Disclaimer: Not mine. You REALLY think I'd be here if they were? No, I'd be off killing little kids!!! BWAHAHA…

Summary: 'Give me my Romeo; and when he shall die, take him and cut him out in little stars, and he will make the face of heaven do fine all the world will be in love with night and pay no worship to the garish sun.'

- Juliet, 'Romeo Juliet', Shakespeare.

Warnings: Read the ratings. Make up your mind, Don't both flaming.

Authors note: Hello my pretties! How are we all? All good I hope.

Now… the basic basic plot is Shiv's (curse her and her brilliant plot bunnies! All mine does is hump my leg!) but I changed the story line, so don't YELL at me. Okay, you can yell at me, but not too loud, I'm meant to be something called 'studying'. Peh. Studying.

Hermione, Severus and most other characters are very OOC. Don't blame me, they fit better that way. DON'T BLOODY FLAME ME FOR IT!!!

So sit back and read the totally-not-mine-but-kinda-is-don't-yell-at-me-story. Hope you like.

(Now can someone PLEASE help me get this plot bunny off my leg?!)

Chapter 1

BEGINNING: (noun) The time at which something begins, The event consisting of the start of something, The first part or section of something.

'My god, we still have to go these things?' asked Severus, giving Minerva a look.

'Yes, we still have to go to these things. And we have to act properly, set an example, Severus!' barked Minerva, before taking another sip of her tea.

'It's a student talent quest. Emphasis on the word 'student'. No Professors mentioned anywhere in the title.' Stated Severus.

'Obviously you didn't read the small print, Severus. It states that all Hogwarts students, ghosts and STAFF must attend the final performance.' Replied Minerva smugly.

Severus slid into his chair, defeated.

Damn Dumbledore and his stupid ideas. Ever since they had won over the Dark Lord, all he'd done was smile, that annoying twinkle in his eye so permanent it made him look like he had cataracts. And the rest of the staff had gone along with him on his happy road to 'bloody-annoying-ville'. Except one person. A new staff member, by the name of 'Ms Granger'. Yes you heard right. The insufferable no-it-all, Hermione Granger.

Surprisingly, she didn't join Dumbledore and the rest of the formerly (almost) sane professional staff on their quest for the ultimate happiness.

She had remained (almost) sane since the Last Battle. She and Severus seemed to be the only ones.

Severus was interrupted from his thoughts by the entrance of Dumbledore.

'You looked very deep in thought, Severus. Tell me, what was on your mind?' asked Dumbledore. Severus just wished that twinkle would piss off!

'Hermione…' he said, before realising what he'd answered. 'I mean, Hermione's… work! Yes, er, her work has been very satisfactory in my department. Yes, very pleased with it at the moment…' he saved. Oh shit.

He was screwed.

'Mmhmm, I'm glad you think so.' He grinned knowingly.

He was so screwed.

'We still have to go to these things?' asked Hermione.

'Yes. We do. No need to worry, I'm sure it'll be fun, they always are! It's been brilliant since Dumbledore and Harry triumphed over Voldemort, hasn't it?' asked Professor Brown.

'Yes, brilliant…' answered her former classmate. She turned to face the mirror, running the tap and preparing to splash her face. She threw a handful of water at the face, using part of it to calm her wild hair.

'You know, you could have some potential under all this hostility…' said Lavendar thoughtfully, pulling Hermione's hair up into a small bun.

Hermione pulled away, saying 'I'm not hostile. I'm annoyed.'

'What happened to you? Ever since the Last Battle, you've been really… snarky.' Said Lavendar, rustling around in her handbag. She removed a little black case and opened it, revealing a tube of lipgloss, lipstick, blush and mascara.

She started to apply it, giving Hermione a searching look.

'What happened? Do you really need to ask that Lavendar?' she asked her in a disbelieving voice.

Lavendar just sighed, finished putting her make-up on and walked out of the staff bathroom.

Hermione let out a sigh of frustration, resting against the sink.

'Why? Why does everyone have to be so damn HAPPY?!' she said in frustration.

'You can say that again.' Said a silky voice from the doorway.

Hermione jumped at the sudden noise. 'Severus!' she sighed in relief. 'What are you doing here?' she asked.

'On my way to the bathroom.' He indicated to the male toilet door to the left of him. 'I won't ask why you're here.' He smirked, looking to his right, where the female toilet was situated.

Hermione blushed, but then found herself wondering why she was doing so. I mean, what the fuck? Everyone goes to the toilet! WHY am I embarrassed? Get a grip on yourself, Hermione. She mentally slapped herself.

'Anyway… While I have you here, there's something I've been meaning to ask you about your latest report on mind-meddling potions. Before you hand it in to the minister for theory, I think you should check something. If you'll follow me?' he asked, stepping aside to allow her through the door.

'Sure. To your dungeons?' she asked, walking out the door.

This last sentence was greeted by silence in the staff room. Everyone there was giving them knowing grins, as if they knew what had happened.

'Oh god…' Hermione breathed, knowing exactly what her fellow colleagues were thinking… and with SEVERUS? I mean, it's not like he wasn't attractive or anything… Wait a sec, she was having these thoughts about her PROFESSOR? Former professor, a little voice said. Piss off, it's still wrong replied the other.

Severus saved face by asking Hermione 'Well, I know that unicorn blood can save your life, but your theory on it's curse isn't making sense…' He indicated the door that led out into the hallway.

Hermione gratefully accepted this excuse and quickly exited the staff room.

Once they were both out and the door safely closed behind them, they both swore.

'Okay, that was just slightly disturbing.' Hermione said, as they started making their way down to Snape's dungeons.

'Agreed.' Replied Severus.

'What is it with them? They're obsessed with hooking people up together! Lavendar's even beginning to take an interest in some of her STUDENTS love lives!' exclaimed Hermione.

'God, I sympathise with them. I've lost count of the times Ms Brown has played 'match-maker' with us. Won't she give up? I'd do anything to make her stop!' he said frustrated.

Suddenly a thought struck Hermione. 'Anything?' she asked him.

'Yes, ANYTH- wait a sec, I don't like that look on your face…' he narrowed his eyes.

'Well, if you were willing to do anything, I think I might have a proposal for you…' she grinned evilly.

'What might this proposal include?' he asked. Wow, Hermione definitely had changed. Here she was, using uncannily Slytherin-ish cunning.

'Just that. A proposal.' She grinned at his expression.

Hmmm, short, I know, but oh well. I update regularly, so it doesn't really matter.

And chapter two carries on straight from this ending, so make sure you remember her last line.

REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW. (You know you want to).

(Tell me if you like the little definition thing the top. I just thought it would be cool. Woot for cool definitions!)