel pursuing her through the throngs of boys and girls like a hound on a foxhunt. They've never done it singing at full speed with choreography, and Quinn never thought she could get this exhilarated from watching Rachel Berry speed after her with the face of a lover scorned. In some weird, whacked-out part of her body, it's making Quinn hot.

That realization comes to her and she stumbles on the song for a moment but then regains her balance and tries to chalk it up to the mythical "showmance" or to remember that this is a break-up song and not a love song or to get it through her head that both she and Rachel are acting in these roles and nothing more. Accomplishing this is hampered by the fact that the dance steps indicate that Rachel has to grab her hand at this point, putting them front and center on the risers. Animosity shines in Rachel's eyes, and Quinn's almost scared by how well she's acting this part. She sings the second verse, adding in the twirls and spins Mr. Schu told her to improvise for this verse. Her hands brush against Rachel's stubborn shoulders multiple times but that elicits no reaction from her stoic counterpart, which means that she's playing her part very well.

The chorus kicks in again and the choir does box steps and twists and they cross so that the boys are now intermingled with the girls, though Quinn doesn't notice this because she's focusing on the girl angrily huffing at her and pushing against her slightly. The feelings Rachel causes in her are just so strange to Quinn; never has she ever been turned on so much by anger, never mind that it's another girl. She can't really sort all of this out in the middle of a song, though, so she just presses on and Rachel enters with a harmony that shakes Quinn's very foundations while at the same time forcing her to step it up to match that performance. The boys ask the question don't you want your girl hot. Quinn and Rachel both blow a kiss in their direction before resuming their break-up song, brought back to together with a spin so that Rachel ends up holding the relatively lightweight cheerleader in a dip and they scream at each other 'cause every night who's in your bed and Quinn can't believe she manages to make it through that lyric without blushing profusely. Then Rachel pushes Quinn out of her arms and Finn catches her, but she breaks free of that his strong grip and marches over to Rachel, reminding her that it is her in Rachel's bed every night. Metaphorically, of course. It's Maureen in Joanne's bed in reality, but whatever. Somehow those tiny details don't seem terribly important to either of them anymore.

When Quinn has to deliver the spoken words, "Kiss, Pookie?" (ew), she finds herself offering Rachel her lips instead of her cheek like Mr. Schu had originally intended and she might be puckering them just a little too much, but that's OK because Rachel's response of "It won't work" is slightly halfhearted. And now it's Rachel's turn to be angry at Quinn and spout off about her scorned love in the most controlled way possible. As she prattles on about margins and lists, Quinn circles around her like a flirtatious vulture eating the last bits of meat off Rachel's sun-bleached bones. Her husky eyes, her suggestive body language, her swaying hips, and her casual touches fluster Rachel just enough for her to stumble on a line like Quinn did earlier, but she regains her confidence in time to forcibly utter and this girl satisfies while inching threateningly closer to Quinn, who backs off and retreats into the mess of people as Rachel throws herself into the chorus.

She squeezes Quinn's hand hard and pulls her back into a dance for the chorus that Mr. Schu had them spend much too much time rehearsing because it took Puck and Mercedes ages to get it right. So by this point Quinn is used to falling into Rachel's chest for and having the other girl sing (or mouth the words, like they did in practice) directly into her face, but somehow, caught up in the energy of the music and the dance and the background voices, Rachel's hot breath feels different against her cheek this time and she finds herself with a case of "I've been swept off my feet" syndrome as Rachel's surprisingly strong arms keep her from falling.

The bridge approaches and Quinn stays in Rachel's arms while the rest of the glee club does a sort of square dance style partner exchange. By this point the two leads are, for all practical purposes, screaming their lungs out at each other as much as possible without butchering the song with the choir echoing energetically behind them. Rachel twists Quinn out of her arms in a rough dance move, but Quinn hurries back up to her, their movements of push and pull mirroring each other so that the audience can see the battle brewing between them. Everything escalates in a tumultuous symphony consisting of a string of fortissimo notes, climaxing in the final chorus' key change.

The boys and girls go down to the bottom of the risers, sitting down rhythmically so that Quinn and Rachel are the only ones really visible. They push on through the chorus without losing energy, one that gets louder and louder as they inch closer and closer. Now it's strictly improv, the movements between the cheerleader and the diva. Some part of the song has overtaken them and Quinn brings their performance up one more step: unexpectedly, she grips Rachel's face with both of her smooth hands and she can't believes she's actually doing this. The line at this moment is take me, held out over nine beats with a slur up to the highest note on the ninth beat. Quinn recalls that that final note is marked with a marcato accent, and she hopes her actions live up to that direction.

Voices meld in a frenzy and Quinn continues to lean in closer and closer to Rachel, and she can see that the other girl is unsure whether or not Quinn will kiss her. But Rachel is interested not in whether or not Quinn will kiss her (they're singing; how could that possibly work?), and instead on whether or not Quinn wants to kiss her. As inexperienced as she is, Rachel sees both her and Quinn's bodies reacting as though they're about to press their lips needily together, but then beat nine arrives, and they both make some weird psychic connection to shove each other in the opposite direction. It's time for the final notes of the number: Guess I'm leaving; I'm gone! And on the last word, they turn away from each other and everyone freezes until they hear Mr. Schu drop his score to break the stunned silence.

"OH MY GOD!" He's totally stunned and their heads jerk up just to prove to their eyes what their ears already know. "I wish I had filmed that! Rachel and Quinn, that was a-mazing! Seriously! Your additions to the choreography were spot on, especially at the end there. Keep it. I think we could definitely perform this song at regionals. That's it for today. Go home- wow!" He laughs and shakes his head to himself, never believing that his plan would work so well, while Puck pervertedly wonders what additions Mr. Schu is talking about.

