FFX Interviews: Auron

Disclaimer: Noooooooooooo…I don't own this thinnnnnnnnng…ok?

A/N: Sorry about the LONG delay. I feel like a really horrid person. Almost a year…I should be suffering a lot. Don't worry. I will on the last chapter.

Also, I know that some people were deeply pissed about Seymour's chapter and such…my apologies. I didn't think that people would be this pissed about a guy character who annoys the game plot all the time. I admit that I like Seymour too. Even though we had to fight him a gazillion times in the game, it was pretty fun. I get to watch him suffer again…and again…and again. No really, I think he's one of the best villians I've known besides Sephiroth.

Disclaimer: I once again, don't own FFX, Square-Enix, or Tetsuya Nomura(Character designer of FF7-FFX). I'm too lame for them anyways.

Mirage stands in front of 4 chairs and a sofa.

Mirage: Welcome people and welcome back to another deadly episode of FFX Interview! Thank you for visiting us today for another chapter of chaos. I'm again VERY sorry for the delay. Random crap's been happening. I had to smuggle DDR mats(seriosuly), work at this restaurant, study for the damn finals, and get bossed around by morons.

Audience: - throw a piece of celery -

Mirage: Ew...damn. Excuse me then. Today, we have a special guest—three of them, in fact! Actually, four. Yes, four. I hope if the other's don't mind, their OC will be used for the next interview. Thank you for your efforts. And please, no more OCs. PLEASE?!!

Mirage: I told you in the last chapter to submit an OC. I would like to thank you all for doing that! First, from my good friend, Illusion Sky, Minori!!

Minori: - waves weakly - Uh…hi.

Minori sits on a random chair.

Mirage: Our next OC was submitted by Princess Kaira of Mirana! So, give a big welcome to Kaira!

Kaira walked on the stage and sits on my super-cheap chair.

Mirage: Funny, why do you look like Paine?

Kaira: I'm her younger twin, duh.

Mirage: She has a younger twi-?-I KNEW THAT.

Minori: Really.

Mirage: Yea, really.

According to the thingy, she's a little shy, loves singing, and longs to be able to fly up in the air high enough that no one can reach her…and she's fire elemental. Watch out Mirage...Oh, I just remembered, I need to buy insurance.

Mirage: Thanks for being on this show, Kaira.

Kaira: It's a pleasure.

Minori: Your boring. Give me those! (grabs index cards)

Mirage: Hey, give it back!!!

Minori: Sit, turtle!

Mirage: Nyah! (crosses her arms, sits on the floor)

Minori: Our second OC is from goodwitch08. Her OC's Auron long lost younger sister that Auron hasn't seen in years. Please welcome, Aurona!

Aurona comes out to the stage and sit on another random chair. The one that's not so cheap. According to the index cards, she cusses a lot, has short black hair, is an ex-summoner, and is now a violent doctor. Sounds lovely.

Mirage: Give it back! (reaches for the cards)

Minori: Quiet 'Rage, your being disruptive. Our last OC was submitted by 'frost bite fantasy'. Give a big hand to Kokoro!

Kokoro: Eh, hi.

Kokoro sits on the last chair available.

Mirage: Ok, we should start. Weird. Where's my chair...

Aurona: There's gone.

Mirage: What?! Get me one! (demands to Minori)

Minori: Don't tell us what to do. You're the Turtle.

Mirage: STOP CALLING ME TURTLE!!! (whimpers)

Koroko: Forget you; now let's get this show over with.

Minori: You're the lamest host I've ever known.

Aurona: Ditto.

Kaira: Shame. (shakes head)

Mirage: Damn you people! I'm gonna get coffee and forget that I was shamed.

Minori: Finally!

Mirage: I heard that!!!

Minori: Whatever. Now on with the show.

Pathetic little Mirage flees from the stage, leaving her dignity behind. Well technically, her dignity died long ago.

In the closet where Mirage is now hiding…

Mirage: (mutters) At least I'm safe from Auron. (sips on coffee)

Back to the show…

Aurona: Ok peoples, here's the thing, I'm about to meet the man whom I've haven't seen in 10 years. Now, if any of you tells I'm that I'm his sister, I'm gonna murderize you. Got it? Ok.

