This was written back in Nov 2005. I was about half way through reading Tokyo Babylon at that stage. Can't remember exactly what volume. It's just my take on the inner contemplations of the Sakurazukamori...

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Tokyo Babylon (1992)

One-shot

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The question.

The one that even I am curious about.

Do I really love him?

Well…I'm not sure that's what I'd call it.

I /am/ sadistic bastard, after all.

And I do have a bet to keep.

Perhaps it's just morbid curiosity. To see how someone like that could live. To see what maybe I could have become, once.

Maybe that's why I like him so much – because he's what I'm not. Because he still believes. In innocence and kindness and goodness….

And he'll fight for them, because he believes that others do, too.

He fights this losing battle, even thought the world is full of people who have lost their innocence, people who /aren't/ kind, people who don't /want/ to be good.

People like me.

Maybe that's why I want to taint him.

To take away from him the things I lost long ago.

One really can't help it when looking at Subaru-kun. He's just so innocent; pure, naïve, cute…

Subaru-kun is very cute.

And gentle. Far too gentle in his dealings with others. He nurtures, where I would destroy. He is too gentle to be the head of the legendary Sumeragi clan. I wonder if the clan also sees it that way.

I have no doubts as to how they see me.

If they knew I was associating with the thirteenth head of their clan…

I wonder how long things can go on like this.

It all seems to be a little surreal, really.

I kill people for a living, and he saves them.

Our clans are opposites.

We are sworn enemies, when it comes right down to it.

How much longer will it be before the illusion shatters, and we are enemies once more?

How much longer can we go on, living in a dream?

And how will I feel when it ends?

Will I regret my actions?

A Sakurazukamori learns to eliminate any regret, though.

I will just have to wait and see…

Until the end….