Quinn and Rachel both get the feeling in the pits of their stomachs that this is not quite over and they hang around as the rest of the group claps their shoulders and shouts their praises and then heads out the door. Mr. Schu leaves, asking what they're still doing there, and Rachel invents a lie that their harmonies were just a bit off and that they won't need the pianist to stay with them. With a chuckle, Mr. Schu remarks that that's a good thing because the pianist's already gone. Rachel blushes, but ushers Mr. Schu out by saying, "Your wife's probably waiting. It's kind of late." This gets him out of the door in a second.

When all that's left is the silence of their choir room and their still warm bodies, Rachel doesn't quite know what to say. Thankfully, Quinn knows what to do because she takes a couple of steps forward and slams Rachel fairly hard against the room's concrete walls before colliding Rachel's lips and her own, electrifying both of their bodies in a way that changes anger into pure lust. The brunette isn't about give up without a fight and she pushes back against Quinn, moving her lips off the other cheerleader's and onto the pale, smooth skin of her neck. Rachel begins down by her collarbone and works her way up amidst Quinn's jiggles and moans until she reaches her ear, nips at it. "Take me, baby."

And that's too much for Quinn. In a move that neither of them really figured was possible, Quinn spins Rachel just like a dance move and props her awkwardly on top of the piano. Rachel's butt doesn't exactly get all the way up on the shiny black surface though it doesn't hurt and she understands the idea well enough to get up there herself. Tan legs encased in sweaty white stockings encircle Quinn's waist and she smiles into Rachel's kiss because she wonders exactly where Rachel learned how to do all of this stuff without ever actually doing it. Maybe she watches lots of porn. Either that, or she watches a lot of Showtime.

Although, Quinn decides, Showtime might be a valid source for this kind of stuff because Rachel's doing something that involves swirling her tongue across skin in a way that feels so damn good, Quinn wouldn't have cared if she learned it from a two bit hobo-hooker. And then there's her hands (the infamous man hands that suddenly don't seem so manly anymore) sweeping over Quinn's body and lightly brushing across her stomach and back and shoulders and even breasts but never lingering too long. Quinn draws lines along the inside of Rachel's thighs and Rachel's moaning and so is Quinn and Rachel's hands are actually on her breasts now and she's letting her go places she's never let Finn go and her hands are underneath Rachel's shirt and they're fumbling around trying to find her bra and then-

They stop kissing because there's a significant need for air. Quinn slides her hands back down Rachel's sides until they're on her waist and Rachel's steadily retreat to Quinn's shoulders. Two foreheads bump together in the presence of tiny giggles and little smirks that don't want to go away. Both girls are breathing hard and it shows in their heaving chests, all that energy they used keeping their brains from processing exactly what just went on. But they touch noses in an Eskimo kiss, which brings about a moment of adorable intimacy that Quinn wasn't prepared for when she signed up to make-out with Rachel Berry.

And she panics.

It takes Rachel exactly eight minutes and 43 seconds to figure out which bathroom and which stall Quinn is hiding in after running away from their little tryst. Rachel's not a picture of a calm indifference, however. On the contrary, synapses misfire in the largest ways as she speeds through the halls and she can't really remember anything except for how to move her legs and how good Quinn felt with her, around her, over her.

School has long since been abandoned so there's no need for Quinn to turn to the privacy of a stall while she sobs her heart out. The tiles can't possibly be very warm and her cheerleading uniform can't possibly offer much protection, Rachel thinks with distinct pangs of pity and self-loathing. She just hooked up with a very pregnant cheerleader with no explanation, no warning. That's something she just shouldn't do. So she sucks up her pride and goes to intentionally touch Quinn Fabray for the second time today.

Only this time it's soft and gentle and as platonic as she can possibly make it. Rachel's arms surround Quinn's shoulders and she pulls the blonde girl's head into her chest. Wet tears seep through the fabric of her purple sweater, but being next to her heartbeat appears to be calming Quinn down, so Rachel doesn't really mind. There's a few more seconds of sobbing before they subside into silence and Rachel's just waiting for Quinn to break it.

"Why did we do that?" Quinn's voice is rough and scratchy and raw like she's been crying for hours instead of minutes.

Rachel sighs, not really having much of an answer. "I'd like to blame the song, but I think it was more of a catalyst than anything."

"But then why? I don't- I can't- like you, Rachel. Not like that anyway." Quinn takes a moment to appreciate the squishy, comfy support that Rachel's chest and stomach provide and then admits quietly, "But I do like this."

"Lying on a bathroom floor?"

"Lying against you." Rachel feels as though she should reward Quinn for that confession and does so with a kiss on top of her smooth blonde hair. "What does it all mean, Rachel?"

Her former arch nemesis halts for once, no words spilling out of a mouth that usually never shuts up. Finally, a deep shaky breath slides out from between Rachel's lips (now containing an intoxicating mixture of both her Cherry Cherry lip gloss and Quinn's, which tastes like bananas) and is followed by, "I don't know. And right now, I don't really think it matters. Maybe we should just stay like this for a while now and we can figure it all out later because even though this floor is kind of cold, I like having you lie against me." Tentatively Rachel seeks out Quinn's lips again and she gets a burst of banana for just a couple of seconds before the chaste kiss ends and Quinn settles back into her original position.

Upon reflection, there's always been too much animosity between the two of them to have it be anything of substance. Rachel's always been told that intense flames burn out at the gust of a small wind, and maybe that's what her and Quinn's anger has always been about. And now, years later, they've finally found the wind.