Alice's Choice

Alice's POV. Takes place the first night in Forks after Edward, Bella, and Alice return from Italy.

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5/23/08: I updated this story slightly...just making a few small changes after rereading Eclipse for the fiftiethtime. If this isn't your first time looking at it, you aren't missing anything significant. Just figured I'd let you all know.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, Bella, or Edward. If anything, they own me.

I leaned back onto the couch, watching the clock intently. My eyes skimmed to the closed door. I had seen him coming home to change for school at 5:04. What was going on?

I knew the first moment I looked at Bella's face after I saw her jump from the cliff. I knew what had to be done. And if Edward refused, I would do it myself.

I didn't understand him. Why did he have to be so stubborn? It was plainly obvious—especiallyafter the most current of events—that Bella and Edward were not going to survive in health without each other. Plus, now the Volturi were involved. He couldn't hide her away forever. If it weren't the Volturi, some other lethal vampire would be after her. Or she could just trip and hit her head on the sidewalk, of course.

Edward was unbearable during that time that they were separated. And I understood now because of Charlie, that Bella hadn't been doing so hot either.

It was amazing how much he depended on her without her even knowing it. Sure, he caught her each time her sock grazed a plank of wood, but if he hadn't? If she had fallen and not survived? Italy.

I shuddered, remembering. God, that boy really thought nothing of life-altering (or better yet, life-diminishing) actions when Bella was involved. I mean, why couldn't he have checked with me?

Although I tried not to think about it when Edward was around, in reality, it didn't matter if he was literally dead or not. Without her, he was completely lifeless.

And there was no other way. Bella wanted it, more than anything else. And her decision never wavered. Never. I saw in her eyes sometimes when she thought of Charlie and Renee—and Jacob. But her future remained unchanged. Especially now that I had made my choice.

Bella wasn't solely Edward's anymore. I loved her too. She was like a sister to me—I would do anything for that girl. If he refused to have her be his wife as a vampire—which I had also seen—then she would be my sister as a vampire. Either way, she was going to be a vampire.

Edward suddenly burst through the door and charged up the stairs. I saw the apparent fury blowing out of him, but he was ignoring my thoughts. He probably only caught the last part. Figures.

Reappearing, he flew down the stairs, but I blocked the door and placed a firm hand on his clean shirt. White. With tan pants. God, would the boy ever learn?

"It's all I had clean, Al. Let me go."

He tried to get around me, but my hand held him firmly in place.

"We have to talk, Edward. I know you want to get back to Bella, but this is more important."

His expression was angry and annoyed. I saw him tense; ready to throw me against the wall if necessary.

Good thing Jasper wasn't around, or Edward and I would never get to have this conversation.

"Listen—you know what I'm going to say, but I'm saying it anyway. Listen to me."

He hadn't moved a muscle, but I was scared he would ditch if I left the doorway unguarded. Of course he could just as easily bust through one of these walls…

"I'm not going to put a hole in the house, Alice, and I don't want to hear it. I haven't seen her in ages. And I'm not discussing this with you. This is my choice, not yours. Don't you dare threaten me."

I'm not threatening you, Edward.

He eyed me doubtfully.

"This isn't your choice anymore, Edward." He looked like he might explode. "Now sit down or at least move away from the door. I'm going to jab my finger through your chest in a second if you don't stop pushing against me."

He turned and moved to the center of the room before spinning back towards me.

"This is completely idiotic. It's my choice. Bella's mine. She's mine. And if you dare…" he trailed off.

God, this boy was totally running out of ammo.

"I heard that."

I raised one eyebrow at him.

"I don't have a need for any 'ammo' against you, Alice," he said coolly. "You'll never lay a finger on her."

"Edward, please just give it a rest," I sighed, exasperated. I was really starting to get annoyed with him. I mean how much longer would he stay in this delusional state? He knew, that, eventually…

"NO! It will NEVER happen, Alice!"

"Edward, I'll say it again. And again and again, if that's what it takes. This is isn't your choice. Or mine. Or Carlisle's. And it wouldn't be Charlie's either if he knew that his only daughter was planning to become one of the…what is the word you use…oh, yes—eternal damned." I threw a little sarcasm in at the end, and he growled fiercely at my words.

"This is Bella's choice. And only Bella's," I finished.

"No. She doesn't know, she doesn't understand…" He sounded pained as he spoke the words, as if she was planning on committing suicide or something. Which, I guess, in his view, she was.

I didn't wait for him to respond to that.

"Think about Italy, Edward. Honestly."

"Alice." He said my name like it was a disease.

"BECAUSE YOU ARE! Just leave her alone! You cannot possibly care for her as much as I do—she is my life, and you are ready to just kill her, like nothing." I drew back from his words. He continued.

"You are only spreading what we have to her…poisoning her…"

"Edward," I whispered, meeting his gaze. I tried to make my eyes soft. He looked pained—he was panting and his eyes were vicious.

"She was infected a long time again. By you. Do you really want her to live in a half life for her entire existence?"

He was taken aback by my words. "What, what are you talking about, Alice? Half life—"

"She is living it right now, Edward. Every day. Half the time with average humans, half the time with us. All she wants, Edward. She wants forever. With you."

He was speechless, so I decided it was a good time to get in some more. I noticed his face flicker in defense from my thoughts, but he remained unmoving.

