Memoirs

I decided to write this because many people have asked me about my origins and how I got to where I am now. There's a lot of speculation and rumors out there, so I figured I'd tell the story before fiction got so widespread it'd be impossible to prove wrong. I'll tell it as it is, whether it's believed or not. After a lot of time and effort, I've also taught the people involved to read, write, and type(Those who wanted to, anyway), so their accounts will be in here, too! As my daughter is trying her best to heat a piece of rebar on the hearth to make it turn red, I write this as best as I can remember.

It started very humbly, as most stories do. I was young, healthy, and recently left the house. However, I wasn't in great shape mentally. I had recently gotten out of a bad relationship. On my way out, my ex decided to throw some accusations my way; accusations strong enough to warrant legal action. The battle was very stressful on my whole family and I won't go into detail because they're bad memories that are far behind me. Fortunately, we won, because obviously the bitch was lying. However, the emotional damage had been done and I made a major career choice. I said farewell to my family and joined the forest service to collect myself. Then, I found an opening for the perfect job to it: A fire tower lookout. A few months by myself would be exactly what I needed.

Granted, I wouldn't be totally alone. There'd be other towers nearby. I could bring whatever I could fit on the ATV. Mostly books. Lots of books. I also put a double barrel shotgun in because, while I highly respect .308, I wanted something with more of a guarantee to kill a bear. The baseball bat and some balls were in case I met hikers who wanted to play a game. I heard my tower was near one of the longer trails.

After going through training, I drove to the tower on an ATV. It looked nice and I saw it was elevated ten feet on a large rock formation rather than sixty standing alone. I unpacked, got settled in, and nothing much happened for two weeks. The Wyoming forests were very tranquil.

I wasn't completely alone. There were three other towers in radio contact, two of which I could see with the tripod telescope. First tower was Leonard, who introduced himself as a Texas good ol' boy trying to get away from his "assholes of biological parents". He said he preferred to see the faces of his new friends and stood on the porch of his tower in nothing but his boxers, insisting that I look at him with the telescope. That man was blindlingly white. He was so white in the afternoon sun that he practically glowed. I asked him if he ever tanned and he said he just burned.

Tower number three was a black man by the name of Louis. Pronounced Loo-eese. I took a peek at him with the scope as well. He was like the opposite of Leonard, so black he was purple. Louis said very early on he was also here to get away from a bad breakup with his partner. He consistently used the word "partner." I told him I related.

Tower four remained a mystery. It was a woman who sounded young, but smoked a pack of cigarettes a day. She said the bare minimum for a conversation. That was about it. Again, two weeks went by without event until I had a dream I remember to this day.

It was very vivid. I'd never been this aware before in a dream, but it was entirely black. I was sitting down, but moving very quickly. The experience was like closing your eyes in a rapidly accelerating car. Then, I heard a woman's voice coming from everywhere.

"Sir, we've got another one. Another character."

Then a man's voice: "Great. Isekai character number eight thousand, six hundred and fifty… I wanna say seven?"

"Three."

"Like it matters. I'm sick of humanity churning out power fantasy fapbait stories. It's beyond boring."

"Well, not like we have much of a choice. He's another 'average guy'".

"I knew it. One day they're gonna channel their psyche so much they'll rip a hole in reality. Where's he headed?"

"World ID: six-five-two."

"Ugh. Another gallon of diesel for the rape train. I take back what I said about the power fantasy. You'd think they'd care about their own, but I know they get off to it."

There was a long pause and then the man spoke again. "You know what? No. I'm sick of this shit and I'll give them what they truly want. They just don't know they do. Hand me the terminal for a second."

"But sir, we have to do what they say."

"Says who? Them? I'll give him a power and a place to be, all right. I'll give him the power to knock some sense into this adolescent circlejerk. Let's send him right back to where he came from."

"With respect, do you know what you're doing? What are you trying to do?"

"I want something I can witness and be able to say 'that's the good shit right there' and not feel an overwhelming sense of guilt. If I have to be kicked back to janitor duty to do it, so be it. Hey, what's that yellow light?"

"Oh."

"The divine intercom's been on all this time. Wake him up before we spill anything else. I'm going to take my lunch."

It was then that I woke up and everything went to shit.

