My 'start of the fic' Authors Notes are often quite long. If you want to skip through it, do so at your own risk. You'll miss out on a lot if you do. (And I'll still carry out the threats of anti-flaming even if you don't read it) If you haven't read both Naruto AND Bleach, you'll be lost right from the start. I'd advise reading both. They're damn good.

First off, as a whole, this is the darkest fic I've ever written. Period… It might not start out all that dark, but trust me when I say it get a shitload darker later on. And yes, this is a Naruto/Bleach crossover. The original premise? I wanted to write a Naruto/Bleach crossover in which Naruto doesn't die and go to Soul Society to become a Shinigami… ohhh no, this fic takes a whole different turn to how it starts up. And for only giving serious thought to the idea of it for about a week, I'm damn proud of what I've managed to mesh together.

I don't own Naruto or Bleach, and I actually USE the spell-check button before I even send it to my Beta(s) (I have two, but I'm not sure right now if both are interested in going over every chapter of this fic, I know at least one will, though) So I know the grammar is decent too. I'd also like everyone to know that I take full liberty of the 'Delete Anonymous Review' function. If you don't have the balls to leave something that can be traced back to you, you don't deserve to tell me what I did wrong in MY fic.

Constructive criticism is welcome. Telling me when I accidentally put 'Temari' instead of 'Tayuya' or get minor details wrong is appreciated. I like correcting my mistakes when I make them. A three page essay on why I'm retarded for putting 'There' instead of 'Their'? I'd just slap that up on the forums for people to laugh at you for wasting your precious time on me for something sooooo bad.

Seriously, I will. Idiotic flames go up on the forums.

I have a bad habit of capitalizing random words in a sentence that shouldn't be capitalized, especially important words, like chakra, reishi, reiatsu, zanpakuto… these things may be capitalized, even though they don't need to be. It's a force of habit. Please ignore it.

If none of you mind, I'm going to jump straight into the action, and explain everything on the fly or with flashbacks. Just so you know, you shouldn't expect many flashbacks… I'm hoping to just explain it satisfactorily with my basic explanation of what's going on. If not, I suppose I can do the flashback…

I apologize if anything seems rushed, but I just hate waiting to get to the good stuff…

ANYWAY, let's get on with the fic, now, shall we?

"Talking" 'Thinking' "Kyuubi" "I ain't tellin' yet" (Insert the most obnoxious smiley-face you can think of here)

EDIT: (added in between chapters three and four)

Okay, I figured I should just come out and say it. I am TIRED of people reviewing the first chapter talking about a subject that is DEALT WITH in a later chapter. Namely, Reiatsu vs Reishi.

You all say it's 'Reiatsu' and I have to say, when I read it, with the way it's said in most of those reviews and PMs, it always seems so condescending. Like you're just correcting some child on some error that everyone should know. Frankly?

I don't give a fuck.

Even IF it really is just all Reiatsu, I site my rights as a creative writer to change it. In my fic, my bullshit is how it works. I apologize if I offended anyone with that.

END EDIT

Approximately one eighth of Konohagakure was seated in the open field that made up training ground three, where the Memorial Stone was located. They were here for a funeral. Not four weeks ago, they held the Toad Sannin's funeral in this exact spot, which had inevitably increased the size of the clearing tenfold to accommodate all of the late sage's old friends and acquaintances. Now they were here for another funeral… the funeral of Uzumaki Naruto.

The thing was, though… Naruto wasn't dead.

The boy had inherited everything the Toad Sannin owned upon his death, as was the old man's decree in his will. Who better to leave your shit to than your godson? The son of the only man you could ever consider your own son? This of course included all of Jiraiya's notes taken during his 'research'… and his blackmail material. Naruto had used a good portion of the material on Tsunade to 'persuade' her to go along with this plot. It was simple really, in design and execution…

The boy just wanted to see if anyone would cry if he died.

In truth, it wasn't even the only 'Memorial Stone' in Konoha… the original stone stood atop the Hokage Monument, along with the next three stones, including one stone dedicated entirely to those lost during the Kyuubi massacre. This was simply the current memorial stone. There were two others in the town proper, in training fields ten and thirteen. These were made during the wars. The total death toll from a shinobi village per year was simply too great for any one stone to hold for all the village's years. The only reason the third 'war stone' wasn't full was because it was during the time when it was being carved that the Yondaime had completed his legendary jutsu, the Hiraishin. Of course, they had to stick the Kyuubi Attack Memorial Stone atop the Yondaime's head… Naruto had stopped going there to think after he'd found out about the Kyuubi being sealed inside him. It didn't feel right. And over the course of figuring out that his father was the Yondaime himself, Naruto began to slowly lose himself to his hatred of the man. On several occasions, it took all of Naruto's willpower not to destroy the stone face that always stared down at him as if judging him, deeming him unworthy to even be called his son.