Kaira: But...why? Wait, forget I asked.

Koroko: Yes, ma'am.

Minori: Ugh, I can't believe I have to do this. I'll kill 'Rage later. Alright, today, we bring you, the one, and the only (twitch) sexy (twitch) in red, Auron.

Auron, the smexy man in red, calmly enters the stage, and sit comfortably on the sofa. During the brief process of walking and sitting, several fan girls fainted, screamed about his name, and fainted.

Auron: I thought that stalker girl is to be hosting.

Minori: Coffee break.

Auron: I see. And who are you?

Koroko: I'm Koroko, this is Minori, this is Kaira, and this is Aur—

Aurona: Kokoro...

Kokoro: Uhh, she's someone you may or may not know.

Auron: ...I see.

Kaira: Um…these first questions are from 'Princess Kaira of Mirana.' LOL, I stole her name.

Koroko: Just get on with it.

Kaira: Sorry. 'Auron, who do you like better, Lulu or Rikku?'

Auron: Hm. I thought I could leave with my full dignity. But its not gonna happen. Especially after what happened to Seymour.

Aurona: Just shut up and answer the damn question!

- after a brief moment of awkward silence -

Auron: Neither. They're both ugly.

Minori: Really. That's not what this clip says.

Auron: Hmph.

From the closet…

Mirage: What the fuck?! Right when the clips are coming, I have to go to the damn bathroom!!! Curse you coffee! (leaves to the bathroom)

Into the clip…

Tidus and Auron are at Guadosalam for the first time (in the game). This is after you've met Seymour and after you've spoken to either Lulu or Rikku.

Tidus: Hey Auron.

Auron: What now?

Tidus: What would you do if you think a girl is coming on to me?

Auron: How should I know?

Tidus: Because you like Lulu and Rikku.

Auron: Excuse me?

Tidus: I said...

Auron: I know what you said.

Tidus: Uh…

Auron: I hate women. Disgraced to mankind.

Tidus: Say what? Maybe that's because why they are 'women'?

Auron: AND?!

Tidus: What's with the sudden yelling? Look, everyone's looking!!

Auron: LIKE I CARE!

Meanwhile…

Rikku: Wonder what happened now.

Lulu: How much sake has he been drinking now?

Wakka: What in Spira…it's the beginning of the apocalypse. And it's red!

Kimarhi: …(looks away)

Tidus: See?

Auron: I'M NOT GONNA STOP YELLING THOUGH!!! I HATE BOTH OF THEM!!!

Tidus: You know, Auron...it's pretty obvious that it's one of them.

Auron: What the—FINE. Lulu's 'chest' is attractive and Rikku's legs are really nice.

Tidus: But you've never seen Lulu's legs before. Rikku's chest isn't revealing. How can you compare?

Auron: It is in FFX-2.

Tidus: I know, she's looks really hot and sexy—I mean…that's not the point! Don't avoid the question! Who is it?

Auron: I'M NOT TELLING!!!

Tidus: Not again. Sigh…I give up. (walks off)

Auron: …I hope no one heard any of that.

A few yards away…

Lulu: …Oh my.

Rikku: …Just…EW. (shivers, covers chest)

Wakka: Iiiiiiiiiii...didn't hear any of that.

Kimarhi: … (looks away)

End clip…

Aurona: Ok..what was the point of that?

Kairi: Who's knows, Mirage's clips are useless.

Koroko: We're just going to have to force it out of him.

Kairi: I'm on it. - grabs sake -

Aurona: Alright fanbitches, this sake jug is going to be sold for 7000Gils.

- 'fanbitches' scream, dramatically reaching out for the jug -

Auron: No! Are you nuts?!

Aurona: (glares) Excuse me?

Auron: Fine, I'll answer, Lulu, ok?!

Kokoro: Liar.

Kaira: No need to be ashamed of the truth.

Auron: IT IS THE TRUTH. Can I have it back now?

Aurona: Whatever. (tosses it back)

- fangirls moan in disappointment -

Minori: Ok, next up, the next 15 questions are from goodwitch08.

Auron: 15...that's a lot...

Aurona: No complaining!

