Title: Daddy Needs to Get Laid

Author: Arawna

Disclaimer: Anything relating to the Harry Potter world does not belong to me.

A/N: This is a fic response to the Sinlge Father Challenge by koolanimefreek on thesilversnitch, so technically, the idea of the plot doesn't even belong to me. But nonetheless, it is halfway decent, and I hope you like it.

Platform Nine and Three Quarters:

"You sure you'll be okay?" Draco asked for the millionth time that morning as they stood amongst the many other parents saying good-bye to their own children on Platform 9 ¾. He didn't think even his own parents felt the same anxiety he felt at that moment, counting down the seconds 'til he would have to say farewell to his daughters for the first time in their lives.

Twin pairs of arctic-gray eyes rolled in a mirrored fashion.

"Gods, father, you need to get laid," one girl said in an exasperated tone.

"Isabella!" Draco scolded. "I don't see how that has any relevance here! Not to mention that was too vulgar for a young lady of eleven to say, especially for a Malfoy!"

She 'harrumphed' and crossed her arms, not even caring that a lock of white-blonde hair fell across her face. It was a shock to Draco that the girls had inherited his delicate features, from the soft, pale skin, to the silver eyes, because their mother was a Beauxbaton girl from France with olive skin and dark hair. He hadn't particularly thought she was attractive, but her family was pureblood and it was his father that had originally arranged the marriage, so he had no choice in the matter. However, the midnight black hair and bright green eyes made it easier for him to copulate the marriage and create the two beautiful girls in front of him.

"You can't blame her, daddy," the other girl spoke up. "You haven't been in a relationship since mother died and that's been…how old are we? Oh, eleven years. Do us a favor and find a…boyfriend."

"Gabriella!" he scolded the other twin. "I will not tolerate your childishness."

"You can't blame her, father," Isabella mimicked her sister's words. "We know about the-" she began to tick items off on her fingers. "Magazines. Muggle videos, and the television and VCR for that matter. Your shopping sprees are worse than most women's; you shouldn't pay that much attention to thread count when you have a Y chromosome. You spend longer in the bathroom getting ready than Alex's mom does; and she has to look good because she works at the Ministry. You don't; you do it purely out of wanting to look good. Face it, father, you're gay."

Well, Draco knew he was gay, he knew for a long time, but he wanted to wait 'til the girls were older before they found out.

"Merlin," he sighed, shaking his head. "If you two don't get into Slytherin, then it just means that you are too evil for this world."

Both girls looked giddy at this piece of news. "Does this mean we can take over the world?"

"No!" Draco exclaimed through a laugh. "We don't need any more Voldemorts on our hands."

"But we wouldn't be like him, daddy," Gabriella explained. "We would merely force everyone into slavery. No one would die. Promise."

The girls started pouting here, jutting out identical, full bottom lips and fluttering matching silver eyelashes. They chorused, "Please."

"No," he said sternly. "And that's the last that I want to hear about it."

"Fine," the twins sighed in unison.

With the conversation abruptly stopped and his nerves not quite so on-edge, Draco glanced around the crowd of parents and children. Almost at once, he spotted a blur of tell-tale red accompanied by a bushy haired head and a black haired head.

"Ugh, Potter and his cronies," he sneered, adverting his eyes.

Isabella and Gabriella shared an almost knowing glance and a roll of the eyes before fixing their father with a hard stare.

"What?" he asked.

"You like him," the said in unison.

"Who?"

"Harry Potter."

"I do not!" their father exclaimed.

"All the lead men in the videos have dark hair and/or green eyes and all the doggy eared pages in the magazines are of men with the same features." Isabella told her father, smirking. As if he didn't already know that. "Amazing how a man with the very same eyes and hair is standing right over there, and you just so happened to go to Hogwarts with him. That's an interesting piece of information, isn't it Gabi?"

"Yes it is, Izzi," Gabriella answered, her own smirk mirroring her sister's.