Naruto hated that man. And he had every right to.

Naruto's plan was, in essence, a simple one. Supposedly die on a solo mission, put himself into a near-death state in which he would retain consciousness, and have a Genjutsu master 'engrave' his name into the stone, which would essentially mean placing a complex Genjutsu over it making it look like it'd been carved into the stone without actually defacing it with the name of a shinobi that hadn't actually been killed in action.

The only three who knew Naruto was alive were Naruto himself, Tsunade, who had placed him into his medical coma, and Yuuhi Kurenai, who was enlisted to place the Genjutsu over the stone. The fact that she was pregnant with her dead lover's child didn't dampen her skills by any noticeable margin. After all, she still didn't even look pregnant, although this in itself might've been an elaborate Genjutsu…

But there was one part of the plan that needed a special touch… one that no human could manage…

The previous day-

Naruto stood before the Kyuubi's cage, glaring up at the fox with his arms crossed over his chest. "Fox, I need you to do something for me."

The massive fox glared down at him. "You honestly expect me to obey you, a pathetic excuse for a gnat? I will do nothing for you."He growled.

Naruto smirked. "You know that I've just finished going through everything Ero-Sennin had on the seal, and I know a particularly nasty way to tweak it that would, by destroying my soul, cause yours to collapse in on itself, killing the both of us." The fox's glare intensified a hundredfold. "You've seen my life, you know I'd do it, if just to take you with me. So, what'll it be?"

The Kyuubi growled, the sound reverberating throughout the entire sewer of Naruto's mind. "What is it you want?"

Naruto's smirk intensified. "I know that even if I 'die' people will still be able to sense my chakra, so I want you to change it into something else. I know you can do it, the notes even said that the seal was made up of energies they'd never seen before."

"Idiot human, there are reasons why we do not use those energies!" The Kyuubi snapped.

Naruto's smile only widened. "I. Don't. Care." He said whimsically before glaring at the fox. "Just DO IT."

The fox grumbled for a few moments before nodding. "The consequences will be on YOUR head, brat… not mine." It infuriated him to no end that the blonde gnat only kept smiling.

And so, here Naruto lay, in a casket set before the memorial stone, what energy he had was only detectable in minute amounts, and even then, everyone there simply figured he hadn't finished venting off his chakra yet, since he'd had so much of it. He'd supposedly died only the night before, after all. Naruto would've smirked if he could move any part of his body. The plan was going perfectly. He didn't bother listening to Tsunade's eulogy for him, after all, he'd helped her write it. He knew everything she was going to say…

It took just over an hour for Tsunade to finish her speech, teary-eyed and sorrowful… the woman could've been an actress if she'd wanted. Once the Godaime was done, Kurenai added Naruto's name to the stone, making sure to look as if she was actually chiseling it in as she placed the Genjutsu.

As she passed him, she glared down at him. She knew what this would do to Hinata… it'd break the poor girl. But she couldn't stay long, she needed to be by her student's side. Hinata needed her right now. The girl was already distraught by the time Kurenai approached her seat, more like she'd lost her lover than a crush… but Kurenai knew that was closer to what the boy was to her, even if it was a one-sided affair. Kurenai had managed to make sure Hinata was the first to speak after Tsunade, though…

Once the dark-blue-haired girl made it up to the casket, with Kurenai's hands over her shoulders, her tears began to flow more furiously, creating a veritable stream down her cheeks. "N-n-na-n-n…" She started, trying to center herself and form his name. He wouldn't want her to be weak. She needed to be strong. She needed to say what she'd been trying to say for so many years… "N-n-na-n-Naruto-k-kun… I… I l-lo…"

Before she could finish, an explosion rocked the clearing as a massive beast began descending on her… only for a blade to block its claw. "Please leave… You are in danger here."

When she looked up, she saw the arc of the blade descend down beside her, towards the hilt, which rested in the hands of a small boy with snow white hair… who looked an odd mix of bored and enraged. He was cloaked in white over black robes. She couldn't take in any more of his features before Kurenai pulled her away, and the boy flung the massive paw upward, only to slash through it… and straight through the white mask that made up its face.

"Get out of here! You'll just be killed!" A busty blonde in similar black robes shouted as she engaged another beast. They were swarming over the field, countless shinobi had risen up to combat them, and many were succeeding, but just as many were falling back to protect the civilians in the crowd. Many more of these sword-wielding people in black were also fighting the masked monsters… Right now Kurenai just wanted to find a place for her and her surrogate daughter to hide.

