Red.

"Hey, what's this?" Robin said, shoving a plastic-draped hanger into his arms. She was searching through his costume clothes rack for something "less slutty" to wear for her resume video.

Barney looked down at the article of clothing in his hands, a long, red, heavy-cotton coat with large white ceramic buttons on the shoulder and he huffed a deep breath, ready with an explanation. But Robin had already moved on - she was currently engrossed in his kung-fu uniform, already pulling off the protective plastic covering.

How quickly they forget.

He turned around with a sigh. If she's have found a Superman costume in there, or a Spiderman costume, she wouldn't have to ask him "what's this?".

And it wasn't as though he'd tried to hide his past. It wasn't as though he'd ever deny it if he were asked outright. It was just… it all seemed so far away now. He'd not been back to LA in years, and any ELE business he took part in could be carried out over the internet.

You didn't need to appear in person any more to commit evil. Hence his red coat going into cold storage. He didn't even know what he'd done with his protective goggles and gloves.

"Hey, I like this!" Robin said, pulling the white robe over her head.

"Of course you do!" He said with an exasperated sigh. "It's the most kick-ass and least sexy thing I own. It's perfect for you. If you wanna clean up trash for the rest of your life, Jesus! Aren't you having a hard enough time trying to get a job, without deliberately trying to sabotage your chances?"

The world was a mess.

When chicks like Scherbatsky couldn't even get a break, the world was on its last legs. Ready for the farm.

She gave him a stern look, hands on her hips.

"Okay okay," He conceded. "We'll do it your way."

Far be it for him to try and force her to do anything she didn't want to do. The woman was as stubborn as Bad Horse had been.

Ach, he missed Bad Horse. Almost as much as he missed death-rays.

*--*--*

"Seriously!" Robin said, when she saw his editing equipment. "What do you do?"

He chuckled under his breath and gave his obligatory answer. "Please!" It's not as if he wouldn't tell her if she asked the right question. Like "Are you, or have you ever been a member of the Evil League of Evil"?

It's not as if it was his fault he had to get out of LA, that the place just got way too hot for him after the fifth assassination attempt. Superheroes he could deal with. Aspiring villains attempting to join the ELE through the traditional career route of "dead men's shoes" was another matter.

It's not as if he wanted to impress her.

After Shannon and, latterly, Penny, Barney had turned his life around as far as women were concerned. When the ELE sent him away, he'd chosen to return to New York, his Mom, and set up a new life.

It's not as if anyone ever recognised him. He'd always thought the thing with Superman and Clark Kent was utterly ridiculous until he'd experienced it himself. Seriously! How hard was it to realise he was Doctor Horrible without the goggles and labcoat? Even at the height of his fame (infamy?) he could happily walk around Echo Park in broad daylight and no one would bat an eyelid. He might as well have been invisible.

Barney let Robin loose with her resume footage while he took the red coat off its hanger, unbuttoned it, and felt the rough material under his fingers. It smelled musty, felt stiff from years of dry cleaning. He remembered a time when all his coats were soft, almost worn thin from cheap detergent and too-hot laundry tubs.

He hadn't been to a laundry mat for five years.

Barney took off his jacket and shirt, slipping on a tshirt and pulling the red coat over his arms and shoulders. It felt… big. Maybe his body shape had changed? Maybe he'd just gotten way too used to fitted Italian tailoring.

Robin turned around to stare at him as he buttoned the lab coat up to the neck.

"Well?" He said.

She looked at him with something almost approaching recognition. For a minute his heartbeat skipped with excitement. Then she said:

"You know, Ted's got a pair of cowboy boots that would go perfectly with that!"

He threw his shirt at her.