Minori: …ok…um…damn it, I lost my place. (searches at the index cards)

Koroko: Let me see those. (grabs the cards)

Meanwhile…

Mirage: Dammit! I missed the first clip! Oh well. I recorded it anyways. (sips on coffee)

Back to where things actually matter…

Koroko: Do you secretly do ballet when no one's watching?

Auron: What?

Aurona: Yes, he does. Ever since he was little.

Auron: What? How do you know of this madness?

Aurona: (glares)

Auron: Uh…next.

Kokoro: Why do you look so old if you're like in your twenties or thirties?

Auron: Asking questions like those are rude.

Aurona: Not answering is rude.

Kaira: Just answer.

Auron: I don't know. Ask my manager.

Kaira: Sounds familiar. (coughs Seymour)

Kokoro: "I hear that you are secretly in love with Rikku, but her father threatened to cut of your…ehem…yea...if you did anything with her."

Auron: Yes, in fact, that's so tru—I MEAN, WHERE DID YOU HEAR OF SUCH THING?!

Kokoro: Sounds like a lovely and pleasant thing.

Aurona: (rolls eyes) Next question, now.

Kokoro: "Is it true that once you went temporarily blind from catching two 'particular' other men characters doing SOMETHING?"

Auron: Not that I know of.

Aurona: Heh. I wonder if Mirage has a clip for this.

From the closet…

Mirage: Yea I so do. Now, did I leave it in my pocke—aw crap, now I got coffee all over my shirt…

Where that loser isn't whining about coffee…

Minori: Something that makes you temporarily blind... Sounds pretty bad.

Auron: You think? I swear, Jecht and Braska can be the sickest people you met…

Kaira: It's ok, details aren't necessary.

Auron: Mirage better be watching. I would be nice if she when blind for once.

The swarming pyreflies surrounded Auron. He waved his hands, several girls fainted, and an image displayed within the glowing lights…

Auron: Jecht? What in Spira's name are you doing?

Jecht: It's called gambling…wanna try it?

Auron: N-no…but just curious, how does it work?

Jecht: Simple, you play a game, and then you bet something on it. Whoever loses pays the consequences and whoever wins doesn't.

Auron: Sounds nice. So how exactly did this apply to what the summonor's doing? (points to drunken Braska)

Jecht: Well…we were betting. Either he drinks your sake, or I do.

Auron: …What?

Jecht: Ehem. Maybe you didn't hear me right. I said, it's either he drinks your sake or I do.

Auron: …What?

Jecht: I SAID, IT'S EITHER HE DRINKS YOUR SAKE OR I DO, YOU DEAF VINCENT-WANNABE!!!! Got it?

Auron: …I got it the first time… (eye twitches)

Jecht: Alright, cool. Now, you wanna try it?

Auron: Yes. It's either you stop Braska from drinking the last drop of that jug, or I'll beat the shit out of you.

Braska: That was...the Spira? No more? Oh well. HEY, JECHT, LET'S PLAY STRIP POKER YOU SPOKEN OF.

Jecht: Yea, ok.

- few disturbing moments later -

Auron is tied to the palm tree. Braska is half nude...and well...Jecht...he...

Braska: Look the other way if you want Auron.

Auron: (looks towards the sunset) OH DEAR SPIRA!!!! MY EYES!!!!

Clip ends.

Closet, blah blah blah…

Mirage: What the—I just came back from the laundry and he just had to show his own 'clip' didn't he? What a moron. Nothing can make me go blind except for that one time when I witnessed that one yoai moment. That was horrible. Man, I need to stop talking to myself…

Studio...thing.

Minori: I'm confused now.

Aurona: That didn't answer anything either…

Kokoro: That was pointless.

Kaira: Actually, do we need to know anything more then that?

Minori, Aurona, Kokoro: You got a point.

Kokoro: Moving on. 'What's with the whole

arm in the sleeve thing?''

Auron: Look me up in wikipedia.

Kaira: And so we shall.

Minori: Let's see…Mirage's laptop…where would she hide it?

Aurona: Wtf? Hides her own laptop? Hmph.

Broom closet…

Mirage: HECK YEA, I HIDE MY OWN LAPTOP AND I'M PROUD OF IT!!!

Interview…

Kokoro: Oh, I found her laptop.

Minori: Where was it?

Kokoro: Under the chair.

Aurona: Moron.