Well, not immediately. It was subtle, similar to a cheap horror movie. First, Leonard said he noticed an unusual amount of fauna moving about in the trees in the morning. I said, since it was fall, maybe they were migrating. He accepted this for now. The next notable thing was tower four reporting the sighting of a "weird-ass bear humping a tree". Obviously, she had slept through all of the nature classes. We laughed, but immediately after we got a very vague call from station telling us to be on the lookout for "unusual behavior of wildlife". We were curious and a bit concerned, but that was nothing compared to the night.

It was a waxing moon, and had been a new one only a few nights before. It was very dark, however the stars were beautiful. So much so that it tempted Louis to come outside with his scope and have a look at them. Nothing happened for a few hours, but then he said he had sighted a very large bird. I asked him," A bird? At this time of night?" He confirmed, but it looked weird. He said it was missing the back half and it had two things dangling under it. It also had a very large head. There was a pause, and then he said, "Oh crap, those are legs." I responded with, "What?" He wheezed,"It's carrying a pair of legs." Again, I said. "What?" He drew breath and said, "It looks like a bird with a hairy head, missing it's back half, and carrying a pair of human legs." I paused and considered where the other half of the human was. Louis said, "Wait, it was circling, but now it's changing course to this way." A few seconds later he added, "I can hear something now. It's…" For the third time in a row, I asked, "What?" Very shakily, Louis continued, "It's singing."

I didn't respond. I couldn't think to. This situation defied every piece of knowledge and experience I had. I had no idea what was going on, what Louis was looking at, or what kind of danger he was in. I had nothing. Neither did he, so he decided to get his spotlight and see what it was, now that it was closing. Then he started screaming bloody murder and dropped his radio. He had left it on push to talk, so that was the end of it. I did warn the other towers, responses were mixed. Leonard wanted to know what the hell I was talking about. Tower four's call was just heavy breathing. It sounded like she was doing some kind of workout, but then there was a wet squelch and there was nothing more from that frequency. Leonard listened to that, tried to get up with Louis with no luck, and then started cursing like a madman. He said there was something running up the stairs of his tower and said he needed to be quiet for a bit. I never heard him talk again.

The outlook was bleak. Louis was down. Tower four was… I don't know what she was, but she wasn't talking. Leonard was on guard, so he'd probably be okay. I realized I needed to worry about myself, too. Ignoring both of the firearms at my disposal, I picked up the metal bat and began paying attention to my surroundings. I noticed out the window that there was another shape in the sky blotting out the stars headed towards me. In the greatest act of dumbassery ever recorded, I opened the door, walked outside, and let it shut behind me. This trait is probably genetic, since my entire family's reaction to a tornado is to step outside and see. That might explain how great-grandad died in one. The shape got closer, until I started to think this was a very poor decision. That was when I saw a pair of glowing yellow eyes and another pair of green, scaly claws shot out of the darkness.

I didn't really think much, I just reacted and swung the bat as hard as my adrenaline and terror-infused muscles could manage. I missed the first appendage entirely, but I did connect with the next one at the joint. There was a little give, followed by too much, and a nauseating, wet crunching noise. The damage was done. However, inertia is a thing, so the attacking beast continued on its course. The other limb (now confirmed to be a leg) hit my right shoulder and slammed me against the door. It didn't break, but the wood crunched and most of the glass broke. My head also smacked against the door and I want to confirm that the cartoons are absolutely correct. I saw stars and heard songbirds. I also saw a green blur over my head also collide with the door. The body in between hit me in the face with a surprising mix of softness and armored scale. Both parties reeled and distanced themselves from each other.

Still dazed from the blow, my vision was greatly blurred. The light from the inside illuminated my attacker. It was some kind of quadrupedal, winged, reptilian thing. A mix of green and flesh color, but the yellow eyes still shone with hatred. The monster let out a roar and there was this yellow glow from where it's mouth should be. Suddenly, a cone of fire erupted out of it and I briefly lost sight of anything below my knees. I was stunned by this, so the monster took the initiative and tried to push itself forward on one leg. Fortunately, the shock had worn off and the other broken leg was informing it's owner just how bad the injury was. The monster immediately dropped to the ground, but tried to push itself up.

