A/N: Oh my gosh! I was not prepared for the amount of feedback I received on the first chapter the other day! I just want to say thank you so much for reading this story! It's one I have been working for a couple of months, and while I said before that I will be updating once a week. I'm going to try to post at two to three chapters a week since a majority of my work on this fic is editing and adding in some more scenes! This story is going to be told from Jay and Hailey's point of view. So, some chapters will be short and others will be long!

Again...thank you all for reading!

The bright light of Jay's laptop screen greeted him to the background of a photo of him, Bree, and Lilly from Christmas almost three years ago. The laughter still filled his ears from that day on how many times it took them to get the one good photo with the self-timer on his phone. Jay chuckled, shaking his head while running the tip of his fingers over the screen and picture.

"Why did you have to leave us?" He asked with his attention on the spot where Bree was sitting in the photo.

Soft lifts were strung across the tree, blurring out the red and gold ornaments Bree had arranged perfectly along with it. The three random Disney ornaments they had got for Lilly's birthday every year. The three of them were in matching red and white checkered pajama set. Bree had insisted, managed, and bribed Jay to get in a matching pair of pajamas was beyond him, but there he sat beside her with his daughter in his lap. The only thing standing out was the unicorn slippers Lilly had worn and refused to take off for the photos.

"I don't know how you do it?" His voice somber, filled thick with emotion. "How you managed to get Lilly to do anything?"

"I never had all the answers, Jay," Bree whispered, "I never knew what I was doing, I winged it as much as you did."

He could see Bree standing perfectly in front of him. A pair of black jeans that were ripped at the knees, a flowy white shirt that was tucked into the front of her pants, and her signature white high top Converse. The same ones she only wore whenever she was running around town doing errands with Lilly and him. Her auburn hair braided loosely against her left shoulder while Bree crossed her arms. Jay's mom engagement ring resting on her ring finger, and the light hitting the right angle that Jay focused diamonds and how the ring looked upon her hand.

"She eats more peanut butt and jelly sandwiches than I know what to do with," Jay ran his hand through his hair and across his face, "and it's not like I can do much about it."

"I guess that's my fault," Bree's shoulders bounced from a soft chuckle, "you know how strong my pregnancy cravings were." Her skin glowed, and the dimples in her cheeks showed slightly from the smile forming on her face. She shook her head, baby hairs falling out of her braid. "You could always try to bribe her with Skittles for eating green beans."

Jay's mouth fell open, his eyebrows snapped together while he looked at his wife. "Coming from the person that scolds me every time I refuse to eat lima beans-or any vegetable for that matter." His tongue ran along the inside of his cheek while he shook his head.

"And the last time I checked, she was eating them." Bree's eyes narrowed in on Jay, she chewed on the inside of her cheek. "If I remember right, Lilly eats all her veggies when you make a fit about them."

"You saying that I should make big beal about her already picky eating habits?"

Bree's movements were soft. Her chin resting on Jay's shoulder, her arms draped around his chest, and Jay brought his hand and laced his fingers with hers. Bree's lips right next to his ear, her hot breath hot against. "What I'm saying is that if you don't want out daughter to turn into a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, then you need to start making a big deal."

Will's knuckles rapped on the doorframe between the hallway and kitchen, where Jay sat the table. "Who were you talking too?" he asked, watching Jay close his laptop and turn to face him.

Jay was still the same Jay that Will had known his whole life.

He was only more broken now.

"Just the-" Jay glanced around, and his eyes landed on his daughter's stuffed pillow pet on the couch. "The purple pillow pet."

"Right?" Will nodded, grabbed a bottled water, pointing it at him. "Cause that didn't sound like a pillow pet conversation."

"What did it sound like then?"

"That you were talking to Bree- again," Will took a sip, narrowing his gaze at Jay. "Are you still seeing visions of her?"

Jay raised an eyebrow at his older brother, "Are you asking me as a doctor or as my brother- 'cause if it's as a doctor, I'm going to tell you to kindly fuck off."

