-1Hey. This is a sad story. I'm warning that you that this has a major character death. Will be at least two chapters long, so please do review and tell me what you think. (Meredith's POV)

Disclaimer: I own nothing, no Greys, No Patrick, no nothing. No chasing cars sadly. I AM IN TOTAL SUPPORT OF THE WRITERS IN AMERICA!!! Please enjoy and don't kill me.

I'm lying on the bathroom floor, a place she had found herself only two days ago. Now she's dead. Izzie is Dead…the one person who was able to make me smile when everyone else couldn't. Now she's dead and all I have is the thought that she's with Denny. The ceiling. Something I've never really taken much time to think about. When I do I think of my mothers blood from where Thatcher hit her, the blood splattering on the ceiling. It's something I never thought about until now. Two people's lives fell apart in this bathroom. My Mothers and Izzie's. My mother had to get on with it…plus she had Richard, helping her through the rough times. Izzie…she had no one. The one man she loved was dead. And now so was she. Her body must have been in the water for hours. I left for work and she was just getting in. Alex still hasn't spoken since he found her. Three cuts on each arm. that's all it took for her life to end. Alex won't be the same. I can tell from the look in his eyes that he's dead like her. He's breathing but he's dead. Dead like Izzie…Izzie's really dead.

I wonder if she was in pain. The endorphins in her body would have stopped the pain from her arms but in her head…I wonder if she felt half as bad as I do. Or if I feel half as bad as she did. Somehow I doubt I feel anything. I know if I think about the fact she'll never make anymore cupcakes. That I'll never come home from the hospital to find world war three took place between Izzie and a bag of flour. She'll never do that again…but I just can't imagine it.

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I'm expecting someone to check on me. I've been in here for what feels like days. I know it's been hours but inside me it's been days. I wish I had listened when I lifted her off the floor. I didn't. I just lay next to her thinking that she would just get over Denny's death. Yeah she had quit but I never thought she would…that she would give up the fight. Izzie had fought for Denny and I hoped she would keep fighting for herself but it was too much.

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

Derek hasn't said two words to me. I know he's sitting on the floor outside, waiting for me to start sobbing uncontrollably. Then he can do what he knows how. Hold me and tell me that everything will be ok. It won't be ok. Nothing will ever be the same. He doesn't know what to say to me or how to deal with the silent but broken me. I usually scream or shout at him. But I've said nothing, only with Izzie in my head. She's telling me it was for the best but I know it wasn't. she wanted to be with Denny and none of us could understand it and now…now we've all lost one of the most precious things we ever had. A true friend.

The door opens and closes. I don't look, knowing from the smell of them that it's Derek. He lies next to me, not saying anything. In a way I'm glad of the silence…but I want to hear Izzie; laughing, dancing, joking with George. But there's nothing but silence. He's listening to my breathing, checking that I won't start to hyperventilate. He knows how to handle that. Give me a hand to hold and a paper bag and I'm fine. Being cold and silent, that's something he doesn't know how to cope with. I want to talk but I have nothing to say. My friend killed herself in my bath. that's it. That's all I can say and he knows it. He told me. He came and got me. This wasn't supposed to happen. I wasn't supposed to loose Izzie. She was the one keeping most of us sane but now…now everyone is trying to breath. I hitch a breath, Derek looking at me with a sense of fright.

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

I close my eyes, the tears slipping down my already red face. He doesn't wipe them away, he doesn't try and tell me to stop crying. He takes my hand. Pure and simply takes my hand. I latch onto him like there is nothing else in the world that I want. At this point in time there's nothing else I want expect to know that he's here.

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

'Bed' I nod once and stand to my feet but he lifts me up, carrying me into a cold bed. I stay curled up, like a foetus trying to hide from the world. He turns to leave, go to the kitchen. I grab his arm and let my hand slip down into his. He climbs in behind me in the bed and I finally start to let go. He's lying next to me and I can feel his body physically move with mine as I tremble and shake. The sobs are loud but I can't care anymore what other people think or need. I need him here and he is. He's holding onto me tightly, like he never wants to let me go in case I break into a thousand pieces. I fear…if he does…that I will.

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?