I'll be honest, I didn't do much around this time. My vision had come back, but my pants were also on fire and I immediately began smacking them. The monster attempted to charge it's breath weapon again, but there was this retching noise, followed by it puking all over the deck. Keep in mind, it was still trying to breathe fire, but it wasn't working so well. The only thing it managed to do was cook the deck. Vomit is awful, but baked vomit is another nasal assault entirely. I staggered.

My vision came back enough to realize that the thing in front of me was undoubtedly reptilian, but also humanoid and unmistakably female.

After putting out my blackened pants, I pushed the bat down on the neck of the monster and kept her down on the deck. Admittedly, I didn't think that I was pushing her face against the vomit on the floor. That would explain her burning a hole through the floor. I apologized later. I asked her some pointed questions, but she seemed only focused on growling and sucking in air every time she attempted to move. I didn't know if she could speak, so I used the time-tested strategy of understanding by speaking my language, just slower. Worked perfectly. "Are you going to keep trying to kill me?" There was a pause, then she stopped moving. I slowly removed the bat and said, "Shut up and hold still while I get something"

Gauze was in the medkit inside and I grabbed the pole used to hold one of the windows that kept sliding down. Honestly, I did the whole thing as muscle memory because of first aid training I received in case a hiker got hurt. I also got some pain pills from the kit and walked back to the deck. As I started aid, I asked, "So, do you talk?"

There was a pause, and then she said "Yes." I noticed a few things: First, being near her face was like staring into a toaster oven. Every time she spoke, it was like I was checking if the food was done. Second, she had a very haughty accent, like she had spent her entire life living on family money or something. "Good. Then take these." I handed her three pills.

She looked at them, perplexed. "And do exactly what with them?" I forgot she didn't know and said to eat them. She threw them into her mouth and immediately crunched on them. Her face immediately soured. "Human alchemy continues to be disgusting." I didn't want to tell her she wasn't supposed to do that, but whatever. It was in her system, so it would probably be fine.

I tried to salvage the conversation. "You got a name?" I had just finished the splint and she rolled around and sat with her legs out. I got a good look at her. Her torso and head were human(with the exception of the horns and ears), but everything else was reptilian. Her arms and legs were disproportionately large, but she handled them as well as I used mine. A pair of large wings extended out of her back. My headache proved that they could easily carry her. Unlike a human, her pupils were slits and not circular. To top it all off, she was fairly attractive. I thought that at the time, but ignored those thoughts. I was done with women for the time, and would take some time to emotionally heal, but don't worry! As the introduction proves, I wasn't jaded forever.

"Of course I have a name, but I will not give it to a human unless you say yours first." The narcissism was strong with this one. "Fine. I'll give you the courtesy. Name's Richard." She considered this. "That sounds like a fairly worthy name. Mine is Autriel." I noted, "Fairly angelic." She took some surprise and small pride that I knew. "Why yes, when I was born, the sun happened to break out of the clouds and illuminated me, and so my mother came up with the name." That was very cute, so I said, "Aww. That's nice. Anyway, you got a hobby of flying up and attacking people? I had heard stories of monsters living in the woods, but I always thought of something covered with fur."

"Firstly, I am not 'some monster'. I am a dragon, the highest form of reptile and one of the highest of the entire monster kingdom. I pity your sheltered life, but it seems your parents have not told you of the obvious danger of monsters. How you have not learned already is astoundingly lucky."

"What do you mean? Very few people believe monsters even exist. At best, it's all just legends and none of them make you out to be… as reasonable."

I was going to say "attractive", but stopped myself.

"We are usually… not. In fact, we never are around men. However, that's not unexpected. It may be this new land. That would explain your strange mannerisms and living quarters."

"How's this weird? How'd you get here?"

"While I'm not very aware of the tools man uses to make of for its inadequacies outside of combat, I cannot identify even a third of the items in this room. As for how I got here, I was quite simply flying along, looking for something to eat, when the trees shimmered and changed. I spotted a tower, curiously flew over, saw you, and you know the rest."

"So I take it you're not from here."

"No, I am not. Truth be told, I have no idea where I am." She paused for a second. It seems that now the tension had passed, she was starting to realize the situation. "I don't know where anything is. My other kin, my hoard. These aren't even my mountains."

Oh right, I remembered from fantasy books I read that dragons had hoards of glittery things. "I'm sorry you lost your collection. You must've been working for a long time."

