I don't own Naruto
When the bell rang announcing the last class, the students walked upset towards the classroom. Arriving there, they noticed that the last lunatics, I mean, teachers were already there: a girl with Chinese buns and a brat smile, a freaky long haired guy with white eyes and a murderous glare, and a happy-happy joy-joy guy with a geometric hairstyle and a "fashion scream" green spandex.
"Man, these are as weird as the others…." – a student whispered to another.
"Look at the green thing that guy is wearing!"
The terrifying white eyed boy stared the students and they all sat in their places, waiting for the last torture session. The brat girl started the presentations:
"Hi everybody! The name is Tenten and those are my teammates Hyuuga Neji and Rock Lee! Nice to meet you!"
"Nice to meet you too, Tenten sempai……" – spoke in unison the bored students.
"We are going to teach chakra circulation. Our good friend Neji is specialized in tenketsu and chakra circulation, so he is going to explain all about it to you! Lee, please, fix the chart on the blackboard!"
"Good….friend? To me the Hyuuga seems like a psycho…" – a girl said in a low voice.
"Beware. I can read lips." – Said the menacing Hyuuga boy, glaring to the girl.
"Neji! Don't scare the students." – Tenten warned her good friend.
"I'm not scaring them. It is not my fault that they are failed shinobis and most of them won't survive their first missions."
Some vulnerable students who applied for shinobi life due to their parents' will leave the classroom forever, moved by Neji's ominous declaration. That particular day gave them more than one reason (precisely twelve reasons) to give up.
"Ok! That is it! Turn off the 'caged bird mode', please!" – Tenten twisted Neji's ear as if it were a switch. Neji slapped her hand.
"There! The chart is in place!" – Lee announced.
"Ok. As you can see, this chart shows the human body. Those blue lines are the chakra circulatory system. Neji will explain better."
"Chakra, like blood, flows through a particular system called chakra coils. You can see in the chart that this system covers all the body."
"I can't believe! Finally someone is teaching something useful!" – A student whispered, while taking notes.
"I thought Ramen Culture interesting and less boring…"
"So, although you can't see them, the tenketsu are present in your body" – Neji continued his explanation.
At this point, Tenten was using Lee as a live model to point the tenketsu as Neji explained them.
"…and here, starting from the wrist to the shoulders we have a chakra line, with 20 tenketsu that irrigate your entire arm…."
And Lee stretched his arm (smiling largely) and Tenten (also smiling) pointed the 20 tenketsu Neji talked about. The students made a sound "Ohhhh".
Like this, Team Gai explained all the chakra system of the chest, arms and head. Neji started to explain about legs and feet when a student raised his hand:
"Hyuuga sempai! Why you didn't explain about abdomen tenketsu! I can see them in the chart…"
"Ahn… they are an extension of the chest and a junction with the leg, so we are going to explain it in the end…." – Neji turned to the chart and pointed the ankle to continue his explanation, but Lee interrupted him.
"Neji, my friend, I think we should give a brief explanation about the stomach and belly tenketsu…"
"No."
"Please, Lee sempai, explain us!"
"No, we are going to teach the leg part before!" – Neji said to the students and gave a significant glare to Lee. – "So, talking about the ankle…." – He turned to the chart and continued his speech when….
"EEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!"- Girls scream.
"LEE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? PUT THAT ON!" – Tenten shouted.
Please God, tell me he didn't do what I think he did. Please, I promise I will be nice to Hinata, I will obey every single order from my stupid uncle, and I will treat Naruto better, but PLEASE tell me he didn't do that….
Neji slowly turned to see Tenten's face, which was covered by her hands and red as a tomato. She was still screaming to Lee.
"Put that on!"
"EEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK" – girls were still screaming.
"Haha hahah" – Boys were laughing.
Neji continued to slowly turn his body until his eyes saw Lee's white butt.
He took a deep breath and turned again to the blackboard, grinning furiously. He counted up to 10 and activated his byakugan. For his dismay, Lee's big pasty butt was still there, shinning white glows.
Lee was pointing the chakra coils in his stomach, navel and lower parts, explaining cheerfully their significance to the students. Girls were still covering their eyes (except for a nymphomaniac in the seventh row) and boys were laughing out loud (but some of them were taking notes – don't ask me about what!).
Neji turned again and said in the sweetest way he could use:
"Lee, put your pants on, please."
"Just a second, Neji, I'm showing them the pelvis tenketsu…"
"Lee….last warn….put your pants on…..NOW!"
"…and here, following the ischium we can count….AAAAAAAUUUUCCCCCHHHHH"
Neji kicked Lee's exposed parts. The taijutsu master screamed in pain and covered the injured part with his hands, falling on his knees.
The male students made an "Ouch" face, feeling the kick as if it were on his own parts. The female students and Tenten opened their eyes.
"Neji, that was evil. He is wounded by Gaara's fight and you kick his…" – Tenten came in Lee's aid.
"Well, he is already half crippled; now he will be paralytic." – Neji said in a nonchalant tone.
"Man! What about his dreams? Have you no heart?" – One student said.
"No." – Neji answered. – "Tenten, let's finish this class. Leave Lee on that chair."
Tenten did as Neji order, mumbling. Poor Lee was unconscious.
"Hey, I didn't understand the chest tenketsu! Can the Chinese lady teach us about it?" – A boy said with a mischievous smile.
"Uh…well…Neji can teach better…" – Tenten was a little suspicious about the boy's question.
"No, we want you to show us the breast, I mean, chest tenketsu, lady…."
"Aaaa….Neji….help me…." – the weapon mistress was a bit scared with the perverted eyes on her.
"Ok. So, now I will get some volunteers to show how Juuken works on cutting the chakra circulation and seizing the enemy…." – Neji said with a smirk that would make Morino Ibiki jealous – "what about…you?" – He pointed to the pervert student.
"Oh no! Me? Not I, mister….you….have a…..insane look….somebody….help me!"
Neji came closer to the student and when he was a few inches from his prey, the bell rang.
All students ran from the classroom, some disappeared in smoke, others jumped from the window, and everybody wanted to go away from that Academy and its psychotic substitute teachers.
Team Gai walked away from the Academy to meet the other teams and report to their sensei.