Auron: Give me her laptop.

Kaira: Why?

Auron: I'm going to set a virus.

Minori: Forget it! We need to look the crap up!!

Kokoro: "Auron's character design calls to mind the quintessential "wandering ronin"; he bears more than a passing resemblance to the "Sanjuro" character played by actor Toshiro Mifune in the film Yojimbo. Both allow one sleeve to dangle empty while concealing the arm inside their robe, a ronin characteristic referring to the loss of a master (the symbolic loss of the sword arm)."

Minori: Ok, you can set a virus in there now.

Auron: Thanks.

Kokoro: Makes sense. Next one..."Are you drunk?"

Auron: DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DRUNK?

Kokoro: "Will you wear your lovely black hair down for me? PWEASE?"

Auron: Come back 10 years ago, kid.

Minori: How rude of you.

Auron: I know.

Kokoro: Why IS Seymour so scared of you?

Auron: Because he knnws that one day, I'll kick his sorry ass for almost revealing the truth about my death in the middle of the damn story. I MEAN, LOOK, BECAUSE OF HIM, TIDUS SNIFFED ME.

Kaira: That sounded...way too wrong.

Minori: I guess...that's a good reason?

Aurona: That's a retarded reason.

Auron: YOU WANNA SAY THAT TO MY FACE?

Aurona: Yea, anytime pun--

Kokoro: ALRIGHT..."Spell Vincent Valentine."

Auron: Make me.

Aurona: (grabs sake jar) WHO WANTS IT?

- Fangirls scream, faint, the usual.. -

Auron: FINE. V-I-N-S-I-N-T-V-A-L-E-N-T-I-N-E.

Kaira: Not even close.

Minori: And here...we have revealed Auron's stupidity!!!

Aurona: At least he tried. (tosses the jar back. Fangirls do their stuff)

Kokoro: Close enough. "Why don't any of you guys have last names?"

Auron: If you think about it, do we need one?

Kokoro: "I heard that once you were singing a Britney Sprears song and doing the dances and Kimahri caught you doing this. Is this true?"

Auron: I was drun--I MEAN. NO, WHERE HAVE YOU HEARD OF THIS NONSENSE?

Besaid...

Yuna: Kimahri, is this true?

Kimahri: - silent nod -

Studio...

Kokoro: "How DID you climb up Mt. Gagazet half dead?"

Auron: Braska's promise is what kept me going. That's all I need to move on.

Kokoro: I see, I see.."Where did Yunalesca strike you to make you die? And what's with the one eye thing?"

Auron: Where...It's hard to say. I was charging--

Aurona: Like an idiot.

Auron: Like an id--SHUT UP. Anyways, I did so, and then before I knew she kicked me in the crotch, and there we go.

Kaira: You can die from that?

Minori: I'm guessing that's the case.

Auron: And when she did, she knocked the sword out of my hand and the blade came in contact with my eyelid. It's not pleasant.

Kokoro: Ouch..umm.."Have you been called cyclops?"

Auron: Not that I know of.

Aurona: 'Not that you KNOW of.'

Auron: Yes.

Minori: Oh, I think Mirage did that once.

Auron: Say wha--

Kokoro: LAST QUESTION. Oh, speaking of the devil. "What do you think of Mirage?"

Auron: I think she should die. I think she's pathetic. I think she's a whore and slut who needs to stop stalking people and get a life.

Closet...

Mirage: Oh wow, I love you too, you retarded Cyclops. (sips on coffee)

Studio...

Kokoro: Here...Aur--I mean...uh...you read the next set.

Aurona: Ok then..the next...13...questions...are from 'dark and light samurai'.

Auron: Bring it.

Aurona: First off..."Where'd you get your clothes from? They are so cool!" Cool? I think they're gay.

Auron: They're not gay. And, obivously, there's one place where you can get the awesomest clothes from. EBAY!

Kaira: Of course.

Aurona: Cheapskate. Hmm...What would you think of being transported to Earth and have to become a teacher at a secondary/high school? Which subject would you like to teach and would you like to teach English?

Auron: High school, perhaps. You can whack people and not get fired for it. English... maybe...but I think History suits me more.

Minori: Good point.

Aurona: "Where were you in between getting transported be Sin in Zanarkand up till Luca?"