"My life's work so far." She stared out blankly.

"Well, what about your home?"

She responded as if reciting something. "The hoard is home. A home is simply a place for the hoard."

That spoke volumes. I had a great diplomatic idea. I got up and went over to the table the fire finder was on and grabbed something. "I think a home is more than that, but here. Take this."

"What is it?"

"Peace offering. It's a chunk of rose quartz I found near the tower and I thought it looked cool. I collect shiny rocks, but I couldn't bring my collection." I put it in Autriel's claw and continued, "Since you've lost your hoard, I figured this could be the first piece of your new one." After I said this, I swear the temperature of the entire room raised a few degrees, but it was probably my imagination.

After a bit of silence, I asked if there were more monsters about. Autriel answered yes. I asked how many and she said they were numberless. That didn't help my mood at all. The scent of a dragon was probably the only thing keeping the others from charging the tower, raping me within a inch of my life, and probably tearing my legs off(Best case scenario). I pointed out that the mess on the deck was pretty pungent enough to drive anyone back. Autriel answered yes, the more civilized ones would think twice, however that wasn't a guarantee. Once her condition is made known, the clout of killing a dragon among the rest would be great. To also die hoardless would be a great shame.

"All right, fine. Let's discourage them some more." I went for the shotgun, put shells in the breech, and started for the door. Autriel asked, "What is that?"

"It's a gun. Do you know how it works?"

"That I do not."

"Okay, have humans ever used slings against you?"

Autriel smugly stated, "Yes they have. However, they have yet to pierce my hide."

"Do you know how fast sound travels?"

"I have an idea. It's the fastest thing known."

"Great. Imagine a slingshot bullet going faster than that. It's also very loud. I'll be back."

"But, that's impossible. Nothing is faster than sound itself."

"We used to think that. I'll be right back." I grabbed a headlight and walked back onto the deck. Ending the conversation there was moot since the glass on the door was broken. I went to the staircase and shone the light down. I immediately panicked. There was some sort of monster with a black, shiny exoskeleton and more than four legs standing there at the base of the stairs. As soon as it saw me, it made this clacking noise. I'll admit, I didn't get a good look at it, but I should also mention I suffer from arachnophobia. I mean, I don't positively know if it was a spider or not, but did I really want to give the potential ginantic arachnid time to react? Nope. I raised the gun and pulled the trigger.

I certainly wounded it, because it started making this combination of shrieking and clicking noises. The sound of the shot annihilated the silence of the night and the flash briefly lit up the scene. Whatever it was scuttled off quickly into the brush. I retreated back to the door.

Autriel was holding her ears. "That was deafening! You would use such a weapon?"

"Yeah, don't worry. My ears are ringing too. It's better than the metal stick."

"But you can simply flex your finger and kill anything! On a whim!"

I ejected the shells. "So? It's not like I have much of a choice."

"But that's not how it works! This is not how events are supposed to pass! It can't end faster than I can blink! We are… I was supposed to…"

"What? Supposed to what? You told me exactly what's going to happen to me when I can't fight anymore. They're nervous now, but as soon as they figure out that I've got to fall asleep eventually, they'll bum rush this place and you know neither of us are going to survive. You think I'm going to just lie on the floor and wait for them to come? Mark my words, the next shot is going to be a hell of a lot better aimed."

Autriel spoke in a frustrated voice, "So, what do you propose we do?"

"How about this? I need a guide since there's a wide variety of these things out there and you seem to know their behavior well. Also, your scent will drive them away. The sun will rise in a few hours. In exchange for dressing your leg and some breakfast, you'll accompany me on the path back to the nearest town, helping me as best you can. We can discuss what happens after."

Autriel considered and then said, "I accept your terms of parlay."

"How's the leg?"

"It pains me greatly, but I will be back to normal in a few days. We reptilians regenerate quickly."

"I'm envious."

"Of course. Also, I would ask if you didn't refer to it as 'my scent' and moreof 'my presence'."

The next few hours were mostly quiet. I turned off the lights, so nothing could see the inside of the tower. It was already dark, but got progressively darker as the hours continued. I tried to get some rest on the cot without actually falling asleep. Autriel got up at some point and sat on top of the table with the firefinder. The moonlight highlighted her lavender hair and I wondered why it was that color. My first thought was dye, but purple was a pretty hard color to come by in the technology of the place she probably came from. To be honest, I felt a little guilty of shooting the insectoid thing at the base of the stairs. It seemed to have greatly disturbed Autriel. I thought of that for a little while I saw her in the corner of my eye, looking out the window.