--

Naruto was furious. There was a battle going on during his funeral! Call him selfish or egotistical if you want, but this was his show, dammit! After these feelings began to pass, they were met with more rage at the fact that he was still paralyzed. After all, he hadn't wanted to accidentally twitch a finger and alert anyone to the fact that he was still alive… and now he was regretting it.

As the battle raged, the blonde's ire grew exponentially. He should be in the spotlight. He should be fighting. He should be happy…

"Take the sword…"

If Naruto's eyes could widen, they would've… He Immediately shouted into his head, demanding the fox to explain himself, only for him to deny having said anything… and the voice was different, too… This one was softer, and lighter, but it had a tightness to it… like it was holding back.

"Take the sword." It repeated. Naruto mentally yelled at it, asking it what it meant, since he couldn't move.

"Take the sword!"

'What sword!?'

"TAKE THE FUCKING SWORD!!"

And so Naruto used all his strength, and reached out… he took the sword.

--

Matsumoto Rangiku was having a bad day… why? Because she and half of the Tenth Division had been torn away from their posts and shoved into this place, to fight Hollows. And not just any hollows. Including the one she was fighting now, there were half a dozen Adjuchas-class Menos Grande, as well as a dozen Gillian Menos. It was insane. Countless weaker hollows were also scattered around Konoha looking for prey, most notable being the blonde in the casket giving off enough Reiatsu to blanket the entire village. In truth, they probably couldn't even tell which humans were giving off any at all…

She'd only taken her eyes off the opponent for a split second, but any veteran knows such a thing could be fatal… she'd been getting rusty. She saw the incoming blow, and braced to reduce the damage, but it never came. Instead, she looked on in confusion as a blonde boy in his white burial yukata stood atop the hollow's severed waist while its torso rose into the air, a massive blade as big as him in one hand. He'd paused just long enough for her to catch his bright blue eyes and the whisker marks on his cheek before vanishing. As the Adjuchas faded away in front of her, she caught a Gillian splitting in two vertically in her peripheral vision, but its slayer was gone by the time she turned her head, off to his next target.

She sped off to meet her captain, who was engaging another Menos. Just as she arrived, it had its arm cut off and was split down the middle by the same blonde. Then there was a flash of sparks as two blades clashed. The blonde's own platinum Zanbatou meeting the chipped and battle-worn blade of a giant…

"Move…" The blonde growled. It took every bit of his focus to keep himself from lashing out at anything that moved thanks to the pain caused by forcing every action through his body's paralysis. In truth, he'd been pumping so much energy into his limbs that he was running on empty by then, even half a minute after he'd entered the fight. This only damaged his body further, causing more pain. Naruto was no stranger to pain, but this was unreal… his own body tearing itself apart.

"No." The giant replied, the bells attached to his long spiked hair jingling as he tilted his head in interest, and gave a malicious smile. "You're strong…"

The fact that the blonde had the giant captain at a stalemate was not lost on their observers. "Stop this now!" Hitsugaya, the white-haired teen, roared. "We need to get him back to Soul Society, now!"

Matsumoto quickly opened up a Senkaimon with her Zanpakuto, the rice-paper doors sliding open ominously. "Yachiru-chan?" The small pink-haired girl popped up from behind the massive Kenpachi's shoulder at Matsumoto's call. "Would you please escort the boy?"

The girl leapt from her perch, dragging the blonde behind her through the doorway. "C'mon spiky, I've gotta' keep you safe so Ken-chan can fight you later!" She cheered happily.

As soon as doors closed and the blonde was gone, several of the hollows faded and disappeared, their prey gone… but most of them remained, and would need to be dealt with.

--

The pair sped down the street, the pink-haired girl pulling the irate and growling blonde behind her, explaining the situation as they went. Passersby could liken it to a small child pulling a rabid tiger by a leash… until the blonde collapsed, and wound up dragged by his hand for several blocks before the girl realized he'd fallen.

When Naruto woke, his eyes locked onto the person leaning over him. A woman with kind eyes who had her hair braided down in front of her robes. It took the blonde a moment to notice it, but she had a motherly way about her, but hidden deep down was a harder heart… a colder form than what was shown. She reminded him of a kunoichi… Needless to say, he was instantly fond of the woman.

When she saw he was awake, she smiled down at him. "My name is Unohana Retsu, Captain of the Fourth Division. You are in our division's medical wing… you didn't have any major injuries, just a severe case of exhaustion, but you were still unconscious for nearly twenty hours."

