Chapter One

I'm anxious. I've waited for this day ever since I found out that Agent Walker and her Fiancé would start their therapy sessions again. I had read the report. I knew that Sarah Walker had left the agency. She had started her own consulting company and that her fiancé was doing well with his own gaming business. I wondered briefly if that was just a cover for her. I knew that would come out in these sessions.

Robert Carson, I thought. How did you get to be so lucky?

There were 14 Psychologist on the CIA payroll and I am the one who gets to handle Sarah Walker's decommissioning. I looked at my watch for the one hundredth time in the last hour. They should be here any time now. I stepped over to the small mini bar and brought out three bottled waters. I knew where they would sit from previous visits we had together.

Opening mine, I spill water on both my black golf shirt and khaki pants. I grab a towel and wipe off the excess.

Thinking back to our earlier sessions, I didn't think I would ever see them again, at least not together.

I jumped at the sound of the intercom. Finally. there's Janie. Yes. very well send them in. "Chuck, Agent Walker come in, come in. Make yourself comfortable." I look at my two new patients and the difference between them is dramatic. Chuck is relaxed and comfortable sitting on the couch. Agent Walker on the other hand is a tight ball of nerves sitting right beside him. She looks as though her skin is ready to burst open. Chuck is holding her hand. I can tell he is trying to comfort her.

You poor bastard, I think. She knows what we're dealing with. You don't have a clue.

I notice that the last eight months have been good to them. Even though Agent Walker is nervous, she looks much better than the last time she was in my office. And Chuck Bartowski is clearly more confident, he is better dressed wearing a brown sport coat with blue jeans. I notice Sarah's attire is basically as I remembered.

"How have you been?" I look from one to the other.

Chuck looks at Sarah and then answers for both. "We've been good. Ah, look Doc, Sarah is very nervous about this. Can we skip the formalities and get right to it? It's not like we haven't done this before."

I look at Sarah to make sure that that is really what she wants. It is obvious that it is. "Agent Walker, of course I have read your mission files so I have a good idea of the topics we are to cover. Do you have a preference?"

"Dr. Carson, I need to discuss two separate issues tonight, both of which are not part of my past mission files."

I notice that she is playing with something in her hands. I can't quite make out what it is but I can see that she is about ready to crack from stress. "By all means Agent Walker, what would like to discuss first?"

"Please, call me Sarah," she said quietly.

I nod my head in agreement and notice that Chuck smiles with her statement. It is easy to see that he is very happy about her leaving the CIA. "OK, Sarah what's first?"

"Chuck, what I need to tell you is not easy for me. It's not easy because I'm sure it will hurt you. I would have liked to have told you sooner but it was a gray area to me whether it fell under the CIA mandate for my retirement. I thought it was best to play it safe." She looks at him and then quickly back to her hands.

"Sarah, whatever it is, we'll deal with it. Now calm down."

She did not look up. "Do you remember when you were being transferred to the secure bunker because Fulcrum had discovered where you worked?"

"Yes."

"Remember the talk we had right before Longshore was killed?"

"Yes."

"Chuck that talk scared me to death. And then after that we get back to your apartment and you invite me inside for Ellie's engagement…knowing it was for family only. I was so confused and upset. I knew I was falling for you. I knew that if anyone found out that you would be put into a bunker and I would be reassigned never to see you again. And… a part of me didn't want to fall for a regular guy like you. Bryce was always my ideal of a man, dashing, able to fight and shoot with the best of them. I always thought that I would marry someone like that." She finally looked up.

I saw her wince from the pained look on Chuck's face.

"Sarah-"

"Let me finish Chuck, this is important. I needed to find out whether I was in love with you or if it was some silly infatuation. I wondered if deep down Casey was right and I developed an attachment to the guy's I worked with." She stopped talking, stole a quick glance at Chuck and then looked at me.

Here it comes, I thought.

"Chuck, that night I contacted Bryce. I knew he was in the area and I was so confused. She stopped. Looked at her hands and then with a deep breath she looked at Chuck with a resolve to meet his stare. "Bryce and I slept together that night."

It was clear that Chuck knew something big had happened but his expression slowly disintegrated to despair. "Sarah, I thought by then we had…something."

"We did. I just didn't know it yet. I thought that sleeping with Bryce would tell me that I wasn't really in love with you but it did just the opposite." She stopped abruptly.

I noticed tears coming down her checks.

"That was the night that I knew for sure that I loved you."

She stopped again and fiddled with the object in her hands. She could not look at Chuck. I saw that she tried once but did not actually make eye contact with him. She seemed to be trying to decide on how much more to say.

"Chuck, you know Bryce was my first love. He was always great in bed."

She clearly had made the decision to come completely clean about this. I saw that Chuck's countenance had clearly changed for the worse.

She looked at him again with shear determination on her face. "We had just begun when I knew. She touched his sleeve and then sobbed once. "I knew the wrong man was making love to me."

Chuck looked out the window. I didn't think he even noticed that Sarah's hand had slid down from his sleeve and was now tightly gripping his hand. "Sarah, I…I mean…I don't know what to say. I never expected." He suddenly looked at her.

I noticed his expression soften somewhat as he saw how vulnerable she was.

"I am not going to lie to you. Does this hurt? He shook his head up and down before he answered. "Very much, but we'll get through this. OK."

"Chuck, you need process what Sarah has just shared with you. I noticed you saw how pained she was and you immediately thought to comfort her. I don't want you to forget that you may need to explore how this makes YOU feel. Sarah is a big girl. She's made the hard decision to tell you something that she could have easy kept from you. That should tell you that she wants an open and honest relationship. But you need to discover your feelings and discuss them. Don't let this fester over time." I watch him closely to gage his reaction.

"Dr. Carson, Sarah and I will talk about this... Yeah, I'm hurt." He looked outside the window. Without looking he put his arm around her shoulder. "It'll take more than this to get rid of me." He looked back to her with a sad smile on his face.

Sarah buried her head on his shoulder and wept quietly.

"Let's take five minutes before we continue."

X-X

I watch Sarah and Chuck come back in and sit down. She is sitting very close to him. The relief on her face is dramatic. Chuck on the other hand is somewhat distracted.

"OK, what I would like to do is continue this discussion next week after Chuck has a little time to think about what happened and how that has affected him. We only have about fifteen minutes left. Is that enough time for your other topic Sarah?"

"More than enough. This is not as serious." She turned to face her fiancé. "I have a friend. Someone you don't know about because she works for the CIA as well. But we are best friends and since she is coming to visit us day after tomorrow, I thought I should let you know." Sarah smiled at him happy to share something new about her old life with him.

"You have a best friend? What's her name?"

"Emily… Emily Stevens. We met during basic training. We've been friends ever since."

"Is she an agent?" Chuck asked.

Sarah looked at me. "He's been given full access," I reply.

"Yes, she works primarily international. I don't get to see her as much as I like. She has some time off between assignments and would like to spend a week with us. Is that OK?"

"OK, are you kidding? I get to meet a true friend of yours. I can't wait."

Clearly this news has raised Chuck's spirits. I'm glad. I tell them that time is up and watch them leave. As I suspected, the tables had turned somewhat. Sarah was much improved over when she came in. Chuck on the other hand, seemed to carry a little more weight on his shoulders. I knew that next week we would need to discuss the Bryce affair in more detail and from Chuck's perspective. But watching them leave, I knew and could actually sense a strength between them, a strength I knew would be tested in the coming sessions.

Janie, schedule Sarah Walker and Chuck Bartowski again this time next week please. Thanks.

A/N Hope you like it. I think the concept is good. I just hope I have the chops to make it interesting while keeping it fresh.