"Edward, when I went to her in the beginning, after the cliff incident, I realized pretty quickly that my visit was going to destroy her. I mentioned leaving. You should have seen—" I stopped, wondering if I should pain him with these memories. His face hurt to look at; his eyes were burning my skin. But there was no other way.

"The hysteria emerging from her—she was so horribly desperate. I was afraid she would hurt herself if I left." I glanced at him. Now, his face was composed. Emotionless.

"Charlie told me a little about what it was like, Edward, after, after we left." I was beginning to feel guilty about bringing this up. I knew he didn't regret anything else in the world more than his decision to leave Bella. But he needed to know how much he affected her. Okay, Ed? You need to know.

The way the two of them were always so sure that the other person didn't love them—god, it was so annoying. I mean, I always knew Edward was insecure, but I could practically see love when she looked at him. Did you get all that, Edward?

He nodded faintly.

"Edward, she was like you, if not worse. Charlie has spoken to me about it more openly since Italy. I think he has given me the worst parts—hoping I would transfer them to you, probably." I smiled weakly, trying to get a response out of him. God, what was up with this boy?

"That first week…she was catatonic. Charlie told me—she didn't eat, sleep, move." I eyed him. "All she did was stare out a window and whisper your name." His face was still entirely emotionless, like someone had taken some Kleenex and swiped all the feeling away. Where was Jasper when you needed him?

"Alice…" he whispered, his eyes unfocused. I leaned towards him.

"Alice, please refrain from comparing me to a tissue."

"Excuse me!" I couldn't believe that was all he had to say! "I did not compare you to a Kleenex, I associated the expressionless state you are in right now to that of a firm Kleenex swiping!"

He looked at me like I was crazy. Silence.

"Alice," he said in a small voice. "I know all about what she was like. I have heard and seen,"—he cringed—"plenty of it in Charlie's mind, okay?"

I instantly felt guilty. I should have never played that card. But then…

"Edward, if you know what she was like without you, how can you even doubt the effect you have over her?"

"I do not doubt that she loves me…I just doubt that she understands what it is she thinks she wants to do, to be…"

His eyes flashed.

"Damn it Alice, I can't believe you! How could you ever think to change her like that?"

I was put out with this kid. He was so thick. "Edward. You are being completely ridiculous." He tried to get away, but I held his shoulders. "You know that you need her. I can see how much you love her…it's ridiculously apparent. Same with her.

"She needs you just as much as you need her. If what we are is a disease, she is already infected past recovery." He shuddered. "Edward, don't you see? You both are in too far. Without her, you are lifeless, Edward. Dead. Completely dead. And she is the same way."

I looked at him meaningfully. He just stared at me with an indefinable look. I decided to drop the bomb.

"Emotionally, of course, though. But if she remains human, with the visitors we're expecting, she literally be…" It would be better not to say the word again. He knew what I was talking about. You know, right, Ed?

He nodded. "I'll hide her. I won't let—"

I shook my head. "It won't work for long."

He growled. "I'm not going to leave her, she'll stay human, she'll stay…"

Edward. Listen to me, now. He looked towards the door, trying to scheme some way to escape. I guess me confronting him mentally is nothing new.

"My visions are very, very subjective to change. It's all in decisions, you know. And the Butterfly Effect. Edward, despite your plain reluctance, I see you and Bella married, and her becoming one of us."

I also see another occurrence happening post-wedding…

"That's enough, Al." I smiled. He was such a boy scout.

"I am not a boy scout, alright? I just don't want to discuss that with my sister." He growled. I grinned.

"That doesn't matter. Listen to me now, Alice." I snapped my head up, elated that he had finally decided to speak.

"Don't get too excited…" he muttered. Then he looked at me powerfully and said, "If you change her, Alice—god, I don't even know what I'll do to you. I know that Bella would never want me to hurt you, but I really could…"

I must have looked disbelieving, because he decided to continue. "Let me explain my side of things, alright?"

I nodded, a slight smile playing on my lips.

"What the heck are you smiling about?"

"Just talk, Ed." He cleared his throat.

"I love her so much, it scares me. Right now, being away from her, it is physically painful. It's like magnets, or gravity…every moment that I am away from her is like an intense struggle against the strongest force in the world."

I thought of how Bella had explained a similar feeling to me. These two were definitely soul mates.

"Really?" He asked, smiling. "What did she say?"

I beamed up at him. All I wanted was for them to understand how much they loved each other. He completely underestimates her.

"It was recently, actually. Right before we flew to Italy." He seemed to become even more interested at this newly founded information.

"Yes I'm interested, tell me already, Al!"

I grinned. "She was telling me about how she felt away from you." His face fell slightly. "Just listen, okay? She told me that every time she thought of you, or me, or any of us. Thought of the white house, and sat alone in class, or saw a Volvo, that she felt a hole in her chest." As heartbroken as he looked, his face also appeared baffled.

I explained. "She told me that the spot where you took her heart when you left tore open and tried to rip her apart. She said the edges burned and throbbed, and she had to pull her arms around her chest to keep from falling apart."

His face crumbled and he lunged for the door.

"No—Edward this is the interesting part.

"She said that she thought that her body was trying to follow you, but because she had no idea where you had gone, it was pulled her from the inside out in all directions, like her heart was magnetized to you."

And he disappeared.