Auron: I landed in Besaid. Not bad. If I ended up in Calm Lands or something... Anyways, and from there, Mirage found me. Poked me with a stick in fact. Thought I was dead. She told me that she can take me to the "brat", if I helped her with something. She stole my sake too.

Aurona: Uhuh..."What happened to your parents?"

Auron: Don't know. Heard that they were attacked by Sin. Other rumors is that they died protecting my sister from fiends. Sister blamed herself for their death, and therefore committed suicide.

Aurona: I'M NOT THAT PATHETIC.

Auron: What?

Aurona: I mean..uh..."Can I borrow your Katana or Masamune Sword?"

Auron: In your dreams.

Aurona: Faggot. "Do you like scaring Seymour?"

Auron: You know it. Say, if Seymour's watching this, and he probably is... BOO.

Guadosalem...

Tromell: Lord Seymour? Where'd he go? I could've sworn he was right here.

Seymour quivers behind Tromell in fear.

Tromell: Milord?

Seymour: SHH. I don't want him to hear me...

Studio...

Aurona: "Why are you so much of a pervert in this interview fanfic?"

Auron: Ask Mirage. She's ruined me.

Aurona: "Can I have a date with you?" Ew..

Auron: Sorry. Another day, kid.

Aurona: Player. "Would you be able to turn back to your younger coughsexiercough 25 year old self? Cause other unsent don't seem to age really."

Auron: True. And yea, I would. But in the story, they made my sexier younger self look like a lego.

Kaira: Did he just say 'sexy'?

Kokoro: Haha, legos.

Minori: Legos existed back then?

Aurona: "How'd you learn your cool overdrives?" More like gay.

Auron: Secrets. Some are meant to be kept secret.

Aurona: Answer the question.

Auron: I just did!

Aurona: Screw you. "Why are you being a cameralackey to Mirage? Can't you stand up to her and ignore the sake bribes? Aren't there better things then sake?"

Auron: First of all...Why? She promised to lead me to that retarded crybaby. And she had my sake. Standing up to her, is like throwing away something you love most. And in this case, it's not that retarded crybaby. It's the sake. And no, nothing's better then a beverage that can take your problems away.

Aurona: ...ok...What do you think of your role in the game?

Auron: Better then being a crybaby, a widow, a homosexual maniac, a foolish girl, someone who uses coconut juice for their hair, etc etc. So, I like my role.

Aurona: Last one..."Why did you slightly change your hairstyle from what it was in when you were 25?"

Auron: No clue.

Aurona: Answer it. Now.

Auron: No.

Aurona: NOW.

Auron: Ok fine, my hair was getting in the way. Even Rin told me that he couldn't my eyes.

Aurona: ...Mhmm...Ok, Minori...wait no...GET MIRAGE OUT HERE. NOW.

Closet...

Mirage: Oh...shit. Gotta ditch the coffee...and call the freaking insurance company...

Studio...

Minori: I'll get her.

Five seconds later, Minori drags Mirage by her ear out to the stage.

Mirage: Minooo...what's your problem? I didn't even dial 800 yet..

Minori: 'Rage, you're taking over.

Mirage: Aww...(sees Auron) Auron.

Auron: Mirage.

Mirage: Fag.

Auron: Whore.

Mirage: Let's get the last of the questions over with then.

Auron: Hmph.

Kokoro: It's like the world just stopped just now.

Kaira: Freaky.

Aurona: This should be entertaining.

Minori: Let's pray that no one get hurt.

Aurona: Like that's going to happen.

Mirage: Next set of questions are from 'Mega Mario'. "Where the heck were you beteween Zanarkand at the beginning of the game and when you joined the party in Luca?"

Auron: I think I have already answered this one. As I said before, I was being a slave for this whore here.

Mirage: Fag.

Auron: Whore.

Mirage: Fag.

Kokoro: WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP?!

Mirage, Auron: Yes, ma'am.

Mirage: "What's with the whole sleeve thing?"

Auron: Already have been answered.

Mirage: Why does Mirage force you to be a cameraman?

Auron: Ask Mirage.