Naruto blinked. "Twenty hours? For being tired?" He sighed, shaking his head. That was unheard of for him.

"It's nothing to be worried about, I was just checking up on you, since the other injured have all stabilized. This is actually the first time anyone's set foot in your room in fifteen hours, after the wounded started coming in…" She explained. Her smile never faltered. He admired that.

"Makes sense…" Naruto muttered. He woke up when he sensed someone nearby. It did make sense… and she was quiet. Almost too quiet, in fact. She wasn't a Captain for nothing, it seemed. "So, this is heaven, huh? Never thought I'd end up here…" He said with a morbid chuckle.

"If you feel up to it… there are a few people here to see you." She said, he smile lessening a bit.

"Sure!" He said, far too cheerfully, as he flipped out from under the covers of his bed, skill garbed in the white yukata, and hopped onto the floor. "Where to? And where's my sword?"

She sighed before motioning for someone to come forward. Naruto hadn't been paying attention before, but a tall, blue-grey haired young woman came forward, carrying his sword. "This is my vice-captain, Koutetsu Isane. She'll show you to where they are. If you'll excuse me, I need to continue my rounds, now."

Naruto nodded as he took his sword. He hadn't had a chance to really look at it until now, but the hilt was a deep, dark blue, and the blade itself looked to be white silver, with a light blue tinge to it… a platinum sword. The blade itself looked oddly stylized, as the sharpened edge of the blade met the body of the blade in a crescent wave-like pattern, and the larger portion of the blade looked as if a calligrapher's scroll, ruined by water, rendering the large kanji characters illegible. One of the most peculiar things however was the guard… a single thin line of metal parting from each side curving inward in a spiral pattern. The woman looked as if she was having difficulty lifting it, but it didn't feel any heavier than a normal katana to him. After he'd placed it on his back and left it there, a feat which seemed to amaze her, he nodded and gestured towards the door the Captain had left through.

Several corridors later, the pair had come upon a waiting room. There were three people waiting in this room, each wearing the same black robes as everyone else, of which Naruto recognized only one… the Sandaime Hokage. Naruto watched as a red-haired woman's eyes widened, and she motioned for the last occupant to turn. A man with spiked blonde hair…

Naruto's eyes narrowed at the man. Even as he turned, Naruto knew exactly who it was. His father, the Yondaime Hokage…

"N-Naruto…" The man whispered, reaching out slowly, and taking a step forward.

"Don't call me that." Naruto growled, taking a step back. His eyes were darkened and narrowed dangerously.

"It's the name we gave you…" The elder blonde muttered sadly, taking his hand back.

Naruto's eyes flared red. "I don't want anything you've given me, bastard!" The three watched as silvery-blue Reiatsu flowed out from the boy, showing just how angry he was, if the killing intent wasn't enough to discern it. Then his whisker marks began to deepen, his fingernails lengthened and sharpened into claws, and his bared teeth turned to fangs… and he vanished in a burst of yellow light.

The Yondaime's eyes widened as he saw his son vanish with his own most powerful technique. He had enough time to mutter the first two syllables of its name before he felt a sharp pain in his torso, and glanced down to see the tip of his own Zanpakuto sticking out from the folds of his Shihakusho.

Naruto leaned forward, reaching into the man's robes to retrieve the Hiraishin kunai that Naruto knew would be somewhere on his father's person. As he did so, he whispered into the elder blonde's ear. "Uzumaki Naruto… is dead."

Then Naruto let his father fall to the floor, his own zanpakuto through his stomach. "Naruto-kun… why!?" The woman yelled, clutching herself while Sarutobi tended to the fallen Namikaze.

"I have no father…" Naruto answered, glaring down at the blonde man. Then, turning his glacial gaze upon the woman, he added; "…or mother."

The blonde boy dashed away, leaving the wounded Minato and crying Kushina where they were as Sarutobi called for aid.

--

By the time Naruto made his way out of the veritable maze that was the Fourth Division hospital wing, he already had pursuers chasing after him, alerting those ahead of him to his status as a rogue element, leading them to lash out at him as well. The blonde felt no pain, however… no matter how much he bled. Naruto was running as fast as he could, trying to find any sign of where he was… and then he saw it. The large platforms with gates on them… the same gates he entered this weird place through. If he could get through there…

"Hey, what are you doing!?" One of the guards shouted as the blonde pulled his sword from its sheath.

"Saying goodbye…" The blonde muttered to himself as he flung the blade as hard as he could, pumping as much cha… reishi into it as possible. It didn't have the same effect as chakra, but it would have to do.