That went on for some time until the moon disappeared behind the trees and it got really dark. All I could see was one of Autriel's eyes. Immediately after darkness fell, that one eye slowly became two, and I could faintly hear the sound of scales shifting on the wooden table. She didn't move from where she was, just rotated. Those unnerving eyes were looking right at me, yet not moving an inch. I knew that feline and canine eyes were different and reflected back light, but there must be some kind of minor bioluminescence at work here, because nothing outside of bugs and some fish does that.

At least I didn't have to worry about accidentally falling asleep with the creeping sense of being watched by something I had already wounded once. I didn't dare look her direction and tried to maintain steady breathing. Probably futile, but I'm sure she could smell fear and I'd do my best to give off signals of calm.

It was futile. Though, I must commend your willpower.

Quit putting stuff in between. Your part is coming up soon, I promise.

This went on until sunrise. It got to the point where I became relatively relaxed. She didn't do anything except look, so I gradually went from panicked to mildly disturbed. When I could see myself on the bed, I got up. Autriel pretended to lay down and ended up breaking one of the sights of the fire finder. As I walked over to a cabinet and rummaged, I asked, "Do you sleep facedown or on the side? I'm guessing you don't sleep on your back because of the tail." Autriel answered, "On the side. However, I did find a hammock one time on the outskirts of a human hamlet, sliced a hole where my tail would be, and took a nap. I slept very well, but my snoring was loud enough to attract some human guards." I snorted with my head halfway inside the cabinet. "Do not laugh. It is a very niche condition that has only occurred when I sleep on my back, and as you know, I cannot." Changing the subject, I asked, "What do you like for breakfast?"

Autriel quickly said, "Veal is one of my personal favorites, however, boar is also good during cool morns such as this." I chuckled, considering the inventory and place of the lookout tower. This is the perfect place for preparing some haute cuisine! I guess she expected me to set up a fire pit with a spit above it and go kill a boar myself. "We got pork sausages. I was going to have them as a treat, but since we can't stay here, might as well eat them now."

I had piqued the dragon's interest. "Sausages? They are pig meat you say? Are they similar to salted pork?" I grabbed two packages, along with two cans of peaches because I'm a healthy boy who eats his fruits, except pears. I hate pears. "Yeah. Take pig intestine, chop into pieces, fill those pieces full of pig meat, tie off filled intestine pieces, and then cook." I slapped the packages on the countertop. Describing this process usually makes people pucker their lips and ask me why I made them think about it. I only do it because the devilish side of me enjoys using people's own imagination against them.

This had the opposite effect against Autriel. She attempted to hide her excitement, but it was given away curls of smoke coming out of her nostrils. I assumed this was a good thing and turned the burner knob. I waited a few seconds, but the coils didn't turn red. I put my hand over it and it was cold. "Oh no. Don't tell me." I went over to the HAM radio and tried to turn it on. Nothing happened. "Agh, dammit. Power's out." Autriel chuckled on the table.

"Ah humans, without artifice, what are you?" Mockery was not helping. I turned my head and retorted, "Sausageless unless we think of something." Autriel got off the table and hobbled over to where I was. "I suppose this can become a joint venture. I should have expected the fragility of your conveniences." I got a griddle and a can of non-stick spray. "Shut it, smug dragon, or I'll spray this stuff right in your mouth." The inside of her mouth began glowing and I felt heat. "Try it human." There was a brief pause and then I reconsidered. "Actually no, that might kill us both." Autriel was confused. "How?" I answered bluntly, "Aerosol. This explodes."

Autriel was shocked, "And you keep such a thing in the cooking area?" I flatly said yes and for the both of us to get on with it. I had an idea and told her to head out onto the deck with me. I got a fork and handed her one. She was very curious about my plan. We both sat down and I asked if she could just blow a moderate, but continuous flame. She said of course, it would be as easy as breathing.