Mirage: I am Mirage, fag. Ok, the reason why...is because Tidus couldn't go, since he had his own story to lead, Yuna couldn't go because she had her own goals, not Lulu because she's cool like that, and not Wakka because his hair would be...kinda visible when we're SPYING and not STALKING people. Kimahri's already devoted to something.Rikku seemed busy too, Seymour...well...yea... Wantz would've been good but he's obsessed with Yuna, O'aka could've been good too, but not with his accent. So, the remaining was Auron.

Auron: Sadly.

Mirage: Next..."Why do you keep zooming in on Lulu's...yea."

Auron: Well...first off...it's out there. Might as well take the chance you have.

Mirage: There's a lot we don't know about this fag.

Auron: HOT fag.

Mirage: Whatever. "If you want sake so bad, why not take a drink from that canteen around your waist. Or is it really not filled with sake as the rumors say?"

Auron: Well...Braska drank the last of it on the previous pilgrimmage..

Mirage: So an empty canteen is so important to you, that you had to work as my slave?

Auron: ...Yea. You need something to hold sake in just in case you come across one one day.

Mirage: Oh, really? Then what is it that you spit out when you perform Shooting Star?

Auron: Water.

Mirage: I see...ok, next..."Why do you drink from the before mentioned canteen right before you preform you Shootng Star overdrive?"

Auron: It helps.

Mirage: "Where did you get that scar over your eye?"

Auron: That bitch, Yunalesca.

Mirage: "One of Lulu's moogles is behind you."

Auron opened his good eye wide, and then passed out. The fangirls shrieked, scream, fainted for the 4th time probably by now.

Mirage: Are her dolls that scary?

Aurona: Seems that way.

Kaira: Auron looks so handsome when he's sleeping like that...

Minori: What now?

Kokoro: Guess we wait.

Five minutes later...

Auron: Praise be to Yevon...I'm alive...

Mirage: You mean dead.

Auron: Damn...I wish I was.

Mirage: Sigh, almost done with this. Pull yourself together Auron. 'Aikido-Kasshin-Ryu' asks..."Have you ever got in a bar fight?"

Auron: Yes. Some asshole stole my sake. (glares at Mirage)

Mirage: Ehem...

Auron: And another time during Braska's pilgrimmage was when I was trying to make my own sake from fermented rice in the storage room. And some retard snuck a grape in there. Who wants sake that has a bit of wine in there? And so I beat up that so-called retard, and then the rest of the damn people decided to jump me.

Mirage: Wonder how that's like. From 'memyselfisesshy93', "How come you get the big-ass swords and Tidus doesn't when he's the main character? And I'm not a Tidus fangirl."

Auron: Eh, I tried to give him one. He tried it, he couldn't lift it. Nothing wrong with being a Tidus fangirl, really. It could've been worse.

Mirage: From 'memyselfisesshy93's' brother..."How come when you get in a battle you strip?"

Auron: What? I strip?

Mirage: Uh...yea? And it's pretty damn disturbing when you do so too.

Auron: Nothing wrong with showing your sexy-self, right? Gotta look sexy in front of the fangirls. (takes off one of the sleeves, revealing his 'sexy' arm.)

Fangirls faint, scream, etc etc.

Mirage: Huh...that's the last of it.

Auron: YES!!! I'M FREE!!

Mirage: Now for the phone calls...

Auron: Ahh..Damn.

Caller 1...

Mirage: Caller number one, your on...

Tidus: YOU RETARD. WHAT KIND OF MORON NEGLECTS THE MAIN CHARACTER JUST BECAUSE THAT STALKER GIRL BRIBES YOU WITH SAKE? WHAT KIND OF GUARDIAN CALLS THE MAIN CHARACTER A CRYBABY? AND JUST BECAUSE I CAN'T LIFT YOUR SWORD DOESN'T MAKE ME A CRYBABY? I MEAN...WHAT THE HELL? WHAT'S IT MADE OF? BRICKS? WHAT, DO YOU TAKE STERIODS OR SOMETHING? HEY, DON'T IGNORE ME YOU FAG, I'M GLAD THAT RETARD SNUCK A GRAPE IN YOUR SAKE. YOU DESERVED IT. ONE OF THESE DAYS AURON...ONE OF THESE DAYS.

Auron: Crybaby.

Tidus: YOU MAKE ME CRY! (sobs)

2nd caller...