"Oh Merlin," Draco sighed, placing his hands on his hips in a very effeminate way and looking out over the crowd once again. "I am raising evil incarnate. There's no other way to explain it."

The girls were about to fire off another keen observation, no doubt, when a squeal and flung arms engulfed Draco.

"Draco! How have you been?" the woman shrieked before pulling back to eye the girls. "And how are you two. Gods, I haven't seen you since you were little; my, you two have grown into beautiful young ladies!"

"Thank you, Aunt Pansy," they chimed.

"Heath, get over here and say hi to Draco, Izzi, and Gabi," Pansy said over her shoulder. A boy of eleven with dark hair and darker eyes stepped out from behind Pansy's robes, offering a silent hello to the trio.

"And how you've grown into a fine young man, Heath," Draco praised. "With time, you may be able to marry one of my girls."

Three noses wrinkled in disgust at the thought. The two parents laughed at the children.

"And how's Theodore?" Draco asked.

"Oh, he's fine," Pansy answered. "He's still working at the Ministry and all that." She placed a hand on Draco's upper arm. "What about you, meet anyone lately?"

His eyes shifted and he quickly became fascinated with the hem of his sleeve.

"It's been eleven years, and he still hasn't gotten laid," Isabella offered with another roll of her silver eyes.

"ISABELLA!" Draco scolded. Pansy tried unsuccessfully to hide her giggles behind one hand as her son stared at the girl in horror and clutched at his mother's robes.

The scolded girl turned to her sister. "I tell the truth and get yelled at. What incentive is there for me to not lie?"

Gabriella shrugged her shoulders. "It'll make you fell better?"

"Definitely not," Isabella answered, shaking her head.

Draco might had further reprimanded the girls, but a whistle blew somewhere over head, signaling five minutes left 'til departure.

"Well, I guess you three should go find seats," Draco sighed. He placed a kiss on each platinum head and hugged both girls. "I'll miss you two."

"So will we," they chorused, each adding their 'father' or 'daddy' at the end.

The girls and Pansy's son turned and made their way toward the train.

"Izzi, Gabi," Draco called after them. "Don't sit with anyone with red hair and freckles!"

Pansy snickered beside him and the girls waved over their shoulders, acknowledging that they heard him.

"Yeah, that would be just like you, Malfoy, to start rivalries before they even met," a voice came from behind him.

Pansy and Draco turned to confront the entire Weasley clan plus Potter and Granger. Well, it wasn't the entire Weasley clan, since they'd had their own losses when Voldemort was defeated almost thirteen years ago.

"I don't recall him telling the girls to hex the daylights out of the mini-Weasleys," Pansy bit back. "He simply told them not to sit next to them." She looked the closest ginger - who just so happened to be Ronald - up and down. "I should have told Heath the same."

"Why you," Potter seethed, stepping forward. Instantly, Granger's hand shot out to restrain him.

"Harry, don't. Are you willing to jeopardize your job over some meaningless altercation in the middle of the platform?" Granger asked, tightening her grip on his arm.

"No," he answered, still glaring daggers at the ex-Slytherins.

"Okay then, let's just keep moving," she continued. "Or you'll be late."

With that, the group walked away. Draco stared after them, misery shadowing his eyes.

"You still love him, don't you?" Pansy asked without taking her eyes from the group.

He shrugged. "Doesn't matter, he obviously still hates me."

Silently, Pansy pulled him into a comforting hug, smoothing his hair in a calming way. His arms hung around her waist, more for support than to return the hug. They stood this way for a good many minutes while the rest of the platform slowly emptied. Finally, Draco pushed himself away, offering Pansy a halfhearted smile.

"The girls found my stash," he said softly, not meeting his friend's eyes.

"You mean..?" Pansy giggled.

Embarrassed, Draco nodded, causing her giggling to evolve into all out laughter.

"You know, if your girls don't end up in Slytherin, then it means they're too evil, and the world as we know it is screwed," Pansy gasped.

"Those were my thoughts exactly," Draco replied.