And so there we sat on the deck, roasting sausages and watching the sun rise. I gave her a fork, so she could cook her own and I just held mine over her fire. "Honestly, I was going to hand you a pack of the raw ones while I ate the other." Autriel seemed minorly offended, "While I am not a dainty eater, I do prefer my food cooked, but occasionally like the texture of raw. It depends on my mood." The conversation here was a nice contrast of the lingering thought of countless eyes watching us for a sign of weakness. For the moment, I was enjoying myself.

Autriel chewed on the last sausage and asked me, "I'm one to hope the clever human has a plan to get down the mountain without getting ambushed and mauled." I answered, "Not really. We'll just get on the four-wheeler and go. Actually, we're not going straight to town just yet." Autriel finished the sausage, but continued to absentmindedly naw on the fork. "Oh?"

"Well, my parents live far away, and I don't know how far you monsters are spread out. Now that it's morning, I'm willing to bet that it's made news already, so I figured I'd give them a call and let them know I'm fine."

"You would call for them? I thought you said you were far away."

"They are. I'll call them on my phone when I get into cell service."

"I have no idea what you just said."

"Oh right, you don't know." I pulled out my cell phone. "Wonderful little device when you actually think about it. With this, I can speak with anyone I want, no matter where they are."

"Amazing. I'm assuming it's magical."

"Errr… No. It's not magical, but let's just say it is, because that'll make it easier to understand. You may have noticed some thin metal towers nearby. Those are 'bound' to my phone and let's it work. However these towers need to 'see' it and so mountains interfere with that."

"I see. You plan is to go uphill then?"

"To do that, yeah. Also, there's a radio station on the peak and I want to touch in with some fellow humans before heading into town."

"Then we have no time to waste."

"Right."

I packed the guns and the bat into the duffel bag, along with toiletries and clothes. Out of curiosity, I asked who made the modified tank top Autriel was wearing. She said one of her sisters kidnapped a tailor and he was most cooperative, especially after they threatened to shatter his hands.

I carried the bag to the ATV and Autriel took off, hovered down the stairs, and landed on her good leg. A broken knee isn't so bad when you can just fly wherever you want. I got in, so did she, and I put the bag in between us. She asked how was I expecting to go anywhere without a beast of burden. I answered it was a horseless cart. Autriel had gotten to the point where she just accepted what I said without asking. I said to hang on and started up the mountain.

Nothing jumped out at us during the ride. It wasn't a long one, but it seemed that way since the feeling of being watched had never truly left. Honestly, I think speed and the noise of the motor were the only thing keeping them away. That, and while Autriel seemed to be enjoying the ride, her occasionally looking into the forest, baring her teeth and growling, stressed me out. At one point, she blew a small puff of flame and I swear I saw the same insectoid thing I saw last night scuttle into the bushes. It was just a blur, though.

Autriel mentioned her presence might disturb the locals and I agreed. Ignoring that "the contraption"'s noise had probably disturbed every monster in a quarter mile. I parked behind a bush, while Autriel stared up at the signal tower. The front door had been bashed in, with two large dents around head height in it. Glass was all over the floor.

I didn't waste any time and found a radio inside. I spent a few minutes tuning it to various stations to figure out what was going on. It was very chaotic, but monsters were targeting civilian areas, so power was still on in most places. Anyone with a radio transmitter was now using it to request for help, declare safehouse locations, or, like one man, give an unnervingly calm reading of the book of Revelations. Some signals were coming from out of state, so it looks like this disaster wasn't localized. A few more minutes and I figured out that the whole country was in this situation. I also picked up a numbers station transmission, just blatantly hanging out on civilian frequencies. It said a recording, "They say the Nile used to run from east to west", followed by a tone, then silence for thirty seconds, before the whole thing repeated. It was eerie, so I turned off the radio.

I walked outside and found Autriel sitting on the edge of the roof. I tried to call home again with no luck, just an answering machine. Autriel asked, "So, what do you suppose we do now?" I explained what was going on and said, "...However, I'm going to head home. I've gotta make sure they're all right." Autriel looked skeptical, "By the time you are finished crossing your nation, they may be long dead." Her logic was sound, "But, better late than never. You want to come? A travel buddy would be nice." She pushed off the roof and carefully descended her way to the ground. "Your loyalty is commendable and a tour of this new land without having to fly it myself sounds fun. I shall stay and then we will see what to do at the end."

"Sweet. Welcome aboard."