Rikku: I have a bone to pick with you, you big meanie!!

Auron: Not again...

Wakka: You on the phone again Rikku? Who you talkin' to?

Rikku: Auron.

Wakka: SIR AURON?!!! Give me the phone.

Rikku: No!

Wakka: Blackmail...

Rikku: Fine, I call the phone after you.

Wakka: Sheesh. Sir Auron?

Auron: ...

Wakka: Umm...Hi?

Auron: Hello to you too, Wakka.

Wakka: (gasp) He said my name!!

Rikku: Alright, hand it over. Thank you, Wakka. Anyways...

Auron: What now?

Rikku: Where was I...oh yes. I HOPE YOU DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH, AURON!!

Auron: I'm already dead.

Rikku: Oh yea, huh?

Lulu: Rikku, who is that?

Rikku: Auron?

Lulu: Is that so?

Rikku: Yea, the fag who picked you over me.

Lulu: I see. Tell him that I'm flattered, but taken.

Rikku: She's flattered, but taken.

Auron: I heard that.

Rikku: And you called both of us ugly too...we're gonna kill you.

Auron: Can you kill the dead?

Rikku: Yunie can.

Auron: Hmph.

Rikku: We have rotting grapes and pink elephants too!

Auron: ...Shit.

Mirage: Did I just hear, 'pink elephants'?

Third call...

Seymour: I'M NOT SCARED OF YOU.

Auron: Oh really.

Seymour: YEA. At least my sexiness pwns yours!!!

Auron: You wanna come over here say that?

Seymour: Right, like I'm going to waste my sexiness to walking over to the studio where that stalker bitch is.

Mirage: Excuse me?

Seymour: And at least I didn't rip my character off Valentine!

Auron: Well at least my clothes aren't RIPPED off.

Mirage: Thank you for calling, hanging up now.

Auron: That was tiring. Being sexy and famous...isn't so easy.

Minori: That was just too long.

Kokoro: Thank you all for reviewing and asking and voting! I hope you do so in the next chapter!

Aurona: Despite the long friggin' holdup. By the way, Auron, I'm your sister,

Auron: What?

Aurona: Nothing.

Auron: Ok.

Kaira: I hope that you enjoyed this chapter, and thank you for submitting your OCs, votes, etc etc...

Minori: Next up, the little whiner, TIDUS!!!

Kokoro: Speaking of Tidus...

Kaira: Oh my...

Tidus, Rikku, and Lulu storms in with rotten grapes and miniature Play-doh figures of pink elephants.

Rikku: THERE HE IS!!! CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!!!

Auron: ...Run!

Lulu sent a rain of moogles at him.

That was when Auron blacked out. The fangirls do their thing. Amazing how they don't even stop the raging trio from throwing random crap at him.

When Auron wakes up...

Mirage: Auron, you smell like rotten grapes.

Auron: UGH...WHAT? WHO THREW GRAPES AT ME?

Rikku: You deserved it. (shrugs)

Tidus: He awake?

Minori: Yea.

Tidus: Oh, in that case...

Aurona: Let ME do that... (grabs pink elephant)

Kaira: WAITWAITWAIT... (waves hands around the elephant, eventually, the elephant catches on fire) Go ahead, Aurona.

Aurona tosses the flaming pink elephant at him. Auron dramatically blocks it, therefore caused the fangirls to faint.

Tidus: Hey, I'm supposed to be doing that.

Aurona: What's stopping you?

Kokoro: Do we get to throw anything?

Kaira: Do we have to?

Minori: Do we care?

Auron: I'm going to kill Mirage...

Mirage: I need to get insurance...

I'm sorry for the delay...I apologize if this chapter wasn't as good as the other ones. A lot of crap happened, and I hope that you'll still be there for this fanfic. It would mean a lot to me. The next three submitted OCs will be used for Tidus' chapter. Thank you very much to Illusion Sky for Minori, Princess Kaira of Mirana for Kaira, final final frost fantasy for Kokoro, Aurona from goodwitch08. Please don't submit anymore, and I'm sorry if I mess up your OCs. It's hard work. Trust me.

Kk, next up, Tidus!!!

Review, ask, vote, the usual!!

- Retarded 'Rage