A/N: Another random pointless one-shot. This is how I imagine Wilbur in kindergarten. (Actually, I think he'd be more imaginative, but alas, I am not more imaginative so I can't think of what he'd think of).

Wilbur sat cross-legged on the carpet in his kindergarten class, like the good, cooperative boy he was (when he wanted to be). He was excited because today it would be his turn for show and tell, and Valerie was up right now, meaning that he was next because it went in alphabetical order.

She's going on and on forever about that stupid Barbie with the pink hair. She only thinks it's so cool because it's the President and a doctor and an astronaut; which is just stupid because it really isn't any of those things. It's just a dumb doll. It used to a lot cooler because it was covered in ants, but it isn't anymore. I wonder how she got them off.

What he brought was much more special than any doll. Really, it was awesome. Out of all the cool things at his house, this was the coolest thing that he was allowed to touch. Carl would be, but Carl was a person, not a thing. So Wilbur's show and tell item was definitely the best.

"Any more questions?" she asked.

From somewhere behind him, Wilbur heard someone ask, "Why is it all wet?"

"That's cuz I had to wash her cuz Wilbur put ants all over her."

Tattletale! How did she even know it was me? Maybe it's because I make fun of her, sometimes, and I put that fake spider in her cubby, and tied her shoes together even though they aren't even tie-shoes, and I made her think there were boogers in her hair, and I showed her the leaf with all those ants on it, yesterday. Oh no! What if she doesn't like me anymore? No she has to like me, because she just smiled at me. This made Wilbur happy.

Miss Price, who was sitting at her desk in the corner of the room, turned to Wilbur and asked in her most 'tell the truth' voice, "Is this true, Wilbur?"

There was a chorus of "Ooooo you're trouble"s and similar phrases.

Don't say anything. If you don't say anything it's not a lie.

"Wilbur, you'll have to stay in at recess." The boy nodded. "Alright, Valerie, you may finish."

She better still let me do show and tell. I've been waiting more than a month. It was really one week. I would get to go if Valerie's name came after mine. They should switch V and W in the alphabet. W is better, anyway so it should go first.

"Her hair is pink because I colored it with a marker that doesn't wash off. Pink is my second favorite color after blue," she said smiling at Wilbur. Blue is my favorite color, too! He smiled back at her, blushing a little. She was the coolest girl, even if girls were gross and weird. "Any other questions?" No one said anything or raised their hands. Valerie sat down on her spot on the carpet.

"Wilbur, it's your turn," Miss Price told him. Yes! He stood up and walked to the front of the class. He took his show and tell item out of his pocket. This is going to be so cool.

"This is my pet rock, and I like it a lot, and it's name is Travis, and he eats iron filings," Wilbur ignored everyone's confused stares at the 'iron filings' part, "and my daddy gave him to me, and he's gray with some white stripes on his back," he held it up to show off the stripes, "and I have to take care of him all by myself, and he's really special to me. Any questions?" There were a surprising number of hands in the air.

"Um, why do you like this rock more than other rocks?" What kind of a question is that?

"Because," Wilbur answered as though it was obvious, while he held it up, petting it "this one, is my pet rock and other rocks are not."

"Why do you have a rock for a pet?"

"I wanted a dog, but my mom said maybe when I'm older. And I don't want to pick up poop, anyway."

Valerie raised her hand "Can I hold it?"

"Sure." He walked up to her and carefully handed Travis over. She took it and handled it carelessly while she examined it every which way and even threw it from one hand to another. "Careful! He'll get mad!"

Valerie, and most of the class looked at him like he was nuts; that is, until Travis barked at her. She froze, holding it out, "It's alive?" He took it back, carefully.

"Duh! Why would he be my pet, if he wasn't alive? Any other questions?" Many hands shot up. It wasn't everyday that they ran into barking rocks. Unfortunately, the bell rang and everyone scrambled to get out to recess.

"Wait!" Miss Price called out, "Don't leave until I tell you. First, everyone line up." Wilbur sat back down on the carpet and played with Travis while he waited for the others to leave so Miss Price to lecture him. He couldn't believe they all thought Travis was just a regular rock. Wilbur pet him, and Travis rolled over in appreciation. Even if he was in trouble, today was a good day.