"And if I'm asking as your brother?"

"Still gonna tell you to fuck off," Jay muttered, pushing himself up from the seat and reaching for his phone.

Jay knew his brother meant well by his questions. At the same time, Will could be a pain in his ass about what happened almost a year ago. The talking to Bree, the seeing her had started to fade about five months ago. It seemed like things were finally starting to go back to how they were before. He was beginning to patch things up, and then it was like within the last two weeks-everything came crashing back down.

It didn't help him that it was almost two months until the first anniversary of Bree's death. She loved the holidays more than anyone Jay had ever met. With the start of October brought Lilly asking about Halloween costumes and Thanksgiving pies and Christmas pajamas for the Christmas cards this year. All the progress he had made in those short months went out the window a couple of weeks ago.

The night his daughter woke up, screaming for Bree and refused to come to him no matter how hard he tried. Her body curled up in the corner of her bed, cramming herself between it and the wall. It took Jay a good twenty minutes to get her to calm down enough for him to take her back to bed with.

The fragile glass room that both he and his daughter were in was already cracked before, and that was the night it broke around them. Tiny shards scattered around them, and Jay knew he and Lilly were walking a thin line of emotions most days. He didn't want to talk about things with his brother or anyone in his unit. Lilly would throw little tantrums over cinnamon applesauce instead of strawberry applesauce. Emotions were riding high in the Halstead house. Jay knew that.

"Where's the troublemaker, anyways?" Will asked, leaning against the kitchen counter.

"Melinda met us at the afterschool program," Jay sighed, swiping open in his phone to his background of Bree and Lilly. "She practically begged for an afternoon with Lilly, I guess, knowing I was getting off early today."

"You're acting like she planned this, Jay."

Jay shifted his attention from his phone to his brother. Tears burning the corner of his eyes and licked his lips. "Kinda funny how Meldina picks today to want to spend time with Lilly when tomorrow is-Saturday."

"They miss their granddaughter; that's all," Will's hand landed on Jay's shoulder, "you haven't spent much time around them since the whole thing."

"You tell Craig I got off early?" Jay's tone carried some annoyance to it. He trusted Will, but how far was his trust willing to go when Will still worked with Bree's dad at Med. Knowing Craig was one of the few people who didn't like Jay after the accident and the feeling was mutual.

"I know you don't like her dad, but you have to believe me, the last thing I want is for Melinda and Craig to come barging in when you aren't ready," Will spoke with a forced smile on his face. "I promise I didn't say anything to Craig Taylor."

Jay stuffed his hand into jean pockets, rocked back on his heel, and forced himself to look at his brother. "I can't have them taking her away, I can't give them any kind of ammo to snatch her from me, and I know that's what Craig is waiting, Will."

"And they won't, I won't let them no matter how hard Craig tries to pull anything over you," Will slapped his brother on the shoulder. "Which is why you're coming to Molly's for at least an hour."

"Will, I'm not going." Jay didn't even have to think twice about it. He knew the answer the minute the words left Will's mouth. He was not going to go out to Molly's, watch people be stupid, and worry about his daughter at home or with Melinda and Craig coming at the moment when he walked through the door. It wasn't going to happen.

Jay really thought that his own brother would know better than to suggest doing something-something that could bring up all the memories that he was trying to repress in his mind again.

"Hear me out," Will's hand were up in the air, "at least show Melinda that you are trying to get back to normal."

"I'm not going, I promised Lilly I would read to her tonight." He stood there, crossing his arms and staring Will down like he used to so many times when he begged his older brother to come home when their mom was sick.

"Listen, Melinda is watching Lilly. Craig is on the night shift, I'll just ask her to bring her back here if we aren't back before then."

Jay's brows bumped together in a scowl, "You did plan this, and maybe I don't wanna go."

"Not a choice," Will laughed, leading his younger brother towards the front door. "You're coming, and everything will not burn to the ground when you come."

"One drink that's it," Jay said, locking up and following his older brother to the elevator. "One drink only."

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know what you think of this chapter!