The zanpakuto plunged into the side of the Senkaimon gate, sending a crack through the archway. Naruto then took his own Zanpakuto, and as he dashed through the portal, slashed the other side of the arch… the resulting explosion sending stone shards from the archway into his back, propelling him through the other side. As soon as he landed, Naruto began to sprint as fast as he could… as far as he could.

It'd felt like days he'd been running, even though he knew it couldn't have been more than one… maybe it was the blood loss? Oh yeah, he probably had a dozen bits of rock lodged in every limb, not to mention how many must've been in his back. It was night when he'd started running, and it was night again now… at least twenty hours. After that, he simply crumpled in on himself mid-leap between buildings. He knew he was falling, but he didn't have the energy to land safely, even if he'd completed his jump.

He hit the ground… and kept rolling, until he struck a wall. "Oh my god, are you okay!?" Naruto could tell the voice was feminine, young… a young woman. He could feel her lifting him up to his feet, before he stumbled away from her, and took up a fighting stance. "Wh-what are you doing? You need to get to a hospital, now!" She yelled. She was wearing loose clothing, cargo pants and a T-shirt, with odd lettering on it. Her hair was black and spiky, her grey eyes filled with worry.

Naruto fell to his knees. "No… hospitals…" He huffed out before falling to the ground again.

She rushed over, slinging one of his arms over her shoulders and pulling him up. "I'm taking you to the hospital…"

The air grew thick, and her breathing thinned. "No… Hospital…" He growled.

"Okay… no hospital…" She choked out, barely able to stand. As soon as the words left her throat, the air returned to normal, and she turned around. "If that's that, there's only one place to go…"

--

Ichigo was having a nice day, until he heard the door being pounded upon in the middle of the night. He was just about to go to bed, when he'd gotten up to open the door. Imagine his surprise when he found Tatsuki answering it with a bloody blonde dragging behind her.

"Dad? DAD GET DOWN HERE!" Ichigo yelled. "Yuzu! Karin! C'mon!" The orange-headed teen helped his childhood friend pull the blonde into the clinic. By the time they'd gotten him in and closed the door, Ichigo's father and sisters had arrived, and began their work pulling him onto a bed. Isshin had one hell of a time pulling the sword from his back, even though nothing seemed to be holding it there. Once it was removed however, and the extent of the damage could be seen, he shook his head.

"This boy needs to go to the hospital…" As he was turning to reach for the phone, in order to call for an ambulance, the air thickened with a tangible malignance.

"No… hospital…" The blonde moaned.

"O-okay, no hospital…" Isshin muttered. And the air became clear again. "Okay, if we're not taking this to a hospital, we'll need to prep for surgery here. We need to get that debris out of his wounds now!"

"Hey, sir! Stay awake!" Yuzu yelled, trying to keep the blonde alive. "Can you tell me your name?"

"Uzu…" The blonde started, and groaned. He'd renounced his name… what to call himself now? After such a long moment that the three working on his wounds thought he'd fallen asleep, he answered. "Kazama… Arashi…"

While Ichigo and Tatsuki watched from a distance, another set of eyes peered down from the stairway. These eyes shifted down to a small handheld device, reading off the new message. 'A dangerous ryouka escaped from Soul Society… Uzumaki Naruto… kill on sight.'

She had her orders…

This conversation actually took place. I asked my Beta who should come and 'rescue' Naruto. He replied. "Hitsu-fucking-gaya, that's who!" And so, Hitsugaya, the demi-bishi prince of all that is awesome, saves Naruto.

And yes, all of Naruto's (and Kyuubi's) chakra was turned into Reishi… or whatever raw spirit-power is called. How? Fucked if I know… if anything ever doesn't make sense, just do what I do- blame Kyuubi.

I have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA how a Zanpakuto is formed. I'm just winging it, since this is MY fic, and I can spout whatever BS I want because of it.

This is a Harem fic. I've already picked out three girls, but the rest will be up to people voting in the poll I'll stick up in my profile right before I post this fic. The girls I've already decided are going to be in are Rukia, Tatsuki, and Hinata. Just so there's no confusion, I'll say it here. Rukia is probably the OLDEST girl I'm going to pair with Naruto. (Hell, she's probably older than Tsunade) Meaning most of the Bleach girls are out already.

No, Naruto isn't dead. Ugh. Some people just can't understand a figure of speech, so I'm spelling it out here for you. He was talking metaphorically. I'm still probably going to have to put a note in the next chapter about it too…

I always try and shoot for at least 4,000 words per chapter in any fanfiction chapter.

Remember, poll in my profile regarding secondary pairings for Naruto. (Primaries are Rukia, Tatsuki and Hinata)